“As sure as I am that I want this baby.”
In the end, he probably didn’t do the plan justice.
“Then I think we should get married.”
Annie’s silence wasn’t what he’d wanted. She’d been sitting on a pillow beside him, leaning against the wall a couple of inches away. Feet out in front of her, she seemed inordinately interested in her toes.
“Not to live together,” he quickly assured her. “We both know that wouldn’t work. And frankly, for reasons you now understand, I can’t risk it. But you have to admit, there are a lot of practical advantages to the legal aspects of the arrangement.”
As far as proposals went, this had to be the all-time worst. But then, he wasn’t proposing a romantic union.
“Such as?”
At least she hadn’t immediately said no. Hadn’t jumped up and kicked him out on his butt. Could it be that she was actually considering his idea?
Blake hardly dared hope. Gathering his thoughts, he set out to present the most important business proposition of his life.
“Insurance, for one thing,” he said. “I don’t know what your benefits at the paper are, but considering its small size, I’m guessing if you have full coverage, it’s expensive.”
“It is.”
“I have an interest in more than one insurance company, which nets me the best health-care coverage available at a nominal rate. The rate extends to my immediate family.”
In today’s world of rising health-care costs and disbanding insurance companies, this was probably his strongest selling point.
“Second, if something were to happen to me, you and the baby would be taken care of for the rest of your lives. Everything I have would automatically be yours. And if something happened to you, the baby would still be mine. We wouldn’t have to worry about court intervention.
“Marriage between us would also make things such as school enrollment and even doctor visits that much easier. We’d both have the right to represent the child.
“We would all have the same last name, too, which would make things less confusing.” He was scraping the bottom of the barrel now, but she still wasn’t talking. Wasn’t giving him any indication at all what she was thinking.
“There’d be no sex?”
He’d do his best on that one. But…“If that’s the way you want it.” He’d never take Annie against her will.
He just wasn’t so sure that was how it would work out. Their record for keeping their hands off each other wasn’t exactly stellar.
“And you’re still going to live in San Antonio?”
“My business is there.”
“Mine’s here.”
“I know.”
“How would we explain it to everyone?”
“Tell them to mind their own business. How is this any worse than you having a baby on your own?”
“I’d still have the final say in this child’s life,” she said, and Blake’s heart sped up.
She was seriously considering this.
He’d never actually thought she would.
“Agreed.”
“Do you plan to be involved even before the baby’s born?”
He hadn’t allowed himself to think that far, but…“Yes.”
“Doctor’s visits, too?”
“Yes.”
She glanced at him a time or two. “And no sex.”
“If that’s the way you want it.”
He could hardly breathe. But the tightness in his chest was panic-based. He felt a rebirth of hope combined with good old-fashioned excitement.
“Okay, then I’ll marry you.” Annie’s words were every dream he’d had in that hellhole come true.
“But no sex.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ONCE HE HAD HER AGREEMENT to marry, Blake wanted to get it done as quickly as possible. The baby was already coming, and he wanted everything securely tied up before the first doctor’s appointment.
He wanted to attend that visit as the baby’s legal father, as Annie’s next of kin and as the one who would have power of attorney if anything ever happened to her.Annie hoped that, deep inside, in those places Blake didn’t dare access, he just really wanted to marry her again that badly.
And she feared the same. Going in with her eyes open this time meant that she knew there were no guarantees in life. No harbor that was completely safe. Life didn’t work that way.
Losing her little-girl perspective was hard. But liberating, at the same time. The world was a new place, full of possibility, now that the constraints of unrealistic expectation didn’t hold her back.
It was also fraught with the pitfalls that she’d pretended to herself, all these years, she’d been avoiding.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Becky asked her Wednesday evening as they shared a salad at the local restaurant while Becky waited for Shane to finish football practice. She, or her father, were taking him to and from every single activity, including school, for the next several weeks.
She’d nailed his window shut. And had spent the previous evening scrubbing at his door hinge until it had a permanent squeak.
“I’m sure,” Annie told her friend, her mind coming back to Becky’s question. And she was. Scared, but completely sure.
“So what’s changed? Why is it you think he’s not going to break your heart again?”
“He might,” Annie said simply. “But my heart’s not any better off without him than it would be if I’m with him and he breaks it. I hurt either way. I guess I’d rather hurt with him than without him.”
“So be friends with him. It doesn’t mean you have to marry him.”
Frowning, Annie asked, “You don’t think I should? You think the PTSD makes him a bad prospect? Too high a risk?”
Didn’t really matter at this point—Annie was committed. But Eyes Open being her new motto, she wanted to know.
“Absolutely not.” Becky’s adamant reply left no doubt about that. “And I’m not against you marrying him, though I’d be happier for you if it were more than just a legal agreement. Mostly, I want to make certain that you know why you’re doing it.”
Leave it to Becky to force the hard issues, to pull things from Annie that she didn’t want to look at. She could always count on her for that.
And valued her for it, too. Most of the time.
This wasn’t one of those times.
“It makes sense,” she said now, forking up a piece of lettuce with more force than was probably necessary.
“Annie?”
She glanced up into Becky’s concerned eyes. “You don’t marry for the sake of ‘sense.’”
“It’s not a real marriage.”
“So, Blake didn’t stay with you last night?”
“Of course not. You know he can’t sleep anywhere but his home.”
“I know no such thing. Of course he can. He travels, doesn’t he?”
Becky had her there. But…“Where he’s in hotel rooms by himself.”
“So tell me you didn’t make love last night before he left.”
That was really none of Becky’s business. Except that Annie had given her friend the right to be that much into her life a long time ago.
Her lack of a reply was all the response Becky needed.
“You love him, Annie. Not only that, you’re still in love with him. Just admit it.”
That wasn’t something she wanted to do.
But eventually, with a fresh flood of tears, she did.
COLE LEANED OVER AFTER Blake’s second loss. “You okay?” he asked, low enough for only Blake to hear.
“Fine.” He grinned at his friend. “Just not concentrating.”Luke dealt the next hand and Blake tipped the corners of his cards, then tossed them into the middle of the table. Cole did the same.
“Any particular reason you aren’t concentrating?”
Blake shrugged, pretending to watch the game, while watching his soon-to-be brother-in-law out of the corner of his eye. A surge of affection,
of gratitude, swept through him—a sensation more natural and comfortable than any he’d felt, aside from what he’d experienced being with Annie, since his return.
Having Cole know about his challenges wasn’t as bad as he’d thought it would be. Instead of feeling trapped, marked, Blake found a curious kind of strength in Cole’s concern and support.
As if he didn’t have to bear the entire brunt of his situation alone. It was good to know someone was watching out for him. Even if that someone was a worrywart. And had become more of an irritating parent than the guy friend he was used to.
The hand folded and Hap stood to get another beer. They were still playing in the back room of the Wild Card Saloon, waiting to hear from Jake, but they knew it might be their last time together in the old bar. Blake hadn’t played with the group anywhere else.
Brady, sitting two down from Blake, shuffled the cards. “You heading to the Henley farms?” Blake asked, as four of the eight men sitting there left the table, either to get more to eat or use the facilities.
“Don’t know yet.” Brady’s face was tight as he continued to shuffle. “Can’t get the old man to commit one way or the other. My guess is he’s checking up on the lead himself. I appreciate the tip, though, Blake. I’ve been on the hunt for months, and this horse your guy found is by far the best out there. He’s exactly what I want. If I had the means, I’d just go buy the damn thing myself, and show my father what I can do.”
“He seems like a fair man,” Blake said.
“He is. I don’t blame him for not trusting me with this. It was stupid of me to run off to Las Vegas and gamble my fortune away after the Cowboys let me go. My father’s skepticism is only part of the price I’m paying for that foolhardiness.”
“I have an idea you aren’t going to be paying all that much longer,” Blake said, eyeing the older man who, with Luke, was uncapping another beer. Tonight’s game was the first time Marshall Carrick had joined them. He’d played in the old days, but since Brady’s return, the general understanding had been that Marshall refused to join the game as a way of showing him he wasn’t going to support the thing that had been his son’s downfall.
Brady’s gaze followed Blake’s and, still tight-lipped, he nodded. “Maybe.”
“He’s here,” Blake pointed out.
“Probably to check up on me.”
“Or to see that you really are playing a mature—and cheap—game of poker with friends,” Blake finished quietly, as the others started filtering back to the table. He was feeling generous about the world tonight. Life might not be turning out as he’d envisioned some years ago, but it was a hell of a lot better than he’d dared hope during the past two years.
Annie in his life, in any capacity, was a gift.
“There’s that grin again,” Cole said, as Ron Hayward took his seat at Blake’s left, giving Harry Knutson a heads-up that he felt a win coming on. With a couple of good hands under his belt, the cocky man was just getting cockier.
Blake was glad to know him.
“I asked Annie to marry me,” Blake finally said under his breath, knowing that Cole knew damn well why he was feeling so good. Annie had called that afternoon to let him know that she’d told her mother, Cole and Becky that they were getting married.
Blake had told Colin and Marta, too, leaving out the part about the baby for now. Marta had started to cry, and Colin shook his hand for a solid minute.
“Hey, everybody! Did you hear that?” Cole jumped up before Brady could get the cards around the table. “Blake just said he’s getting married!”
Blake understood, then, that Cole had just been waiting for an opportunity to announce the news.
The ruckus that broke out almost had him running for his car. The river. Anyplace but that small, noisy room. Except that he was too darn busy deflecting the good-natured razzing to even think about getting away.
“When’s the wedding?” Harry asked, and Blake remembered what Cole had told him about the older man. Once you told Harry something, he told his hairdresser wife, and it would be all around town in the morning.
“We don’t know yet,” he said. “Soon, though.”
“Hey.” Luke grinned, tipping a bottle of beer to his lips. “We should all go to Vegas this weekend. Not only are the cards good, but they do weddings every hour on the hour. It’s all legal and quick.”
“Imagine the Wild Bunch loose on the strip,” Brady said with a noticeable dryness.
“It’s not a bad idea,” Cole piped up, and Blake, seeing the hesitant look on Brady’s face, wondered if they weren’t all being a bit insensitive. The last time Brady had played cards in Vegas, a man had committed suicide.
Marshall Carrick wasn’t saying much, just playing with his chips.
“I say let’s do it,” Luke declared. “Brady needs to go back, to face his demons, and what better way to do that than with all of us there together for a happy occasion?”
“I don’t know.” Brady finished the deal.
“I think you should go,” Harry said. “Even if there isn’t a wedding.”
Blake threw in his cards. Shuffling his chips, Cole did not. Luke pulled his hat down.
And the challenge had been issued.
“I agree with Harry, son.” Marshall’s quiet words filled the room and everyone froze. “You need to go back, show yourself what you’re made of. And if you do, if you come home, we’ll go to that sale.”
And just like that, it was settled. Blake was going to Vegas over the weekend to get married.
Assuming the bride agreed to the plan.
“YOU READY FOR THIS?” Becky fluffed the curls that fell most of the way down Annie’s back in their room at the Mirage Saturday afternoon. The two of them had arrived the night before and, other than having a long visit from June, who was just down the hall, along with Cole, they’d seen no one.
They’d slept. Ordered room service.And talked for most of the night.
Becky was there for Annie. She wanted nothing to do with Luke.
“Completely ready,” Annie said. She was nervous, afraid of some of the challenges that lay ahead, of not having a clear, controlled plan for the protection of her heart, but adamantly certain she was doing the right thing. The best thing.
For her, the only thing. She belonged with Blake.
Just as June had belonged with Tim Lawry. For better or worse.
“You know, I watched my mom run her hands over the wood on my cradle. And as she talked, I could remember my father doing the same sort of thing. He was gifted, Bec. That man could look at wood and see amazing things.”
“I know, honey.”
“He had weaknesses, but we all do.”
“Yes.”
“I let my memory of the bad overshadow the good.”
“You were a kid, Ann, with the responsibility of an adult suddenly thrust upon you. You did what you could.”
“I had my own weaknesses,” Annie said, looking at herself in the mirror. The wide blue eyes, a child’s eyes, finally seeing the world from an adult perspective. “I hurt my mother so much.”
“You both got hurt.”
“But the thing is, she’s always loved me. Even now, all it took was for me to go to her, and there were no recriminations or blame. No judgments. Just love.”
Becky smiled, nodded.
“She loved my father that same way.”
“That’s what love is, honey. It allows us to see the good, in spite of the bad. And if it’s working right, it gives us the strength to cope with the not-so-good.”
“That’s where I got messed up,” she said. “I somehow got it in my head that it was up to me to choose people in my life who wouldn’t hurt me. When, instead, I was hurting myself because by those standards, I haven’t let anyone love me.”
The concept was convoluted. Not at all black-and-white, easily defined or understood. It wasn’t rigid. But it was life.
If she was ever going to be happy, she had to understand that everyone ha
d weaknesses, to forgive them any pain they caused, and allow herself to love, to accept love, in spite of everything.
Annie was ready to do that. To start living for real.
GLANCING AT HIS WATCH, Blake took a long, deep breath. This was it. The next few hours would bring so much change.
“You ready?” Cole asked. They were due downstairs in ten minutes.“Not just yet,” he replied, listening for a knock on the door. It had to come. Now was the time.
He’d made some phone calls. Pulled some strings with one of the government agents who’d worked closely with him after his release.
He was due to testify at the trial of his captors in another six months or so.
And he knew now that when he did so, he’d have the backing and support of an entire family of friends. Annie and Cole. But the Wild Bunch, too.
It was time they were all together again.
All of them.
“We gotta go, man,” said Cole, looking impressive in his black suit as he glanced at his watch for about the tenth time in as many minutes. “Probably wouldn’t be a good idea to keep Annie waiting.”
Annie wasn’t expecting him just yet.
“You afraid she’s going to run out on me?” Blake asked, loosening his tie. He always could retie the knot. Buy himself a few more minutes.
“This is Annie we’re talking about,” Cole said. “I can’t believe she agreed to marry you at all. Let’s get this done before she comes up with some other harebrained scheme that she’ll fight to the death to bring about.”
The knot was tied. His shirt tucked in. Belt latched. Shoes shined…
And there was a rap on the door.
“You want to get that?” he asked Cole, pretending to check the contents of his pocket, while keeping an eye on the scene unfolding before him.
“It’s probably Mom, telling us that Annie’s getting antsy.” Cole pulled open the door as he spoke, and then just stopped and stared.
“Jake?”
“I heard there was a Wild Bunch wedding going on.” The six-foot-tall, thin but muscular man stood at the door, a cocky grin on his lips, and something a bit deeper in his dark eyes, as he stared at Cole.
The Baby Gamble Page 18