by Liz Harris
He caught her arms and pulled her to him.
Tilting her face towards his, he cupped it in his hands. For a long moment, neither moved, each gazing deep into the eyes of the other, their hearts thudding loudly, their breaths swift and shallow.
Then she took a step closer to him. Pressing her body against his, she slid her hands under his jacket, and ran her fingers across his lean chest, flooding his body with desire.
Blood thundered in his head, in his groin. ‘Oh, Charity,’ he groaned, and he brought his mouth hard down on hers.
‘I reckon we should plan on gettin’ wed in a couple of weeks, and leave Carter straight after,’ Joe said as they made their way down the side of the rocky outgrowth. ‘It’s Tuesday today. If we marry a week on Monday, as early in the day as the priest will do it, assuming he’ll do it, and then head north at once, we should be pretty far from Carter by sundown.’
‘So we’re definitely goin’ to the north of Wyoming, are we?’ she asked, clinging to his arm.
‘Yup. We’ll skirt round the south of Sheridan and head for one of the valleys due east of the town. The grass there is as green as it can be, and there are acres of land just waitin’ to be staked. With mountains around there’s plenty of water, and you’ll see fruit trees and flowers you’ve never seen before. Watercress grows wild along the rivers, and there are thickets of chokecherries and huckleberries just there for the pickin’.’
‘It sounds perfect,’ she said, her voice trembling with excitement.
‘It is. When I was last that way, we passed through a small town that was just startin’ up, and that’s the place we’ll head for. We need to be near somewhere like that so’s we can get our provisions. While I was there, I saw a white man walkin’ along the street with an Injun woman at his side, and no one was bothered. That’s a place we can live in.’
‘Where’ll we sleep when we’re travellin’?’
‘In the wagon for the first three weeks or so as it’d be too risky to get a room. But you’ll like sleepin’ beneath the stars. It’s a special feelin’. And we’ll get the water we need from rivers and streams. Once we’re far away from any minin’ towns, we should be able to stop the night in a roomin’-house. It’s two dollars a night for a room, and two bits extra if they bring hot water up to us.’
‘How long will it take to get where we’re goin’?’
‘Around seven weeks, I reckon.’ He grinned down at her. ‘We’ll do what we do when drivin’ cows – we’ll go as far as possible in the first few days to put as much ground as we can between us and Carter, and then we’ll go at a slower pace. But we must make sure not to push the horses too far without a break, or let them get winded – it’s not like on a drive where we’ve got remuda horses to swap with, and our horses will be pullin’ a wagon.’
She nestled closer to him, feeling the hard muscle beneath his jacket. Every nerve in her body tingled. ‘I can’t wait for us to be wed, Joe,’ she breathed.
He tightened his hold on her. ‘Nor can I,’ he said. ‘I wanna kiss you so badly right now, but it’s too close to town and someone might see. But once we’re away from this part of Wyoming, we’ll be free to do whatever we want.’
‘I’m scared,’ she blurted out, glancing up at him. ‘So much could go wrong.’
‘Trust me, I’m scared, too. We’d be loco not to be, things bein’ as they are. But if I didn’t think it could work, I wouldn’t suggest it. I couldn’t bear it if anythin’ bad happened to you.’
The bridge came in sight. Instinctively, they dropped their arms and drew apart.
‘Your folks will miss you,’ she said as they started walking across the bridge. ‘I hate to think of them hurtin’; they’ve been real good to me.’
‘We mustn’t tell them what we’re plannin’ on doin’,’ he said quickly, alarm in his voice. ‘No one must know. We’ll leave them a note to find when we’re gone.’
She frowned slightly. ‘What if they see me gettin’ my things together, and guess we’re leavin’?’
He shook his head. ‘They won’t, not if we’re real careful. We’ll fetch the things we’re takin’ across to the stable in stages. Seth will have to know, of course, but no one else. He knows the danger we’ll be in and won’t say anythin’.’
‘You don’t think your folks would tell the Marshal if they knew, do you?’
He shook his head. ‘Nope, they’d never do that, no matter how upset they were. But I don’t know about Sam. And I couldn’t ask Ma and Pa to keep it a secret from him – it wouldn’t be right.’
‘Surely Sam wouldn’t tell the Marshal!’ she exclaimed. ‘You may not be close, but he is your brother.’
‘The truth is, I don’t know, and we can’t take a chance. You didn’t see the hate in Sam’s eyes when I stopped the lynchin’. I know he’d never willingly see someone from his family livin’ with a Chinese woman, and possibly havin’ children with her, and there’s a real chance he’d try to stop the weddin’.’
‘D’you want me to ask the priest? It’d save you goin’ into Chinatown, a white man amongst the Chinese. I’ve seen him in the mercantile, but I’ve never said much to him, but bein’ Chinese …’ Her voice trailed off.
He shook his head. ‘It’s me he owes the favour to, so it’d better be me who asks. And you bein’ Chinese could make him say no. From what you’ve told me in the past, a Chinaman brought up in China, which he obviously was, might think badly of a Chinese girl approachin’ him in such a way. You told me unmarried girls aren’t seen in public in China, and even wives walk behind their husband and don’t speak out for themselves. A priest is the sort of person to cling to tradition, and he might not like our American ways.’
‘That makes sense.’ She stopped and stared over the side of the bridge at the patch of ground where her mother died, her eyes on the white pebbles at the water’s edge. She looked back at Joe with a smile. ‘I know my ma’s hearin’ this and I can feel her happiness.’
He grinned at her, and they continued walking, several paces apart from each other.
‘I’ll go to the priest tonight,’ he said when they reached the other side of the bridge and turned to the left to go to the miners’ houses. ‘I’ve got a real good feelin’ about this, Charity.’
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Martha glanced at Charity. ‘You can put that mendin’ down, gal,’ she said. ‘I wanna talk to you.’
Charity’s mind sped back to what she and Joe had decided the day before, and her heart leapt in anxiety. She glanced nervously across the room at Martha, who was standing by the stove.
Martha gave the stew a final stir, went to the store-closet, filled a glass with milk from the pitcher that stood on a slab of stone on one of the shelves, took the glass across to Charity, and then went and sat at the other end of the table.
‘That’s the last thing in the pile,’ she said, nodding at the camisole in Charity’s hand, ‘so it can wait a while. Hiram will be back soon, and maybe Sam, too, and we need to talk before then.’
Charity put down the camisole and needle, and picked up the glass. ‘What about?’ she asked, her hand shaking. She took a sip of milk.
‘That’s what I was hopin’ you could tell me,’ Martha said. ‘Yesterday, I told you I wanted you out of our house. I know you went straight to the mercantile after that, and I thought you were plannin’ on using a woman’s ways to make Chen Fai believe you were keen on gettin’ wed. To him, not Joe.’
Charity made a slight exclamation.
Ignoring her, Martha leaned forward, her forearms on the table. ‘And that would’ve been the sensible thing to do. But next I hear, Eliza’s tellin’ me that when she dropped by the stable later that mornin’, Greg said you’d turned up in a real bad state, and had then run off, and Joe had run off mighty fast after you.’ She sat back in her chair. ‘I’ve waited more than a day for you to tell me what’s goin’ on, and that’s long enough. So you can start talkin’ now.’
Charity shrugged.
‘Like Greg said, I was upset.’ She sighed. ‘I’d realised I didn’t feel about Chen Fai in the right way and didn’t want to marry him, and I told him that. He was upset and so was I. That’s what it was.’
Martha folded her arms and sat back. ‘It sure took you long enough to find out what you didn’t feel about him. Years, in fact.’
‘I know, and I feel bad about that. But I can’t help the way I feel, can I?’ Charity took another sip of her milk, her heart hammering.
Martha stared at her thoughtfully. ‘And where does Joe fit into this?’ she asked at last.
Charity shook her head. ‘He doesn’t. He came after me to see what had happened, and that’s all. He said he wanted to help, but we both know there’s nothin’ he can do.’ She gestured helplessness. ‘I’m gonna do the only thing I can – I’m leaving Carter. I was gonna tell all of you tonight.’
‘Where are you movin’ to?’
‘Green River. And if I can’t get a job there, I’ll get back on the train and go further down the line to Evanston. I can’t stay here. You want me out, and you’re right to want that. You’ve given me a home for long enough, and you’re sufferin’ now because of that. The whites hate me, and now the Chinese will, too. They’ve always mistrusted me, despite the colour of my skin, and they’ll think they were right to do so.’
‘And Joe agreed with you goin’?’ Martha’s voice sounded doubtful.
‘Not at first. But I persuaded him. He can now see, like I can, that I’ve got no choice.’
Martha was silent for a moment or two. ‘Well, as I told you yesterday, I’ve come to feel affection for you, gal,’ she said finally, ‘and I’ll be sorry to see you go, but you’re doin’ the right thing. I would’ve liked you to have stayed in Carter so I could’ve seen you in the street and watched your nippers grow, but that’s not gonna happen now, and that saddens me.’
‘I’ll be sorry to leave you, too – I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you,’ Charity said, a sudden tremble in her voice. ‘But I know I’m doin’ what’s right. I don’t like bein’ the reason bad things are happenin’ to you.’
Martha nodded. ‘So when d’you plan on goin’?’
‘Monday week, I thought. It’ll give me time to sort out my things. I’ve been savin’ for when I was wed, and I’ll use some of the money to buy a train ticket. And I’ll have enough to get a room for a few days while I look for work. Joe said it costs two dollars a night for a room, and two bits extra if I want hot water brought up.’
‘Well, I can see you’ve thought this out, and that pleases me mightily, gal. You’re a hard worker and reliable, and I doubt you’ll find it difficult to get a job. Is there any way Hiram and I can help?’
‘I don’t reckon so, but I thank you for the thought.’ Charity gave her a slight smile, and picked up the needle again.
Her fingers drumming quietly on the table, Martha sat watching the needle move back and forth across the hole in the camisole. ‘You’ll never be a good needlewoman,’ she said after a few minutes, ‘but you’re gettin’ better. At least at mendin’.’
‘I’ll never like sewin’, but it’s gotta be done.’ Increasingly nervous beneath Martha’s probing gaze, Charity forced a smile to her face.
The drumming stopped. ‘You’ve obviously told Joe your plans. You gonna tell Chen Fai and Su Lin, too?’
Charity looked up from her sewing and shook her head. ‘I won’t be goin’ into the store again. But if I see Su Lin around, I’ll tell her. I’ll miss her,’ she added. ‘I know she’s gettin’ wed, but I’d have liked us to stay friends and I know it won’t be possible, not now I’m movin’ away. And if I ever came back to see you, I know Chen Fai would forbid her to see me. She wouldn’t disobey her brother again or her husband. But Chen Fai’s a good man, and I’ve treated him badly, so I’d never reproach him for stoppin’ her from meetin’ me again. Everythin’ that’s happened is my fault.’
‘Well, a part of it is, but not all. It’s not your fault you’re Chinese,’ Martha said bluntly. Her gaze travelled around the room, then returned to Charity, whose head was again bent over her sewing. ‘I wonder why I don’t believe you, Charity gal,’ she said slowly.
Charity looked up sharply. ‘What d’you mean?’ She attempted a laugh.
Martha leaned forward. ‘I would’ve thought my meanin’ obvious,’ she said. ‘You’re real calm and you’re sayin’ all the right things. But the gal I’ve been seein’ since Joe came back – since she was born, in fact – had fire in her eyes. And she’s had fight in her since the day she started school. In all these years that fight has never gone out of her. Not till now, that is. Where’ve that fire and that fight gone, I wanna know. Are they’re still there, but you’re hidin’ them for some reason? I’m wonderin’ if there’s somethin’ you’re not tellin’ me.’
Charity stared at her. ‘That fire, as you call it, has been put out. I can’t keep fightin’ a fight I’m never gonna win. I have to accept that or go plum loco.’ She injected an air of despair into her voice. ‘Joe’s back in Carter now, and as he’s gonna have the livery stable he’ll stay here. I can’t live with him – and yup, you’re right; that’s what I wanna do more than anythin’. But it’s not gonna happen. Even if the law allowed a white and a China woman to marry, the Carter townsfolk wouldn’t. So what can I do but go to another town?’
‘You could try your luck with Chen Fai again.’
She vigorously shook her head. ‘He wouldn’t agree. And I couldn’t bear to wed him. I could’ve done if Joe hadn’t come back, but not now I know what it feels like to love someone so bad that it hurts. You once talked about feelin’ as if you were bein’ buried alive. Well, bein’ Chen Fai’s wife would bury me alive. Better almost anythin’ than that.’ She slumped back in her seat. ‘Anyway, that’s my way of thinkin’.’
‘Okay, you’ve convinced me, I guess. If you wanna take—’ There was a rap on the door and Martha stopped abruptly. She glanced at the schoolhouse clock on the wall. ‘That’ll be Phebe,’ she said with a sigh, getting up. ‘She’ll want to borrow somethin’ again. Not that borrow’s the right word – I’ll not see it back.’ She went to the door and opened it. ‘Come on in, Phebe,’ she said, her voice resigned, and she stood back from the doorway.
Phebe stepped into the room, saw Charity and stopped. She glanced at Martha. ‘I thought she’d still be at the store,’ she said sharply. ‘Sam would be real mad if he knew I was in the same room as her. And so would my pa.’
‘Then don’t tell them,’ Martha said, and closed the door behind her. ‘You gonna take what you want at once or sit with us a while?’
‘I can’t stay. I’ve left Thomas asleep, and he could wake at any time.’
‘So what’s it you need to borrow?’ Martha asked, and she started to walk over to the store-closet.
Phebe gave her a wan smile. ‘It’s carrots,’ she said, her voice apologetic. ‘I thought I’d make a stew this evenin’, but I found I didn’t have carrots.’
Martha raised her eyebrows. ‘Isn’t it a bit late to start a stew for this evenin’?’
Phebe shrugged. ‘Maybe. But as I was comin’ back from gettin’ some cans of condensed milk in town, the air smelt so sweet as I passed your house that I decided to make some myself. As soon as I’d fed Thomas and settled him, I came straight up for the carrots.’
‘You’ve got Charity to thank for the nice smell. She did most of the work. Like she always does. But not for much longer,’ she added. ‘She’s not marryin’ Chen Fai; she’s leavin’ Carter.’
Phebe pulled out a chair and sat down. She glanced at Charity, and then back at Martha. ‘Sam’ll be pleased to hear that,’ she said. ‘And I am, too. I won’t have to listen to Sam goin’ on nightly about the Chinese. It’s bad enough he’s gotta work with them in the mines, with all their cheatin’ ways, but he shouldn’t have to know there’s one of them livin’ in his home, no matter how she got there.’ She indicated Charity with her cool gaze.
&
nbsp; ‘When I last looked, this was my home and Hiram’s; Sam’s home was further down the row,’ Martha said tersely.
Phebe shrugged her shoulders. ‘You always think of the house you were brought up in as home. No, her not marryin’ that Chen man is a real good thing. If she had, she’d have stayed in Carter and kept on comin’ to see you, and every time Sam saw her, he’d get all fired up again.’
‘Since you recognise the feelings Sam has for the house he’s always lived in, I take it you’ve got some sympathy with Charity havin’ to move away. Or haven’t you? She’s been in this house since a few days old, and now she’s gonna have to leave it and go to a town where she doesn’t know anyone. Just because her skin’s a different colour.’
Phebe looked at Charity with dislike. ‘It’s not my fault she’s Chinese. When’s she goin’?’ she asked, turning back to Martha.
‘Soon. But she can speak for herself, you know.’
‘Maybe I don’t want to speak to her.’ Phebe paused. ‘Can I have the carrots, then? If not, I’ll get off.’
‘Sure, but they’ll need soakin’. You know, it’s high time you quit beatin’ the devil around the stump and started plantin’ your vegetable patch. It isn’t much of a patch, I know, but nor’s ours, and you’d be surprised what we can grow, even on stony ground like this. If you plant it in spring, you’ll have greens, peas, and radishes, and then plant it in summer and you’ll have what you need for the winter: things like pumpkins, beans, potatoes and squash. I’m surprised your ma didn’t teach you that.’
‘We had a Celestial for a cook, didn’t we? It was his job to put food on our plates. I’d kinda thought I’d have the same when I was wed.’
‘Well, you haven’t. And you and Sam have been married for long enough now for you to be thinkin’ about preservin’ and the like. Thomas is easier now so you’ve got more time. Sam does a man’s work, and he needs food on his plate when he gets in. The garden’s the woman’s chore, and it’s time you started workin’ on it.’