Then he got stupid.
He found the seam of her petals and began to pry into it with his fingers, it came apart with a tacky tearing noise, but he was undeterred while he worked his hand inside.
As he forced the flower apart he smirked and peaked in to the warm and lush interior. But rather than the familiar sweet smell of nectar, he smelled something more akin to tree sap, and it was too dark inside to see the girl within.
“Got a present for you cutie, and you’re gunna lo-”
There was a clipped scream and a little purple fist connected with his face, knocking him back onto his ass as the petals parted just enough to reveal the furious naked girl in the cold light of the moon.
“What kind of asshole wakes up a hibernating Blomma?!”
His hand on his bloody nose, Brandon started to protest, but already the other flowers were moving, their yawning occupants poking their heads out and rubbing at their eyes.
“Dilli, what is it, what’s going on? It’s too cold to be awake right now!” One of them said while shivering in the night’s chill.
“This butthead woke me up! He just reached right in and stuck his dumb face into my petals!”
The others all quickly shared in her indignation.
“What a jerk!”
“Yeah!”
“Who does that?! Bastard!”
Brandon regained his feet and tried to stammer out an apology as all of the various coloured girls shouted at him.
Abruptly vines reached out of the ground and gripped his legs, tearing him from his feet.
“Hey! Wait I just-”
“You’re just a dick! And I think you need a swim, you big dummy!”
“You tell him Dilli!”
The vines dragged him towards where the hill sharply dropped down into the pond below.
“Enjoy the water buttmunch!”
“Wait! Wait! I’m sorry I didn’t-”
But it was too late.
The vines released him with enough momentum to send him tumbling over the crest of the hill, bushes and small trees did nothing to halt his descent before he flew off a small drop-off and splashed into the water.
It was cold.
Brandon shouted and flailed under the surface at the sudden frigid water enveloping him; the pool was surprisingly deep and in his struggle his bag slipped off of his shoulder and sank to the bottom. He worked his arms and legs to get to the surface, but his sodden clothes were dragging him down and he was quickly losing energy.
He was tired to begin with and the cold sapped his strength, while panic filled his breast and his lungs burned with the need for air.
His arms stilled in their struggle as fatigue claimed his impressive muscles, his legs kicked, but with less force.
I’m going to die.
The dreadful realization had barely made itself known when suddenly strong hands seized him and began to drag him to the surface.
Bursting free of the water with a gasp, Brandon drew in a breath that was half stinging air and half pond water, triggering a desperate and painful coughing fit.
“Stop struggling you dolt! I have you!”
A woman’s gravelly voice berated him while he flopped around and gasped for more air.
Too weak to argue, he let the woman help him to shore.
He wasn’t sure which was colder: the water or the night’s air on his skin when he was out of it.
“Dammit! Why didn’t you wait for Jez?” Another female voice called out.
“No time, start a fire! I’m freezing my tits off! Fuck that’s cold!”
Brandon looked to his saviour, her steely grey eyes meeting his as water sluiced off of them both.
A large Wolfen loped up to them and helped her to her feet, wrapping her in a thick blanket and briskly rubbing at her shoulders.
The Wolfen turned to one side.
“Kala! Get a fire going, and someone bring another blanket for the kid!”
Despite the chill, Brandon bristled.
“I-I’m n-not a kid!” He managed to cough out.
The big wolf girl rolled her eyes.
“Fine, someone bring a blanket for the fully-grown bonehead!”
A short time later a fire crackled as Brandon huddled over it, though he couldn’t help but ogle his rescuer when she tore her sopping top off, her naked back facing him as the Amazon rubbed a towel over her before she pulled a dry shirt on.
He was still a teenager after all.
Once she was clothed, Miranda Holt turned to him.
“Okay numb-nuts, start talking.”
Chapter 25:
Consequences
Once he had warmed up, Brandon sat around the fire with the grey-haired but still smoking hot lady and the equally hot monster girls and contemplated his chances of getting lucky with any of them.
He was nothing if not consistent, and despite the ordeal with the pond, he entertained several fantasies. Except maybe with the weird frog girl, he was a little worried what she might do to him with that crazy tongue.
And the Amazon actually, she looked like she’d been through a meat grinder, with bruises and bandages all over her, that and after his misadventure in Paul’s field he’d had enough of Amazons.
“So you’re from Kettering?” The smaller of the two Wolfen girls asked while toweling the woman’s hair dry for her.
The excitement over, the larger one was standing next to a four-wheeled cart with two large and sturdy-looking crates on it. It was weird: though she seemed to be guarding them, she spent more time looking at the crates than she did the area around them.
“Yeah, my father is the smith there, Rory.”
He mentally kicked himself: nobody cared who his father was!
“A worthy trade.” The wounded Amazon remarked.
“Well, what in the hell are you doing out in the woods?” Miranda asked.
He stretched his back to bring himself to his full height, pushing out his chest as he did. He was shirtless now, but it was a bit awkward to show off his muscles from underneath the blanket while simultaneously trying to keep himself close to the fire.
Regardless, she didn’t break eye contact.
“Uh, well I left.”
“Clearly. Why?” The woman said bluntly.
He was feeling a bit uncomfortable now and still wanted to impress them, even if it meant bending the truth, or breaking it. He’d even settle for the little frog thing at this point, though she hadn’t given him a second glance.
He puffed out his chest and spoke with nonchalant confidence.
“I’m a tamer, you know, just out here looking to find something worth my time.”
Five sets of eyes looked at him now and he wondered if maybe bending the truth was such a good idea...
“You have your paperwork?” Her tone indicated she wanted to see it, as did her outstretched hand.
“N-no, I mean, it was uh… it was in my bag! So it’s at the bottom of that lake by now.”
He was quite proud of the spark of inspiration that led him to that lie, until the Gripau hopped on to the smaller Wolfen’s back.
“No problem, I’ll get it!”
“What? Um n-no, don’t worry about it!”
“Oh but we are so very worried.” Miranda said drily and gave the little monster girl a nod.
As the frog left accompanied by the smaller Wolfen, he wondered what he had just stepped in. And though he managed to maintain his nonchalant tone, he was feeling a bit desperate inside.
“Anyways, I should probably get going so, um, thanks for the blanket.”
She gave him a level look.
“Soaking wet and with Aegis operatives asking to see your paperwork? Really?”
He swallowed and scrambled for something, anything, to deflect the woman’s attention elsewhere.
Then thought of that stupid twerp back in Kettering.
“Hey I know at least one guy who has no paperwork probably!”
She arched one eyebrow as he conti
nued.
“Yeah, it takes a lot of work to become a tamer right? There’s this creepy little orphan kid, back home in Kettering! He’s still a teenager I think, but he’s got like a bunch of girls with no papers I bet…”
He trailed off at the startled look on her face.
“You speak of Nameless?” The Amazon’s tone was neutral as she picked up her spear.
“Yeah, he’s this weird little brat, probably stole those girls or something.”
Despite her injuries, he didn’t even see the Amazon stand up before he felt the razor-sharp blade of her spear pressed underneath his chin, the weapon tilting his face up to meet her glare; her blue eyes wide enough that the whites made a stark ring around her irises in the firelight.
There was a pause before she spoke, her voice promising death.
“Speak ill of our Valkyrja-datta again, and I will kill you.”
Miranda quickly got up and put one hand on the Amazon’s arm to still her.
“Kala, easy. I am not digging a grave tonight.”
With great reluctance Kala lowered her spear.
Brandon, meanwhile, was struggling not to void his bladder at the sudden promise of violence.
Miranda sat down again.
“Okay kiddo, time to get real. Jez and Jan will be back in a bit, your shit in tow. We both know you aren’t a tamer. Hell, Nameless would do better in these woods than you have! He certainly wouldn’t have been stupid enough to pester a patch of hibernating Blomma!”
Kala laughed shortly as she threw another log on the fire, though she winced and held her side for a moment.
“He would likely bond to one or more of them! His appetite is the stuff of legend!”
Brandon swallowed, one shaky hand gripping his neck as he felt for blood from the Amazon’s spear. After a moment he shook his head, missing what she had said about Nameless entirely.
“I just, I left Kettering okay, that’s not a crime right?” His voice was wheedling.
The soaking wet Wolfen spoke from behind him with a growl.
“No, but lots of other things you did tonight are, obstruction for one. We’re super important Aegis people, and you’ve got us chasing our tails and wasting our time.”
The equally soaked frog girl clung to her back, one hand holding his sodden bag.
“Yeah, obstruction! There’s no paper in here at all! Not even any for wiping!”
Miranda rolled her eyes.
“So you left, good for you. What? You had a fight with your dad? Rory wasn’t it? And now you’re off into the big bad world to prove you aren’t whatever he thinks you are. Sound about right?”
Brandon was surrounded by irritated women and he felt more than a little trapped. He was used to dealing with irritated women, Cordelia was a handful after all, but not this many at once, and not ones who clearly weren’t at all impressed by his physique.
That and the Aegis lady’s words were hitting a little too close to the mark for his comfort.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”
Miranda’s shook her head slowly.
“Kid, if we hadn’t heard the Blomma making such a fuss, you’d either have drowned, or been dead from exposure by morning. And so far you’ve been so busy staring at my tits that you can’t seem to recognize the uniform covering them. The only one here who doesn’t know anything is you. Now stop with the bullshit, get your head out of your ass, and answer my damn questions.”
He blushed furiously at being called out so plainly. And so, with the overt pressure from her, something gave inside of him and suddenly he wasn’t a tamer or a criminal mastermind, or anybody of any consequence really.
Instead he was just a confused and frightened teenager.
“A-am I in trouble?”
Her glare softened, but only slightly.
“Why don’t we start with your name?”
He swallowed a sudden lump in his throat, unsure where it had even come from as he tried to explain his reasoning.
“It’s Brandon and-”
“Last name?” She interrupted and he felt a surge of anxiety to see that she had taken out a notepad and was writing the information down by the light of the fire.
Everything suddenly felt more official, more real.
He coughed to clear his throat as a chill that had nothing to do with the water overtook him.
“Dixon. My last n-name is Dixon.”
“Okay, Brandon Dixon, and the next of kin is Rory Dixon of Kettering?”
He nodded.
“Hmm, age?”
“He’s forty three.” He mumbled.
She glared at him.
“Not your dad’s age, what the hell would I need your dad’s age for?”
He gulped.
“Oh, s-sorry, I’m eighteen.”
She grunted and wrote it down.
“Okay, now that we have the ‘who’, let’s get to the ‘what’. What were you doing out here Brandon?”
It took him several moments to regroup as she stared at him expectantly.
“That kid… Nameless, he came back to town surrounded by all these monster girls. And he’s such a little-” He hesitated to finish the thought as he noticed the Amazon’s eyes narrow; “I just wanted to prove to everyone that I could do it too, ya know?”
Miranda blinked.
“‘Do it too’? Do you even know what he did?”
He squirmed.
“Well, he’s some kind of super tamer now right?”
She startled him with an abrupt snort, while the Wolfen’s tongue lolled out in a grin as well.
“He’s just as clueless as you are! The difference is, he knows it! All those monsters he’s surrounded by? Those aren’t girls he tamed, at least not on purpose! The little shit’s in love, many times over. It’s kind of irritating really.”
“And entertaining!” The grinning wolf girl added.
“Oh.” Brandon mumbled.
“And more importantly, he does in fact have papers for those girls. Further, he’s also read the Aegis charter, back to front and many times over. I know because I’m the one who made him read it. With a bit of preparation, he could probably even challenge the tamer certification test.”
Miranda flipped her notebook closed and shivered, Kala once again rubbing at her shoulders.
“Sounds to me like you’re just like most kids your age: stupid and mostly harmless. But I’m still going to have to do this. Brandon Dixon, you are bound by law.”
His stomach flopped and dread filled him.
“You’re arresting me?! For what?”
She gave him a disbelieving look.
“Where the hell have you been the last thirty minutes?”
His eyes boggled in confusion, so she began to count off on her fingers as she laid it out for him.
“One count of assault on an untamed monster girl that could lead to grievous bodily harm. One count of endangerment of Aegis personnel that could also lead to bodily harm. One count of fraudulent representation and one count of obstruction of Aegis representatives in performance of their duties.”
The Gripau shook her fist at him over Jan’s shoulder.
“And ten counts of being a butthead!”
“Jez!” Miranda snapped.
Though the two soaked monster girls could handle the cold better than the humans, they were still drying themselves by the fire.
“I do-don’t know what any of that m-means.”
He was starting to come apart now, though he fought to keep his tears at bay.
“Yeah I figured as much. So we’ll start with the Blomma since the school in Kettering isn’t worth whatever shit they built it out of. When it gets too cold at night they have to seal off their petals with a mixture of their nectar and the sap from their stems in order to hibernate until spring, which is why people that want to farm said nectar build greenhouses to keep them warm through the colder seasons.”
She pointed with her pen past the pond towards the top of t
he hill where the Blomma were.
“Right now that poor girl whose petals you pulled apart is struggling to stay awake while working to seal off her flower again before her core temperature gets too low. Fortunately we were on hand with some emergency heating packs so she should be fine. Which, by the way, is why I am sitting here freezing my ass off instead of warm and toasty with those same packs! And that brings us to the endangerment charge, because pneumonia is a thing that happens to people that go swimming at night in the fall.”
“But I d-didn’t ask you to-” He began to beg.
“If I hadn’t gone in after you, you would have likely drowned, and since I only ended up in the drink as a direct result of you messing with the Blomma, that makes you culpable for my condition as well. Once again though, I have a fire and lots of warm bodies so I should be fine. Having said that, if either myself or that Blomma suffer any long term effects from your actions…” She paused ominously to measure the effect her words were having on the foolish young man; “Those charges will stick, and between the two, that’s up to ten years in a dig-site.”
At that pronouncement Brandon couldn’t help it anymore and he began to sob in despair; he simply couldn’t believe how badly this was going for him.
“The last two counts, while they typically don’t carry a digging sentence, are still not great. When someone in an Aegis uniform is asking you simple questions, lying about being a tamer is about the most bone-headed thing you could do. That’s what ‘fraudulent representation’ means by the way. The obstruction charge is simple: I asked you questions, you lied. And like Jan said, you wasted our time.”
Her words had reduced him to a blubbering puddle.
“For the fraudulent representation, you’re looking at a fine of twenty-five hundred coins, maybe a six month dig if the court is feeling harsh. The obstruction charge isn’t so bad, it varies depending on the situation but I’d say just a fine, five hundred coins probably.”
Brandon was begging and pleading while tears and snot made a mess of his face, but she just kept talking, mercilessly ruining his life.
“So to sum up, due to your activities tonight you could be looking at a total fine of three thousand coins and ten years in an Aegis dig-site. Sorry kid. But this is the real world. Actions have consequences.”
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