by Kait Nolan
The pace was definitely slower. She had room to spread her arms and walk barefoot in the grass. Then again, the family hadn’t been quite forgiving since she’d arrived. Maybe they’d like for her to stay gone. Stacked up against Lana’s memory, Shelby was a huge disappointment. Good thing about living so far away was if she disappointed anyone, it was only herself. No others need ever know.
In the end, what did she have to lose by staying the night at Jacintha’s house? Her pride maybe, but that was a small price to pay to maybe find some answers.
Decision made, she leaned back on the mossy ground and closed her eyes, letting the tension run out with the burble of the river.
Chapter Eight
The guests had been gone for hours. Only a small knot of volunteers remained to clean up the yard and put things back to rights. Shelby stood in the kitchen putting leftovers away in the industrial freezer. On any given day, Jacintha fed over twenty employees. She believed it her duty to give them food while they worked. Late breakfast breaks and a mid-afternoon lunch were provided Monday through Friday. On the weekends, things were a bit more free-flowing and set out as a buffet.
Employees who worked for Steele Farms stayed for years. The turnover rate was low and always had been—even before Jacintha’s tenure as owner. That loyalty of employees toward Jacintha spoke of how fair she was to those who worked for her. It hadn’t been that way with her family.
For those who shared her blood, Jacintha Steele was harsh, exacting, and strict. She didn’t believe in giving an inch to meet a person halfway. To her, an upper hand was a powerful one, and that’s the way she liked it.
Given that scenario, Shelby wondered once again why she’d agreed to stay. Curiosity and dead cats were never among her favorite things.
A knock sounded on the kitchen door a second before it opened and Dallas stepped inside. “I finished putting the tables and chairs in the shed.”
“’K.”
He rubbed his hands together and stood just inside the door, body stiff and manner hesitant. He cast his gaze around as if looking for Jacintha. “I’m going to take off.”
“’K.”
He ran a hand over his jaw. The five o’clock shadow made a sexy, scraping sound against his palm. “Did I piss you off somehow? Cause I get the distinct impression you’re mad and I have no idea what I did.”
Shelby tucked her hair behind her ear. “Nothing. It’s been a long, emotionally draining day.”
He let out a heavy breath. “Yeah. Okay. Are you still coming to the softball tournament tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
“Try not to make my head spin with the enthusiasm there.”
“What time does the game start?”
“Stark Fixtures plays in the second game. Anytime after twelve. If you come early we can watch Cantwell’s Grocery go up against Dunnenfield Tires.”
“Sure. Fine.”
Dallas stood there rubbing his face. When she thought he’d turn and walk out, he crossed the kitchen to her, and cupped her cheek with his large palm. “I wish I could take your grief away.”
“It’s going to take a long time.” If she only knew the reason for Lana’s decision, she might be able to start to heal. One day. Maybe. Not now though, the wound was still too fresh to do anything more than roam around in a trance thinking she’d wake up.
Heels over hardwood came from the front of the house, moving in a steady tap toward the kitchen. Dallas peeked around the corner again.
“Here comes Miss Jacintha. She’ll want to see my back end out of here.”
Shelby gave a brief smile, thinking how Jacintha had checked out Dallas earlier. “In more ways than one.”
Red stole across his cheeks. “She’s your grandmother and I’m not touching that one.”
She leaned up and brushed her mouth against his. A friendly kiss to say thank you for being there for her today even if she was slightly moody. “Thanks.”
His gaze traveled over her face, then lowered to her mouth. Air in the kitchen became dense as honey, hard to breathe through. Then his mouth was on hers. More than a brush, less than a full kiss. He gave her a taste of promises left unsaid then dropped his hand and took a step back. “See you tomorrow.”
Words failed her. She put her fingers to her lips and nodded.
With that he left right as Jacintha came in the other door.
“Was Dallas just leaving?”
Shelby turned to the sink and dishwasher, getting ready to load up what few dishes were left after she’d put food away. “He stayed to help put away the tables and chairs.”
“Nice of him.”
“He’s a nice guy. Always has been.”
“That wasn’t a condemnation.” Jacintha made a face. “Come away from there. The dishes will keep until later.”
“There are only a few. It will only take me a minute then I’m all yours.”
An odd expression came to Jacintha’s stern features. She seemed softer, caring, then it was gone. “Very well. I’ll be in the parlor.”
How long could she linger over a few plastic serving bowls and casserole crocks? If she did linger it would be seen as avoidance. She’d come this far, she might as well learn why Jacintha wanted her to stay the night—especially after not giving her so much as the time of day in New York.
She dried her hands on a dish towel, then hung it over the rack to dry.
As promised, Jacintha sat in the parlor, a glass of gin and tonic in her hand. The stereo played instrumentals from the 1940s, though Jacintha had spent her youth in the 1960s.
Shelby entered the room and took a seat in the chair across from the sofa where Jacintha sat. “So how do you want to do this? Just dive in and give me the old what-for, or do you want to work your way up to it?”
Jacintha rolled her eyes heavenward. “With your sense of drama you should have auditioned for the stage, not opened a bistro.”
“I don’t know. I have a lot of celebrity chefs endorsing my place.”
Jacintha placed her drink on the end table with a click. “I’m very proud of you, Shelby. You had a vision and you made it happen.”
“Not initially. I kind of grew into the bistro scene. Spent a lot of time in the Village, taking a class here and there. There was this cute little cafe on La Guardia Place that I sat in to read and do homework. The smells of the baking bread and fresh pasta was enough to make a person gain weight. The owners were a sweet couple who treated me like family.”
Jacintha leveled her gaze. “You had family.”
“Not up there. Lana only came to visit a few times, when her schedule allowed. And you…” Shelby trailed off and dipped her shoulder. She glanced away, unable to meet Jacintha’s gaze.
For the first time she noticed a framed picture on the wall. Watercolor on newsprint. Child-sized hands dipped in paint and placed on the paper to create flowers. Shelby closed her eyes. She remembered making that in kindergarten and giving it to Jacintha one Sunday after church. Mother’s Day was it?
She’d forgotten all about it. Never in a million years would she have ever expected it to hang in a prominent place in the parlor. Shelby pointed to it. “It fits in here. The colors are right.”
“I remember the look on your little face when you gave it to me. You were so proud. How could I not frame it?”
Tightness filled Shelby’s chest. “Why didn’t you come to see me when you were in New York?”
“And give you a chance to reject me publicly? No thank you. I’d never have lived down the pain or shame of that meeting.”
Shelby rose and knelt down in front of Jacintha. “Do you honestly believe I would have done that to you? I would have been surprised to see you there, but I would have been glad you’d made the effort.”
Jacintha looked uncomfortable. She placed her hand on Shelby’s head, touching her hair. “I know I’m not an easy person to love or even like for that matter. I’ve been told, quite often, by your father that I expect too much and give too littl
e to those whom I share blood. He’s right, but somehow it hasn’t changed or mellowed me any. My only defense is that I’m a product of how I was raised. Your great-grandparents were extremely regimented in their behavior.”
“That must have prepared you for marrying into the Steele clan.”
“Best training I could have ever gotten, though I will say, compared to the Bueforts the Steeles were amateurs.”
Which explained why the Steele lands flourished under Jacintha’s tenure. Knowing her grandmother, when she agreed to marry William Steele, she’d probably thrown herself headlong into learning everything there was to know about farming.
“You have more of the Buefort blood in your veins than you’ve ever had Steele. And that’s a compliment.” Jacintha picked up her drink and took a sip. Her mouth pinched in at the corners when she swallowed. She set the drink aside again. “Unfortunately Lana was more of a Steele. She didn’t possess that aggressive edge you and I share.”
Shelby frowned and rose. “What are you saying?”
“Your sister had her problems. Ones she tried to overcome, but she was always much too hard on herself.”
Disbelief had Shelby sitting back down again before her knees buckled. Did Jacintha know something more about Lana’s situation before the suicide? “Are you sure we’re talking about the same Lana? The sister I remember never made a misstep or a false start.”
“And she loved you so much.”
“I’m not sure I know what you’re trying to say.”
Jacintha brushed her hand as if she could magically erase the words from the air. “Nothing of significance. I have no more knowledge or insights into Lana’s state of mind than you do. I only want you to know that if you spend your life thinking you don’t measure up to your sister, you are wrong. You were different people. Never judge yourself on the standards of another. And absolutely never let Emma Steele dictate the path of your life.”
Shelby let out a pained snort. “Why couldn’t you have said this to me years ago? When I needed to hear it the most.”
“Would you have believed me? Would you have listened to anyone? You were already so hurt and angry and hell-bent on leaving.” Jacintha shook her head. “You don’t know how hard I had to fight with your father to let you go.”
Shelby’s jaw dropped. “What?”
“You heard me.” Jacintha picked up her drink again. “In the end he saw reason, though it broke his heart.”
Who would have ever thought Jacintha was her biggest ally? “And here I thought no one even cared if I left.”
“Child, how could you ever believe that? Just because we didn’t make a fuss didn’t mean we weren’t hurt or concerned. However, I understood what everyone but Lana didn’t: you wouldn’t have been happy here if we forced you to stay.”
Shelby burned with regret and a bit of renewed anger. “They let me leave here with nothing but the thousand dollars Lana gave me.”
“Not entirely true, but close enough.”
“Why?”
“While on the surface it seems cruel, you were determined to stand on your own two feet. How were you to achieve that goal if we funneled money to you?” Jacintha held a finger in the air. “Lana was authorized to make funds available to you from an account I’d set aside for your benefit, if you asked. But not until.”
“You knew I wouldn’t ask.”
“I suspected, but wasn’t sure. I wouldn’t have let you go without some kind of safety net in place. The money is still in the account, gathering interest.” Jacintha reached into the little drawer of the end table and pulled out a savings book. “Here. Take it. It’s yours.”
Shelby shook her head. “I don’t need it.”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s a gift. One that’s been yours all along.”
When she wouldn’t take it, Jacintha rose and set it on the table beside her. “Don’t be stubborn. It’s unbecoming.”
“Didn’t you just hint that it was what made me successful?”
“There is a time and place for stubbornness and it isn’t while your grandmother is attempting to bestow a gift on you.”
A reluctant smile pulled at Shelby’s lips. “Bestow?”
“You speak your way, I’ll speak mine.”
Shelby looked at the savings book. Lana had never even hinted there was money set aside. So unlike her. But then Lana had probably known Shelby wouldn’t have taken the money if offered. A thousand dollars to get settled was one thing, more than that was not standing on her own. Still, she’d quickly found friends who had given her a job. A cheap apartment to rent with roommates. None of whom she’d known before throwing her stuff in a corner of the tiny bedroom and declaring herself moved in.
“What if I had gotten into trouble up there? What would you have done?” Amazing how vows to ask those kinds of questions were broken. Bricks in a wall tumbling down at the first rumbles of an earthquake.
“Depends on the trouble.” Jacintha gave an elegant shrug. “If you were to have lost your place to live or fallen into league with the criminal element, I would have brought you home kicking and screaming. I felt reasonably confident you would do neither of those things, though losing a place to live is not always the fault of a bad tenant.”
“How would you have known?”
Jacintha merely gave Shelby a pleased smile but didn’t answer.
“You were having me watched.”
“A bit. Nothing unsavory, I assure you.”
All the times she’d thought herself lucky or that divine providence had smiled on her, was that Jacintha pulling strings? Now she’d never trust anything she’d accomplished.
“Oh, get that look off your face. I didn’t interfere. I watched. There is a big difference between the two.”
How did Jacintha know what she was thinking? She’d have to watch herself more closely—guard her facial expressions. Still, it was nice to know Grandma Warbucks hadn’t spread cash around to make things go Shelby’s way. It would have made her life feel unauthentic. If there was one thing she could boast about, it was that she lived her life knowing herself. She never pretended to be someone or something she wasn’t, and expected the same honesty and integrity from others.
“Do you mind if I go up to bed? I’m tired and it’s been a long day.”
“No. Go ahead. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Shelby started out of the room when she turned and headed back to Jacintha. She bent down and placed a kiss on her warm cheek. “Thank you.”
Surprise lifted Jacintha’s brows then she smiled and dipped her head in the direction of the stairs.
Shelby got ready for bed, replaying the conversation in her head. Each topic change had to be dissected, pulled apart, and studied with a microscope. Had she missed double meanings or hidden clues along the way? What was that bit about Lana? Whether or not they were alike or different was completely immaterial now. Was it more of a way to feel Shelby out and ensure she didn’t harbor some secret agenda to end her life as well? Rest assured, if she’d not contemplated it when discovering Emma was not her real mother and her entire family had lied to her, she wasn’t about to do so now years later.
~*~
Dallas stood out on his back porch, a beer pressed to his mouth. He hadn’t taken a sip yet. His gaze was locked across his yard, watching as someone crossed the grass in the dark. Judging from the width of the shoulders, and height, it was Asa.
“There’s a beer in the fridge with your name on it.”
“Good. I could use one.” Asa appeared in the illuminated circle of the porch light. “It’s been a real shit of a day.”
“You can say that again.” Dallas took a swig of the beer as Asa climbed up on the porch and straight through the door and into the kitchen.
Sounds came from inside. The refrigerator opened and closed, suction from a bottle cap being popped, footsteps, the door creaked on rusty hinges. Asa took a place next to Dallas, looking out over the yard.
“Thanks for the beer,
Dallas. Or should I call you Rhys?” Asa glanced over with a brow cocked and concerned expression.
A sinking feeling lowered Dallas’s shoulders. “Oh, man. How do you know?”
“Seriously?”
“Sorry. I didn’t think you’d find out. As a matter of fact I didn’t think anyone would. Not even Lana.” Dallas moved back and dropped down into one of the Adirondack chairs. “Do me a favor and don’t let Shelby know I’m Rhys. I spent the entire evening last night sitting with her in Sutter’s waiting for him to show. I’d hate like hell for her to find out he was sitting across from her.”
“So why didn’t you just tell her the truth? You were working for a company that sells virtual matches for a phone app. What’s the big deal?” Asa turned and sat down in the chair beside Dallas.
“Big deal is a little piece of paper I signed when I got hired saying I’d keep my mouth shut. Besides, just let Rhys die with Lana. Her reasons for buying the app are her own. Dredging it all up isn’t going to help her now.”
Asa held the neck of the beer bottle between his knees and hunched over. “I don’t know. I think I’d look into seeing if that still covers now she’s dead. Because believe me, Shelby is going to find out one of these days and she’s going to tear a strip a mile wide off you.”
Dallas leaned back in the chair, hands on his head. “She’s going back to New York. Out of reach again. I won’t have much to worry about.”
A long silence grew, save for the insects raising holy hell from the bushes and trees.
“Shit, bud. Not again.” Asa glanced over. “I should have known you’d fall.”
“I never stopped.” Truth of the matter, there had been a lot a women over the years, but none of them ever measured up to what he’d felt for Shelby—had always felt for her. A guy just never got over loving someone so much, even if it had never panned out.
“I hear you.”
“She promised to come to the game tomorrow.” He threw it out there as if it meant she’d stay in Suwannee Grove. If he thought she’d change her mind and move home, he deluded himself. No sense raising his hopes—not knowing it lead straight to heartbreak.