“People change, Blake.”
“Overnight?”
“Sometimes.”
Painfully equipped with far more information than Annie had on this subject, Blake wasn’t going to entertain any such ideas. Period.
“So what precipitated tonight’s troubles?”
Welcoming the change of topic, he told her about the scene in the movie, the violence. Realizing that he wasn’t in any state to have taken it on.
“So you identified with Sonny’s situation, and that’s all it took,” Annie said.
“Tonight, yes. Generally, I can see it coming and focus on something else enough to ward off any adverse reaction.”
“Tell me what you saw tonight, Blake. Tell me what happened to you over there.”
His mind blank, Blake stared in her direction, mouth open but with nothing to say. Not a word occurred to him.
“Please?”
What could he give her? Running through his mind in search of any tidbit he might share, Blake couldn’t find a thing.
“I…can’t, Annie. I just can’t.”
She didn’t press him. With a small, stiff nod, she let him off the hook.
“Thank you.”
Her head turned toward him. “For what?”
“Understanding.”
She smiled then, something more than mere politeness. “I care, Blake, and I always want to understand. Don’t you get that, yet?”
He couldn’t let himself “get it.” The temptation to take the precious gift she was offering would be too great. And that would be the greatest travesty of all.
Annie’s need for love and his disorder. A match made in hell.
ON MONDAY, Cole called Blake to tell him that the sheriff had phoned with a current address and phone number for Jake Chandler. Wade Barstow had known someone, who knew someone, and they were able to speed up the process of tracing him through a cell phone bill.
“How did he take the call?” Blake asked his friend, really wanting to know how Cole had handled the conversation. Whether he’d ever openly acknowledge it or not, Cole had been greatly hurt by his friend’s disappearance.“He hasn’t taken it yet.” Cole sounded frustrated. “His voice mail says he’s out of the country for a few days. He’s due back at the end of the week.”
“Did you leave a message?”
“No, I didn’t figure this was the kind of thing you left on a machine.”
“You didn’t even ask him to call you?”
“Nope.” Cole’s defenses were definitely in high gear, leaving Blake to wonder why he’d asked to make this particular call. The local police would have been happy to pass along the job to the police department in the town where Jake Chandler lived. “Didn’t want to give him a chance to ignore the message,” Cole finally admitted.
At which time, Blake decided that maybe he didn’t like Jake Chandler all that much.
ANNIE WAS UP EARLY Tuesday morning. Much earlier than usual. She’d been awake, on and off, since the middle of the night—and she was restless about what was to come.
Early morning was the best time to test. And today was the day.At six, while it was still dark outside, and when she normally would have been sound asleep, she slid out of her narrow bed, intending to head straight to the bathroom, get the deed done and crawl back under her blankets.
Hopefully to sleep. For hours and hours. Forever, if that’s what it took to escape the pain of loving Blake. Worrying about him. Understanding that too much stood between them for them to make each other happy.
On her way to the bathroom, she stopped off at the living-room window, stood gazing out into the deserted street, looking up and down for any homes that might have lights on. Weren’t there kids who needed to be ready for school? Lunches to make? Men who had the long drive into San Antonio to work? Surely someone besides her was up and about.
Surely they were, just not within view of Annie’s front window.
But wait, was that movement out there? Certain she’d seen something, she leaned closer to the glass, studying the darkness, trying to focus just beyond where she’d noticed the motion, hoping to bring it more clearly into view.
Minutes later, when nothing further appeared, she relaxed. She’d best get the test kit out before she called the cops over trees rustling in the wind. Get back to being herself.
As if she’d ever be herself again, should that little strip of paper change color.
With a hand on her stomach, which had been finding its way there a lot lately, Annie stared out into the street, trying to imagine how she was going to feel if she knew that she was pregnant with Blake’s baby.
And how she would feel if she wasn’t.
Either way, there were things to fear. And reasons to rejoice. If she wasn’t pregnant, she’d have a reason to get Blake to sleep with her again—another shot at convincing him to stay with her.
And if she was, if she had his baby inside her already, growing, a product of her and Blake, of a love they shared, even if they couldn’t embrace it fully in their lives, then she would be complete in a way she hadn’t been for far too long.
Only then could she let go of her grief over the past, and move on to the future.
Only then…
She saw the movement again. And this time, she really saw it. Over by the window on the south side of Katie Hollister’s home. If Annie wasn’t mistaken, and she knew she wasn’t, it was at Katie’s bedroom window. Someone was climbing out. Straightening up. Looking around furtively before heading down the street.
Someone who’d crawled in that window twenty minutes before, when Annie had thought she’d seen something?
Someone who looked alarmingly like Becky’s son, Shane.
SHE WAS WRONG. She had to be wrong. She was definitely wrong. But just to be sure, Annie grabbed her phone and dialed Becky’s cell phone. Her friend always had it with her at night, in case of emergency. She turned it to Vibrate, so it wouldn’t wake her father or Shane if it rang.
“Annie? Are you…?” Becky sounded wide-awake.Much more so than Annie felt. “What?”
“You were getting up at six to do the test. Was it positive?”
She’d actually forgotten, for the moment. “I haven’t done it yet.”
“You need a pep talk, first? You want me to come over and sit with you, while you wait for the results?”
“I need you to go check Shane’s bedroom.”
“Why?” Becky’s entire tone changed.
“Just do it, please?”
There were shuffling sounds in the background—Becky taking her phone with her down the hall to her son’s bedroom. Annie counted to ten. And then again. Please let him be there, she prayed. Let him—
“He’s in his bed—” Becky’s whisper broke off. “No he’s not. His pillows are tucked under the covers, to make it look like a body’s there.”
Damn.
Damn. Damn. Damn.
“What do you know, Ann?” Becky asked, all business and strength for the moment.
“I just saw him climb out of Katie Hollister’s bedroom window.”
“You think he’s sleeping with her? He’s only fifteen years old!”
“I don’t know what to think,” Annie said quickly, more worried about a drug buy than sex at the moment. “What are you going to do now?”
“Sit right here and wait for him to sneak back in.”
Annie would like to be a fly on the wall for that one. “And then what?”
“I have no idea. I’m hoping something comes to me between now and then.”
“Be firm with him, Bec. Don’t go feeling sorry for him because he doesn’t have a father there with him.”
“I know. I won’t.”
“And don’t let him give you any guff. He might have grown taller than you this past year, but you’re still the boss there.”
“I know.”
“You going to tell your dad?”
“Who knows? Probably. But not until after I hear what Shane has to sa
y.”
“I love you.”
“I know, Annie. I love you, too.”
“Call me as soon as you’re done, okay? Sooner, if you need me.”
“Okay, I will. Thanks, Annie, you’re the best.”
“So are you, my friend. So are you.”
Annie rang off and headed back to the bathroom. There was no time like the present to see if her future was going to be anything like Becky’s.
BLAKE CLOSED THE CONDO deal over breakfast, at eight o’clock Tuesday morning. In spite of the fact that he’d looked at his watch every other minute. Annie should have called by now.
Was he going to be a father or wasn’t he?And if not, was he going to try with her again, or leave well enough alone?
He was meeting a prospective client, a referral from Colin, at ten. Should he phone her before then, or continue to wait for her call?
Why hadn’t she called already? Because she’d had bad news? Or good? Or had something prevented her from taking the test at all?
When he realized that he had no idea at this point whether or not Annie would find a positive test good news or bad, Blake put his cell phone back in the case resting against his hip, picked up his briefcase and headed to his next appointment. He had a business to run. A life to live.
Annie would phone him when she was ready.
BLAKE DIDN’T HEAR from Annie all day. For a good part of the time he managed to keep his mind under control, in order to focus on the business at hand. He’d had a lot of practice at it.
But by late that afternoon, he’d run out of self-control. He tried several times to reach her, and when she didn’t pick up, he finally dialed Cole, who hadn’t heard from his sister in two days.“How you doing, buddy?” Cole asked, as he had each day since Friday night’s episode, managing to find various pressing reasons to call.
“Good. Yourself?” Blake asked.
“All right. Ron was after me about joining the game tomorrow night.”
“So invite him. We work around him.”
“My mother’s trying to rope me into building a new dais for Santa for the church bazaar next month.”
“Remind me to stay away from June!”
“Yeah,” Cole grunted. “So, you’re good?”
“I’m fine, Cole.” If he hadn’t been so uncomfortable with the attention, Blake would have been amused. “Really. It’s under control.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. Just sorry as hell I caught your face. How’s the shiner?”
“Gone. Wasn’t much. And I was a fool for getting in your way,” Cole said. “It was clear you weren’t there. I don’t know what I was doing.”
“You were trying to help.”
And that was precisely why Blake had to live alone. He’d slugged his best friend. It made him sweat, to think of the damage he could have done. What if it had been Annie? Or, God forbid, their child? What if he’d broken Cole’s nose? Or done more serious damage?
“Becky said you probably saw the symptoms coming.”
“I pushed myself too hard.”
“And if it hadn’t been just me, if there’d been someone else around, someone you might, say, hurt with your superior strength, you would have made different choices about pushing so hard.”
Of course. He managed responsibly….
Blake’s thoughts froze.
“You’ve been talking to Annie,” he said, half accusation and half…he didn’t know what.
“She believes that you plan to live alone the rest of your life because of this thing. Because you’re afraid of what you might do.”
“Wouldn’t you be?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“How well you manage yourself. What control you’ve been able to gain over it. How often these episodes happen. How much it actually affects your ability to be productive every day.”
“One episode could be all it takes.”
“So could an explosion with my gas grill. Or a car accident. Does that mean you’ll never drive anyone?”
Cole didn’t understand. The ramifications of living as he did weren’t something anyone could understand if he hadn’t been there….
“Let me ask you this.” Cole was in one of his irritatingly positive, dog-with-a-bone modes. “What does your doctor say about your chances of having a relatively normal family life?”
Blake’s sessions with Dr. Magnum were confidential.
“Have you asked her?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
It didn’t matter what she said. She wouldn’t have to live with any consequences.
“Blake?”
“She sees no reason whatsoever that I can’t marry and raise a family.” He bit out the words. They were like salt in a wound. Because no matter what the doctor thought, if Blake didn’t believe it, then nothing else mattered.
BLAKE WAITED ANOTHER half hour. Called Annie four times more, and then called Becky. He didn’t know her. Had to look up her number in the phone book. Other than the one night, he’d probably never even been around her—unless she’d been in the diner on some poker night when he’d stopped to eat.
But Cole had spoken of her so often, in reference to Annie, that he felt as if he knew her. More importantly, he knew how well she knew Annie.“Blake? Is something wrong? You need help?” Annie’s friend asked as soon as he’d identified himself, her voice filled with concern.
And sympathy…Which was one of the reasons no one knew about his disorder. Or the other residual effects of captivity. He didn’t need folks walking on eggshells around him.
“I’m looking for Annie,” he said. “Have you heard from her?”
“Not since this morning. I had some trouble with my son and we talked a couple of times.”
He hadn’t realized Becky had a son. Had only just recently put together that Annie’s best friend was also Luke Chisum’s ex. “Is everything okay?”
“As good as can be expected when a single woman is raising a fifteen-year-old boy.”
“He’s pushing his boundaries, huh?”
“You could say that.”
Blake had no idea why he was engaging this woman in conversation. He’d never properly met her, and yet here he was, acting as if they were old friends.
Just because she knew Annie so well? Did he have it so bad that he was latching on to his ex-wife’s life? Trying to live with her vicariously, since he’d never be doing so for real?
God, he hoped not.
Still…
“By the way, I didn’t get a chance to thank you for the other night.”
“No problem.” Her voice was warm, and it occurred to Blake that Annie’s best friend didn’t seem all that inclined to end this conversation, either. Did that mean he had her support?
But support in what? He had no intention of having a life with Annie.
“So, you didn’t hear from Annie today?” Becky’s question brought him back into focus.
“No.” How much did Becky know?
“Oh.”
“And she didn’t call you?” Did they each know what they were talking about?
“No. But if there was a problem, she would have. She always does.”
Was that supposed to be reassurance? How about if there’d been news of a baby? Or not.
Thanking Becky again, Blake rang off, frustrated, worried and just plain in a grouchy mood.
AT SIX, keys in hand, Blake dialed June Lawry. Having become reacquainted with June while visiting with Cole over the past couple of years, Blake figured she was his final hope.
“Blake, good to hear from you,” the older woman said, her voice kind and welcoming.Biding his time through the pleasantries, Blake tried to figure out, now that he had Annie’s mother on the phone, how to ask about her daughter.
And in the end, he just came out with it. “You wouldn’t happen to know where Annie is, would you? I’ve been trying to reach her and can’t get her to pick up.”
&
nbsp; “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know.” June’s tone was more tentative. “She’s here, actually.”
At her mother’s? As a rule, Annie could hardly be dragged to the home she’d grown up in for an hour for Christmas dinner, let alone at any other time during the year. “She is.”
“Yes. She’s been here most of the afternoon.”
“She has.”
Had Blake not been married to this woman’s daughter for several years, he might not have understood that June was telling him something. But they both knew Annie just didn’t hang out at her mother’s.
“Is she okay?”
“She’s having kind of a hard time at the moment, but overall she’s fine.”
“Is she right there?”
“No, she’s back in my bedroom. She fell asleep about half an hour ago.”
Annie asleep? At—he checked his watch—five after six?
“Did she, uh, get some bad news today?”
“I don’t think so, why?”
June knew something. She had to. But for some reason, she didn’t know that Blake would be aware that today had had special significance for Annie.
“June, I know about Annie’s plans,” he said, still careful, on the off chance that Annie hadn’t told her mother everything.
In the days of their marriage, it would have been a given. But more things had changed than he’d realized.
“You do.”
“Yes.”
“She told you.”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
“So…can you tell me what she found out today?”
The pause on the other end of the line hung heavy. “I…I’d like to, Blake, but you know Annie. She’s so careful. And she came to me, you know? This is the first time in…”
“I understand.” He couldn’t be angry with the woman. Because he knew exactly what this day must have meant to Annie’s mom.
Locking the door of his office, he strode down the hall toward the elevator, cell phone at his ear.
“If you don’t mind my asking,” June said, curiosity evident in her voice, “what do you have to do with this?”
The Baby Gamble Page 16