by Jilly Cooper
Unable to face anyone, she jumped off the rostrum, handed Francis his violin, leapt off the stage, stumbling as she landed, then racing up the gangway, pushed through the swing doors out into the park. Seeing her face deathly pale and still wet with tears as she ran down the High Street, the shoppers parted to let her through. Cars screeched to a halt as she bolted across the road, drawn helplessly towards the lake.
Following her in his car, Viking caught up with her as the town gave way to fields.
‘Well done,’ he yelled out of the window. ‘D’you want a drink?’
But Abby was completely dazed, unable to speak, gazing at him with huge, haunted reddened eyes.
‘We all walked out of the union meeting,’ he said gently. ‘We were glad to get shot of the bastard, none of us liked him. You’ve won, sweetheart.’
THIRTY-SIX
The next morning, George Hungerford received a letter of no confidence in Lionel as leader, and upheld Abby’s decision to sack him. Hilary, Steve Smithson, Carmine, Juno, Militant Moll and Ninion (who was still smarting over Catherine Jones getting the big solo in Rachel’s Requiem) were the only members of the orchestra who didn’t sign.
Although it was RSO policy that its musicians were not allowed to talk to the Press, George caught Cherub on the telephone to the Evening Standard diary.
‘Yes, we called Lionel the Incredible Sulk,’ he was saying in his shrill voice, ‘because he sulked all the time. What did he sulk about? Well, people nicking his hairdryer mostly. Can I think of anything nice about him? That’s a tricky one,’ Cherub scratched his blond curls and after a long silence, ‘not really… oh, yes I can.’
‘That’s enough,’ George pressed the cut-off button, then out of curiosity, asked, ‘what was the nice thing you remembered about Lionel?’
‘That his brother was much worse,’ said Cherub, going off into such giggles that George had to join in.
All the same the RSO were left without a leader. The post was hastily advertised and leaders applied from all over the world. Many expected to have their air fares paid. Others crept surreptitiously into auditions hoping no-one would recognize them and sneak to their respective orchestras, or later know they had suffered the humiliation of not being offered the job. It was a laborious, expensive process. Miles and Mrs Parker, who’d lost a powerful ally in Lionel, were all for asking Hugo back. But Abby would have none of it. The sight of Hugo sleekly smirking in the leader’s chair at the Albert Hall during the CCO’s prom had convinced her she never wanted to work with him again.
Bill Thackery, who’d acted as leader since Lionel left, put himself forward, but was rejected as too stodgily dependable and too lacking in charisma. Rodney had only employed him in the first place because he had once played cricket for Rutshire and scored centuries in the RSO’s annual needle-match against the CCO.
Aware that she had hurt Bill, Abby had a restless night. Wandering round the garden at sunrise, leaving footprints on the dewy lawn, she realized after the long silence of the summer, a robin was singing again in the old crab-apple tree. Revelling in the sweet liquid notes, Abby was suddenly reminded of Julian Pellafacini, the kind, diplomatic, infinitely charismatic albino leader of Rannaldini’s New York Orchestra. She’d kept the letter he’d written her after she’d cut her wrist. Not caring that it was the middle of the night in America she called him at once.
‘Did I wake you?’
‘No, I have insomnia over Rannaldini. He sack everyone, I never come back from coffee-break to find the same musicians, yesterday he make me play three times alone in front of the orchestra.’
‘How obnoxious,’ said Abby furiously, adding hastily, ‘I’d never do that to you. Please come and lead my orchestra. We’re premiering Boris Levitsky’s Requiem in three weeks and I need you to show the strings how to play it, and in November we’re recording Winifred Trapp’s Harp Concertos.’
‘A wonderful composer,’ sighed Julian.
‘You’re the first person who’s heard of her,’ said Abby joyfully.
‘Rannaldini told me you were leaving.’
‘Not any more.’
‘Then I will come. My wife love England and ’ate New York.’
‘We will find you a house. How will you escape?’
‘Leave it to me.’
Sweeping onto the platform a week later to conduct a concert version of Parsifal, Rannaldini found his orchestra crying with laughter and his leader sitting at the front desk in an emerald-green pleated dress, green high heels, a white pudding-basin hat and full make-up, and sacked him on the spot. By this time, Julian’s contract with the RSO had been signed.
Julian arrived at the beginning of October and moved with his wife and children into a beautiful rented house in the Close paid for by the RSO. He was paid twice as much as Lionel, but he was worth every penny.
He was so kind, so respected, so gravely charming, that he had only to clap his hands in rehearsals for everyone to shut up and listen. He agreed that Rachel’s Requiem was a masterpiece, explaining it to the more inexperienced or resistant players until everyone found themselves singing the tunes.
The young players seemed to absorb his talent by osmosis, and Old Henry at last had someone to appreciate his stories and argue with about which quartet was Beethoven’s finest.
Abby was appalled by Julian’s appearance when he arrived. His long straight white hair had receded, he was as black under the eyes as his dark glasses, and he had lost over twenty pounds which his thin, stork-like frame could ill afford, but gradually he stopped talking too much about Rannaldini.
Miss Priddock was soon baking him cakes, Miss Parrott knitting him scarves, even Flora picked a lot of sloes intending to make him sloe gin, but they only gathered fluff in the fridge.
‘He’s terribly attractive,’ said Candy.
‘But far too nice to be heterosexual,’ sighed Clare.
That was before they’d met his lovely bosomy wife, Luisa, whom he adored and who gave uproarious spaghetti-and-red-wine parties at the house in the Close on Sundays to which rank-and-file players were asked with section leaders, so relations within the orchestra improved dramatically.
‘To make good music,’ said Julian, ‘you need to have confidence and people you trust on either side of you.’
‘Julian’s a mensch,’ said Abby. ‘That’s someone with standards, a good friend, a man you are proud to know.’
She had achieved great kudos for finding him. He also gave her confidence. She could easily have been jealous of his popularity, but he never took decisions without her, and gradually she became less aggressive and tactless, saying please and thank you, and taking people aside for a quiet word in the break rather than humiliating them in front of the entire orchestra.
‘I think that’s been played better in the past,’ she suggested to Jerry the Joker, after he’d made an appalling cock-up of a bassoon solo.
‘Yes, but not by me,’ said Jerry, to howls of laughter all round.
Morale was so high in Julian’s first weeks that everyone was convinced his leadership had been entirely responsible for the New World and Rannaldini sweeping the board at the Gramophone Awards. They didn’t even mind that Edith Spink and the CCO had won an early music award for Purcell’s King Arthur.
As the date for the première of Rachel’s Requiem approached, Boris, still minus Astrid, started hanging around H.P. Hall, tearful, apprehensive, aggressive by turns, changing everything.
The rows between him and Abby were pyrotechnic.
‘I’m conducting this piece.’
‘I wrote zee bloody thing.’
‘You didn’t even remember you’d introduced a variation of “Rachel’s Lament” as a violin solo in the “Agnus Dei”.’
After hearing Cathie Jones, still desperately nervous in the ‘Libera Me’, Boris went into an orgy of self-doubt and threatened to withdraw the lament altogether.
‘It sound immaculate in the head. Then you hear orchestra hacking through ee
t.’
Fortunately, George Hungerford, who’d become a terrifying figure of menace to Boris since threatening to make him pay back his advance, had been listening unnoticed in the stalls and came up and shook Boris’s hand.
‘Congratulations, it was well worth waiting for.’
Boris was so overcome he burst into tears. Abby then put on the pressure, persuading him that ‘Rachel’s Lament’ would only work if Viking played it. In the interests of art, Boris reluctantly gave in. As a result, Viking nearly got his tooth knocked out again.
Wandering into H.P. Hall after another late-night moonlighting, and no doubt pleasuring Astrid, he noticed Julian in the leader’s room poring over a score. Beside Julian, Viking could see lustrous black curls, and a beautiful lean body in a checked shirt and jeans. Confronted by such a delectable bottom, Viking couldn’t resist pinching it. Next moment an enraged Boris had swung round, and Viking was belting down the passage.
‘Sorry, sorry Boris,’ he pleaded. ‘Don’t hit me again. I’ve josst spent five hundred quid at the dentist. You’ve lost so much weight, I thought you were Abby. Look,’ he went on, as Boris kept on coming, ‘Astrid wants to come back to you, she’s absolutely miserable with me.’
‘She is?’ Boris lowered his fist. ‘Oh my Astrid.’
Terrific news, thought Abby, overhearing the conversation as she came out of the conductor’s room. ‘And Boris has agreed “Rachel’s Lament” sounds better on the French horn, so he’s written it back in for you,’ she told Viking.
‘Sweet of Boris,’ said Viking coolly, ‘but I’m flying to Glasgow tomorrow to play a Mozart concerto with the Royal Scottish National Orchestra, their First Horn’s dislocated a shoulder. I cleared it with George,’ he added as Abby’s face contorted with fury.
Blue would have killed him, reflected Viking, if he’d stolen Cathie’s solo.
Abby could have killed him anyway. ‘And that Hugh Grant hairstyle doesn’t suit you at all,’ she yelled after his departing back view.
The première in fact was a success. All the London critics came down for a number of reasons: Levitsky was still a name; they were curious to see how Abby was making out; but, most of all, they wanted to hear this great new leader who had graced little Rutminster with his lustre. Even the Rutshire Butcher, deliberately invited to the last rehearsal and force-fed lobster thermidor and Moët afterwards by George, wrote that it was good to have some meaty tunes after all those one-note jobs, which had dominated the classical hit-parade for so long.
The two representatives attending from the Arts Council were positively orgasmic about the piece. Nothing got them going like 75 per cent of the audience looking bewildered. By carefully placing round the hall a number of the Friends of the Orchestra to cheer and stamp, George managed to generate a standing ovation for Boris, who looked so mournfully handsome and romantic, that the audience kept on clapping, particularly when he led Cathie Jones forward. Aware that Blue’s good-luck card was hidden in the pocket of her black dress, she had played exquisitely.
Seeing the pink-and-orange chrysanthemums Miss Priddock was bringing on for Abby, Boris thrust them into Cathie’s rough red hands. ‘I zank you viz all my ’eart. I feel Rachel forge eve me at last.’
‘Well, you must be happy with that,’ said Abby, chucking down her baton and the Requiem score, as she and Boris finally returned to the conductor’s room.
‘No-one hackled, no-one booed,’ said Boris darkly. ‘Maybe I am not avant-garde any more, maybe I’m too predictable.’
‘Oh, for Christ’s sake.’
But the next moment, predictability and the avant-garde were forgotten, as Astrid, wearing a new lilac suit, no doubt bought with the proceeds of Viking’s moonlighting, barged into the conductor’s room without bothering to knock, straight into Boris’s arms.
THIRTY-SEVEN
After the première, George took a party out to dinner at the Old Bell. His guests included Abby, Julian and his lovely bosomy wife Luisa, Serena Westwood, head of Artists and Repertoire at Megagram who were recording the Requiem at the end of the month, Jack Rodway, the evening’s sponsor, who was a specialist in receiverships in a leading firm of accountants, and, representing the Arts Council, a caring beard called Gilbert Greenford and his ‘partner’, a folk-weave biddy called Gwynneth.
Having laid on limos to the Old Bell, George was extremely irritated to be lectured by Gwynneth all the way on the evils of air-conditioning in large petrol-swilling cars.
‘You ought to get a cycle,’ she stared beadily at George’s straining waistband, ‘Gilbert and I cycle everywhere, indeed Gilbert has had his cycle, Clara (after Clara Schumann, of course), since he was at Keble.’
It was clearly going to be difficult reconciling the middle-of-the road tastes of Serena Westwood, a single parent whose calm beautiful face was belied by a rapacious body, with those of Gilbert and Gwynneth from the Arts Council, who only liked the obscure and discordant, and of Jack Rodway, who had a penchant for Boléro because ‘it makes me feel right randy’.
To George’s further irritation, he arrived at the hotel to find a joyfully drunk Boris, who’d been on the red wine all day, had rolled up not only with Astrid, but also Marcus and Flora who was totally unsuitably dressed in sawn-off Black-Watch-tartan dungarees. George hadn’t spoken to Flora since she’d brought Marcus over to be impossibly rude to Peggy Parker at the sixtieth-birthday concert, but he had noticed her cool deadpan face among the violas, or more often the top of her red-gold head because her freckled nose was always in a book. He knew she was trouble.
Once the waiter had added another table, Boris, Marcus, Astrid and the Pallafacinis commandeered it, wanting to mull over the concert and talk musical shop. They had kept a place for Flora.
But determined Flora shouldn’t cause any more trouble and to keep her away from Gilbert and Gwynneth, George frogmarched her down the table into the seat nearest the window, with Jack Rodway next to her, hissing: ‘He’s paid for this evening, so bloody well be nice to him.’
Planning to put himself opposite her to keep an eye on her and at the same time talk business with Jack Rodway, George held out a seat for Serena Westwood, intending her to sit next to him, so they could discuss recordings for the RSO. But alas, a second later, ghastly Gwynneth had landed on the seat like a wet lump of potter’s clay.
‘I feel you and I should get to know each other, Mr Hungerford, and you sit on my left, Mr Brian-Knowles,’ she added archly to Miles, nearly giving him a black eye with one of her huge silver earrings, hanging like gongs on either side of her round, smug, pasty face.
Gwynneth had buck teeth, beady little dark eyes, a pepper-and-salt bun, and was also a great lard-mountain of self-importance as she was constantly fawned on by men who ran orchestras and ballet and opera companies who knew she had the power to slash their grants.
Seeing Flora gazing at Gwynneth in horror, George snapped at her not to stare. So Flora looked out of the window at the yellow willow spears falling into the dark river, and at the lights on the bridge silhouetted against the russet glow of the Rutminster sky.
On all sides, at other tables, ancient residents were ekeing out slices of cheddar and half-bottles of red, nudging each other because they recognized Abby. Some of them also recognized George from the local papers, because of the row he was having with the council over planning permission for the fifty acres on Cowslip Hill.
George certainly had a terrific effect on waiters, who had all converged on the table, handing over red velvet, tasselled menus, gabbling about Plats du Jour, and filling glasses, particularly Boris’s, whenever they were empty.
‘Penny for your forts,’ asked Jack Rodway, who’d been admiring Flora’s profile.
‘I was thinking,’ replied Flora with a sweet smile, ‘what an ugly cow that is opposite.’
‘Her “partner” Gilbert is worse,’ murmured Jack. ‘I sat next to ‘im on the drive down. Stinks like a pole cat.’
Flora giggled. ‘Obviously t
hinks avant-garde is more important than Right Guard.’
Jack looked blank for a second, then roared with laughter.
‘That’s right, Flora.’
Jack Rodway had dissipated blue eyes in a ruddy expensive face, wore a sharp navy-blue suit, and was such an alley cat that Flora expected to see furry pointed ears protruding through his thatch of blond hair.
‘I suppose,’ she observed, ‘receivers and divorce lawyers are the only people making any money these days.’
‘Too right, Flora, with twenty thousand firms going belly up every year, it’s a growf industry, nime of the gime.’
‘Must be awfully depressing, like being an undertaker or a nurse in a vivisection clinic,’ Flora shivered. ‘All those poor employees losing their jobs.’
‘We try and mike it as pineless as possible for the personnel involved. No fanks,’ Jack rejected a wholemeal roll. Over forty, a flat stomach required sacrifices.
‘Moules are nice, Flora, just come in,’ suggested the head waiter, who was a great pal of Flora’s mother.
‘Lovely, I’ll have those,’ Flora beamed back at him. ‘I’m so hopeless at decisions.’
‘I’ll have smoked salmon, followed by steak and French fries,’ said Jack Rodway.
Suddenly Flora twigged.
‘You must be an invaluable contact for George. Presumably when companies go into receivership they often have huge crumbling old buildings that no longer qualify as listed, if you knock off a few cornices, but are ripe for development as office blocks or supermarkets.’
‘What a very astute young lidy you are, Flora,’ said Jack Rodway, filling up her glass. ‘Wasted on the violas.’
George, from his bootfaced expression, had obviously heard every word, but was being monopolized by Gwynneth.
‘I shall not let my sword sleep in my hand,’ she was saying affectedly, ‘until I have routed out sexual apartheid in British orchestras and until 50 per cent of the repertoire is by women composers.’