She was scared of something though. I don’t know what, but I was not going to give up on her. I was going to try to break through her walls and find out because I had to...I just had to get to know her. There was something between us that I needed to explore, whether she wanted it or not. I was not going to give up.
CHAPTER SIX
I woke up in the recovery room and couldn’t remember much of anything. Minutes later, Pearce was there.
“You okay?”
“I dunno,” I slurred. “Where am I?”
“You’re in the hospital and you just came out of surgery. You did great honey. We’re going to keep you here a bit longer and then send you up to a room. Alexia, do you remember anything that happened?”
“No.Yeah.” I closed my eyes and drifted off.
I heard voices off and on and Pearce woke me up again.
“Hey Alexia, you need to wake up now. We need to keep you awake for a while before we send you up to your room. Standard procedures.”
“But I’m so sleepy.”
“I know. It’s the anesthesia. It’ll wear off in a bit. How’s your pain?”
“S’okay.”
“Good. Talk to me sweetheart.”
“You called me sweetheart,” I murmured.
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Uh huh.”
“Is there anything you want to tell me?”
“Yeah. You’re really pretty. No. Not pretty. You’re hot. Yeah, hot. Damn hot.”
I think I heard him chuckle.
“Anything else? Like about what happened?”
“No! I don’t want to talk about that. I was really scared. Thought I was gonna die.”
“Do you know who did this to you?”
“No! Why would someone do that to me? I’m not a mean person. I know I’m fucked up and everything. Ever since Peter died. I’m such a mess. But I’m not mean to anyone. Why would they be so mean to me? I’m scared.” I started crying.
“Hey, you’re safe here now. You can’t think of anything?”
“No. Maybe God was just punishing me for being so bad,” I sniffed and tried to wipe my face.
He was there with a soft cloth, doing it for me. “Don’t say that Alexia. God isn’t like that.”
“He isn’t?”
“No.”
“I don’t know. I’ve done bad things. First Peter and now myself. Maybe I deserved this. Can I sleep now?”
“Not yet.”
“Will you tell them not to turn off my light. I’m afraid of the dark. And tell them to leave the door open, okay?”
“Okay.” He held my hand.
I wanted to sleep but he wouldn’t let me. I begged and pleaded with him. Finally, they came to take me up to my room. I reminded Pearce to tell them about the lights and the door. I was so scared to be trapped inside of a small space.
********
I don’t remember the ride up to my room but I woke up later in the day, hurting like all get out.
I tried to sit up but I couldn’t because of the pain. I wanted to call Terri or Lisbeth. I knew they’d be worried about me. I didn’t even know what day it was. I needed to call Camellia’s too. I looked for the button on the bed to call the nurse. I finally found it and punched it.
A nurse came in and I asked her if she could help me out of bed because I needed to go to the bathroom.
“Sweetie, you don’t need to worry about that. You have a catheter.”
“Huh?”
“You have a catheter. You just go whenever you want. You don’t have to get up.”
I picked up the sheets and saw that tube thing shooting out of me.
“Eww! Gross.”
“Well, sweetie, it does the job. Now, are you hurting at all.”
“Yeah. Everywhere,” I groaned.
“Well, let me get you something for pain.”
She left before I had a chance to ask her about my purse.
She was back in a jiffy and stuck something in my IV line. Then I asked her about my purse. She said she’d check on it. I told her I needed to make some phone calls and she showed me the phone. Duh, it was right there, next to the bed. She also told me that I was supposed to call Pearce the minute I woke up.
“He’s been checking on you every hour. Never seen anything like it, sweetie. I’ve known that man for a couple of years now and he’s never shown an interest in anything that throws herself at him. But with you, it’s another story. So do me a big favor and call him right away. If you don’t, I’ll get a good butt chewing from him. Here’s his number.”
“Yes ma’am, I will. And thank you for taking such good care of me.”
“Just doing my job sweetie.”
********
What would I say to him? I wanted to hear his voice and he’d been so honest to goodness sweet to me. God, no one had been that great to me other than Terri. But he scared me so much. I wanted to wrap myself around him and never let him go, but I knew he deserved so much more than some nasty old skank like me. Shit! Why couldn’t I be someone else, just for a day? Someone that was normal...just for once?
I quickly dialed Pearce’s number before I lost my nerve. He picked up on the first ring.
“Middleton.”
“Hi. It’s Lexi,” I murmured, as my heart thundered in my ears.
“Lexi?”
“Yeah, Alexia.”
“Alexia! How’re you feeling? I’ve been calling in to check on you.”
“That’s what the nurse told me. I’m okay. Really sore and all. I’ll be fine I suppose.”
“Of course you will.”
“Thank you for being with me throughout it all yesterday. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re very welcome Alexia. I never would have wanted you to go through that alone. Are you up for some company over lunch?”
“If you can stand the sight of me.”
“See you around noon then.”
I hung up and called Lisbeth. She assured me everything was fine with her and that Pearce had kept her informed every step of the way. She was worried to death about me and wanted to come to the hospital to see me. I told her that it was out of the question. I didn’t want her to see me like this. She could see me when I came home. Besides, I knew there wasn’t a damn thing she could do except for worry about me. I promised I’d call her every day with updates on my condition.
I finally dialed Terri’s number and she lit into me like fire. I never got such a cussing from anyone in my life. She worked me up one side and down the other and then broke down and cried, told me she would kill me if I ever let anything like this happen to me again and then said she was on her way to the hospital. Before I could even get a word in, she’d hung up the phone. Twenty minutes later she was busting through my door and crawling all over my bed.
“What the hell Terri, you’re killing me here. I just had surgery. You need to take it easy on me here.”
“Huh uh. I just found out where the hell you’d disappeared to, found out you’d been abducted for Christ’s sake, held hostage or whatever, then dumped on the side of the road and left there for God knows how long with stab wounds and a skull fracture and you tell me to take it easy on you? Are you crazy? You’re my bestie and you could’ve died for Christ’s sake Lex. What do you expect from me?”
“Well, when you put it that way, I can see why you’re acting this way. But damn, be careful. I have staples and things. Plus this disgusting thing called a catheter. Not to mention all these other tubes and wires and shit. And I hurt like hell.”
“Okay. Okay. I’m sorry! Do you even remember anything?”
“Yeah, but can we not talk about it? It scares the ever loving crap outta me. Seriously.”
“Shit Lexi.”
I shuddered. “Let me just tell you this. I went to King Street to grab a bite to eat. I was on my way to the Golden Nugget when I heard my name. I looked across the street and of all people, it was Beavis from that Friday night a while back.”
“Who?”
“Beavis or Butthead. One of the two. You know,” I groaned.
“Oh yeah.”
“He started chatting it up with me so I made some lame excuse to get away from him and got the hell out of there. I was walking so fast, running really, and not paying attention to where I was going that I ran smack dab into Smoky Eyes.”
“Who the fuck is Smoky Eyes?”
“The hot dude from the restaurant. You know the night I had the big table in the private room?”
“Nope. Not following.”
“Dern. I must’ve forgotten to tell you about him. Anyway, he was smoking hot with these amazing gray eyes. He left me a two hundred dollar tip with his card and a note asking me to call him.”
“Did you?”
“No! I wanted to get my act straightened out first. Anyway, I barreled right into his amazing chest in my haste to get away from Beavis. I mean literally. I nearly fell on my ass. He stops me from falling and I look right up into his face.”
“Yikes!”
“Exactly!” I told her the rest of the story and ended up with him at my bedside in the ER.
“Geez Lexi. I think he really likes you.”
“Terr, the feeling is mutual, but I’m so fucked up, he doesn’t need me around him. Add this whole incident to the mix and now you don’t have just fucked up Lexi, now I’m Train-Wreck-Fucked-Up-Lexi.”
“Quit being so hard on yourself. Besides, he’s a grown man. Let him decided for himself if you’re too fucked up for his tastes.”
“Huh uh. Then he’ll end up hating me. And I’ll hate myself even more than I already do, if that’s even possible. Besides, he scares the hell out of me. There’s something about him Terr that sets me on fire. I mean, I could see myself doing things with him that...well, I’m afraid I’ll just fuck things up like I did with Peter. You know, while I was being held by those guys, I wondered if this was God’s way of punishing me for my disgusting behavior.”
“Would you stop already?”
“No, I’m being serious here. The thing is, I’ve decided...I meanreally decided that I’m done with that lifestyle. No more clubs, bars, whatever. I’m cleaning my act up. I’ll keep on working for Lisbeth, but I may look for a normal kind of job too. I don’t know what. I’ll keep on working at Camellia’s if he hasn’t already replaced me. But I’m done with it all. When I get well enough, I’m trashing all my ho clothing and turning over a new leaf. I’m scared to death those dudes will come back for me. I don’t know what they wanted with me, but they knew who I was. It’s freaking me out Terri. I think they would’ve killed me. I could’ve died.” I ran my hands through my hair and then clasped them together to try to get them to stop shaking.
“Shit, Lex! I’m so glad you’ve made that decision. I think you need to get a gun and take some self defense classes or something. After you’re cleared by your doctor, we’ll sign up for that.”
“I think you may be right.”
We talked for a bit longer but then I told her I was really hurting and getting sleepy so she left. She said she’d be back that night.
I lay on my bed and curled up in a ball, hugging my knees as close to my chest as my wounds would allow. I wished I could flash myself to someplace magical, where none of this existed. Where my mom and dad gave a shit about me and would be here with me to comfort me, where I had a room to go home to with someone to help me so I didn’t have to be alone and scared. Where I could have the confidence in myself to not be afraid to get involved with Pearce. Where I didn’t have to worry about being by myself. I wish I could go back in time and undo all the awful things I did...especially sleeping with all those men. I lay there in a tight ball and fell eventually fell asleep.
********
I woke up to the smell of homemade chicken soup and the crunching of a paper bag. I opened my eyes and there stood Pearce, grinning at me.
“You don’t look much better today,” he observed. He disappeared for a moment and came back to my bed with a warm cloth and gently wiped my face. I must’ve looked a mess. “Your bruising has really popped out. Have you been using the ice packs?”
“No, I didn’t know I was supposed to.”
He left for a moment and came back with some cold gel packs for me to use.
“Thank you. The soup smells amazing.”
“It’s the best in all of Charleston. Omie’s Deli.”
“I’ve always heard it was great but I’ve never been there.”
“Now’s your chance.”
I carefully squiggled up in the bed and pushed the button to raise the head. My head itched like crazy so I went to scratch it, but winced as I did.
“Do you need something for the pain?”
“No, I hurt everywhere though. Aches and bruises.”
“You’re banged up pretty badly Alexia. You’re going to be sore for quite awhile.”
I leaned over the soup to get a spoonful and it was the best ever. “Oh yum. This is great!”
“Told ya,” he said with a wink. “I think I lived on this stuff during med school.”
“So you went here then?”
“Alexia, my last name is Middleton. I didn’t have much of a choice.”
“Oh,” was all I could say. I guess the Middleton’s must have something to do with the medical school here.
He must have read my mind because he said, “The Middleton’s are the biggest benefactors to the medical school here.”
“Oh,” I said again. “Did you train here?”
“No, I did my surgery residency at Duke. Then I did my trauma surgery and critical care fellowship at Grady in Atlanta. I did a follow up year at Cook in Chicago. I wanted to go to a large city to get hands on experience with gunshot wounds and thoracic and abdominal trauma.”
“Oh,” I said again. I was beginning to sound like a moron. If I didn’t come up with something more than ‘oh’ he would think I was brainless. “That’s a little above my head,” I admitted.
“It’s okay. It’s above most people’s heads. What I wanted to do was to get a lot of hands on experience working on victims of gunshot wounds to the chest, neck and abdominal area. They tend to be really...um, messy. I figured I would get that in a large city which is why I chose Atlanta and Chicago.”
“That makes sense when you put it that way.”
“There’s also a lot of expressway trauma...car accidents and the like.”
“I see. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Doesn’t that stuff gross you out?” I scrunched up my face because just the thought of it all disgusted me.
He threw back his head and belted out a hearty laugh.
“No. It’s a good thing too. Can you imagine your doctor coming in and going, ‘Eww! That’s gross!’”
I tried to laugh, but it hurt too bad. “Yeah, that would be kinda bad.”
“You get used to it. At first it’s kind of weird looking at all the tissue and stuff, but then you get past it pretty fast.”
“Okay, I get it,” I grimaced. I was starting get queasy just listening to him.
“Sorry, I forget that people don’t like to hear that kind of thing. Can I check your belly?”
“What!”What the fuck!
He dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit Alexia, I’m sorry. That wasn’t very professional. What I meant was would you mind if I took a look at your wounds to see how they’re progressing? That really came out badly, didn’t it?”
I giggled. Then I tried to laugh. Then he laughed too. I had to grab my stomach because laughing made me hurt.
“I thought you wanted to blow a raspberry on it or something.”
We laughed again.
“Well, if you want me to I can.”
This conversation had gotten extremely comfortable. I was surprised too. I didn’t want to dwell on it.
“Um Pearce, I don’t have on any underwear.”
“Oh, right. Let me get Sharon in here for
a minute.”
“Sharon?”
“Your nurse.”
He left and returned minutes later with my nurse and she had a sheet in her hand. She shooed him out of the room for a second and she tugged my gown up and draped the sheet over my bare lower half. Then she called him in.
He pranced in and pulled on some latex gloves. Sharon brought in some wound supplies and placed them on the bed. He removed the bandages over the two places where I’d been stabbed and the incision where they repaired my spleen and looked at them.
“Everything is looking good here. Nice and neat. Healing well. No sign of infection.” He replaced the bandages with new ones and pulled my gown down for me. Then he covered me back up and Sharon left.
“Did you see me naked?” I blurted out.
“Excuse me?”
“You know, when they were operating on me.”
“Alexia, we don’t have patients lying on the table naked. They are covered in gowns and surgical drapes. The only area exposed is the part where the surgery will take place. So no, sweetheart, I didn’t see you naked.”
“Oh, okay then.” My cheeks burned hot but for some reason, I felt better about this whole thing. Strangely enough, countless men had seen me naked, but for some reason, I didn’t want him to unless I was conscious and willing.
Then the conversation shifted and so did the tone of his voice. “Alexia, the police want to speak to you this afternoon.”
I started to tremble. “I figured they would. I don’t know what I can tell them though.”
“Do you want me to be here?”
I started to cry. He moved to put his arms around me but for some reason I stiffened up like a board. I was so conflicted over everything. I wanted this man...badly. But I didn’t want him involved in my life...not the way I was now. I pushed him away.
“So we’re back to that then are we?”
Edge of Disaster Page 4