“You're married, you're hers, and this baby is ours, and we are friends, and that's how it is, and that's how it's going to be. I'm just here so you can be around her." Cami spoke sadly, but truthfully, and he knew she was right.
He had no right at all to try to be more than friends with her, and he knew it deep down in his soul. "I'm sorry. I apologize. It's just... seeing you... it brought everything back for me, and I just wanted to... I needed to...." He looked down at his daughter, sleeping peacefully. "This isn't about us anymore, though, it's only about her." He looked up at Cami again. "I understand. I'm so sorry that you went through all of it alone. I promise to make it up to you." He turned and looked at her fully. "Are you still living in Los Angeles?"
She shook her head. "No, I'd like to try to find a place up here so we can raise her together. It's too much for me to try to do it on my own, and I don't want you to miss out on any of it."
"I'm here! I'm here. I'll help you. Never worry about that; never worry about it again." He walked over to door and opened it up, calling for Janine. Then he walked back over to the stroller and looked down at his daughter again.
"What's her name?" he asked softly, feeling the joy in him overflow and spread the smile on his face.
Cami walked toward him and looked down at their daughter. "Her name is Emma. Emma Bruce."
He looked up at her quickly. "You gave her my last name?" he grinned.
Cami smiled and laughed a little. "Of course I did; she's your daughter."
"How old is she?" he asked.
"She's two and a half months old," Cami said as their daughter began to stir and open her eyes. Cami leaned down and picked her up carefully. "Would you like to hold her?"
Roman nodded and grinned the biggest grin of his life as Cami placed the baby girl in his arms. She stared up at her father with big brown eyes; his brown eyes, they weren't as dark as her mother's eyes; and he felt like he could cry with joy forever.
Emma reached her little hand up and touched her father's face and Roman fell in love with her then, for the rest of his life.
"Yes?" Janine said, walking into the room and taking in the scene with a sly smile.
Roman turned to look at her and she raised her eyebrows.
"Janine, please close the door," he said softly.
She closed it and looked at him, waiting expectantly.
"Janine, this is my dear friend Cami, Cami this is my secretary and right hand, Janine." He nodded as he introduced them to each other while his baby patted his face.
The ladies shook hands and Cami grinned at Janine, who gave her a wide smile back.
"Janine, this is my daughter, Emma." He looked up at Janine who tried to blink back the water in her own eyes while her mouth pulled back wide. "Cami and Emma need a place to live, a car to drive, and bank accounts opened in their names. Please take care of that for them right away."
"It would be my honor, Roman," she said, her grin splitting open as she walked toward the baby to look at her more closely.
She gasped and giggled. "Look at that little pipsqueak!" She reached up and tickled Emma's face, and Emma smiled at her happily. "Don't you worry about anything at all, little pipsqueak! Your Auntie Janine is going to take care of everything! Yes I am!"
Janine looked up at Roman and shook her head in joy. "It's about time you got some good in your life. Cami," she said, turning toward the woman standing at Roman's side, "don't you go anywhere. You stay with this man for the rest of your lives."
She turned and headed toward the door, just barely reaching for the doorknob when she turned to look over her shoulder at Roman.
"What do I do about 'The Wife'?" she asked as though the words left a sour taste in her mouth.
Roman pursed his lips and looked at Emma, grinning away at him. "She doesn't need to know anything about this yet. Let's leave that be for now. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. There's no reason to make all of our lives miserable just because we let her in on the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
Janine nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her, and Cami laughed. "Well, that's one way to do it!"
Roman turned and looked at her, laughing with her, and he said, "That's the only way to do it. The less she knows, the happier we will all be." He lifted Emma up in the air, bouncing her just a little and then bringing her back down to his chest to cuddle with her.
"Besides, your Auntie Janine is going to have everything all squared away for you in no time, and then you won't have a single worry in the whole wide world. Not one." He leaned forward to kiss her and as he reached her skin, her scent stopped him and he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of his daughter's skin. It sparked something in him, and new places in his heart opened up where there had been nothing before.
He kissed her and felt the sweet softness of her baby skin on his lips. It brought new worlds of joy to him and a tear rolled down his cheek.
Cami stepped toward him and grinned. "There's nothing in the world like her, is there?" she asked knowingly.
He shook his head. "Nothing at all." He held her close and looked at Cami. "Thank you so much for bringing her here to me and for letting me have this chance with her. I'm going to do everything I can to give you both a good life."
Cami shook her head. "Well, I'm not here for me, but for her..." she smiled at Emma.
Roman looked at her intently. "Absolutely for you. You went almost a whole year on your own with her, through the pregnancy, the labor, the birth, through raising her on your own for a couple of months; there's all of that. There’s the fact that you mean a great deal to me, Cami, and I'm not about to let the mother of my baby, and one of my dearest friends, go without the best. It's my duty and my privilege to do everything I can for the both of you."
She walked up to him and wrapped her arm around him, and laying her head on his bare shoulder as they looked at their daughter. "Aren't we all the lucky ones, then," she said with more elation in her heart than she had felt in a long time.
"I didn't know if I should come; it's so funny, I was so worried about it, and now here I am, with you and her, all of us together, and it's incredible. I'm just sorry that I waited so long to come to you. I wish I'd done it sooner, and that you had been able to be in the hospital."
Roman shrugged. "Well, that's all past; this is what we have now, and what we have now is the best that I've ever had, so I'll take it."
Cami held him tight and he wrapped his arms around them both, and they stood there holding each other, the new little family; a precious secret to be shared.
Emma grew hungry and began to fuss, and her mother sat down to breast feed her. Roman watched in fascination and couldn't believe that anyone would ever have a problem with women breast feeding in public; it looked like the most natural and beautiful thing in the world to him.
Cami looked up at him as he watched her. "There's a good reason for my chest to be bare. Why are you running around your office half naked?" She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
He blushed slightly and walked over to where his shirt was laying on the floor. He bent and picked it up and she didn't stop herself from appreciating his physique as he moved around her. She took a deep breath and tried to keep the memory of the feel of his body against hers out of her mind.
"Well, actually, it's kind of a mess, but part of it is good. Captain Heatherwick, who was on our cruise, is bringing another yacht into the marina today, and he's going to stay on it for a short visit while I decide if I'm going to buy it and then sell it to Senator Johnson. Senator Johnson and his wife Carmen are really interested in buying a yacht from me, and in joining my yacht club.
“My dear wife, whose eyes are always on the social aspect of things, is keen to have them become our new best friends so that she can brag to all and sundry that she is now a close personal confidant of the Senator of the great state of California. Myself, I don't care; I just want to be out on the water."
He pulled th
e shirt on and buttoned it up as he spoke and Cami watched him as he slowly covered his chest, one button at a time. She couldn't help feeling a little disappointed to see him dressing.
Roman continued. "So, in an effort to impress the Senator and his wife, Denise is planning some big bash on the yacht to impress him with her almost non-existent social status and convince him to buy the yacht. Janine, in a bid to save me from the wrath of my persnickety wife, sent me out to buy a new suit for the big bash, as my wife instructed me to do.
“This is that suit. I was trying it on when you came in, and that is why," he tucked the shirt in and pulled the jacket on, leaving the top two buttons on the shirt undone, "I was half dressed when you walked in; or rather, half naked, depending on your perspective of things." He winked at her.
"It's not nice to tease. Behave," she said with a grin at him.
He nodded. "Fair enough."
She burped the baby and as she was patting Emma's back, Cami looked at Roman and said thoughtfully, "You know, when we get a place, I'll want you to come over anytime you like and you can start feeding her, too."
Roman raised one eyebrow. "Uh... I'm not equipped for that." He smiled at her.
Cami laughed out loud at him. "You're too much. I have a breast pump, Roman, I'll pump the milk for her and put it in a bottle and then you can feed her. Daddy duty."
Roman looked excited at the prospect. "Absolutely! I can't wait!" He looked one hundred percent as if he meant every word of it, and he did.
When Cami and Emma left the office that day, after Auntie Janine had taken her turn to hold the baby and play with her, and then deciding that her nickname would be Pip, short for Pipsqueak, Roman watched them leave and realized that there was almost no way that his life could be better. Almost. It was hard to watch Cami leave and feel so confused in his heart about her and about Denise and his marriage vows.
He had no idea how he would explain it to his wife, but somehow, he was sure, he would find a way, and then maybe the nagging pull in his heart for Cami would go away and they could be the friends that they started out being on Captain Heatherwick's beautiful yacht.
Chapter Three
Cami stepped out of Roman's office into the bright San Francisco sunshine, and drew in a huge breath of salty sea air, letting it out of her lungs slowly. She'd been worried about their meeting, wondering what he would think, what he would say, what it would be like after so much time had passed. But it was over and she felt enormously relieved.
Every worry that had plagued her fell away from her body as she breathed out. It had been a tumultuous year. She had met him and liked him on the yacht, but then their new friendship had caught fire so quickly; maybe, it was his lonely heart, maybe it was his beautiful physique, and maybe it was his tender and respectful manner. Maybe it was all of them; she didn't know, but whatever it was, it had turned her world upside down and one sweet moment led to a few hot kisses and the next thing she knew, her weekend fling had changed her life.
It had been two months after her long weekend with him that she had noticed a change in her body. At first, she had shrugged it off as nothing in particular; she thought she'd gotten a bug of some kind, perhaps food poisoning. It could be that she was working too much and not sleeping enough, not eating right and wearing herself thin by trying to do too much.
Then, in the third month, she knew there was something very different, and she had missed enough periods that the nagging little voice in the back of her head told her she had better get checked out because maybe... just maybe? Lo and behold, her worst suspicion had been correct. The thing she kept denying and laughing off; oh no... she told herself... I'm not.... I couldn't possibly be... and then, she was.
Camille cried for four solid days before coming to terms with the fact that she would be bringing a new life into the world. She blamed all her tears on the hormones. Then she thought of Roman, something she’d tried to stop herself from doing several times; every time he came into her mind, as a matter of fact, and he slipped into her thoughts frequently. The look in his eyes, his smile, the smell and feel of his skin, the taste of his burning kiss... and then she would shake her head and try to clear her thoughts of him.
He was married, she would tell herself. It was a one-time fling, she would say. It wasn't anything more than one hot night, so don't lose yourself in him, just cherish the delish memory and let it go. But he had stuck in her, like a tiny thorn that had just barely pierced the exterior of her heart. Little by little, he had worked his way into it, until her heart was sore thinking about him.
She hated that. She knew he should have no place in there at all; and then he had a place much deeper in her. He had a place in her belly where their tiny baby was growing, and when she discovered that secret, nothing in the world could keep him from her mind or her heart any longer.
After she had stopped crying, Cami had wondered whether or not to tell him. At first she was afraid; he was married, he might not remember her, he might not ever want to see her again, he might be angry. A thousand and one thoughts went through her mind. She was alone in chaos, and then as time passed, her fears changed. She still wondered if he should know, but she also wondered how she would manage taking care of a child on her own and still be able to do her art.
She had a good patronage and following, but she would have to have time to paint and sculpt still, time to create and draw inspiration from her muses, and she didn't think she could raise a child on her own and do that.
Cami was lucky; she wasn't totally alone, her mother was willing to help her, but she lived in Seattle, and wouldn't be moving. Cami would have to relocate to Seattle to get help from her mom. Moving to Seattle wasn't an option for her. She had gone through the pregnancy alone until the last month when her mother came to help her for a few weeks. It had been good to have the time with her, and Cami was grateful for the help after her daughter had been born.
Cami's mama, Cicely, had asked whether the father would be in the picture, and Cami hadn't known what to tell her, so she had said no, and left it at that. Cami's mama hadn't asked anything else. There was nothing else to ask.
When Emma was three weeks old, Cicely went back to Seattle and Cami was left with her daughter, facing life as a single mother. The prospects had been challenging, but the thing that really changed her mind about finding Roman was when Emma’s infant eyes settled into their soft brown color. Cami couldn't look at her without seeing Roman, and she knew that she had to tell him. She couldn't let Emma wonder about her father all of her life. Roman was a good man; a truly good man, and Cami had taken a leap of faith in putting all of her hope in a dream.
She wouldn't move to Seattle, but she knew that San Francisco was a place that she could live happily and succeed as an artist. Some of her patrons lived there, and she wouldn't be starting from zero with them. There were galleries there that already showed some of her art, so it would be an easier transition than being in Seattle. What she knew was that she couldn't raise Emma alone, she knew Emma needed to have a chance at knowing both of her parents, and she knew that Roman deserved to at least know about her, so she gathered up all of her courage and took the trip to San Francisco to see what Roman would say.
He wasn't hard to find. Roman Bruce was a well-known name among sea faring companies in San Francisco, and his office was right near his marina. She thought her heart was going to beat right out of her chest the day she walked in and asked for him. The secretary had been nice to her, and hadn't acted like she didn't belong there.
She didn't know how it would go with him, but she knew she had to give it a shot and see. When the door opened and her eyes found him, her heart had gone straight up into her throat and stopped her in her tracks, but with Emma sleeping in her stroller in front of her, she kept her mission at the forefront of her mind, took a deep breath and walked over the threshold.
It hadn't helped that he'd been nude from the waist up. His gorgeous body had been a huge distraction and the reminder that h
e was married became a mantra while she was in the office with him and he got so close to her. She kept repeating it to herself over and over... he's married, he's married... oh God he's so close and he smells so good... and he's married... he is married.
She'd managed somehow to keep all of that inside her and remind him that they were parents of a child and that they should have a platonic relationship. All the while, her body betrayed her, warming up just being around him; her heart palpitating, her breath a little short. He's married.
She focused on Emma, and that had done the trick for her. Remembering that the only reason she was there, and the only reason the two of them should ever have anything to do with each other ever again, was Emma. That had put things into perspective for her faster than anything else had, and it helped keep her heated thoughts of him at bay.
Cami was sure, now that she was outside in the cooler bay air, that given time and a bit of practice, she would be able to be around him without feeling like she had while she was in his office. They had parted almost immediately after an intense intimacy, and that was how it had been left. She thought that maybe with time, they could learn a deeper friendship and make being around each other much simpler.
The Baby Shower Page 101