by Mia Ford
“I can do this,” I whisper to my reflection. However, no matter how many times I tell myself this, I can still see the doubt in my eyes. “You’ve got this,” I say, trying to give myself a pep-talk. This is something I can do. It’s only a few months out of my life, less than a full year and at the end, I’ll have a nice little nest egg for the future.
I walk out of the bathroom to find him still sitting on the couch.
Taking a deep breath, I start the conversation. “How would it work?”
He looks nervous and I take a slow step forward standing in front of him at the couch’s edge. He looks like he wants to reach for me but holds back. I wish he would reach for me. It would be so much more reassuring than this.
He clears his throat, “I’ll give you half the money for the consummation and half the money once you have the baby. We’ll break up amicably after the arrangement. I’ll visit the baby when appropriate and he or she will be yours.”
“So, no more sex in public places?” I try to lighten the mood and he laughs.
“Oh, we can totally still do that,” he says smiling at me.
“Well, you didn’t run away from my insane emotional outbursts. That’s probably a good thing considering pregnant women are the worst,” I say as I sit beside him. He takes my hand in his examining my palm.
He shifts beside me until he’s looking at me full on. “Why did you get so upset?” He looks genuinely concerned, and I feel a slight tightening in my chest. He reaches out and puts a light hand on my arm. The move seems tender and close, but I let it stay there.
“The money. I just couldn’t deal with the relief it would be to pay him off. To not have to worry if I made enough tips for the night. It was just overwhelming. It kind of all hit me at once, you know?”
I want to say, I made a bad choice. This time I’d trusted the wrong kind of people. I don’t say that though. It’s hard to admit when I’m wrong.
He nods. “So, does this mean you’ll do it?”
I feel myself shift in my seat and suck in a breath. “Can I have some time?” Bringing a child into the world is a huge decision. Some people just do it without a second thought, but this is different and the parts that come after the birth might be terrifying to be all alone with him popping in when he felt like it. Would I ever be able to have a relationship? Would I even want to?
“Of course. How about you give me your decision next Sunday. That’s a week and you can weigh all the pros and cons.” He’s generous, but he’s obviously the winner in this no matter how I look at it right now.
“We’ve already made our public debut. The thing that you might not like is the cameras are going to be all over this.”
“That was our debut?” I am a little upset he didn’t clue me into the plan in the beginning.
He leans over and pulls me into a hug. I feel strange with us touching in a way that won’t lead to sex. We’ve only ever been one thing to each other. Now that’s all going to change.
“I’m going to go,” Thomas says pulling me out of my thoughts. “I’ll leave you be until Sunday, so you can make your decision.” Our hands linger until he finally lets me go.
He kisses the top of my head in another unfamiliar gesture. He takes a look around the room at the giant mess that Sonny left behind. “Do you want me to help you clean up?”
I feel myself smile.
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I can handle everything.”
“You sure?”
No, I want you to stay here with me, but I don’t say it out loud. “Yeah. I promise.” He gives me a soft smile before turning and walking out my front door.
I look around at the mess that asshole left my apartment in. Sonny doesn’t play, I think of how nice it will be to tell him here is all your money. I go and try to lock the door realizing when they broke in they broke the lock. They must have kicked the door open. I sigh wondering if the chair from my cheap dining set will hold the door until I can get it fixed.
I wouldn’t dare press charges because I’d be too scared. I bet the cameraman got the whole thing as it happened. My landlord is going to want to press charges. That’s something I’ll try to avoid and it will probably cost me an arm and a leg.
I contemplate a bath after trying to clean for a little while. Someone walks up to my door and all the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I look around for something I could use as a weapon if I needed to. There isn’t much to choose from. Finally, I grab the broom and hold it in front of me.
The guy is young and clean shaven. He wears a pair of Khakis and a green polo that says Luck’s Locksmith. I let out the anxious breath I’d been holding because he looks pretty harmless considering the week I’ve had.
“I’m here to fix your door, and put on a deadbolt,” he says and gets to work on the door.
I stand confused with my mouth open still holding the broom. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow.
“Mr. Henry sent me to fix it. Everything is paid for and it won’t take me long. You can go about your business.”
He sent a locksmith and paid for him?
It’s thoughtful of him and not at all insulting. So, why do I feel my cheeks getting hot and my hands clenching into fists? Because he thinks I can’t take care of it. He thinks I’m some helpless girl.
No, I calm down the rage. He cares about my safety and that’s what this is about. He’s protecting his potential baby mama from danger and that’s okay. Satisfied that this is a good thing I go about cleaning deciding I’ll take a bath after he’s gone, and the door is securely locked.
When Sonny had threatened I kind of thought he was blowing smoke. I am a little surprised to see how wrong I was. He would come after you if you were behind on the payments and now I had to watch my back. At least I will be able to sleep tonight with the door locked.
I have a whole week to think about it, but if the peace I feel right now is what it will be like to have money then I’ve already made my decision. I don’t want to have to live my life constantly looking over my shoulder and Thomas Henry is the answer to solving all my problems right now.
I fall into bed after straightening up some more of my things thankful I didn’t have anything worth a lot of money. Everything in my apartment is replaceable and now I’ll have the means to replace it.
The knock on the door that wakes me up is loud and fast. I can’t imagine who would be here at this hour. I look at the clock and realize I’ve slept until almost eleven which never happens. My body aches older than my years and I groan trying to sit up in bed. Did I need to be up for an early shift?
The knock happens again, and a cheery woman’s voice calls Hello? from the other side of the door. Immediately I want to stab her with a fork simply because of her perkiness. Nobody had a right to be this cheerful this early in the day.
“Can I help you?” I ask, clearing the gravel encrusted frog from my throat.
Her reply is bright and bubbly, causing me to groan.
“Merry Maids.”
Merry what? I close my eyes and then open them again. “I’m sorry did you say Merry Maids.” I should feel hung-over, Jesus, I should be hung-over from the beer last night, but it’s more from the whirlwind otherwise dubbed, Thomas freaking hottie Henry who has usurped my world.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Too tired to stand there and argue with my door, I twist the new locks and pull the door open.
On the other side of the door, I find two women standing with little white button-up dresses. They have a cart with cleaning supplies and a large purple duster. I’m still confused.
“We’re here to tidy up love. Go about your day,” the one in the front says as she breezes into my house like she owned the place. She frowns as she takes in the situation. The other tuts and moves the debris from the pile in the floor into a large black trash bag.
“Did Thomas Henry call you?” I ask.
She bobs her head, already fluffing the couch cushions and placing stacks of items on the table
to be sorted. The other woman disappears into the kitchen. I soon hear water running and dishes being shuffled around.
The only thing I can do is stand there and shake my head. I can’t believe this man. If the devil wears Prada, then angels must wear Gucci because Thomas is most certainly my guardian angel?
How did I get so lucky? I mean we aren’t technically even together and he’s doing all these nice things for me. It’s also a bit uncomfortable. I’m letting these women do something I could totally do myself.
I don’t really know what to. The maids walk around picking up things I missed and cleaning my tiny space. I try to help but they just shoo me out of the way like I’m underfoot in my own home.
Finally, just to get out of their way I go into my room and climb into the middle of the bed with my laptop. I start looking up pregnancy stories just to see how people felt when they got pregnant. I make the mistake of googling births and end up watching the worst horror movie in the history of ever--a woman giving birth. My stomach turns. That can’t . . . I mean I couldn’t possibly . . . how the hell does someone recover from something like that? My body couldn’t possibly do that. Could it?
I shut the computer and try to get the image out of my head, but I am pretty certain that image is forever seared into my brain along with my desire to never eat a watermelon again.
Chapter Eleven: Thomas
I have been on pins and needles waiting on Sophia’s answer. Her answer hinges so much on my own future. I’ve paced the carpet in the bedroom making marks in it to the point that the housekeeping staff has offered to replace it. It’s only Saturday though and I had given her a whole week. I’ve avoided all my usual haunts thinking that she might contact me sooner and put me out of my misery but no such luck. Once Tuesday rolled around I was too stir crazy and decided to do something. I called a friend of mine from grad school to see if I could get some job interviews. I didn’t have a lick of work experience, but he didn’t seem to think it will hurt me that I don’t have the experience because of my name and my education. For once my name is paying off with clout.
This is my contingency plan. If for some reason my dad changes his mind or Sophia can’t get pregnant having my own money will help me out. It won’t keep Dinah in her fancy school with ponies and parties or my mother happy with just her dogs, but it’s a start.
I had two interviews set up right away. One on that Tuesday afternoon and one on Wednesday. It seemed once he mentioned I was looking those two companies jumped right on board with offers that would be hard to turn down. I thought the interviews had gone well and they seemed genuinely interested in me. I was told by Baxter and Church the guy I would be replacing had a corner office, a personal secretary, and an intern who would be my personal assistant if I got the job. If anything, the job would keep me on the right path to securing my future.
Now it’s Saturday and I’ve come downstairs to find something to eat. Mother had a book club yesterday and there are still bagels and cream cheese left over. I scan through the news on my phone while I eat two and drink coffee. Everyone is still asleep and it’s almost ten am. After hustling all week to keep my mind off Sophia, I’m starting to view everyone else in a new light. I don’t know if I could sleep past ten again or stay out until final call. Responsibility is nipping at my heels like a jealous lover I can’t appease.
My phone starts to ring with John Baxter’s number. Their job offer is the one I’m really hoping for and I didn’t think I’d hear back so soon or on the weekend. I swallow the last bite of bagel and answer.
“Thomas Henry,” I immediately start pacing behind the kitchen table.
“Hey Thomas, it’s John. Listen, we loved meeting you and think you’d be a good fit as one of our marketing managers. If you can start Monday we’re all ready for you.” He tells me a bit more about the job and their expectations but I stopped listening right after the offer. I needed this so badly and now I’ve got one part of my list accomplished. He finishes up and I realize he’s waiting for my answer. That bagel wants to repeat in my throat and I swallow it down.
“That’s great news, I can’t wait. I can’t believe you’re working on a Saturday. You guys don’t quit.”
“Got to always chase the dream, baby,” he says.
“See you on Monday.” I hang up and fist pump a bit. Excitement fills me and I look at my phone wanting to dial Sophia and tell her. Is it weird that she’s the one I want to reach for first with this kind of news? This is the beginning of getting somewhere in life. I can never make the money needed to keep my sister in school, but if the Sophia thing falls through maybe I can help her continue to live the lifestyle she’s living.
If I have to rely on just this income though, my mother will have to become a camping enthusiast or find a sugar daddy. That thought causes me to sit back down at the table. I’d never thought of my mother as a greedy woman, but now I wonder if she’d consider leaving my father if money was no longer available to her. Surely, she loved him? Uneasiness pits in my stomach.
Of course, Rosa had said she loved me. She’d said we’d be together forever. I’d even contemplated putting a ring on it and then she’d found someone else, so who can you believe.
“Hey, what are you doing,” I look up to see Julia walking into the kitchen with Pepper under her arm.
“I just had some bagels and I got a job!” I yell that last part.
She raises an eyebrow at my enthusiasm. “What the hell kind of job are you going to do?” Guess I was wrong that someone around here would be excited for me and the effort I’m making.
“Marketing manager for Baxter and Church. Jiji, be happy for me.” I really hope this job will be the beginning of me moving out of here at the least. Julia may not be my favorite person but I’m hoping this news will be a good thing.
The corners of her mouth turn up when she hears my nickname for her. There’s a little flush to her cheeks. I wished many times I could fall for her, but I’ll always see her as my best friend and I go out of my way to make sure she knows that.
“Why do you come watch her dogs? She’s literally upstairs right now.” I ask her.
She puts Pepper down and he runs into the other room barking at nothing.
“If you think your parents are too much, you should be at the Sugarman household lately. Which, my mother has been asking why you haven’t been over for ages.”
I roll my eyes, her parents probably wonder why I haven’t put a ring on Julia’s finger, but I couldn’t. They were good people but I didn’t feel the draw to Julia like I should. I couldn’t do that to her.
“What’s so bad about Frank and Carla?” I ask. I always loved going to Julia’s house when we were younger. It was a great escape from my house and all the things my parents expected of me when I was little.
“Carla has become more dependent on her little blue helpers and Frank is oblivious. He literally does nothing but sit in his chair and groan at the television. It’s just not comfortable for me at home anymore.”
I can tell she wants to talk more, but my phone rings again with Sophia’s number. Without thinking I put my hand up to stop her from saying anything else. I don’t want to be rude but this could be my baby momma. It’s a heady thought I can’t let go of and I don’t want to do this with Julia and her sad puppy eyes looking at me.
“I have to take this Julia, hold on.” I walk away from her, “Hello Sophia.”
“Hello, Thomas. I don’t want to make this an awkward drawn out thing. I’m about to go to work, but I’ve decided to have your baby. Send me the, um, details of how it needs to go down okay.” She doesn’t quite sound like herself but I’m so relieved to hear from her I don’t explore it further. We have time to hash out those other details and I’m just so glad we’re going to make this work.
“Oh, that’s great news Soph, I’m so happy. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay, well, then I better go.” She hangs up leaving me holding the phone to stare at for a second before I g
ive another fist pump to the room. Today is just a banner day. Everything is going my way.
“Who was that?” Julia asks as she shoves some bagel into her mouth and repeats my fist pump move. I’m not sure if she’s being sarcastic, but I’m too ecstatic to give it much thought.
This is it, it’s time to start acting and Julia knows me better than anyone. If she believes the lie then I’m golden.
“My girlfriend,” I say smiling and pouring myself more coffee to turn and look at Julia dead in the eye.
“Your girlfriend.” She says around the bagel in her mouth. She looks like she’d rather choke on it but this is something she’ll have to get used to.
“You know what would be fun. You and Mason should go out with Sophia and me. It would be a fun double date. He would love you and I think you’d enjoy him.” I put just enough enthusiasm in my voice.
“No thanks, I’ll pass,” Julia says. She shoves the rest of the bagel into her mouth and walks away. I wonder how often she’ll be by to watch mother’s dogs after this news.
I text Sophia because I just can’t wait.
I’ll pick you up tomorrow for a nice dinner and then we’ll go to a hotel and get a suite. I’ll wine and dine my baby mama.
I look at the words baby mama for a long time and try to imagine all the ways my life is going to change.