A steely, determined expression sets on Willa’s face as she makes her way up the stairs, and I respect the forcefulness in each step she takes. This is clearly very difficult for her, but she’s doing it anyway. She’s extremely afraid and unequipped for this, but she intends to be the hero. She’ll do anything for her sister, and that’s pretty fucking admirable.
Even though I have no idea what I’m really looking for, I know that I’ll be able to spot something suspicious—I have enough experience for that—so I start to hunt around the apartment. I start with the front room, looking for the drawer or cupboard where they keep their paperwork. Every home has one, and that’s as good a place to look as any. I uncover nothing, so I head to the kitchen instead.
I examine all of the food in the cupboards, not even able to remember the last time I ate something substantial, and I finally spot a small corner of a photograph, stuffed under all sorts of kitchen utensils and appliances.
I pull it out. This has either been hidden here or left here by accident, and either way I want to get a look. Something about it just feels important.
The first thing I spot in the picture is a slightly younger-looking Willa. This must have been taken a year or so ago. She’s standing awkwardly next to a preppy, bored-looking boy who may well have been her boyfriend back then, and instead of feeling even a tinge of jealousy, I stare at him with a bemused smile. He’s clearly a boy, whereas I am most definitely a man. The kid has nothing on me.
Then I see a girl who has a slightly similar look to Willa, except that she’s taller and rounder-faced, and her blonde hair is much mousier looking. This must be Nicolette, the mysteriously missing stripper girl. I drift my eyes over to see another guy with his arm slung casually over her shoulder. Her boyfriend, I assume.
As soon as I take in his face, my entire world crumbles around me. The ground honestly seems to vanish from beneath my feet, and everything else disappears until it’s just me and the image I’m grasping in my hand.
“Oh, fuck!” I say before I can get a hold of myself.
Fuck, fuck, fuck…
What the hell am I going to do now? Sure, this is a slightly younger version of the guy, but there’s absolutely no mistaking that I know who he is. I’ve met him before.
God-fucking-damn it!
There’s no way that Willa is going to believe anything I say now. She’ll think I somehow planned all of this.
My knuckles are white, and I’m clutching onto the photograph so tightly that I might tear it at any moment. Each breath I take is labored and panicked, and for a man that’s always in control, I have absolutely no fucking idea what to do right now.
It only gets worse when I hear a clunking sound coming from the direction of the bedroom. Shit, Willa is coming, and I need a goddamned plan to get through this, right fucking now.
But how the hell do I tell her that I knew Ryan…and that I supposedly murdered him?
God…I’m fucked. Totally and utterly fucked.
Sixteen
Willa
I walk down the stairs feeling more than a little dejected. I quickly scanned through all of Nicolette’s drawers, I hunted under the bed, and I even dug around at the back of her wardrobe…all to find nothing. Nothing of interest, anyway, and nothing to give me any sort of clue about what’s been going on in her life during the time that I’ve missed.
I should have done all of this much, much sooner, and a wave of guilt washes over me.
I didn’t do it sooner because I was too afraid. I was messed up after Ryan’s violation of me, and I was too damn scared to do anything about it. I knew that I should and I really wanted to, but instead I succumbed to cowardice.
Well, never again.
At least I know my sister is alive now. If she wasn’t, I would be absolutely torn to pieces inside, and I would never be able to recover, not in a million years.
I silently make a vow to myself that I will never let fear control me again, and I intend to keep it. I’m afraid even as those words swim around in my mind, but determination is there as well, and that’s what I’ll focus on instead of the fear.
I expect to find Dexter searching in the front room, but he’s nowhere to be seen, and I glance around, unable to figure out if he’s even looked in here yet. Not a single thing is out of place. Remembering where everything was is probably something that I should have thought a little more about. It’s going to be quite obvious that I’ve been in my sister’s bedroom, invading her privacy, and I didn’t even think about that.
I am definitely not cut out for a life of crime.
As I wander into the kitchen, I see Dex shadowed in the corner. He has his back to me, but yet again I can see the tension flowing through him.
Oh, god. What the hell has he found?
I start to feel the fluttery sensation of panic flooding through my body. “Are…are you okay?” I ask, the tremor obvious in my voice. “Did you find something?”
When he doesn’t immediately turn around to face me and quash my fears, my anxiety shoots up another level, and it becomes full-blown terror. My stomach twists itself up into tight, coiled knots and my chest becomes icy, frozen with fear. I can barely feel my feet touching the floor anymore. It’s as if I’m floating off into uncharted territories.
No, no, no.
I think these words over and over in my head as I wrap my arms tightly around myself, trying to hold myself together. It’s too late, though. I’m already falling apart; I can just feel it.
“Is this…?” Dexter’s voice comes out hoarse, as if it hasn’t been used in a really long time. “Is this Ryan?”
I can hear a small break in the back of his throat as he speaks.
Ryan? Why the hell is he asking about Ryan?
I rush to his side, simultaneously not wanting to find out what he’s discovered and desperate to all at once. I snatch the picture from his hand, immediately spotting a photograph that was taken around the time I got together with Ben. Even though we’d been friends for a long time before any romance progressed, and we sort of fell into our relationship, I can already see the strain behind my eyes in the photo.
Why was I so determined to make it work with him when it was doomed to fail from the start? I was an idiot. I knew it wouldn’t work, even back then, but I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. Maybe I’m just too stubborn.
My eyes scan across and I see Nicolette with Ryan, and an involuntary shudder runs through my body. I didn’t know how bad things were back then.
She didn’t really tell me anything until after she’d started to get away from him, and now, seeing his smug face grinning from the photo makes me feel sick to my very core. How did all of this happen to my lovely, kind-hearted sister? She may not be perfect, but she never deserved any of that to happen to her.
Guilty tears prick at the back of my eyes. Every single damn day, I feel hideously awful that I left her behind in his clutches. I know that she told me to, but I still can’t believe that I really did that. I should’ve stayed. I should’ve helped. I should’ve done anything else. If I could go back in time, I would change absolutely everything.
The memory of her voice fills my ears.
"LEAVE! You have to go! He'll never leave us alone, can't you see that, Willa?"
"You'll never be safe here. Not with me."
"Get out!"
Why did I pay attention and do what she said? Why didn’t I argue with her and stay? She would’ve never left me behind anywhere, but I’d done it to her, and it’s the most selfish thing I could’ve ever done. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself.
I know I won’t.
It’s going to eat me up forever.
“I’m sorry, I know this must be hard for you,” Dex says.
He’s completely misinterpreting my emotional stare, and I don’t bother to correct him.
“I just…I need to know if that’s him,” he continues.
I tearfully nod. “It’s him.”
Then su
ddenly, I realize this picture means nothing to Dexter. Why does he need to know who Ryan is so badly? Unless…is it possible that he knows him? Oh fuck, is Dexter friends with Ryan? What will I do if that’s the case? I don’t even…
“I have something that I need to tell you,” he says, and I almost pass out. What if he tells me that Ryan is related to him? After everything I’ve told him…god, this is why you should never jump into bed with a man you barely know. This is why you should always keep your secrets to yourself.
I need a backup plan. I need to decide how I’m going to escape if it comes down to it…
Dexter interrupts my train of thought, saying something that makes so little sense it almost sounds alien. “This is him. This is the guy.”
“What?” I can barely get my words out now. The entire world is spinning around me, and I have no idea why.
“This is the guy I’m being hunted because of.” I furrow my brows in confusion, and when I still don’t get it, he explains it even more simply. “The guy that the police think I killed. It was him.”
I stagger backwards, grabbing onto the nearest part of the kitchen counter just to hold me upright. “What do you…?”
I can’t finish my sentence. I have no idea where I’m even going with it.
Killed? Does that mean that Ryan is dead? I feel a whole range of conflicting emotions about that. Of course I know that bastard doesn’t deserve to live, but hearing that someone you know has been murdered is just too weird, no matter who they were or what they did.
Did Dexter kill Ryan? Oh God, I’d been keeping thoughts of his possible guilt as far from my mind as possible, but now that I know Ryan is involved, it’s all come racing back.
“I don’t…” My voice is weak, barely there. “I don’t understand.”
A familiar voice suddenly screeches over the top of mine from somewhere beyond the kitchen. A voice that I’ve been waiting to hear for a very long time.
“What the fuck? What the hell’s going on here?”
It’s Nicolette, and she’s obviously just realized that the lock on the front door has been tampered with.
I dash into the front room, wanting to finally lay eyes upon my sister, and I force everything else into a little box in my mind. I need to prioritize, and right now, Nicolette is at the top of my list.
I see her walk through the door, pissed as hell about the damaged lock. She has better eyesight than me—I don’t think I ever would have spotted it. I grin to myself, glad to see this side of my sister seems to be back. I spent my entire life hiding in her sassy shadow, and it was heartbreaking to see it slowly vanish under Ryan’s spell.
“Nic?” I almost whisper. I don’t want her to be afraid or angry. I want her to know it’s me right away, and she’s not the sort of girl you surprise. She’s been through far too much for that.
She spins around to face me, sheer shock plastered all over her face. “Willa? Oh, fuck!”
She rushes over towards me, her arms open wide, ready to embrace me in a hug. I’m more than willing to fall against her, to let her wrap me up in her arms—after all, it’s what I’ve been aiming for, for a very long time. But instead, I remain stopped dead in the middle of the room, completely unable to stop staring at her. She looks different….very different. Her skin seems to have a glow to it, and she has a large, rounded stomach.
“You’re…?” I can’t even blurt the next word out; I’m too excited and overwhelmed.
“Yes.” She smiles, rubbing her belly. “You couldn’t tell last time I saw you, it was too early to…” She trails off, clearly remembering our last, dreadful meeting.
“How long?” I say before my eyes settle on the man that’s standing behind Nicolette in a protective stance. It’s Lucas. I recognize him from the photographs, but he has no idea who I am—yet I’m in his apartment with Dexter, and he hasn’t said a word.
I lift up my hand in a shy half-wave towards him, and he nods stiffly back. His body language is all centered towards my sister, and I’m happy to see that. He’s clearly in love with Nicolette and will do anything to ensure that she’s safe, and that’s good enough for me.
“I’m seven months along now.” She smiles brightly, her tears starting to dry up. She’s clearly over the moon to be having this baby, and I’m overwhelmed with happiness for her. It looks like her life is finally coming together. “Lucas and I can’t wait to meet our little man, can we?”
She smiles lovingly in her boyfriend’s direction, and that’s when the strip clubs owner’s words come back to haunt me. I can’t forget that she’s involved in something dangerous.
Nicolette can clearly tell from my expression that my thoughts have turned more serious, because she asks a question that opens up the can of worms.
“How did you find me?”
She sits down and indicates for me to move next to her, and I collapse down on the seat and grab her hand, grateful for the warmth of her skin next to mine. Dexter and Lucas awkwardly find somewhere to sit as well. I’m well aware that this situation must be really strange for the pair of them, but right now I don’t care. This isn’t about them. It’s about me and Nicolette reuniting and hashing everything out; getting it all out into the open where it needs to be if we’re ever going to move forward.
“I went to the club where you work.” I feel shy as I say this, because I know she isn’t going to like it.
“Well, obviously no one could tell you much. I haven’t been there for a while,” she says with a grin, gesturing to her swollen belly.
“No.” I choose my next words carefully. “Karma told me that you were with Lucas. I had to speak to the club owner to find out more.”
“You spoke to Adam?” Her tone is stern now, as if she’s about to scold me.
“Yes. He warned me to keep away, and he obviously didn’t really want to tell me anything.”
I’m trying to defend him and I’m not really sure why.
“No, no, it’s okay. He probably should’ve kept his mouth shut, but I’m glad that you’re here. Really.”
She looks worried.
“I wanted to let you know it was safe myself… but we’re going through some stuff and I didn’t want you involved. Let’s just say Adam isn’t my biggest fan at the moment,” she admits with a small laugh.
She seems distracted, as if this isn’t really what’s bothering her. “How?” she finally asks, looking directly at me.
“How what?” There are so many questions that start with this word, and I have no idea which one she means.
“How did you get to speak to Adam?”
Oh shit, that’s the last one I wanted it to be.
“I…”
“She auditioned.” Dexter interrupts me, clearly wanting to move this conversation along. “She danced and got invited to his office.”
Oh God, is he still pissed about that?
“Right.” Nicolette is obviously a little stunned at his admission. “I’m sorry, you are…?”
“This is my friend, Dexter,” I say, jumping in quickly. I’m not really sure that I’m ready to go down the whole ‘he might have murdered Ryan’ route just yet.
“I know you girls have a lot of catching up to do,” Dex continues, ignoring my obvious hints. “But there’s a lot of stuff that we really need to talk about as a priority.”
“Okay.” Nicolette nods, determinedly. “Yes, yes, you’re right.” She starts running her hands up and down her legs, proving just how nervous she is.
“Nic?” I ask, trying to draw her attention back to me. “Maybe you should just start by telling me what’s been going on since I last saw you?”
She nods, gripping my hands tighter. “I’m so sorry he was there that night,” she whispers. I shake my head, trying to hide my tears, but a stray one makes its way down my cheeks.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say in a strained tone. “All that matters is we’re both here.”
“I’d broken up with Ryan months before, but he just wouldn’t
let it go. Lucas and I had already been together for a while. I was already pregnant! But he just kept on coming for me.” She sighs deeply, a troubled expression on her face, and I gulp down a ball of fear that’s lodged in my throat. “When I sent you away that night, I really thought he was going to kill me.”
At these words, Lucas jumps up from his seat and walks out of the room. He clearly can’t stand to hear about this, which is understandable. That bastard Ryan nearly killed his girlfriend and could’ve also made her lose his child.
Nicolette watches him leave but doesn’t move to follow him. “I only managed to escape by chance. But then he came for me again.” She glances towards the kitchen, towards Lucas. “I mean, he really came for me.”
Tears fill her eyes, and she starts to gulp with sobs. “He was threatening me. He told me that he was coming for you, and he hit me. He hit me more than once.”
I gasp, wondering how much damage Ryan has actually done to my sister over time. I glance over to Dex, seeing the strain show on his face.
“Some man in a leather jacket pulled him off me, which gave me the chance to escape. I ran inside the strip club and hid out in Adam’s office. He really looked after me then. Despite what he is, he is a good guy. But…”
Nic sighs, looking down at her lap. “Adam and I used to… well, be involved. And when I met Lucas, I cut it off, and he didn’t take it too lightly. He refused to help me with this, and I guess I’m getting to the point of the whole story now. You need to know why I wanted you to stay away, Wills.”
My heart is pounding, and I feel a little nauseated. I don’t know how to cope with all of this. It’s too much. Everything links together, but I just haven’t quite figured out how yet.
“Lucas went out to try and get rid of Ryan to tell him to leave me alone forever. Only Ryan then went at him with a knife; a knife that was meant for me, for my baby. Things got…well, they got out of hand. Lucas didn’t mean to do it, I know he didn’t, but he accidentally…he killed Ryan.”
Wanted - Dead or Alive: A Bad Boy Outlaw Romance Page 9