He looked at her, watching her with a detached sort of emotion, and realized that the pain in him, the pain that had been there building up for so long, even the pain from seeing her with the two men in her bed that very morning, was dissipating, and in its place was a growing light and warmth. He was going to be free of her, and he would be able to be with Marina. There would be no guilt. There would be no conflict or confusion. He was going to be free.
“Ellen, you did this to yourself, and you did it to me. You chose every action and inaction you did. I stayed with you through thick and thin, and gave you the benefit of the doubt and I didn’t even turn my back on you when I found out you were seeking lovers outside of our marriage. I was with you through all of it, and now it’s time to cut it and let it go.
“We both need to focus on a new life without each other. I’m so sorry it worked out like this for us. I really loved you, but everything that has led us to this moment has been because of you.” He spoke solemnly and watched her as she tried to contain her anger.
Jacob just grinned. “Do you need a pen? I have several. Any color you like.” He set one on the table in front of her and she grabbed it up and signed the divorce papers in each place that he indicated to her. When she was done, she snapped his pen in half and threw it back at him.
“Do you have any questions?” Jacob asked her, jovially.
She seethed at him. “Yes. Where the hell are all those sex tapes at that you two recorded of me?”
Jacob leaned back and folded his hands in his lap. “They are safely tucked away. You see, those are a resource. An ace in the hole, if you will. If you give Kevin any grief over the next five years, if you harass him, if you ask him for money, if you slander his name, if you try to sell your story to the press, there will be repercussions. If you speak his name to anyone or try to make any part of his life public, including the lives of his child Maddie or her mother Marina, then every single one of those sex tapes is going to go live all over the entire world.
“If, after five years, you have kept your mouth shut and you never speak a word about Kevin, Marina or Maddie, and you go on your way like a good girl, I will personally guarantee that every sex tape we have of you will go back into your possession and no copies will be kept. My word to you.
“See, this is another opportunity for you to do the right thing instead of screwing up, like you seem to keep doing every chance you get, and if I may offer you a little bit of free advice… don’t screw this up.”
He leaned closer to her over the table, holding her eyes with his in an icy stare. “You screw this up, and your life will become a whole new experience in levels of hell that you have never even dreamed of. I promise you that.” Then he leaned back and grinned at her again.
Kevin and Jacob watched her as she rose up unsteadily and walked out of the office. Kevin stayed in his office, wishing to give her some privacy as she left their home. He didn’t want to see the carnage that was the remnants of his marriage as it bled out the door and into the street. But Jacob hovered near, watching silently and making sure that she neither damaged nor took anything that he had not said she could have.
He was right. It didn’t take her long to pack her things, and the moving company had her out of the home by nightfall. When the door closed behind her for the last time and the locksmith began his work installing new locks on every door in and around the house, Jacob walked back into Kevin’s office and sat down with him, pulling an ancient bottle of scotch out of his thick briefcase.
“What’s that?” Kevin asked, a smile touching the corner of his lips.
Jacob poured them both a glass and set the bottle on Kevin’s desk. “It is the best way to wash out the old and welcome in the new. You and I are going to polish off this bottle tonight, and tomorrow, you are going to have the freedom to do anything you want with your life. Tomorrow, I will track that judge down and have him sign your divorce, and then my friend, you can marry Marina anytime you like. Maybe you could even start shopping for rings tomorrow, if you want to.”
Kevin felt a tear roll down his face. “It’s a bit overwhelming,” he said quietly, looking into the scotch and then up into Jacob’s face. “I could never have gotten through any of it without you, my friend. Thank you.” He toasted Jacob, and together they drank their glasses and then slowly, as the hours passed, they worked their way through the whole bottle.
It was the end of an era and the beginning of a new life. It was closure and opportunity, and it was one of the most significant days of Kevin’s life, just as he knew it would be when he woke up that morning.
Chapter10
Marina had been out walking Maddie in her stroller and as she came up her sidewalk and into the gate of her front yard, she was surprised to see a thick carpet of red rose petals lining the walk. She followed the path of petals up the stairs and saw that there were several bouquets of red roses around her front door. She gasped, looking around in wonder at all of them, dumbstruck by what she was seeing. She entered her home and saw that the path led through her living room, which was filled with more bouquets of roses and the path continued down her hallway and into her bedroom.
She placed her sleeping daughter in her crib in the nursery and closed the door before walking slowly down the hallway. She saw bouquets lining the hallway and the scent of the roses washed over her and through her.
It was a powerful trigger for her, because the flowers at her almost-wedding were all red roses. She couldn’t stand them after her failed wedding day, but now they were everywhere and their scent took her back to that time and made her heady with memories and sentiment.
Marina opened her bedroom door and found that her room was filled with huge bouquets covering every flat surface in her room, and the trail of rose petals ended on the middle of her bed. In the center of her bed, where the rose petal trail ended, there was a white box with a white bow on it.
She lost her breath and could not begin to comprehend what was going on. She raised her hand to her mouth and tears came to her eyes. She suspected that it was Kevin, but she was surprised when she felt hands close around her waist and she turned to see Lamar standing there smiling down at her.
She gasped and looked at him in shock. “How did you get in here? How did… where did all of this come from? What’s going on?” Confusion tumbled the words from her mouth and she wiped the tears from her face.
“I know how much you love roses,” he said softly, reaching up and brushing some of her tears away with his fingertips.
She didn’t have the heart to tell him that since he walked out on her on their wedding day, she had avoided red roses at all costs. The overwhelming presence of them in her home was seriously affecting her, but she said nothing. She just looked at him in amazement. “What’s going on here? I… I don’t understand!” she cried quietly, as huge emotions pulled and tugged at her in different directions.
He reached his hands up to her cheeks, kissing her forehead, then her nose, and finally, he pressed his lips to her mouth in a gentle kiss. “I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you, baby. I wanted to show you how much I love you.” He kissed her again. “I love you more than anything in this world, and you need to understand that.” He moved his hand to the front of her face and his thumb pulled lightly on her chin, opening her mouth as he kissed her so that his tongue could taste her.
Confusion flooded through her heart and mind and she seemed to be drowning in the thick scent of the roses; his closeness to her, his hands on her face, his kiss that moved over and into her mouth, stealing away all of her resistance and reasoning. His kiss deepened and she slowly began to kiss him back, tears on her cheeks, visions flashing through her mind of her wedding day, of her white dress and her beautiful bouquet, of her limitless hopes and dreams, and her wide open heart.
His hands moved from her face, trailing slowly down her neck to her blouse. His fingers moved deftly over the buttons and pushed the material aside, and she drew in her breath, sure that sh
e should stop him, but finding herself intoxicated by the blossoms that invaded her senses, her memories, her mind and her heart. He slid her blouse off and let it fall to the floor, and then reached behind her and loosened her bra, sliding his hands up underneath the material to cup her breasts and fondle her stiffening nipples.
The warmth of his touch took her to countless nights when she had lain with him in the bed they shared, when he had touched every part of her body so tenderly, so carefully, when he had made love to her for the first time, and she gave herself to him in her transformation from girlhood to womanhood. The memories of so many passionate days and nights as they learned about love with each other, as they touched and tasted, kissed and explored one another came back to her, submerging her in emotion and saturating her senses with the past.
Lamar’s kiss grew hungry and insistent. His hands and fingers molded over the roundness of her breasts and he moaned in need. In a single movement, he lifted her and set her on her bed, laying her against the thick pillows.
Something in her wanted to pull away, but he covered her with his mouth and his hands, tasting, touching, drawing heat to her skin from her core and stealing away her very breath. She slowly shook her head trying to clear away all the confusion and connection between what was happening and what had happened between them before.
“Wait…” she said with a thin voice.
He was kissing the top of her breast, moving his open mouth over the full curve of it, and he traced the tip of his tongue to her dark nipple. It was aroused and hard, and he flicked his tongue back and forth over it, drawing more heat from her, but she repeated her plea to him, “Wait…” she whispered. He lifted his head and his eyes to meet her worried gaze.
“What is it baby?” he asked, leaning up and kissing her lips gently, tasting her, sucking on her lower lip, kissing her deeper and hotter, and then looking at her.
“What are you doing? What are you doing to me? What is all this?” she asked, looking around her at her bed, covered in petals. He grinned and picked up a handful of them, letting them fall from his fingers one by one onto her bare chest, and then rubbing his hand over them to press them against her skin.
“Just a little show of appreciation. Just a little love for you,” he said with a quiet smile. He sat up and reached for the box sitting in a pile of red petals in the center of the bed. Lamar pulled his shirt off and lay down beside her as she looked at him in confusion.
“You know what I missed most about us?” he asked with a smile.
“What?” she replied, not sure she really wanted to know.
“I missed the feel of your skin against mine. I love the way your body feels when it’s connected to mine. I want that back. I want you back, baby. You know that. I want you back more than anything in this world, and I’m not going to stop until I get you back.”
He kissed her again, deeply, sensually, caressing her neck, her shoulders, her breasts and her hard nipples. Then he sat up and looked at her with a smile.
“It’s better than it’s ever been with us, baby. Can you feel the heat? Can you feel the passion? It’s like we’ve both come back together at our very best and now we can have each other and enjoy each other forever.” He leaned back down and kissed her mouth, sliding his hand up her leg and underneath her skirt. Her eyes flew open and her hands clamped on his shoulders as his fingers moved hungrily over her flesh.
“Wait, Lamar… this… this is too fast, this is too… wait!” she said again as his fingers reached her underwear and began to anxiously manipulate her body. He pushed past her panties and slid his fingertips into her, rubbing her lightly.
“You used to love for me to touch you, all over your body, do you remember?” he asked softly, kissing the side of her mouth. “You loved my hands on you. You loved me inside of you.”
She turned her head away from him slightly. “I do remember that, but we aren’t like that now… Lamar, what are you doing?”
He pulled his hand from her skirt and leaned up on his shoulder, reaching for the box again, after having set it further back on the bed when he picked it up earlier. He handed it to her and grinned at her, reaching his empty hand up to massage her breasts and play with her hard nipples.
“This is a special gift for you. It’s a promise,” he said as she looked at him suspiciously and pulled the ribbon apart. She lifted the lid, a nervous feeling beginning to spin inside of her, and she tilted the box to look into it.
There in the center of the box was a giant red rose bloom, and at its center was a diamond ring. She gasped and covered her mouth, dropping the box as the nervous feeling in her exploded.
“I want you to marry me,” Lamar said, pulling the rose out and sliding the ring from the petals that surrounded it. He looked at her earnestly. “I made a mistake once before, but I know what I lost and I have you back now, and I’m not going to lose you again. I’m going to marry you and keep you with me as my wife all of my days. I love you, Marina, and I want you to marry me. Say yes. Be my wife, Marina. Let me make you happy always.”
She felt tears stinging her eyes and her throat burned with a sob that she could not let loose. She gasped for a breath and he watched her closely.
“Lamar…” she couldn’t begin to explain to him what was going through her at that moment. All the happiness she had once known with him, all the passion and pain, all the time it took to heal and recover from the devastation he had wreaked on her heart and her life. It was all flowing through her as he laid there with her, the ring in his hand and his face full of love and hope.
“I can’t do this!” she whispered.
“Of course you can baby, it’s so simple, all you have to do is say one little word. Say yes, and I will put this ring on your finger and I will make love to you right now as if we were never apart, not even for a day. I will make all of your life something special and beautiful,” he said, smiling and completely convinced that he was about to make her life perfect.
She shook her head. “No, Lamar, I can’t do this. I love Kevin. I want him. I’m waiting for him.”
Lamar grew visibly frustrated but held it in check. “Baby, no. You can’t wait around for a married man who does nothing but lie to you. Is he here? No. He’s at his house, with his wife, and you are here with me. In your bed, in my arms, and I love you, I want you, I need you, Marina. Marry me. Let me make you happy! Let me show you real love!”
She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. He was speaking aloud the things that plagued her in her dreams at night and in thoughtful clear hours of the day, when she wished that Kevin could be with her, but she knew he was with his wife. She had told herself so many times not to fall in love with a married man, but there was just nothing for it. She had fallen in love with Kevin, and when she finally admitted it to him, he had told her that he loved her back.
He said he was making up his mind about what to do with his marriage and with her and she had told him that she would wait. She had said that she would give him time to work through all the complications that he was struggling to solve. She had meant what she said; she would wait for him. She wanted him. She loved him, and when she heard Lamar say the things that he did, it cut at her heart; reminding her that she might be playing the fool to the man she loved.
“Baby, come on, please…” Lamar said softly, running his finger down her cheek and then pulling her into his arms to kiss her firmly, hotly, and deeply. His arms slid tightly around her and he held his whole body against hers, reminding her of what she had once known with him. His desire was obvious in the erection he pressed against her through his pants, and he began to rub himself on her in firm rhythmic motions.
She felt the warm skin of his chest against hers and it was the most intimate and familiar feeling she had with him since he had come back into her life. It took her back to their last days together, and their last night together, the night before their wedding, the last night they had made love, when he promised to love her and care for her all of her lif
e. The night before he hurt her worse than she had ever been hurt.
She remembered his vows and promises, his declarations of love as he caressed her, as he kissed her, tasted her flesh and moved within her when they made love. She remembered how she had thought that she was feeling the height of love, the fullness of being one with another person, and then the devastating crash of a shattered heart the very next day when he deserted her and left her completely alone, caged in empty promises and broken dreams.
She pushed her hands against his chest and he looked at her in consternation. “Baby… please!” he whispered, the length of his erection pressed hard and firm against her thigh. “I want you back. I want to marry you. I promise… this time it will be the best decision you ever made.” He began to move against her again, and she knew he was trying to arouse her, but her heart was centered solely on Kevin and nothing Lamar did could change that.
She pushed him off her and climbed up off the bed. “No, Lamar. Having Maddie was the best decision I ever made.” She pulled her bra back on and lifted her blouse from the floor, slipping into it and buttoning it back up as she spoke. “You made love to me before. You made promises to me before. You hurt me so bad, Lamar; you could never imagine the pain you put me through that time. I thought I was going to die. It took me a long time to find happiness again, and I have never known as much happiness as I have with my little girl, except when her daddy is around us.
The Baby Shower Page 44