by Ann Evans
Annoyed that his father simply refused to leave the subject alone, Nick decided it was time to get tough. He turned toward Sam.
“What was I supposed to do, Pop? Tie her up and keep her here against her will? Beg her to stay? What kind of happiness would that have brought either of us? I learned my lesson when I was married to Denise. You keep someone in a relationship they don’t really want, and no one wins.”
“You don’t know she couldn’t have been happy here,” Sam said stubbornly.
“I know she wants adventure and thrills in her life. In case you haven’t noticed, around here we’re a little short in that department.”
“You’re a stubborn fool, son,” his father said. “Kari is a rare gem, and you’re going to make one of the biggest mistakes of your life just because you won’t take a chance. A ship is safest in the harbor, Nick, but it’s not meant for that.”
He subsided into sulky, indignant silence.
Nick took a ragged breath, unwilling to discuss it any further. He needed something else to occupy his mind, something to blot everything out. Memories of that one night in his bedroom were always lurking just beneath the surface, sharp as a knife.
Kari had been a demanding, tempestuous lover, tantalizing him slowly, encouraging him wildly. Her movements had taken the last of his control away, until he’d stretched out on her, his body flat and pressing hard, until he imagined he could feel every feminine muscle, every tiny bone. He went deeper and deeper, plunging inside her so suddenly, so completely, that a long, uncontrollable shiver of passion had passed through them both.
He had known it could only be temporary that night. He had wanted to make the experience something she would never forget. To brand his imprint on her thoroughly, so that she would always remember him and those hours.
Instead, the truth, unadorned and ugly, was that he was the one who couldn’t seem to cure himself of remembering every tiny detail. He lived for only one thing now. A day when he could cut Kari Churchill as cleanly from his heart as she had swept him from hers.
“So what do you think?” a voice said beside him, and Nick came out of his reverie to discover that Addy had joined them.
His gut twitched in fresh irritation. His sister was even worse than Pop. Over the past few days she’d taken him to task half a dozen times for allowing Kari to leave. As if all he’d had to do was tell her not to go.
“What do I think about what?” Nick asked cautiously.
“You don’t listen to a thing I say,” she complained.
“That’s because you’re like a broken record lately.”
“Tell him again, Adriana,” Sam interrupted, obviously Addy’s willing accomplice. “Maybe he’ll actually hear you this time.”
Addy sighed. “I said, the TV’s been running a lot of coverage about that treasure ship. It’s the perfect excuse to call Kari. You could find out how she is. See if she’s happy. See if she misses us at all. It would open the lines of communication between the two of you again. What do you think?”
He wanted to strangle her. And Pop, too. Why couldn’t everyone in this family leave well enough alone?
Nick gave her a hard look. “I think you ought to mind your own business.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Well, don’t. The last time you interfered in my decisions I ended up short one helicopter.” He touched her sling. “And you ended up in that.” He looked around for an excuse to leave them and found it when the band’s microphone made a screeching whine right in the middle of “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes.”
“I need to check the sound system,” he said, and headed off across the lawn before either of them could stop him.
He could avoid them for the rest of the day, but if he knew those two schemers, they’d soon call for reinforcements—maybe Mom and the Zias. He’d go down to the heliport in a few minutes. Work out his frustration by replacing Raven Two’s fuel line.
He’d almost made it to the speaker setup when a hand came down on his arm. He swung around, not in the mood for any more advice. “What?”
“Hi, Dad,” Tessa said. Then, taking one look at him, she asked quickly, “What’s wrong?”
His face relaxed into a smile. Who would have guessed that his daughter, once such a worrisome problem, would be the only one in this family who wasn’t driving him crazy right now?
“Nothing, sweetheart,” he replied in a calmer voice. Then he lifted a questioning brow. “Unless you’re going to try to talk me into calling Kari.”
Her nose scrunched, making her look very young. “Do you want me to?”
“No,” he said firmly.
She held out her hand, giving him the sweetest smile. “Then would you like to dance? I need practice for the homecoming dance.”
“I’d be delighted,” Nick said, seizing on that idea with desperate gusto.
He pulled Tessa into his arms. They’d been making headway in their relationship lately, and if nothing else in his life seemed sane and normal, at least there was hope for the two of them.
She looked pretty today, animated and fresh-faced. He supposed it had something to do with the fact that he’d finalized arrangements with Denise that would allow Tessa to visit her mother in Boston. “Are you happy about spending some of Christmas break with your mom?”
Unexpectedly, his daughter shrugged, a lackluster response. “I guess.”
“Your mother’s eager to see you—”
“Dad, it’s okay,” she said quickly, halting his automatic defense of Denise. “I know Mom goofs sometimes. And I know you try to make it right so I don’t get hurt.”
He felt a tightness inside his throat and his belly and chest. No matter how he had failed with Denise, they had produced this beautiful child. “I love you, Tess.”
She grinned. “I love you, too, Dad.” They moved around the dance floor a little while, then Tessa tilted a glance at him. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“I was hoping you’d ask Kari to stay. I wanted you to.”
He jerked back a little. “You did?”
“Uh-huh. I think she would have been good for you. And I liked her a lot. But I’m not really surprised you didn’t.”
“Why not?”
Her dark eyes, so like his own, glittered. “Because just like Nonno Sam says, sometimes D’Angelos have more pride than sense.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RIGHT UP UNTIL the moment Kari stepped out of the rental car in the Lightning River Lodge parking lot, she had been sure she was doing the right thing.
She knew how she felt about Nick. With absolute certainty, she knew.
But now, walking up the sun-dappled driveway, she was suddenly struck by how many ways it could all go wrong. The pretty, optimistic pictures she’d painted in her mind on the plane back from Jamaica began to run into a jumble of water-colored fantasies that could not be trusted.
Suppose she’d misread every look and touch? Suppose by leaving here she’d ruined any chance for a future? What if he simply didn’t want her in his life? A shiver whistled through her. There was no way to think about any of it without touching upon something frightening.
She ordered a halt to such negative thoughts, resolving to lay off this bad habit of doubting herself. She had come all this way. There was only one thing to do. If she let fear and pride stop her now, it would be her own fault. No doubt about it.
The crowded party on the front lawn of the lodge caught her attention—it must be the Graybeal wedding. It looked to be a success, with people laughing and eating and dancing, and the newlyweds hanging on to one another as if they’d been welded together.
And then she saw Nick.
He was dancing with Tessa, near the edge of the portable dance floor in front of the band. A sweet flicker of pleasure went through her at the sight of him. When he bent his head to catch something his daughter said, then laughed, that flicker turned into a fire, licking at her insides. Just seeing him again�
��all that pure, masculine grace and power—made her take a mental step backward.
She lost sight of him. As she craned her neck to spot him again, someone touched her arm and she turned.
“Oh my God, it is you!” Addy said beside her.
Sam was just behind Addy. Whatever Kari feared Nick’s reaction might be, there was no doubt in her mind about how these two felt about Kari’s return. Their eyes were sparkling, their smiles wide enough to shame a shark.
The two women hugged one another. “After making all those darned candy baskets, I had to see how the wedding turned out,” Kari said. She slid a glance back to the dance floor, hoping to spot Nick again.
“When did you arrive?” Addy asked excitedly. “How long can you stay? Does Nick know you’re here?”
Before Kari could answer any of those questions, Sam tugged on his daughter’s sleeve. “Adriana, hush up. Can’t you see she’s not here for us?” He made a shooing motion toward the dance floor with his good hand. “Go on, girl. They’ve been dancing a long time. Tessa could probably use a break. And if that son of mine says anything at all objectionable, you come get the two of us. We’ll settle his hash once and for all.”
Giving them both a smile of thanks, Kari headed for the dance floor. She was so focused on Nick that she barely registered anything else. She was hardly aware of the tinkle of laughter around her, disinterested in the swell of achy music as the band began a new tune, oblivious to the sharp scents of autumn that promised frost before the week was through.
She wove through the crowd, coming up beside Nick and Tessa. Before he was aware of her presence, she tapped the girl lightly on the arm. “Mind if I cut in?”
Her eyes never strayed from Nick, but she heard Tessa’s gasp of surprise. “Kari!” the girl exclaimed. “You’re back!”
“I couldn’t stay away,” she said. “May I borrow your father for this dance?”
“Sure. Cool.” The teenager gave Kari a hopeful smile and then quickly disappeared into the crowd.
During that short exchange Kari was aware that Nick had not moved. Not a centimeter. He stood staring at her with startling intensity, as though he were assessing her from the inside out. Her heart began to beat so high in her chest that she would have to clear her throat to talk.
She put her hand up in an invitation. When he didn’t take it right away, she said, “I think I should warn you. If you make a scene, or refuse to be nice, D’Angelo reinforcements will be all over you like the Indians at Little Big Horn.”
She’d hoped for at least a smile, but Nick didn’t even blink. His eyes held hers captive, but the awful stillness of his features tore at her heart.
She ruffled her fingers. “Come on, Nick. It’s just a dance, not the end of the world.”
He took her fingers in his, then she slipped into his arms. He kept her at a polite distance, she noticed. As if they were strangers.
“Tessa looks well,” she said.
“She’s fine.”
“How are you two getting along?”
“Better.”
So they were back to minimalistic conversations, too. Not good. But she wasn’t going to allow him to lapse back into that kind of non-communication. She’d come too far to be turned aside so easily. Even anger was better.
Deliberately, she moved her hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck, and pressed closer to him, whether he wanted her to or not.
Laying her cheek against his chest, she sighed. “This is nice,” she said softly. “When I was in Jamaica, I fantasized about doing this.” She touched her lips against his throat in a gentle kiss and felt his heartbeat, strong and fast. “Tell me you missed me.”
He made a little sound and pulled away. He didn’t turn loose of her hand, however. Instead he said, “Come with me. We can’t do this here.”
Do what? she wanted to ask. Fight? Kiss?
He wove between other couples on the dance floor and she followed in his wake. He led her along the trail that edged the lake, finally stopping at the same spot where they had once worked together to repair the fence. Leaning against the log railing, he waited while a few stragglers from the reception strolled by. Music and laughter drifted to them on a light breeze, but the air still seemed to throb with tension. It felt as though an ocean of space lay between the two of them.
When the guests were out of earshot, Nick crossed his arms and tilted his head at her. “Why did you come back here, Kari?” he asked in a gruff tone. “What do you want?”
His eyes seemed like such a shut door, so much so that for a brief moment she considered telling him something other than the truth. But she couldn’t allow herself the luxury of indecision. Too much was at stake here. She swallowed hard and came toward him, stopping when no more than a couple of feet separated them.
“I suppose,” she said slowly, “I could lie or pretend. Make up something that might sound plausible—though what that would be I can’t imagine. But I promised myself that I wouldn’t do that.” She bit her bottom lip. “I came back here for you, Nick.”
His reaction threw her completely. His features remained blank, a mask she couldn’t penetrate. She felt a drowning sensation creep into her soul, a powerless sinking beneath forces she might be unable to fight.
In spite of shivering inside, she said, “I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm than this.”
He scowled. “You came back…for me.” It was a statement, not a question. He spoke briskly, stripping the words of any emotional content.
She took a deep breath, determined now. “I guess I mean, for us. That night in your bedroom—I realized that I didn’t want it to ever end. It meant something to me, and I want to believe that it meant something to you, too. I can’t explain it, or understand it. I know it wasn’t just sex. When I was with you, I felt like I’d finally found something worth fighting for, something I’ve been looking for all my life.” She lifted her chin. “So that’s why I’ve come back.”
“You shouldn’t have,” was all he said.
The shivering threatened to become an icy paralysis. “Why?”
“You can’t be happy here.”
“I think I should be the one to make that decision.”
He shifted, as though annoyed. “What about your career? All those thrills you want?”
“I’ve thought about that. A lot. These past few days I’ve watched a fortune in jewels and gold being brought up from the bottom of the sea. But that’s all I did, Nick. I just stood by and watched. They weren’t my adventures. They weren’t my thrills. They belonged to someone else.”
“You’re still a part of it.”
“I get to be an observer for a little while. Then it’s over. So how have I enriched my life? What have I gained? Nothing.”
“So this assignment wasn’t the perfect one,” he said with a shrug. “A new thrill, a new adventure, will come along sooner or later. You need that in your life, Kari.”
“I thought I did,” she conceded. “I used to dream of going with my father, and I was so angry with him for refusing to take me with him. But I’ve finally figured it out, Nick. I wasn’t angry with him for going to those places. I was angry with him for refusing to stay home. With us. Refusing to be a real family.” She studied him, hoping that she was getting through to him somehow. “Don’t you see? There’s no adventure waiting for me out there that can compare to being here. With you. If you’ll just let me.”
“There’s no adventure here,” he said with a shake of his head. “There’s only work and commitment and so many mundane tasks that even I want to chuck it all sometimes. But this is the life I’ve made for myself and my daughter. This is who I am.”
“And that’s the man I fell in love with,” she said a little desperately. “I’m not saying it would be easy. I’m not saying we’d get it right all the time. But I want to try.” She looked at him closely. “Just tell me this. Do you love me at all?”
He made a frustrated sound and looked away for a moment. “God
, Kari…the things you say.”
“I know this may be sudden,” she added quickly and moved closer. “I can hardly believe I’m asking. But I don’t believe it’s wrong to say these things. I can’t lose by loving. I can only lose by holding back.” She touched his sleeve. “Couldn’t we try to work something out?”
“No.”
She stood frozen, in quiet shock. When she finally found her voice, the words came out so softly, they were almost a whisper. “You’re saying no, then.”
She stood taut and trembling, her knees gone weak. She had to get away from here before she disgraced herself completely. She started to turn, but Nick’s fingers closed around her arm.
“I’m saying no. I don’t want to try. I don’t want to experiment with a relationship. I want to marry you.”
With a gasp, she lifted her head. “Marry me?”
“Don’t tell me that for once I’ve finally left you speechless,” he said with a half smile.
“I’m sorry. It’s just—I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Kari—” His voice was soft and textured, his features serious once more. “Everything you’ve said about that night in my bedroom holds true for me. I knew it then. I know it now. I love you. I’ve loved you for so much longer than I could ever admit to anyone. Including myself.”
“Then why did you let me go?”
“I thought you wanted your father’s life. How could I hold you back?”
She went into his waiting arms. “Oh, Nick, I’ve learned so much lately. About what’s really important. I can’t bear to think of making the same mistakes my father and mother did. They loved one another, but they wouldn’t work together to save their marriage.”
He coasted his hand along her cheek. “I want you to be happy here, Kari. I want us both to be happy, with no regrets, ever. You need to be sure about this.”
She laid her head against his chest, hearing his heartbeat thunder in her ears. “Do you remember that day in the kitchen, when your father told me how he had saved your mother from the river?”