“I’m still going to come around. I’m not going to stop seeing you just because you have your sights set on him. I won’t miss any opportunity to be with you. I love you. I’m not giving up on you, not ever again.” He leaned down and kissed her lightly and she let him, then he pulled her against his chest again.
She knew there was truth in what he said; many women were led to believe that they had a future with some married man when in reality, there would never be a future, but she just couldn’t give up on Kevin. She fully understood Lamar’s insistence not to give up on her in turn, and she could not deny him that opportunity.
“I understand,” she said softly. “I don’t mind if you come around, and I like visiting with you, but you have to know what the stakes are and where my heart really is. I don’t want you thinking things that just aren’t going to happen.”
He rubbed her back again. “Alright. I’m going to be here. I’m going to be around so much that you’ll change your mind. I will show you just how important you are to me, and then you’ll choose the right man. Then you’ll see just how good I am for you and Maddie, and you’ll let go of that fool of a married man and live right.” He kissed the top of her head, then reached his finger under her chin and tilted her face up to him, kissed her forehead softly, then her nose, and she smiled at him, and then he kissed her lips again, slowly, deeply, sensually, and her heart started to skip a beat.
She kissed him back for a moment; he moaned quietly and then held her face close to his and said, “You’re going to be mine again. You are going to be my girl. I’m not giving up on you. You are going to be in my arms forever, baby. I lost you once already, but it’s never going to happen again.”
She tilted her head to the side and gave him an apologetic look, and then stepped around him and walked out of her bedroom and into the living room. He was close behind her. He hugged her goodbye and kissed her once more, lingering close to her lips and then he smiled at her and walked out the door. She closed it behind him and took a deep breath, pushing all the confusion from her mind.
When Kevin pulled up to the house and parked his car, he discovered that he wasn’t alone on the street. He closed the car door and heard someone call him.
“Kevin,” the man’s voice said.
He turned, looking around him and saw Lamar standing across the road and a short distance away. Kevin recognized him as the man he had seen leaving Marina’s once before, and he walked toward him with no expression.
“What can I do for you?” Kevin asked simply.
“We need to talk,” Lamar said, grinding his teeth.
“Who are you?” Kevin asked, certain he already knew who the man was.
“I’m Lamar. I was Marina’s fiancé,” he said quietly. “Go for a walk with me. We need to have a conversation.” He wasn’t asking, he was requesting without another option.
Kevin looked back at Marina’s house and then turned to face Lamar. “We can speak here.”
Lamar shook his head. “I don’t want Marina to see us talking. Let’s walk.”
Kevin sighed deeply and nodded his head. “Alright. Let’s walk.”
They turned together and walked near each other down the street until they rounded the corner and neither one said a word until they reached the park where Lamar spent the afternoon with Marina.
They sat on a park bench and Lamar started the conversation. “I know Maddie is your child biologically, but I also know you’re a married man and, for some reason, Marina seems to have feelings for you. She seems to think that if she waits around for you that someday you might leave your wife and go be with her. We both know you’re never going to do that. It’s totally unfair of you to give her any kind of hope that you might ever be with her. I want you to leave her alone and tell her you aren’t going to leave your wife. Be honest with her.”
Kevin sat up straight and looked right at him. “I don’t actually know what I’m going to do, and whatever happens, it isn’t your business anyway.”
Lamar breathed deeply and let the breath out slowly. “It is my business because I love her and I want to be with her, but she’s stuck on you. You are holding her back from having a happy life. You’re holding her back from being with me and having a healthy and loving relationship with a man who actually wants to be with her! You’re being completely selfish!”
Kevin’s voice grew sharp. “I’m the one who is being selfish? You left her at the altar! She said she would spend the rest of her life with you! You had her and you left her! How am I the selfish one?”
“You’re married! You are married and you are having children outside of your marriage and hustling an innocent beautiful young woman with false hopes of love and a relationship! She is sitting there alone in her house with that baby girl waiting for you, believing your lies that you’re going to leave your wife for her! You are using up every one of the days that passes that you aren’t truly with her!
“That’s her life, it’s her time, every single day, and she is burning every one of them waiting on you to stay true to your word and leave your wife and go to her and the baby, and you aren’t doing it! Every day you are still with your wife is another day of Marina’s that you have used her, lied to her, let her believe she was important enough to you that each day might be the day that you actually put her first and leave your wife for her, and each night she goes to bed a loser. Each day she goes to bed sad and alone because you aren’t there with her.
“Each day you have let her down and each night you go to sleep at your own home with your wife and you leave her hurt a little bit more, you leave her alone, and she doesn’t have to be. She could be with me. She could be loved, cared for, happy, and fulfilled, but you won’t let her have that because you are a selfish son-of-a-bitch who is putting his own desires above everyone else’s interests.” Lamar laid into him with scathing comments and an angry tone.
Kevin stood up and faced him, looking down at him with narrowed eyes. “You have no idea what you are talking about. You have no idea the sacrifices that I have made or the reality of what is going on in my life or in my home. You have no concept of the love between Marina and I and you dare to call me selfish! You left her when she believed in you the most; you walked out on her when you had a chance to be with her as her husband for the rest of her life!
“If you had kept to your word, she would never have had Maddie and she wouldn’t be alone right now. You would be in her home, in her arms, in her bed with her every night and none of us would ever have even met, but you didn’t put her first, you put yourself first. You gave your word to her and you broke it. You broke your promise to her before it was even made! You left her and hurt her more deeply than anyone ever has!
“It’s no surprise to me that she hasn’t taken you back yet. You think I’m being selfish? I wouldn’t even be standing here in front of you if you had kept your word. I’ll tell you something, Lamar, there is nothing so sacred as a man’s word, and if you understood even a fraction of that concept, you would know why I have to do what I am doing to get out of my marriage so that I can commit myself fully to Marina. I have every intention of being part of her life in one way or another all the days of our life because we have a child together, and I will always take care of her and love her. She will have everything she needs!” His voice was raised a bit louder than indoor level.
Lamar stood up and looked Kevin directly in the eye. “Maybe she’ll have the money she needs, but will she have the love? Will she have the companionship she needs? She may have said that she wanted to have that baby on her own and raise Maddie alone, but you don’t know Marina like I do. You have no idea how hard it will be for her to be alone, especially if she is waiting around for you to decide whether or not you want her more than your wife.”
Kevin glared at Lamar. “Does she even love you? Does she want you? Has she said it? I doubt it. She is a one-man woman and she wants me. She loves me! She doesn’t want you, so going after her is nothing more than you pushing
her to do something she doesn’t want to do. She has no interest in you, Lamar! She wants nothing to do with you romantically! You burned that bridge when you left her! Trying to twist the branch of friendship that she has so generously extended to you into something romantic is not only unfair but also underhanded of you!
“She doesn’t want you, Lamar. Respect that and let her go! Let her live her own life! You had your chance and you screwed it up. You lost it and you lost her. Leave like a man with some dignity!”
Lamar shook his head. “No way; I’m not leaving. I have another chance with her. I have another opportunity to make her mine. She gave me that chance when she let me back in her life, and she even let me kiss her tonight. I’m going to get her back and you aren’t going to be able to stop me, married man. Why don’t you just go home to your wife and leave that poor girl alone! Let her find some real love with someone who does love her!”
Kevin clenched his jaw. “Lamar, I’m going to tell you this right now. Back off Marina. Leave her alone and stay away from my daughter. She thinks that the two of you are friends, and I know you have more on your mind. You stay away from the house altogether. I don’t want you around either one of them. You are finished there.”
Lamar smirked and shook his head. “Oh no… no. I’m not ever going to give up on her again. I lost her once because I was a fool, but you aren’t looking at a fool right now. I’ve learned my lesson. I know how amazing she is. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to go after her even more than I already have been.
“I’m going to make that woman mine and I’m going to be there for her daughter every single day and raise her like she was my own, because Maddie needs a father around her all the time and Marina needs a man to love her every night and be with her every day, and that man is me.
“I’m not going to stop until she is my wife. Nothing you say is going to stop me from doing that. You’ve met your match, Kevin, and you are going to lose. Marina is going to be mine.”
With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Kevin looking after him.
Kevin knew he was going to have a battle on his hands. He stood there watching Lamar walk away and then he sat quietly on the bench beside him. Lamar’s words had pierced a secret truth he had been struggling with in his heart. He did feel as though he was stringing Marina along. He was a married man, he was living with his wife every day, although they only had a sham of a marriage and there was no love. She was pregnant and he had no idea if he would ever be with Marina.
Lamar was right; every night she went to bed without him. She was lonely, she was sad, she wanted him to be there. She had said as much to him since she had admitted her love to him, and the most he could do was say it back to her.
He hadn’t made love to her. He hadn’t been there to comfort and care for her in person, but Lamar had been there… Lamar had kissed her that very day, he said. Kevin closed his eyes trying to block the imagined image of Lamar kissing Marina. He began to wonder how much of Lamar’s words were right. He began to wonder if he was indeed being selfish; asking Marina to wait for him, asking her to hold her love back and wait in loneliness until he knew what he was doing with his life and his marriage. How could he do that to her?
He wondered what would happen if he let her choose… if he told her that she was free to be with anyone she wanted. What if he told her that Ellen was pregnant? Would she wait for him then? Would she be angry with him and let him go? Would her love turn to anger? Would she go to Lamar for comfort and love? Was it really selfish of him to try to keep her for himself?
A blizzard of questions confused him, raging through his mind. He sat on the bench for a long while, considering all of them. He didn’t want a competition with Lamar. He didn’t want to make Marina into some prize to be battled over and won like a trophy. He wanted to be with her because they were in love, because they wanted each other for the rest of their lives, not because he had bested another man for her heart and her future.
Kevin sat on the bench with all of those questions and many more racing through his mind, and a heavy heart weighing him down. He felt as though he needed some time to think through everything. He walked back to his car, got into it and drove away, and he didn’t see Lamar watching him with some satisfaction when he left.
He headed back to his own house and he called Marina as he drove away.
“Hello, Marina,” he said, so glad to hear her voice, but feeling quite low.
“Hi, I thought you would have been here by now, is everything alright?”
“Actually, there’s been a little bit of a development on this end and I won’t be able to come visit tonight. I’m very sorry, I really wanted to see you both, but I have some things to take care of that can’t wait. Are you alright?” he asked, hopeful that she would be forgiving.
She was. “That’s alright.” She said after a quiet moment. “It’s fine. I’ll have dinner here.”
“How is Maddie?” he asked, sorry that he hadn’t seen her.
“She’s fine. She’s looking around at everything.” There was a sadness in her voice and he knew that she was hurting.
“I’ll see you soon. I promise. My word to you. I will be there as soon as I am able to be there.” He hoped it would soothe her some.
“Alright. Take care, Kevin. I love you.” she spoke softly.
“I love you too, Marina. So much.” He hung up and sighed in frustration. He dialed the phone again and this time Jacob answered.
“How are things going, Kevin?” he asked curiously.
“They have certainly been better. I had a run in with Marina’s ex-fiancé Lamar tonight. He wants to be with her and he’s giving me a run for my money… or rather, for my lady.”
Jacob laughed. “He can’t be serious. He left her at the altar, didn’t he?”
“He did,” Kevin answered with a sigh.
“There’s no way she’s going to take him back. No woman gets over that kind of humiliation and pain. Not to worry too much about him. Let’s focus on getting your situation figured out. How’s the old ball and chain doing?” Jacob couldn’t stand Ellen and he had a long list of unflattering pet names for her.
“She’s extremely grouchy, slightly sick and her appetite for extra-marital trysts has increased. I am almost used to walking in on her mid-coital dalliances these days. I warned her that the baby is at risk, but she has no concerns for that, though she says the baby is the most important thing to her, if for no other reason than for the wealth that will come with it.” He was thoroughly disgusted with her.
Jacob whistled through his teeth. “She sure is a piece of work. Are all the cameras still up at the house?”
“Yes. I’ve stopped looking at the feeds, though. There’s only so much I can stand, and watching what amounts to sex tapes starring my wife and half the hired help around the house is more than I can reasonably stomach.” Kevin’s face turned in distaste.
“Well, you don’t have to watch them, but you do have to keep them. I’ll be over to collect more of them tomorrow. I’m going to bring an obstetrician over to do a blood test that will determine paternity of the child she’s carrying. She’s far enough along now that we should get a clean test out of her to find out what’s really going on.” Jacob sounded very sure of himself. “I’m sorry to say it, buddy, but I can’t imagine that the kid she’s carrying is really yours.”
“Jacob, the pregnancy confirmation documents she has say without a shadow of a doubt that she got pregnant while we were in Hawaii. It’s the only time I’ve slept with her in over a year. That might very well be my child; in fact, I would be shocked if it wasn’t.”
Kevin remembered the night they made love in the house on the beach in Hawaii and he had called out Marina’s name as he reached his orgasm. He had wished so much that it was Marina rather than Ellen that he was with that night, and now she was pregnant and it was the only reason he wasn’t with Marina. Irony abounded.
“Well, regardless, we are going to get the doct
or over tomorrow and get this figured out once and for all. If that isn’t your child, I will have divorce papers ready to go, and if it is, then I have some other options for her that may get you the divorce plus the child. I’ll be over around noon. Please make sure she’s around and don’t tell her we are doing this, just let her know that we need to see her in your office after lunch. Can you do that for me, Kevin?” Jacob sounded hopeful and a bit happy in a self-satisfied way.
“Yeah, I’ll have her there. Thanks, Jacob.” He hung up and parked at his house, heading up to his room to bury his aching head in the deep pillows he hoped would block out all the chaos in his mind.
Chapter9
When Kevin awoke the next morning, it was early and he found that he was fired with a blazing determination to make it a life-defining day. He knew that it would be the day that decided his future, and the future of the two women who were simultaneously central figures in his life. He showered and dressed, sliding his tie closed. He was always in a suit and tie, always dressed very well, and was often complimented on his style and class.
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