In a daze, she found herself at her assistant’s desk, then in the elevator, then out the door. It was pouring rain as Philip hailed a cab and eased her inside. She barely noticed his arm go around her, or how he grasped her hand. All she could think about was Linc, in the hospital, unconscious.
Finally Grand Central Station came into view. She bolted out of the car with Philip right behind her. Once inside, the loudspeaker and buzz of people jolted her; Philip purchased her ticket for the next train, which was due in five minutes.
Thank God , she caught herself saying.
Yeah, some God. Where the hell was he when his most devoted follower in the whole world needed him?
But the accusation rang false, for some reason.
She bade Philip goodbye and boarded the train to Glen Oaks.
Seated by a window, she stared out sightlessly as the city scrolled by. Suddenly, she was seized by a panic, a fear she had never known before, not even in her worst times as a child.
Think about God, please , Linc had asked.
So, for only the second time in her entire life, she whispered the words, Please, God…
Chapter 23
*
ANNIE WAS RUNNING on automatic pilot, just as she had when Joe left town and she was forced to deal with the reality of her life. Now, reality was that Linc was still unconscious and the ramifications of that could be brutal.
She stared out the window as the rain came down in sheets, preparing herself. Danny had died. It did happen. Linc could die. She glanced across the room at Beth, who sat curled up on the couch like a little girl, her legs under her, her head resting on her hands. Her plain white sweater accented her pallor, and Annie ludicrously noted her jeans were still damp. Annie had retrieved jeans and a flannel shirt for herself from her car when she’d gone to park it in a long-term lot.
Her friend had been so strong through Danny’s death, through Ronny’s legal problems. But Annie knew this would push her over the edge. Linc was her rock, her lifeline. He was that to all of them. How would any of them survive without him? Oh, God, when Margo got here, it would be worse. She loved Linc so much.
“Beth? Annie?”
Pivoting, Annie saw her ex-husband standing in the doorway. His head beaded with water, his belted raincoat wet, he was frowning, and his shoulders were stiff.
For some reason, her eyes misted at seeing him. “Hi.”
“I just heard.” He crossed to Beth. Kneeling down in front of her, he grasped her hands. “How you holding up, honey?”
Beth nodded. Her expression was so bleak Annie’s stomach clenched. “Okay.”
As Annie stared at them, Joe leaned over and, in a totally natural gesture like he might bestow on his sister, kissed her head. He stood, gave her shoulder a squeeze and crossed to Annie. “You all right?”
Wrapping her arms around her waist, she swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“What happened? All I heard was Linc was here and he was seriously hurt.”
Annie asked, “How did you hear?”
“Rosa canceled an appointment with Carol Lopez. She told Carol she was at the hospital and why.”
“Rosa’s not out in the waiting area?”
“No, no one was out there except for that janitor that works at the church. He looks a little lost.”
“The women must have gone for coffee.”
“Annie, what happened?”
Shaking away her distraction, she said, “Apparently Sam DeMartino attacked Linc at the church during one of the women’s group’s meetings.”
“Sam?” Joe’s healthy complexion turned ashen. “Oh, God.” He got the meaning loud and clear. And he’d be affected by it in a different way than anyone else here. “What are Linc’s injuries?”
“Sam’s a big guy…” Annie straightened. “He hit his head and went unconscious. They’re doing tests now. And his arm’s broken.”
Taking in a heavy breath, Joe scowled. “Poor Linc.”
Again, Annie felt her eyes tear. Joe must have seen it. Reaching out as easily as he had to Beth, he squeezed her hand. She froze, and when he realized what he’d done—that he’d touched her for the first time since his return—he went to draw back his hand. But she held on. Squeezed tightly. “I’m so scared, Joe.”
“Me, too.”
“I don’t know what everybody’ll do if…” She shook her head, then drew back and wrapped both of her arms around her waist again. “It’s amazing how important people become to us. How we take them for granted.” Joe just nodded. She glanced at Beth and whispered, so her friend couldn’t hear, “Remember when we were here for Danny?”
Joe swallowed hard. “It was a horrible night.”
“He died in this hospital.”
Her ex-husband’s gaze was stark. She remembered how he had cried like a baby when his friend had died. They all had. And for months afterward, the bleakness had not left Joe’s gray eyes. She studied him, now. “Do you pray?”
“Yes, I pray.”
“Good. Linc would want us to.”
“Yes, he…” Joe’s words trailed off as someone came to the doorway.
It was Margo. Always so tall, so strong, so full of sass, today she looked slight and brittle, her hair and raincoat wet and her face chalk white. “Bethy? Annie?”
Unfolding from the chair, Beth stood up. Both Annie and Joe faced Margo.
She said, “How is…you look so…did he…”
“No, Margo,” Annie put in quickly. “There’s no more word on him. He’s still down for tests.”
Bonelessly, Margo gripped the doorjamb, leaned into it. Annie rushed to her, as did Beth. The three women hugged. No one spoke. Not one of them cried. They just stood there locked in an awful embrace.
IT was stupid to go. Tucker knew he couldn’t help her, shouldn’t help her, might even make things worse. But he couldn’t stay away. As he entered the ER, he glanced at the clock over the nurse’s station. One P.M. He’d just stay a minute, find out how Linc was, and leave before Ronny got back from his field trip. Tucker wouldn’t steal too much of Beth’s time or attention.
Doc had called Tucker at eleven o’clock, but he’d been working out and hadn’t gotten the message until after he’d showered. The Menace had made the half-hour ride to Glen Oaks Hospital in seventeen minutes. By the time he’d gotten here, he was near-about crazy with worry.
He found them in the family waiting area. For a minute he was frozen by the scenario—Margo and Annie holding hands on a couch, talking softly. Joe sat near Beth, his arm loosely draped around her. Neither of them spoke, but their closeness was that of a family. And Tucker was an interloper.
Joe noticed him first. “Tucker?”
Beth’s head snapped up.
“I…um…Doc called me.” He shrugged. “I just wanted to…is there any news?”
Standing, Joe crossed to him and filled him in on the vigil they’d been keeping. Tucker listened, but his eyes kept straying to Beth, who stared at him during the recitation.
When Joe was finished, Tucker focused on him. “Thanks for the information. I don’t want to intrude on y’all. I reckon I’ll just wait out here with the others.” With a toss of his head, he indicated the large area where the nurse had told him several people from church were also gathered.
He’d stepped out the door when he heard, “Tucker?” Beth’s voice was as rough as sandpaper.
Swallowing hard, he pivoted back around.
She’d stood. She looked so small and fragile he ached real bad with the need to take her to him, protect her, shield her. She said, “Stay. Here. With me.”
Oh, God. He crossed to her, came close. She peered up at him, her arms wrapped around her waist as if she could keep the emotion inside, the fear from clawing out. He reached over and circled his hand around her neck. She leaned toward him, put her forehead on his chest. And then she was in his arms. Burying her face in his sweatshirt. Clutching at the fleece. Burrowing into him like a hurt child shutting out the world.
He held her tight, kissed her hair, oblivious to anything but the driving need to comfort her. She began to cry and he was reminded of their private joke…. We both turn into blubberin’ babies around each other.
With gentle care, he drew small circles on her back, kissed her hair again, whispered nonsense words. All the while, he thought only, Please, God, don’t let her lose Linc, too. Please.
It took Tucker a minute to remember he didn’t believe in prayer. But right at the moment, he didn’t care. He prayed his heart out just in case.
*
AT TWO O’CLOCK Doctor Jacobs finally returned to the family waiting room. Behind him, the five women from the group had come from the outer area and huddled in the doorway to hear his news.
From where they sat in the corner, Beth let go of her death grip on Tucker’s hand and stood. Annie put down her coffee cup and rose from the chair, and Margo uncurled from the couch where she’d sat with Joe and stood, too. The three women converged in the center of the room, Margo and Annie flanking Beth. They grasped hands as if that was the only way they could face the doctor. Joe was reminded of their childhood, and how they’d endured the trials of growing up with only each other, and the guys, there for them. The Outlaws against the world.
“Good news,” Jacobs said right away. “He’s going to be all right.”
Beth’s knees buckled and Margo and Annie held her up. “All right?”
“Yes.” The doctor drew off wire-rimmed glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “He regained consciousness during the CAT scan, which, by the way, revealed no damage to his brain.”
“Why did he pass out?” Beth asked.
“He must have hit his head just right. What we were concerned about was the length of the unconsciousness, but he’s lucid, and talking.”
“How is he?” This from Annie.
The corners of the doctor’s mouth curved up. “Worried about everybody else. Started barking orders that he wanted to see all of you” —Jacobs scanned the room— “and someone named Rosa.”
In the doorway, Rosa gasped and put her hand to her mouth.
“He’s trying to take care of us.” Annie shook her head.
“Yes, well, he’s going to have a hard time doing that. He’s run down to begin with, and with his broken arm, people are going to need to take care of him for a while.”
Joe could see that Beth was shaking. But, true to form, good old Bonnie surfaced and she tossed back her hair. “I’ll take care of him for as long as he needs. Can I see him?”
“Yes. He’s been brought up to a room. I want to keep him here for a few days, but he can have visitors.” Jacobs smiled. “I can’t tell you how glad I am it turned out this way. Linc helped my youngest daughter through that Community Council of his. Really turned her life around.”
“He’s a wonderful man.” Annie was smiling now. That was good to see. Though she’d pulled through for Beth in the crisis, Joe could tell the toll it took on her. Foolishly he wished he could help her in the aftermath, when she’d probably break down. As the doctor turned to leave, she and Beth started for the door.
Beth glanced over at Tucker, who stood by the window. He winked at her. “Go see your brother, babe.”
The smile she gave back was full of gratitude—and love. Joe shook his head and wondered briefly what would happen to them.
Beth’s gaze swung to Joe. “Come with us?”
“No, you three go on ahead. I want to talk to Tucker a minute. I’ll be up later.”
Annie started to say something to him, but her attention was diverted to Margo, who’d broken away from the trio; she crossed to the couch and picked up her coat and purse.
“What are you doing?” Annie asked.
“I’m not coming up to see Linc.” Margo’s words were stark. Her body was as rigid as a mannequin’s.
“ What?” Beth’s look was incredulous.
“You heard me. I’m not going up.”
“Why?”
“I have my reasons.”
Beth strode to her and grabbed her hand. “Oh, Margo, don’t do this. Don’t cut yourself off.”
Joe remembered something from long ago. When Margo was thirteen, her father left town. He was married to someone else, not Margo’s mother, and the man had taken his other daughter, and wife, away from Glen Oaks. Margo had disappeared for three days, and Linc had been crazy with worry until he found her.
Brusquely, Margo shook off Beth’s hands. “I’m fine. You guys go up. I’ll call you later.”
Before anyone could react, she swept through the door.
“I’ll go after her,” Joe said, rising.
“Don’t.” Annie’s voice was firm. “Let her handle this in her own way.”
Though it went against every instinct he had, Joe nodded. The women left to go see Linc.
From by the window, Tucker stared after them. “Nothin’s easy, is it?”
“You can say that again.” Joe sighed and sank onto a chair. “It sure as hell isn’t.”
*
MARGO HAD PRAYED during the interminable vigil they’d kept, waiting for news of Linc. It had felt foreign and stupid, but she did it, just in case. For Linc. She’d even tried to make a deal with his God. She’d leave Linc alone, not try to corrupt him anymore, if God would just let him be okay. She’d follow through on that, even though she didn’t really believe God had listened to her. And she wouldn’t tell Linc about her lapse. He’d be too glad, too encouraging. She didn’t feel right about what she’d done, about talking to God after so long.
The only thing that mattered was that Linc was going to be fine.
The streets of Glen Oaks were gray and foggy, as the rain had dwindled to a fine mist. Her hood up, her hands in her pockets, she sidestepped a giant puddle in front of Zip’s Bar and Grill and let her shoulders relax. How stupid to pray. It would have been more in keeping with her outlook to have made her deal with the Devil.
You don’t really think there’s a devil, do you?
Margo halted in the middle of the sidewalk. Then she laughed at herself, but the sound was hollow and mirthless. Now she was hearing voices. She was really losing it. She had to get out of this town.
You’ve gotten pretty good at running away, Mary Margaret.
Again, she halted. “Jesus Christ,” she whispered.
Yes?
Oh, great, the crushing fear, the undiluted terror was making her delusional. Making her hear voices.
Margo, Margo, Margo, you’re not delusional. I’ve decided it’s time we had a little talk.
Okay, she could play this game with her mind. Yeah, and you are…?
You know who I am. You just prayed to me.
Stop it!
I’m Linc’s God, Margo.
Fine, go keep Linc company.
I just did.
Like hell. If you really existed you would have kept him from getting hurt in the first place.
I work in mysterious ways.
So I’ve heard.
You prayed to me.
Did I? I don’t remember
You said if Linc would be all right, you’d leave him alone.
Ah, so that was it. He was calling in her marker. I will leave him alone. Now go away.
I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you, this time. You’re my child, too.
Margo stopped. Stamped her foot. Don’t tell me that.
All right. Listen to this one. I want you and Linc together.
She started walking again. Give me a break.
I’ll give you more than that.
No, thanks. I don’t want anything from you.
It doesn’t work that way, Margo.
What? Gifts from God aren’t declinable?
Something like that.
Leave me alone.
Never. Go to Linc. It’s your way back to me.
No.
Trust me, Margo.
On a cold day in hell.
Hmm. That can be arranged.
SERENE, AND JUST a little woozy from the drugs they were pumping into him, Linc smiled up at his sister. “Don’t hover, Bethy, I’m all right.”
Beth nodded, drew on that inner strength she’d honed for years, and then stepped back from his hospital bed where she’d gripped his hand like a lifeline. She sank onto a straight chair.
Annie came up and kissed his cheek. “Hey, buddy.”
He squeezed her shoulder with his good hand and she took a seat on the other side of his bed.
Oh, Lord, how was he going to function with this cast for six weeks? He didn’t even know how he’d broken his arm. “I got a question.”
Beth nodded.
“What happened to Sam? One minute he was on top of me, then he was gone.” Linc remembered the sickening blast of pain when DeMartino had slammed his head into the floor, then the man was miraculously off him.
“I talked to Rosa when we were waiting.” A pretty smile flirted with Annie’s lips. “Henry Portman dragged Sam off you and literally threw him out of the church.”
“Henry?”
Beth smiled. “Who would have guessed?”
Linc laughed out loud then clutched his ribs. “Ohh.” At their worried looks, he waved away the concern. “Henry was in Vietnam. Of course, he never told me much about it…”
“Anita said he was a regular commando.” Annie smiled. “Guess God knew what he was doing when He had you keep Henry on at church. By the way, Henry’s here at the hospital, too.”
“Really? Still?”
“I think so. With all the women in your group.”
“You should let them come up.”
“We will.” Beth and Annie exchanged worried glances. “What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“’Fess up. Belle and Bonnie still can’t lie to their fearless leader.” He scowled. “I’m not sicker than the doc said, am I?”
“No, of course not.” Beth smiled. “I remember our pact, Jesse.” Long ago, when they realized they had only each other to depend on, they’d promised never to withhold any truth from one another. At least they could count on that.
“Then what?”
“Margo’s here. Or at least she was.”
At first he was surprised. “Was I that critical?”
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