by Kait Nolan
All right. Jae had him there. However, Dallas refrained from bringing up when Jae’s ex-wife Lacy had hauled ass after their divorce. That had been years ago.
Dallas frowned. As a matter of fact that had been about the time Jae had become a womanizing softball-obsessed workaholic.
“And after the funeral she’ll be going back to New York. I’m not going to get all bent about it.” He twirled the beer in his hand. “Business as usual.”
“Yeah, right. Like I believe that one.”
It was perfectly all right if Jae didn’t believe him. Dallas had a hard time believing himself.
Chapter Five
Sutter’s Mill sat on a bend on a creek of the same name. During the Civil War, the Sutter family used the mill to turn pine trees into building supplies for bridges, dams, and wagons. Over the years it had stayed in the family, but had gone from a working mill to a brewery, and finally a restaurant with both a brewery and winery.
Memories rushed by as she opened the door and walked headlong into her youth. Her last night in Suwannee Grove had been spent here among friends. Promises were made to keep in touch and visit often, but she’d broken her word along with her heart.
She glanced around the dark surroundings, sending the shadows of that long ago night to the deep recesses of her mind. The yeasty scent of fresh beer mixed with the aroma of perfectly seasoned food. Her stomach rumbled, whether with nerves or hunger she wasn’t quite sure. She doubted she could eat even if it was offered for free.
A quick look around the room and she saw no one sitting alone—at least not a man. There were several groups of people all laughing and enjoying their evening. In the corner was a table of women with several bottles of wine in the middle.
Sutter’s offered no hostess to seat its customers, so Shelby found a table near the back of the dining room and sat facing the door. If a single man came in she wanted to be the first to know.
Oh, God. What if he didn’t show? What if he’d stood Lana up more than once? She tried to quiet her emotions without much success. Most of the time she shuffled between complete disbelief and total numbness. The remainder of the time she doubted she thought straight at all.
She let out a breath as the waitress approached her table.
“What can I get you?”
“A Sutter’s Pale Ale.”
“Is that all? Would you like to see a menu?”
“Maybe in a few minutes. I’m waiting on someone.”
The waitress left, and Shelby turned her attention back to the door.
Fifteen minutes and half a beer later, a single man walked in. Her heart dropped, thinking it might be the elusive Rhys. The way he stood with his face in the shadows of the doorway, it was hard to get a good look at him. He was rather tall, and not particularly wide through the shoulders—really kind of average. He scanned the room, starting at the opposite side from where Shelby sat. A frisson of recognition warmed her blood.
Dallas. His gaze slammed into hers and he stilled. His eyes darkened with a look that rammed straight through her. Simultaneous emotions welled, both wishing he’d come closer and hoping he’d leave. A riot of feelings she thought she’d put to rest years ago flooded her veins.
Then the decision was taken out of her hands as he cut through the room and neared her table.
So many memories, regrets, and hopes had been tied to Dallas. He’d waited until the last possible moment before making an effort to show her his feelings. An act she’d never forgiven him for.
His brow was pulled into a frown. “I’m sorry I haven’t been by to see you again. Uncle T.C. called me back to Orlando for an emergency.”
“Really. You don’t need to apologize.”
Dallas slid his hands down into his jeans pockets and looked down at his shoes. “I still feel like I should.”
“Oh.” She glanced around him to the door as a man walked in alone. “Can we take a rain check on this? I was supposed to meet someone.”
A momentary look of confusion passed over his face as she slipped around him on her way to the door.
“Shelby!” Dallas grabbed for her hand, their fingers barely touching.
Fire ignited along her fingertips, turning an innocent touch into so much more. However, it lacked the power to stop her from going to meet a man who might possibly be Rhys. She approached the new arrival in a rush.
“Rhys?”
The man was tall, and broad, but not handsome. The best she could say about him was he had a trustworthy face. “No. I’m afraid I’m not.”
Heat filled her cheeks. “Excuse me. I was supposed to meet someone here. I thought you might be him. I apologize.”
“No.” He smiled then and it transformed him from ordinary to exceptional. “If it’s any consolation, I wish I was.”
Shelby gave a small laugh to cover her embarrassment. “Thank you.”
She turned and slunk back to her seat, feeling like ten times the idiot. Dallas had taken a seat at her table, waiting with his hands folded in front of him and serious expression on his face.
Before sitting down, she placed her hand on the back of her chair. “I thought he might be Lana’s boyfriend.”
Dallas gazed down at his hands. In the dim light it was hard to tell, but if she wasn’t looking at him so closely she might have missed the color that rose in his tanned cheeks.
“What’s wrong?” Shelby took the empty chair across from him.
He glanced up. “I’m sitting here happy as hell to see you again, and hating the reason for it all at the same time.”
Guilt tore at her insides. She should have been a better friend all these years, but the fear of coming home had been much easier to deal with at a distance. In doing so, she’d hurt so many people. Herself included.
She put her hand on his. “I hear you. But this is me; you don’t have to apologize for having human emotions. I understand those all too well.”
He gave her a sideways smile. “Thanks.”
If she allowed it, they’d be back and forth on this all night. She had no intention of beating the horse. “I never asked the other day how your parents are doing?”
“They’re down in the Keys for a couple of weeks while my mother recovers from surgery.”
No wonder they hadn’t been home. Shame for thinking her family was the only one with problems put a lump in her throat. “I hadn’t heard. How is she doing?”
“Slow. It was something to do with her foot. She wanted to go down there and sit on the beach while she recovered. My father thought it was a good idea since she’d be less likely to overdo it while she recovered.” He shook his head. “Forget that right now. You holding together?”
It didn’t look like he’d take the conversational bait to change subjects. “Sometimes I forget to breathe, but other than that…” She let her voice trail off and she gave a shrug. “Lana was the best of the Steeles.”
Dallas placed his other hand on top of hers, cradling it between both of his. Calluses from years of working with his hands gave his palms a rough, lived-in texture. “She was a good woman, but I’ll argue that she was the best.”
Warmth spread through Shelby’s chest, thawing the cold a bit. “Lana never left to strike out on her own.”
“She didn’t have your courage or sense of adventure.”
Before Shelby even realized tears ran down her cheeks, Dallas leaned forward and wiped his thumb underneath both her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I can’t seem to stop. I’ll think of something she did, or we did as kids, and I can’t hold it back.”
“You’re entitled.” The smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I still can’t believe it. Is there anything I can do?”
“Thanks for being here.” Shelby glanced behind her. “Were you supposed to meet someone, too?”
He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. “Supposed to.”
“Looks like we both got stood up. I’m kind of glad.” Saying it, she realized she was glad she didn’t have to deal with Rh
ys. Anger for him simmered too close to the surface. No matter the relationship between Rhys and Lana, her sister had deserved someone who was available both physically and emotionally. She hated to think the last person Lana had given her heart to failed her as well.
Shelby studied the empty space between them. “You didn’t order anything.”
“I hadn’t planned to stay.”
“Will you?”
“Try getting me to leave.” He lifted her hand and placed a chaste kiss on her knuckles. “It’s good to see you again, Shel, even if the reason sucks.”
Maybe she’d give him an out. This might not be his speed for food and beverage, though he had enjoyed coming here years before. “Do you want to go someplace else?”
“No. I like it here. There’s a lot of memories in these walls.”
He spoke the truth. So many memories. Most of them buried in her mind and heart—dreams of her youth for a guy who had treated her as nothing more than a friend while they grew up.
He was so yummy—lying in bed on a rainy Sunday, snuggling and nibbling on each other yummy—and he didn’t even realize it.
A delicious shiver ran down her spine.
Slow it down, girl. You’re not here to start up things that have passed you by.
“Are you seeing anyone?” No! She didn’t just ask that!
“No time. Not with trying to get a new business off the ground.” Dallas leaned in. “How about you? Anyone special in the Big Apple?”
“I own a bistro, what do you think?”
“I think those New York guys are missing out.” His deep hazel gaze captured Shelby’s and she couldn’t look away.
Silence grew between them, tense and intimate. Her insides threatened to ignite.
Why had he always had this effect on her? Of all the men she knew, or had known, Dallas was the one who could have led her anywhere and she’d have followed.
Don’t leave.
He’d said the words, a ragged whisper against her lips. So many nights she’d gone to sleep with them echoing in her ears, tasting them on her tongue.
She placed her hand on his. “I’ve always been partial to country boys.”
“Christ, Shelby. I’ve missed you.”
She swallowed. “I’ve missed you, too.”
They weren’t just words. She’d never admitted her feelings for Dallas to anyone, least of all herself. How much she’d longed to come back, but feared she might look a failure unless she had something to show for her time away.
Pain crossed his face. “Why haven’t you come back? I mean for a visit. It’s been years.”
“First it was out of pure stubbornness, and then it became a matter of putting every waking hour into making the bistro a success. Why didn’t you come to New York for a visit? I understand planes can fly north now.”
“I guess I deserved that.”
Shelby patted his hand under hers. “If it’s any consolation, I would have put you up. No hotel required.”
“Thanks. I think.” He made a face hovering somewhere between confusion and awe.
Heat surfaced, taking a tour through her belly. In all the years they’d known each other, the only time they’d ever stayed in the same house at night had been after Emma had told her the truth. That night she’d run to the Lane’s and fell asleep crying on their sofa. Miss Jess, Dallas’s mother, hadn’t the heart to wake her or make her leave. She’d woken the next morning with Dallas sitting in front of her, worried expression on his face.
She gave him an unsure smile. “I wouldn’t even make you sleep on the sofa.”
“Shel.” He moved his hands in a slow glide up her wrists to her forearms. He pressed his lips together and looked down. Pain etched every line of his face.
~*~
Dallas wanted to die right then and there. Holy hell! He was sitting at Sutter’s Mill with Shelby. He had to bite his tongue to keep from telling her the truth. She hadn’t been stood up.
Oh, yeah, he was a weak man where Shelby was concerned. She’d been his Kryptonite for as long as he could remember. He simply had no defenses.
Shelby really was the most beautiful girl he’d ever known. Eyes the color of a lily pad on the river. Hair the color of fresh honey. She’d worn it up the night of her going away party, much the way it was at the moment. Little tendrils had escaped from the sides, giving her a soft, kind of messy look that drove him insane. No other woman he’d known ever looked quite as touchable as Shelby Steele.
His mouth went dry. He had to work to swallow.
Their hands were sort of twisted together in the middle of the table. He had no intention of moving his. In all the years they’d known each other, he’d never held her hand. Not for any length of time, and not for more time than it took to pull her in a certain direction when they were walking somewhere.
For years he’d thought she had a thing for Asa. He’d witnessed the way they were together too many times to assume anything but that she’d crushed on him. Easy. Flirty. Carefree. Words seemed to flow between the two of them and Dallas always sat there like the damn third wheel on a bicycle and tried to think of something clever to say.
He still hadn’t come up with anything.
Now here he was with her all to himself again and his tongue was as tied and twisted as it had been in high school.
She let out a sigh and took her hand and rested her chin on it. “Do you still play softball?”
Good neutral territory and a subject near and dear to his heart. “Are you kidding? If I didn’t play Asa would have my ass handed to me.”
“You still play for Stark Fixtures?”
“Of course. A man doesn’t just give up the first softball team he ever played for. Not and live in Suwannee Grove.” Around here the softball games were not only rites of passage, but the cornerstone of the community. Everything that happened in Suwannee Grove centered on the softball season.
“I’ve been to a few major league games and some minors. New York is big on baseball.”
Dallas couldn’t help but laugh. “I suppose they would be, right?”
“When you have both the Yankees and Mets in your backyard, yeah. It’s a baseball town.” Shelby’s gaze strayed over to the door.
Dallas turned to look as a guy walked in alone. The man scanned the room, looking for someone.
Shelby pulled her hand away from his. “Let me go ask this guy if he’s my sister’s mystery boyfriend.”
“He’s not.”
Shelby eyed him. “How do you know? I thought you said you hadn’t spoken to Lana in a while?”
“Look at him. Does he look like someone Lana would date?” Not that the guy was scrapings from the bottom of the dude barrel, but he didn’t have that polished, professional appearance he’d assume Lana might go for.
Shelby shrugged. “I don’t have any idea if she’d ever met him in person. There’s speculation that—” She broke off as a group of people in the corner started waving to the man to come join them. She sat down with a defeated slump to her shoulders. “I guess you’re right.”
Damn, he hated seeing her worry like this. Indecision rolled around in his belly knocking up against his conscience. If Lana hadn’t told her family about signing up for the app, she didn’t want them to know. And for his part, his silence was bound by law.
“You’re going to drive yourself crazy,” he warned.
“I just think if he cared about my sister, he’d have tried to contact her in the last few days, or shown up at the funeral home.” She gave a small shrug. “I mean when I texted him earlier he gave his condolences, but that’s what I’d expect from anyone, including a stranger.”
“People handle grief in different ways. Don’t think too harshly about him for standing you up.”
Shelby rested her chin on her hand again. “I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s not going to change anything or bring her back.”
Dallas ran his hand up her arm to rest on her shoulder. “I wish there was something I could do
for you. Take the pain away.”
She gave him a reluctant smile. “I’m glad you’re here. It’s good to see you.”
He let a breath out and let a feeling of calm come over him. For now they were just two old friends catching up. Let Rhys die with Lana. He’d never have to resurrect that character again.
Chapter Six
Shelby arrived at the funeral home with an arm full of yellow roses. They were wrapped in a presentation that would have made a prom queen weep. Only the best for her sister. The card she’d handwritten and stuck down in her pocket. When she left the flowers by the casket, she’d slide the card into Lana’s hand to stay with her forever. A final goodbye between two sisters who had remained close despite the miles—even if one of them kept secrets.
Damn Rhys agreeing to meet her then not showing. After she’d said goodnight to Dallas, she’d gone back to Lana’s apartment and sat in the dark, composing a scathing text to him in her head. In the end she’d not sent it. Dallas had it right when he said people grieved in their own way. Maybe Rhys wanted and needed some privacy.
Judging from the texts between Lana and him, they weren’t particularly close yet. His absence might mean he didn’t want to intrude on the family’s mourning. Still, he could have at least texted her on Lana’s phone and let her know he’d changed his mind about coming. Silence might be golden, but it answered very few questions.
Mourners began to arrive in earnest. The chapel of the funeral home began to fill. Why they’d not had the service at Suwannee Grove Church of Christ where her family had attended since before World War I she had no idea. If the family thought they were hiding the fact Lana committed suicide from their friends, doing something so contrary to tradition was not going to do anything but make people ask questions. Granted, the funeral home was closer to Jacintha’s farm than the church, but still.
Shelby left the roses beside the casket, taking out one pale yellow bloom to lie across her sister’s chest. Quickly, she tucked the note into Lana’s hand and closed her eyes, saying a small prayer to have the strength to get through the next few hours.