by Jilly Cooper
For a second, he banged his head against the top of the piano, wiped out with longing. He must concentrate. Frantically he leafed through the score to the last movement. Singing ‘To the Life Boats, to the Life Boats’, in a breathless tenor, he tried to match the frantically syncopated piano part. As he groped for a handkerchief to wipe his hands, Mrs Bateson’s little jet cat fell out. He mustn’t let her down either.
The next moment, he jumped violently as Helen barged in.
‘Marcus darling, you mustn’t go on. Dr Brewster says it would kill you — it’s insanity.’
‘Mum, per-lease! I need to be on my own.’
‘You mustn’t go on.’
‘For God’s sake, fuck off.’ Marcus raised clenched fists to heaven.
‘Even you reject me.’ Helen burst into tears.
Rupert, who’d been guarding the door, had been caught temporarily on the hop, as he tried to get through to Czechoslovakia on his mobile to find out if Pridie was all right. But he immediately took Helen away for a large brandy.
For a second they gazed at each other. Helen’s eyes were dark with resentment.
‘I couldn’t help loving him so much. He was all I had when I was married to you.’
‘I know, I’m sorry,’ said Rupert.
The passage outside his dressing-room was like a herbaceous border. Taggie had lined up all his flowers in vases, so they didn’t trigger off another asthma attack. Inside, Marcus couldn’t see the shelves for cards, one had been signed by every member of the RSO. Taggie had kept back a white carnation for his buttonhole. Now she was pressing his tails.
‘How’re Xav and Bianca?’ Marcus tried to force his trembling lips into a confident smile.
‘OK. I’ve just rung home. Xav’s always asking about his big brother. Oh Marcus, I’m so happy you and Rupert have made it up. He’s so pleased and proud of you for going on.’
Marcus’s hands were shaking so much that when Rupert returned, he had to tie his tie for him.
‘You can use your puffer between movements,’ urged Taggie.
‘That’s the bit when we wait ’til Flora claps,’ said Rupert.
‘Is Flora here?’ asked Marcus in amazed delight.
As he was giving his hands a last wash to remove the sweat, Howie Denston barged in, followed by a chattering retinue of his own sex.
‘Markie baby, why didn’t you tell me you were gay? You’ve no idea the doors I can open for you, now.’
‘Get out,’ said Rupert, slamming the door in all their faces.
A second later Chrissie was knocking discreetly, ‘Are you ready, Martin? You’re on now. And Gay News has asked especially if they can have a brief interview afterwards.’
‘You’re not talking to them,’ snapped Rupert. ‘Charity does not begin at homos.’
As they left the dressing-room, Marcus was nearly sent flying by a gorgon in a caftan.
‘Got to phone my copy through,’ cried Gwynneth bossily. ‘Never heard Rach Three played so well. How little Philipova’s hands stretched that far — must be a clear winner. I’m going to stick my neck out.’
Marcus nearly burst out laughing at the horror on his father’s face.
‘Beware a pale rider on a dark horse,’ hissed Rupert, making a V-sign at Gwynneth’s vast back.
‘Oh, there’s Maestro Rannaldini,’ said Chrissie reverently.
Rupert straightened Marcus’s tie again.
‘Taggie and I better go and find our seats, good luck. Try not to rush things. Remind me to buy you some new evening-shirts.’
Turning, he nearly bumped into Rannaldini. Rupert was six inches taller but, as he glanced down into the cold uncompromising face of his enemy, he dropped his guard.
‘Look after him, please.’
‘Of course,’ Rannaldini smiled like an expectant wolf.
‘Come along, Marcus,’ then, lowering his voice, added nastily, ‘But don’t play too slowly or we’ll overrun the news.’
Brave boys, thought Marcus irrationally, are not afraid of wolves.
Shaking off Rannaldini’s obtrusively guiding hand, he walked out onto the stage. For a second, he halted in panic at the beginning of the First Violins, blinded by the dazzling white camera lights, staggered by the vastness of the audience, an ocean of wary and unsmiling faces. There was a sudden and embarrassed silence. Perhaps they would all boo him for what he had done to Abby. Then he felt a small, warm hand creeping into his.
‘Good ruck, Marcus, good ruck,’ whispered Noriko, and a shove from Rannaldini thrust him forward.
Seeing how desperately pale, shadowed and apprehensive he looked, Flora leapt without thinking to her feet.
‘Bravo, bravo, Marcus, great to see you,’ she yelled, clapping frantically, and a second later the audience had joined in.
Coming down the row, to take up Marcus’s two complimentary tickets, were Rupert and Taggie. Sitting down next to Flora, Rupert kissed her on both cheeks.
‘You are a star in every possible way. Sorry I chewed you out earlier.’
Glancing beyond her, he encountered a murderous glare from the square-shouldered, square-jawed minder beyond her.
‘Rupert, this is my future husband, George Hungerford,’ said Flora hastily.
Marcus was amazed to see how many of the orchestra were smiling at him. There was Quinton in Viking’s place clutching his golden horn, and Candy and Clare clapping wildly, and Dimitri discreetly waving two crossed fingers, and Randy and Davie Buckle cocking their heads and winking, and Barry and all the basses making thumbs-up signs. Hilary, Simon and Peter were too preoccupied with long difficult solos ahead to do more than nod, but Juno gave him a radiant smile. She was feeling very chipper, because James Vereker, the presenter, had just asked her out to dinner.
‘Good on you, Marcus. Go for it.’ Julian stood up and pumped Marcus’s hand as he passed. Then, lowering his voice, added, ‘You’ve got to win, we’ve all got so much money on you.’
Rannaldini mounted the rostrum glaring round, instantly wiping the smiles off everyone’s faces. George would have difficulty over-turning the decision of an entire board. They knew Rannaldini could put them all out of work next week. Once again they wished Viking was here, if only in the audience.
Having lowered the piano-stool, checked if he could reach the pedals comfortably, given his fingers a last wipe on his black trousers, Marcus put his head back with his eyes shut for a moment to compose himself. Then he placed his hands on the keys and was about to nod to Rannaldini, when the down beat descended like an executioner’s axe, and the entire orchestra came in on the first crashing quaver. Caught on the hop, Marcus’s first three bars followed like a mad scramble down the steps to a lake, immediately followed by the woodwind taking off like a great swan across the water’s surface. This gave him eight bars’ respite to catch his breath before echoing the lovely piano expressivo melody, then rippling on in accompaniment to the strings.
But Rannaldini was taking it horrendously fast and Marcus had his work cut out trying to keep up.
It was soon clear that this was a contest not a partnership. With every tutti, Rannaldini whipped up the tempo; with every exquisitely languorous cascade of notes, Marcus tried to slow it down.
He was touched that whenever Simon, Peter and even Hilary had ravishing solos, which he had to accompany, they tried to check their speed, adjusting to his slower tempo. But inevitably this made his performance uneven. Until following a magical andante interchange between woodwind and piano, Rannaldini suddenly accelerated as if he were turning up a mixer to full speed, and Marcus ran away with himself, and came off the rails, and stopped completely.
In the gallery, Dame Edith, Pablo and Boris groaned in despair. But having thoroughly frightened himself, Marcus steadied. Realizing Rannaldini was deliberately bent on sabotage, his terror hardened into cold rage.
At least he looked absolutely beautiful on the monitor, as though Narcissus had wandered into the hall and was gazing at his reflection i
n the shiny black piano lid. And, as his confidence grew, so did the depth and lyricism of his playing. There was none of Benny’s unrelenting stridency, nor Natalia’s sloppy, splashy lushness. Up in the gallery Pablo even stopped grumbling that Lady Appleton had confiscated his Guinness Book of Records. All round the hall, people began thinking that perhaps the Schumann was the greatest piano concerto of them all.
Even Rannaldini couldn’t rot up the cadenza, although he did his best to distract the audience, adjusting his gardenia, examining his nails and flipping the pages of the score back and forth, and he hardly waited for the final trill to bring the orchestra in at an even faster tempo. But this time Marcus was ready and, like a television camera on top of a car, he somehow managed to keep up with the galloping cheetah right to the end of the movement.
‘Bloody marvellous,’ muttered Clare, as she and Candy tuned their instruments and adjusted the dusters on their shoulders.
‘Even more marvellous,’ muttered back Candy, ‘is the man on Flora’s right. Christ, he’s good looking — how the hell does Flora do it?’
‘That’s Marcus’s father,’ said Clare, ‘I think he once went to bed with Mummy.’
Rupert was tone deaf, but he’d never taken his eyes off Marcus throughout the entire movement.
‘Was that all right?’ he asked anxiously over the coughing and murmer of chat.
‘Sensational,’ whispered Flora. ‘He kept his nerve, despite chronic aggravation from Rannaldini. And Marcus certainly wins on looks. Because of the red hair, everyone says he’s like Helen, but I reckon he’s the image of you.’
‘That’s nice,’ Rupert blushed slightly.
‘I also think he’s up to something,’ observed Flora. ‘I’ve seen that look before.’
Marcus reached for his inhaler, had a puff, and glanced up meditatively at Rannaldini’s impeccably tailored back, wondering what devilries he was plotting now. He has ridden expensively shod over too many people, thought Marcus.
Rannaldini, in fact, was busy polishing his pewter hair and reflecting that the Steel Elf, despite her squeaky sound, was extraordinarily pretty. He must remember to fuck her before he gave her the sack. Determined to observe the niceties this time, he turned graciously to check if Marcus were ready. Timidly Marcus beckoned him. The picture of concern, Rannaldini leapt youthfully down from his rostrum. Perhaps the little wimp had decided to retire. Beckoning him a fraction closer, Marcus hissed: ‘This one’s for Abby, you bastard,’ and giving a quick nod to Julian, he started playing: ta, ta, ta, tum, ta, ta, ta, tum. The orchestra were so astounded they only just came in time. Rannaldini, however, was totally wrong-footed. Tripping over a cable in his built-up shoes, he nearly fell flat on his face and was reduced to scrambling furiously back to his rostrum, frantically flailing in a desperate attempt to regain the ascendancy over the orchestra, who played on with broad grins on their faces. The jury were divided between outrage, ecstasy and helpless laughter.
As the slow movement was merely a short, sweet intermezzo, with the strings, woodwind and piano mournfully echoing one another, there was nothing Rannaldini could do in retaliation except smoulder. But the allegro vivace, graveyard of pianists, lay ahead. That would be the time to show the little faggot who was maestro.
Without a glance in Marcus’s direction, Rannaldini swept the orchestra into the last movement. Marcus had eighty bars of scampering glamorously round the keyboard before the orchestra, like a will-o’-the-wisp leading the unwary traveller into the quicksand, launched into the deceptively simple, jaunty little tune. ‘To the Life Boats, To the Life Boats’, sung Marcus to himself grimly. It was one hell of a pace. He mustn’t panic.
At first the jury and many of the audience thought Julian must be drunk, because he had for once taken off his dark glasses and swayed crazily round his leader’s chair, bloodshot eyes rolling, pale lank hair flying.
Then Deirdre twigged.
‘He’s not dronk,’ she whispered to Boris in admiration. ‘He’s josst making sure that every member of the orchestra can see him.’
Aware that Marcus could never keep up with the terrifying syncopated cross-rhythms if the musicians went at Rannaldini’s pace, Julian was utterly ignoring Rannaldini, playing at a slower tempo, and the RSO stayed with him.
After two days of responding with the docility of dressage horses, they were suddenly raising two hooves to Rannaldini. Abby — very dear because she was now departed — had been sacked unfairly. This was their rebellion.
Overjoyed, astounded, Marcus realized they were doing to the mighty Rannaldini what they had done to Abby in the old days. They were following the soloist. He felt a great surge of confidence. Like shoals of goldfish, released from a tiny tank into a great river, like a door opening and sunlight pouring in on the darkness, the notes were flowing gloriously away from his fingers.
Rannaldini was insane with rage. The leader, whom he’d fired in New York and would certainly fire again the moment the concerto was over, was refusing like an overworked barman to let his eye be caught. But, being on camera, Rannaldini couldn’t betray his fury. Short of thrashing Julian with his baton he could do nothing.
‘I ’ave never seen anything like it,’ murmured Pablo to the other judges. ‘I ’ave waited many, many years for that sheet to meet his Vaterloo. C’est magnifique, mais c’est aussi la guerre.’
To avoid public humiliation, Rannaldini had now readjusted his beat to Marcus’s joyfully dancing fingers.
‘Nearly there,’ murmured Flora to Rupert. ‘Only one more fence to jump.’
And perfectly controlled, but racing faster and faster like a winner on the home straight at Cheltenham, the orchestra launched into the final tutti, followed by Marcus’s last euphoric helter-skelter up the keyboard leading into the last crashing chords, accompanied by Davie Buckle’s tumultuous drumroll, and it was all over.
Marcus bowed his head as if he were in total trance. There was a long, stunned silence, broken by Flora once again leaping to her feet.
‘Bravo, bravo,’ she screamed bringing her hands together in clap almost as noisy as the final chord: a flash of lightning which was followed by the most deafening thunder of applause, as stamping, cheering, yelling, the entire audience rose to their feet.
For a moment, Marcus gazed at them in bewilderment, the colour stealing into his face. Then he smiled more radiantly than any sunrise, and getting unsteadily to his feet, holding the edge of the piano for support, bowed low as the applause grew more and more delirious. Then, giddy, he straightened up, and fell into Julian’s waiting arms.
Unable to speak they hammered each other’s backs, listening to an even sweeter sound: a manic rattling of bows on the backs of chairs.
Unfortunately for Rannaldini, Marcus was blocking his exit, and Rannaldini was forced, because he was on camera, to hold out his hand.
Marcus looked at it for a second. Then, deliberately rejecting it, he said quite distinctly: ‘That was for screwing up Flora and Abby and cuckolding my mother.’ Then he added as an afterthought, ‘And for trying to destroy my father,’ and stalked off the platform.
How could Marcus have rejected Rannaldini’s olive branch? thought Helen in horror. I’m seeing Rupert all over again.
‘That was worth a bloody gold,’ crowed Rupert as he and Taggie fought their way out to Marcus’s dressing-room. ‘Absolutely no doubt who the audience want to win.’
Marcus was waiting for them, smiling apologetically. ‘I’ve probably screwed up my career for ever, but God, I enjoyed that.’
He was so soaked in sweat, yet burning white-hot, that Taggie needed ovengloves to hug him.
‘You were wonderful,’ she said tearfully.
But what really made Marcus’s evening, almost his whole life, was Rupert’s face. He’d only seen that blaze of elation when his father had won big races, or major show-jumping classes in the old days.
‘You were fucking fantastic,’ Rupert told him, then stopped to listen in wonder to the acceler
ating stamp of feet from the hall. ‘I only got applause like that at the Olympics.’
‘You’ve got to go back again, Marcus,’ an NTV minion popped his head round the door. ‘You took it so fast, we’ve got a couple of minutes to fill before the break.’
Going out of his dressing-room, Marcus collided with an outraged Howie Denston.
‘You’ve blown it, you stupid fucker. How could you screw Rannaldini like that? He controls everything. The jury won’t touch you now — you’re blown out of the water, finished.’
Howie was followed by a tearful Helen.
‘Oh Marcus, how could you do that to Rannaldini? What must he be feeling at this moment?’
‘Natalia’s boobs, probably,’ said Marcus curtly. ‘He’s a bastard, Mum, the sooner you chuck him the better.’
And leaving a frantically mouthing Helen, he went back to face the ecstatic crowds and because Rannaldini had refused to return, bringing the orchestra and then Hilary, Peter and Simon to their feet and even kissing little Noriko’s hand.
‘Hey, lay off,’ yelled Cherub from the gallery and everyone laughed.
‘For God’s sake, get them off the stage,’ an NTV official was yelling to Nicholas, ‘or we’ll be into another hour’s overtime.’
‘That’s your problem,’ said Knickers cheerfully. ‘That was absolutely marvellous, Marcus.’
‘He was always so sweet and polite,’ sobbed Helen.
Taggie put an arm round her shoulders.
‘He’s been under a terrible strain, so have you. Let’s all have a huge drink,’ she added to Rupert, who was already opening bottles from a crate of champagne, which he had magically produced.
When Julian at last brought the orchestra off the platform, he was accosted by a maddened Rannaldini, ‘D’you realize,’ he spat, ‘that you have just lost the chance of leading what will become the greatest orchestra in the world.’
‘I’d far rather work for the happiest,’ said Julian coldly and walked straight past him.