by L Ann
Deacon and Cormac rounded the bed to stand behind him. In tandem, they reached out and placed a hand on his shoulders.
“Brother, we have your back. You have our strength and the strength of our pack. We will defeat this,” Cormac stated.
Deacon dropped to his haunches and bumped Shaun’s shoulder gently with his own. “We’re strongest together,” he murmured.
Cassie closed the door and leaned against it, letting her eyes close with a sigh. She’d never felt so tired, and the day wasn’t over yet.
They’d finally managed to get Shaun to return to the bed just in time for Chase to arrive and stitch him up. Cassie had sat beside him, his hand caught between both of hers in her lap. She’d been amazed at how little reaction he gave to Chase pulling a needle and thread through the stab wounds in his side. He lay without comment, drifting in and out of consciousness, his head resting against her thigh. At one point she thought he had completely succumbed to exhaustion … right until the door opened to allow a pack member Cassie had seen around but didn’t know the name of to enter. His eyes had snapped open and, his body went rigid. His brothers had moved as one to meet the newcomer and led him back out of the room.
“While, strictly speaking, we’re not wolves, “Chase had said, his voice casual, while he continued stitching. “There’s always that instinct of taking out anyone weaker. Some find it harder to control the drive than others, so when one of the pack is hurt, it’s best to keep those ones as far away as possible.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever fully understand it all,” she said, and felt Shaun squeeze her hand. She looked down to find him watching Chase.
“Most of it will be instinct,” he told her, and turned his head to nuzzle against her thigh. “You might want to leave for a while,” he suggested.
“What? Why?”
Chase looked up, his eyes sharp. “Is it starting already?”
Shaun grunted.
“Is what starting?” Cassie asked.
“Withdrawal,” Chase told her, his eyes lingering on Shaun. “Can you hold on for a few minutes longer? I’m almost done.”
“Will do my best,” Shaun said, and gritted his teeth.
There’d been less than a minute between Chase tying off the final stitch and Shaun losing the fight to stop his body shaking. Watching him battle the pain and hunger of his body demanding the drug he’d been given tore Cassie apart.
“Is there nothing we can do?” she pleaded with Chase, her worried gaze glued to Shaun where he arched off the bed, muscles and tendons stretched tight as he fought against the addiction.
“No.” Chase replied. “Not without finding a dealer and reducing the dose over time.”
“Know any belladonna dealers?” Deacon asked from the doorway.
She shook her head.
“That’s what I thought. So cold turkey it is then.”
As she watched Shaun, an idea teased at her. What had Shaun said about instinct? She glanced at Deacon and then returned to the bed, where Shaun thrashed and moaned.
“Shaun?” she climbed onto the mattress beside him, careful to avoid his flailing arms.
“Cassie, what are you doing?” Deacon asked.
“I’m trying something.” Catching one of his arms, she wrapped it around herself and lay beside him, pressing herself to his side.
“Cass,” he hissed her name. “Don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” she told him with a confidence she didn’t one hundred percent feel. “Let me help you.” She shifted her position, rolling forward, so she lay half on top of him. “Share how it feels with me.”
“No!” Shaun tried to push her away, but she held on, clinging to him.
“Stop fighting with me,” she told him. “You’ll pull your stitches. Just share it with me.” She twisted to look at Deacon. “Can I make him share it?”
Deacon shrugged. “Maybe? Depends how strong you are.”
It had taken a little while, but eventually she had figured out a way to crack his control over their connection. She’d feel guilty about it later, she knew, but she had waited until a particularly strong bout of withdrawal hit him and then she’d just mentally bashed her way through the blocks he had in place.
At first, she’d had to fight with him to stop Shaun from blocking her and then he’d thrown her a flat angry look and simply let her have her way. When the pain hit, she physically jerked and felt his arm snake around her, hauling her against his body.
“I told you to leave it alone,” he growled, but he couldn’t hide the relief he felt from her at the easing of the pangs.
“We can do this,” she’d whispered to him, and they lay wrapped together, riding the waves of his withdrawal until he fell into an exhausted sleep.
“Is he asleep?” Deacon’s gruff voice made her jump. Cassie opened her eyes and pushed herself away from the door. “Yes, I don’t know for how long, though.”
“You should sleep too, if you intend to do that again.”
“I’m going to do it every time until it’s no longer necessary,” she told him, glaring, and Deacon snorted an unwilling laugh.
“Well, aren’t you a proper little wolfling? Don’t get your hackles up, Blondie. I wasn’t going to tell you not to do it.” He patted her shoulder. “Go and get some sleep. I’ll bring some food up. He’ll be hungry when he wakes … and so will you.”
“What about those with … control issues?”
Deacon’s smile was cold. “Oh, don’t you worry yourself about them. We don’t have many, and you mightn’t see it, but you and Shaun are well protected. Sleep in peace, little wolf.” With gentle hands, he turned her to face the door, leaned past her to push it open and nudged her inside.
She’d obeyed willingly, crawling back onto the bed and curling up beside Shaun. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
The crash of shattering glass woke Cassie. Sitting bolt upright in the bed, she reached out to shake Shaun, only to find he wasn’t there. Another crash sounded from the bathroom, and she threw herself out of the bed and dashed across the bedroom carpet.
“Shaun?” she called, pushing the bathroom door open.
“Don’t come in,” he growled out. “There’s glass on the floor.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
Cassie frowned at the aggressive tone in his voice. “Shaun, what are you doing in there?”
“Nothing, I’ll be out in a minute.”
“If you’re doing nothing, then surely you can come out now?”
“Cassie …” There was a warning in his voice.
“You know there’s no belladonna in there, don’t you?”
He grunted but didn’t reply and Cassie nudged the door open wider. Shaun was sitting on the side of the tub, a towel wrapped around one hand. Her eyes swept around the room, landing on the medicine cabinet door, which was hanging off.
She tipped her head to the side. “What did the cabinet do to upset you?”
His head jerked up, eyes meeting her curious gaze before dancing away.
“Haven’t you shed enough blood over the last few days?” she asked, picking her way across the floor and settling beside him.
Shaun sighed. “Go back to bed.”
“Let me look at your hand.” She reached for the towel, and Shaun pulled away.
“Stop fussing,” he snapped. “Just go back to bed or find something else to do.”
Cassie let her hand drop. Chase had warned her there could be moments were Shaun tried to push her away, and she thought she’d been prepared, ready for them, but the sting his words caused told her a different story.
“You shouldn’t have stayed,” he said, abruptly. “This isn’t something you should be dealing with.” He lurched forward, uncaring of the glass, and fell to his knees before the toilet bowl. His body shuddered. “Please get out of here while you can.”
Cassie stood and walked up behind him, carefully gathering up his
hair and holding it back from his face as he vomited.
“I’m not walking away from you.” She stroked her hand across shoulders that felt clammy to the touch. “We’re going to get through this.”
“What if I don’t want to get through this?” he whispered, and she could feel the bleak despair coming off him in waves. “What if I want to go out and find another fix?”
“You won’t do that. You went a whole year without searching it out. This isn’t your doing, Shaun. You don’t want this.”
He reached back, grasped her fingers with his. “I don’t know what higher power put you in my path, but I’ll be forever thankful for it.”
When the vomiting subsided, and he leaned, weak and exhausted over the toilet, Cassie wrapped her arms around him.
“Can you stand? Let’s get you back in bed.”
He allowed her to help him to his feet and lead him to the sink, so he could rinse out his mouth. Leaning heavily against her, he brushed his teeth and took the slow walk back to the bed.
Cassie helped him lower himself to the mattress and pulled the covers around him. She reached for the towel still wrapped around his hand and carefully removed it. The blood from the small cuts had already dried.
“It’s nothing to worry about,” he told her. Tremors still wracked his frame and Cassie knew he was trying to hide the pain of withdrawal from her again.
“Shaun,” she whispered, sliding into the bed, winding her arms around him and pressing close. “You have to let me help you.”
“I don’t want you to –”
She leaned over him, pressed a kiss to his jaw and he turned his head toward the touch of her lips.
“That helps,” he murmured. “The feel of your skin on mine.” His eyes were hazy, cloudy with pain, when they locked on hers.
“I think you’re just looking for a reason not to let me in,” she told him, and he shook his head, his jaw clenching.
“One of the side effects is a heightened sensitivity.” He lifted an arm, turned it over and pointed a shaking hand to his wrist. She could make out faint scars beneath the tattoos. “Last time I cut myself as a distraction.”
“Is that why you punched the cabinet?”
“Yeah.” He fell silent, the tremors growing stronger.
Cassie reached out a hesitant hand, curved her palm over his bicep and he hissed out a breath. She snatched her hand back and Shaun rolled toward her.
“It’s fine, I promise,” he bit out. “Touch helps.”
Cautiously, she returned her hand to his arm, stroked a gentle path to his wrist and felt the taut muscles slowly relax under her touch. She followed the lines of his tattoos, her touch growing more confident as he leaned into her, his breathing easing until he eventually fell into a restless sleep.
The sun on his face woke him, and Shaun frowned, rolling away from the annoying brightness and right into a fragrance that tugged at a part of his body which had clearly woken up long before the rest of him. He cracked open one eye, located the source of the sweet scent and reached out a hand to pull the sleeping blonde-haired goddess into his arms.
She grumbled something, hands coming up to plant firmly against his chest, and Shaun chuckled – blonde-haired grumpy goddess, he amended silently.
Lowering his head, he buried his face into her hair and inhaled deeply. No pain, part of him noted. The hands on his chest moved and he smiled as they slid down and around his hips. He rolled until she was beneath him and moved his head until his mouth was aligned with hers.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“Hey yourself,” she replied, still drowsy.
“How do you feel?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” She yawned, stretched, and her body pressed against his in all the right places. “I was having the most wonderful dream.” Her fingertips ran up his spine.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmmhhmmm. There was this wolf Shifter who moved into town. Had the most amazing body …”
“Really? Tell me more.” His lips found the pulse beating at the base of her throat.
“Knew all the right moves.”
“Moves like this?” He lifted his weight onto one arm and used the other hand to stroke down her body.
“That was one of them. He had others.”
“How about this?” His fingers circled her nipple, stroking inwards before catching the hardened peak between thumb and forefinger and tugging gently.
Cassie made an appreciative sound in the back of her throat and Shaun smiled. “Or maybe this?” His mouth replaced his fingers, tongue laving slow, lazy circles over the responsive tip.
“Shaun!” She gasped his name and he raised his head. “Don’t tease.”
“But I like teasing you, especially when you react …” Two fingers slid between her thighs, pushing inside her ready heat and her back bowed, legs spreading wider … “just … like … that.”
Her fingers fell to the mattress, curling into the sheets. “God, yes!” she moaned.
Shaun dragged his tongue down her stomach, over her navel, down … down …
“Wait! Stop!”
Shaun froze, and tipped his head to look up her body, one eyebrow cocked.
“Are you okay?”
He flashed her a smile. “Better than.” His mouth returned to its path.
“Shaun, seriously,” she panted.
“I’m very serious.” His mouth brushed against her hip.
“No … wait.” He felt her hand tangle in his hair and impede his attempts to continue to his destination. “Last night was the worst withdrawal yet.”
He stilled, sighed, and crawled back up her body to flop beside her.
“Killjoy,” he complained. “I don’t know what to say, Goldilocks.” He shrugged his shoulders, turned his head, and a wide grin pulled at his lips. “I feel fucking awesome, better than I have in a long time.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he repeated. “Maybe it’s this mate thing, maybe the sharing of the pain. Which I’m still unhappy with you over, by the way.”
“It worked, though, didn’t it?”
“Not the point. You shouldn’t have had to experience that through me.” She curled into his side, resting her head against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her. “Yes, fine!” He continued, exasperated. “It worked. But it’s definitely not a recommended detox method.” Her lips pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Promise you won’t do it again,” he said.
“I can’t do that.” She lifted her head. “Do you really feel okay?”
“One hundred percent. Want me to prove it to you?”
It was almost lunch time before Shaun finally let Cassie escape their bed and agreed to go down to the kitchen to find food. The sound of raised voices reached them as they walked down the hallway and Shaun frowned, slowing his pace.
“That’s DJ …”
“And Gemma,” Cassie added. “Where are they?”
“Games room.” Shaun inclined his head toward the door they were closest to. “It’s the one room we haven’t soundproofed yet.” At her questioning look, he tapped his ear. “Heightened senses. Hearing, smell,” he leaned forward and stole a kiss, “taste and touch. Soundproofing gives us a slightly better chance of privacy. We could still probably hear a loud discussion if we stood outside the room, but it’s harder to overhear people accidentally.”
She nodded. “That makes sense.”
He led her past the room, glancing toward it with a worried frown but didn’t stop and kept a quick pace until they reached the kitchen. Cassie was relieved to find it empty and quickly started investigating the cupboards to see what was available to make into a meal.
“It’s good to see you up and around.” Cormac’s voice startled Cassie, and she jumped, banging her head on the shelf inside the cupboard.
Shaun chuckled quietly and shook his head. “We need to work on your spatial awareness, Goldilocks.”
“Your brother needs to wear a bell!”
she retorted. She chanced a glance at Cormac, but his expression didn’t change. “How do you move so quietly?”
“It’s easy when everyone around me makes so much noise.” He winked at Cassie as he strode past her and Cassie gaped at him in surprise.
“You’re looking very well today.” Cormac told Shaun, coming to a stop in front of him.
“I’m feeling very well, too,” Shaun replied, and quirked an eyebrow when Cormac motioned for him to stand up.
“Humour me,” his brother said, and Shaun rose to his feet. “I don’t need to ask how your stitches are healing, clearly,” he said, nodding toward his shirtless chest.
“Clearly,” Shaun repeated.
“When was your last episode?”
“Last night. It was pretty intense. I feel like it might have been the drug’s last-ditch attempt to keep a grip on me. Cassie helped … a lot.”
Cormac nodded. “Yes, she did.”
“For the record, though,” Shaun continued in the same conversational tone. “If it happens again, you keep her the fuck away from me. I won’t have her go through this again.”
“Hey!” Cassie protested, but both men ignored her.
“Noted and agreed. Simply make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“I’ll try and make it a priority.”
The brothers stared at each other, and then Cormac’s lips moved into a slight smile. “It’s good to have you back, brother.”
“Has there been any news on Damien or Scarlet?”
Cormac sighed and pulled out a chair. “Sit down.” He waited for his brother to settle back into his seat. “There’s no easy way to say this. We found Scarlet’s body a few miles from where we found you. Her throat had been ripped out.” He glanced over at Cassie. “Sam’s scent was all over the area.”
“You think Sam did it?” Cassie asked.
“It’s hard to say for certain, but he was definitely there.”
“What about Damien?” Shaun added.
Cormac shook his head. “He’s in the wind. Jaden tracked him to the county limits, then lost his scent. We will find him, Shaun. It’s just going to take time.”
“And we what? Look over our shoulders constantly until he’s found?”