by Ann Evans
“You all right in there?”
“Yeah.”
“Want to come out and talk to me?”
“No. Jeez, doesn’t anybody believe in privacy anymore?”
But in a few moments, the stall door opened and Tessa appeared. There was thunder in her eyes, along with a trace of tears. She’d tried to repair the damage to her mascara with tissue paper, but hadn’t done a very good job of it. As unnerved as Kari was by this situation, her heart went out to the girl.
“You know, don’t you?” Tessa said in an accusatory tone that trembled.
“What?” Kari replied, determined not to sound too much like a parent. “That you’re planning to get on that bus with Kyle?” She nodded. “I suspected it when I saw the backpack with the little fairy keychain. Definitely not his type.”
“Don’t try to talk me out of it.”
Kari crossed her arms and scowled. “Oh, sure. Like I can go back to the lodge and say to your father, ‘Oh, by the way. I saw Tessa run off with Kyle this afternoon. That’s not a problem, is it?’ You think he was cranky toward me before?”
She’d hoped to get a smile from the girl, but evidently it wasn’t going to be that easy. Tessa flung her tissue in the trash, then swung around on Kari so sharply that her long, dark hair slapped across her face.
“If you keep me from doing this, I’ll just find some other way to meet up with him. You can’t stop me. No one can.”
She was probably expecting Kari to panic at that. She almost did. Somehow she said calmly, “If you’re really that determined, then I suppose that’s true. But why? What’s Kyle got that the other boys you know don’t have?”
“He likes me. A lot.”
“Oh, come on. A pretty girl like you doesn’t have any other boys after her? I doubt that. Is it just because he’s forbidden fruit?”
“Huh?”
“The fruit that’s just out of reach often seems the sweetest. Do you like him just because you can’t have him? Because your father doesn’t seem to like him?”
That got a reaction. Tessa tossed her purse down on the vanity. She gave Kari a hot look in the mirror. “I don’t care what my father thinks.”
“Why not?”
“Because he doesn’t care anything about me! I’ve always suspected that Mom doesn’t really want me messing up her life, but I never thought Dad—” She broke off, then started again. “He’s just like her. He wouldn’t be a bit sorry if I just disappeared off the face of the earth.”
The words sent chilling fear and despair up Kari’s spine. How could she ever hope to get through to the girl if her anger with Nick went this deep? She thought of the conversation she and Nick had shared yesterday, all his fears for his daughter so obvious to her. Oh, this foolish, foolish child! How could she believe her father didn’t care?
Kari caught a breath and calmed her annoyance. She went to the sink and stood slightly behind Tessa, who was only making her waterlogged mascara worse with a handful of fresh tissues. She put her hands on each of the girl’s shoulders. “You’re so wrong, Tessa,” she said. “How can I make you see that?”
“You can’t. I know he doesn’t care about me. He might want to control me, but he doesn’t care about me.”
“How do you know?”
There was a sharp knock on the door. Kyle’s voice was nervous and impatient. “Tessa! Are you coming out?”
“In a minute,” Tessa yelled.
“Tessa, I can’t really speak for your mother’s feelings, but how can you think your father doesn’t care about you?” Kari repeated.
The teenager sniffed, opened her purse and withdrew a folded piece of paper. “Today is trash day. The night before, Dad always bags up the trash in the kitchen and puts it in the bin outside. That’s his routine. He never, never forgets.”
“And?”
She held out the paper. “Last night I put this right on top of the trash. He couldn’t miss it.”
Kari took the paper, unfolded it and discovered that it was actually a brochure. A gynecological flyer about methods of birth control and how your body adjusts to them.
Uh-oh, Kari thought. How had Nick taken to such a clear indication that his little girl was growing up? Not well, she’d bet.
She handed the flyer back to Tessa. “Well, that’s one way to break the news, I suppose.”
“You don’t understand,” Tessa said with exaggerated patience. “That’s not why I did it. I’m not having sex.”
“So then why…?”
“I know Dad saw this because it had been moved to the kitchen counter. But do you know what he said about it?”
Kari could think of all kinds of things, but none of them fit for a teenager’s ears. “What?”
“Nothing.”
She had to admit, that surprised her a little. “And you think that somehow means your father doesn’t care about you?”
“How could he? You know parents are always looking for signs that their kids are doing drugs or getting drunk or going off the deep end. But I guess Dad really doesn’t care. He didn’t say one word. I could be going to a hotel, having orgies, and he wouldn’t care.”
Kari snorted. “He knows you’re not the kind of girl to do that. Even I know that.” She turned Tessa around so that she could have the girl’s full attention. “Oh, Tessa, you’re so wrong,” she said softly. “I don’t know much when it comes to how parents and children are supposed to interact. But I do know your father is worried about you. Maybe he hasn’t always done or said the right thing, but I’ve heard in his voice how much he loves you. I’ve seen it in his face—the way he lights up when he talks about you. I’m a journalist. I know how to read people. You’re the most precious thing in the world to him.”
Tessa shook her head wildly, fresh tears streaming down her face. “No, I’m not. Maybe once. He used to read me stories and teach me how to ride a bike and pretend to like playing Barbies. Now he hardly ever wants to be with me.”
“Weren’t you just complaining to me the other day because your father wouldn’t give you more freedom? You can’t have it both ways, Tessa.”
She blew her nose loudly. “I’m not asking for that. There’s a difference between wanting to run my life—that control-freak thing he’s got going on—and wanting to spend time with me. I’m his daughter, but he doesn’t seem to want me around—” Her voice broke in two, like a hard piece of sugar. “He didn’t need Mom. And he doesn’t need me. Kyle does.”
As though he’d been summoned, Kyle poked his head around the bathroom door. He looked annoyed and worried. “Tessa, the bus is here! Come on.”
“I’m coming!” she said with a sudden, harsh show of spirit.
Kyle disappeared without another word.
Tessa faced the mirror again and grimaced as she surveyed the damage to her makeup. “Kyle is going to think I’m such a freak. And a big baby.”
Kari felt the first stirrings of absolute terror. If she couldn’t talk the teenager into staying behind, what was she supposed to do? Call the police? Make a flying tackle as the girl walked toward the bus?
Splashing water on her face, Tessa wiped off the last of the mascara, then dried her hands. With a sigh, she swung around to face Kari.
Kari took her forearm, wishing she could shake some sense into her, but afraid to come on too strong. “Tessa,” she said, reduced to begging. “Please. Talk to your father. Don’t do this. You’ll break his heart.”
“That won’t happen. He doesn’t get hurt like you and me. He’s tough. He just…keeps it all inside. Like when Mom left.”
Kari shook her head. “Nobody pulls off that trick forever, sweetie. Sooner or later, pain always takes its toll. Can you really do that to your father?”
Fresh tears welled. One, dislodged from the rim of her eye, slid down Tessa’s cheek. With the back of a hand, she wiped it away ruthlessly. “Why are you making this so hard? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
Was it possible that her voice didn’t c
arry the same weight of confidence it had earlier? “Because I care about you, too. I know what it’s like to have a father you don’t always understand. But if you do this, you might not get a second chance to make it right again. Can you live with that?”
The girl stared at her for a long moment. Then she rolled her eyes and huffed out a disgusted breath. “We’re not running away to get married. I just want to stay with Kyle at his dad’s for a while. Just be together. But you’re ruining everything!”
Suddenly she snatched her purse off the vanity and shoved past Kari, who followed her out of the bathroom at a quick pace.
“Damn it, Tessa,” Kari said. “Tessa, stop—” She faltered as the teenager rushed to catch up with Kyle, who was gathering luggage. In the bay, Kari could see that the bus had come. “Oh, God,” she muttered under her breath. “Oh, God.”
Now what? What should she do?
Kyle’s eyes cut quickly to Kari and then back to Tessa. “You ready to go?”
Tessa picked up her backpack and slung it over one shoulder. “Actually, Kyle…no. I should have known I couldn’t. You’d better go without me.”
TESSA REMAINED QUIET and sullen all the way up the mountain. Kari noticed that her grip on the armrest was so tight that her knuckles were nothing more than white ridges.
Kari reached a hand across the distance that separated them and squeezed the girl’s fingers. “It will be all right. You’ll see. And I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
Tessa’s mouth flattened into a grim line as if she didn’t believe that, but she nodded as if she wanted to.
When they pulled up in front of Nick’s cabin, the teenager swore under her breath. Nick’s Jeep was in the drive. “Dad’s home,” she said, as if that fact spelled certain disaster.
In the next moment Nick came striding out the front door, car keys in hand and such a stormy look on his face that even Kari swallowed hard. When he saw the van, and Tessa in it, a moment of genuine relief crossed his features. Then he made a beeline toward them. As the girl slid from the vehicle he stopped and planted himself right in front of his daughter.
“What the hell’s going on, Tessa?” he demanded. “Why were you at the bus station?”
Tessa gasped. “How did you know that?”
“Because Becky Tindall’s mother just called. Becky did the smart thing and confessed that you were leaving town with Kyle Cambridge. You want to start explaining? It had better be good.”
Kari had hurried around the front of the van, desperate to keep the situation from escalating out of control. “Nick, wait a minute—”
“Stay out of this, Kari,” Nick said, stopping her with one outstretched hand. “I’m waiting, Tessa.”
His daughter’s mouth worked vigorously before she mastered enough control to get the words out. “I’m not explaining anything to you!”
She pulled open the back door of the van, yanked her luggage off the seat and stormed past her father. The front door slammed hard enough to make a statement. Nick was only steps behind her.
Kari caught up with him on the porch, pulling hard on his arm to bring him up short. “Nick, for God’s sake, stop. Will you just listen?”
He swung around, jaw tight, nostrils flaring as though he couldn’t take in enough air. “What’s the story? Was she at the bus station?”
“Yes.”
“With Kyle?”
“Yes. But obviously she didn’t go with him.”
“Because you talked her out of it?”
“She changed her mind. I think secretly she wanted to be persuaded.”
He shook his head as if he were a dazed boxer trying to avoid a knockout punch. After a moment he said in a more controlled tone, “Thank you for that. I’m sorry to have involved you.”
“What are you going to do now?”
He tossed a look back toward the cabin. “I’m not sure. But something unpleasant.”
She grabbed his forearm, shaking it gently. “Don’t go in there and read her the riot act.”
“Why not, damn it? The little brat scared the crap out of me.”
“Because it won’t work.”
He arched a dark brow. “I thought you were the one who would make a horrible parent. Suddenly you’re an expert?”
She looked at him in exasperation. “If I didn’t care so much about Tessa, I’d go back to the lodge and let you crash and burn. But I do so I’m going to overlook that remark. I talked to her, and I’ll tell you what I think is the root of all this. Tessa believes you don’t care about her.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he snapped.
“Of course it is. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t think it’s true.”
“Why would she?”
“She left a flyer in the trash. About methods of birth control.”
“Hell, yes. It nearly stopped my heart when I saw it.”
“She says she’s not having sex. Probably not even thinking about it. Yet.”
“Thank God for that at least.”
“Why didn’t you ask her about it?”
“And say what? I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“So you just ignored it and went off to Denver to pick up supplies?”
He made an irritated, impatient movement. “I didn’t go to Denver. I’ve spent the afternoon with Leslie Meadows, an old family friend. She’s a nurse, and I thought she could talk to Tessa. Explain…you know.” He exhaled a harsh breath and rammed a hand through his hair. “Birth control. God in heaven, how am I supposed to deal with something like that?”
She felt a ridiculous sense of relief to know that he wasn’t really as neglectful as Tessa had painted him. “That’s a start,” she said, almost to herself. “Maybe you’re not completely hopeless.”
“Do you have anything more you want to add?” Nick asked, scowling.
“Just this. Tessa mentioned several times that, unlike Kyle, you don’t seem to need her anymore. You seldom spend time with her. Why is that? Are you too busy for your own daughter?”
“Of course, I’m busy, but—” He broke off, shifting slightly. He studied her with narrowed eyes, his expression stern. Finally he said, “The truth is, I don’t know how to be around her anymore. When Denise left, Tessa was still just a kid. It was easy. But have you looked at her? She’s almost a young woman. Everything she does and says and thinks is foreign. I don’t know the language, and there’s no woman around to teach it to me.” He grimaced. “So I back off. Maybe more than I should, but…” He hesitated. Then he seemed to come to some decision. “I’m going to talk to her,” he said, pivoting on his heel.
She made another grab for his shirtsleeve and refused to release it. He turned his head, frowning at her. “I’ve heard you, Kari, and I appreciate what you did. Now I have to get this straightened out.”
“Nick, please,” Kari said. “Don’t talk. Listen. That’s what she really needs and wants from you.”
He gave her a short nod and pulled away. There wasn’t anything else she could do.
She watched him go, praying for Tessa to be receptive and Nick to be wise.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SAM LAY IN BED and watched her undress.
He knew all of them by heart, these little rituals of Rosa’s, developed over thirty-five years of sharing the same bedroom, the same life.
Fresh from the bathroom and the scented steam of her shower, she’d slip quietly around the room in her nightgown, gathering up clothes for the hamper. Then one hundred strokes of the brush against the black silk of her hair, until it crackled with life. Finally, lotion massaged into every finger and joint, across the backs of her hands. Rosie was vain as a peacock about them. They were beautiful.
He felt longing tug at him, the need so strong that he had to grit his teeth to keep from crying out. He wanted her, wanted an end to this terrible aching emptiness. Just the thought of never knowing his wife intimately again made something rip away inside him.
It was emasculating. How could Rosa tormen
t him this way? Didn’t she know he couldn’t lie here night after night after night, doing nothing, being nothing? A piece of furniture had more presence in this room than he did.
With his good hand, he played with the automatic control that raised the head of his bed. First up, then down, then back up again when he couldn’t get it just right. Frustration tore through him.
“Do you want me to do it?” his wife asked without ever turning around.
Enough!
“When I die,” he told her in a tone determined to shock, “you’ll be remarried before six months pass.”
She looked over her shoulder at him, a questioning little frown marring her forehead. Recapping the hand lotion, she got up slowly and came to his bedside, perching on the edge of the mattress.
She took his hand and brought it to her lips. “When you die,” she said softly, placing a kiss against each one of his fingertips, “I will mourn your loss forever.”
“Ha! As if Burt Wickham will let that happen. He’s had his eye on you for years. I’ll bet he burns candles, praying I kick the bucket soon.”
She smiled at him indulgently. “If he prays about you at all, it’s that you’ll quit harassing him about the need for a stoplight on Whisper Mountain Road.”
“Don’t be so quick to turn him down. You’ll miss the chance to be a mayor’s wife,” he said, although he had to admit it was a poor argument. Wife to the mayor of Broken Yoke was hardly noteworthy.
“Ah, well,” she said with a shrug. “I think I can live without such glamour and fame. Besides, I like the life I have here.”
Well, I don’t.
He pulled his hand from her grasp. “Fine. Do as you please. I’ll be long gone anyway.”
“Sam?” Rosa said, tilting her head to one side. “Is something bothering you tonight?”
“What could be bothering me? I’m all tucked in bed tighter than the skin on a grape. Pillows all fluffed. Medication close by. All I need now is one of those little mirrors you can put under my nose every so often to see if I’m still breathing.” He realized he’d said more than he’d meant to. Worse, it had come out like a child’s whine. Disgusted with himself, he straightened the blanket across his chest, then slapped his hands down and closed his eyes. “Good night!”