by Mia Ford
I was strong. I learned so much over the last five years but it was like all it disappeared with just one look from Dex. I didn’t know whether to be angry at myself or just accept that I was human and this was bound to happen. Either way, I knew I had to keep my wits about me and not give into him like I did last time. It was easier said than done as I hung from his neck, my face buried in his shoulder, and his arms wrapped tightly around me. I kept sighing to keep myself from bursting into tears, everything was very overwhelming. His scent was so familiar, like we were back on that couch underneath the pale twinkling Christmas lights, downing hazelnut liqueur and throwing caution to the wind. The feeling of his skin on mine was still fresh in my mind and just being close to him, his hips against me, an obvious erection in his pants, was so tantalizing I could barely take it. However, knowing where our first encounter led, I knew I had the willpower to resist.
As the song slowly came to an end, Dex held on to me, squeezing me tightly and breathing into my neck. I took a deep breath as he set me down gently on the ground. I looked up into his big blue eyes. He could tell something was wrong but I didn’t say a word. I smiled and turned to leave. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk, I just needed some space, and fast. He watched me shuffle off toward the bathroom, holding my hand against my chest. I didn’t know how to explain any of this to him. I rounded the corner and walked straight into the bathroom, stopping and gathering myself as I watched Natalie struggling with her dress. She looked up at me and smiled, breaking into a giggle. Just the sound of my best friend’s laugh made me feel better.
“What in the world are you doing?” I asked, looking at her twisted gown.
“I had to pee and no one was here to help so I stepped out of my dress for a minute to go. Now I can’t get it zipped.” She laughed, leaning against the wall and sweating slightly.
“Oh my god.” I burst into laughter. “You are a mess.”
I walked over and pulled her to her feet, turning her and straightening the gown while I connected the hooks she had somehow completely screwed up. I looked in the mirror as I pulled the zipper back up and tucked in the ribbons. She looked so happy and I didn’t want to ruin it but I needed to talk to someone.
“Your brother and I had a dance,” I said quietly.
“I know, I saw you,” she said, smirking.
“It's confusing,” I replied. “He’s been gone so long but it feels like he never left.”
“Are you okay?”
“Me? Yeah,” I said but it was a lie. “I mean sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Are you going to tell him about Seth?” I looked up at her as the words came out of her mouth, too shocked to even try and hide it. I came up with a full-proof lie about who Seth’s father was, how I got pregnant, the whole nine yards. I guess I should have realized I wouldn’t be able to keep it from Natalie, she knew me too well.
“I, how did you…no,” I finally stammered. “I mean, how would I even start that conversation? And God what if Seth was the one who got hurt? I’m not saying your brother is a bad guy but that is heavy and I just can’t take the chance of having him tell Seth, get close, and then leave again. Maybe when Seth is older.”
I leaned against the bathroom sink and took in a deep breath. How did everything get so complicated so fast? I came out here to celebrate my best friend’s marriage and I ended up having to face the thing I feared the most. I knew it was wrong to lie to Dex but we had made love once. It was my first time and then BAM, there I was with this adorable little person who I loved more than my own life. He was perfect in every way and I was terrified that Dex would somehow hurt him.
“I’m not saying my brother is a saint by any means,” Natalie said, holding my hand. “All I’m saying is he deserves to know. I will never say a word but I think that you should tell him eventually. At least promise me you’ll think about it.”
I nodded my head yes and closed my eyes as Natalie leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. She straightened her hair and wiped the sweat from her forehead before walking out of the bathroom. I stood there staring down at my hands, thinking about my little man at home with my mom. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I would never want to see him hurt, or worse. What if Dex tried to take him from me? I could never let that happen. I had no misconceptions about Dex, I knew he was a billionaire businessman who traveled the world, lived freely, and had never been known to settle down. There was no doubt in my mind that he would want to know but I didn’t think for a second he would fall to his knees and pledge his loyalty to us.
Seth lived in a different world than Dex. Seth’s was a world of bedtimes, cartoons, his drawings of buildings, and all the love he could handle from me and my mom. Dex lived in a world of penthouses, expensive cars, limos and the best clothes money could buy. It would be so confusing for Seth to be thrust into that world, possibly without the only two people he knew loved and cared for him. I didn’t know what to do but I knew I couldn’t go back out there and face Dex again, it was too dangerous for me. One look from those sultry eyes and he would have me right where he wanted. I would be putty in his capable hands.
I looked down at my watch and realized it was close to the time Natalie and Brandon would be heading off to their hotel for the night. If I left then, she wouldn’t even notice, especially with the ridiculous amount of pomp and circumstance that was going on. I couldn’t go back out there, not even to say goodbye. I grabbed my purse and turned, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I looked beautiful, just like a rich girl with her expensive gown and perfect makeup. The only problem was, I wasn’t that girl and never would be. I grew up a fallen police officer’s daughter, born and raised in Brooklyn, and destined for single motherhood. I was okay with that because I knew I could give Seth the love he deserved.
Things may have been complicated in my head because I knew the truth, I lived with that night every day since then, watching as it grew and blossomed into an adorable little boy, but for Dex, it was nothing more than rekindling an old flame. If I were to hide it and give in to his blue eyes, sexy body, and incredible charm, I knew, in the end, I would be left alone and broken, just like I was when he left last time. I couldn’t keep do this to myself again, it was too much.
I breathed deeply and nodded at myself in the mirror, gathering the strength I needed to unglue my feet from the bathroom floor. Shoving my clutch under my arm, I walked slowly out of the bathroom, peeking around the corner to make sure the coast was clear. Dex was sitting alone at his table, looking around for me, his gorgeous smile wiped from his face. He had to be wondering why I ran off and where I went, which was something I had to let go of. I turned the other direction and slipped into the shadows of the yard, making my way toward the parking lot. I would take a car back to the hotel for the night and then, I would bolt out to the city before anyone even noticed I was gone. I missed Seth and I wanted the comfort of my home and my family.
I stood at the side of the car watching as Natalie and Brandon came through the front doors holding hands and being followed by the whole of the reception. They laughed and waved as they dodged the wall of bubbles being blown in their direction. I smiled, knowing my best friend had found something I wasn’t sure I ever would. As they drove off, streaming sparkling lights shot up from the fireworks that lined the driveway. It was really beautiful and I could see Dex standing in the drive watching, his hands in his pockets, his bow tie hanging untied around his neck, and the glow of the fireworks casting shadows across his face. I wondered if that was what Seth would look like when he grew up, strong and sure with a lost look in the corner of his eye.
I took in a deep breath and ducked down into the car, asking the driver to wait until everyone went inside. I watched as Dex looked around the crowd, scratched his head and kicked at the ground beneath him. It wasn’t very ladylike for me to just run off without a word but I knew if I got anywhere near him, I would fall right into his arms. The last thing I needed in my life was to be heartbroken al
l over again. I told myself it was the right decision to make. I nodded to the driver who put the car in drive and pulled down the driveway.
I was making the right decision, that much I knew, but it was really hard to convince myself of that.
Chapter 5: Dex
My head was throbbing from the champagne I consumed at the wedding. I usually stayed away from the stuff, sticking to my normal whiskey and coke. But, it was there and once I got started I just kept going, especially after Casey disappeared and never returned. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. She was just as beautiful, if not more beautiful, than the day I met her and I was hoping to rekindle the flame between us. In my drunken state, I tried to find out her room number. We were in the same hotel so I thought it would be easy but the rooms had been blocked out with no names. Natalie had simply handed out keys when everyone arrived. The last thing I wanted to do was pound on every door in the hotel in the middle of the night just to find Casey. So, in my disappointment, I went up to the penthouse and passed out face down on the bed. It wasn’t until room service came knocking that I realized I had fallen asleep still in my tux and shoes.
I was glad my sister arranged everything, otherwise breakfast would have never even crossed my mind. I was more of a coffee and conference call kind of guy but Natalie knew that, which was why she sent food up. After my shower, I took note of the things the hotel needed to fix in the penthouse, which was a constant thing I did everywhere I went. I went downstairs and made sure my sister’s ride to the airport was on its way. They were going on an amazing vacation that Brandon planned. I tried to talk him into letting me pay for it but he refused, saying he saved up just for that. I liked how he did things, he was down to earth but at the same time, he understood my sister and her background. As I leaned against the side of the elevator, trying to stop the dizziness from overtaking me, Casey flashed through my mind. I could still feel her body pressed against me while we danced, the smell of her perfume had been absolutely intoxicating.
I shook the memory from my mind when I reached the proper floor and meandered down the hallway toward the honeymoon suite. I knocked on the door and smiled as I heard my sister talking and laughing loudly. Brandon opened the door and grinned, wiping his face from the brunch they were enjoying. He leaned in and hugged me warmly before stepping to the side and inviting me inside. I stepped over the door to find my sister dressed and ready to go, excitement etched in every line of her face.
“Good morning sweet brother,” she said, standing to kiss me on the cheek.
“Good morning.” I grumbled. “I came to let you know that your private jet is waiting on the tarmac and the car is downstairs. They’re scheduled and ready to get you to the South Pacific.”
“Excellent,” Brandon said, slapping me on the shoulder.
“Do you want some brunch,” my sister asked, pointing down at the mimosas and pancakes in front of her. My stomach flip flopped just looking at the bubbly.
“No, thank you. I got your breakfast this morning.” I smiled, taking a seat across from her while Brandon pulled their bags up to the door.
“So, how did things go with you and Casey last night?” She tried to sound nonchalant but I saw right through it.
“I thought they were going great,” I said, running my hands through my hair. “We were talking, laughing, dancing, just like we never missed a day. Then, poof, she was gone, nowhere to be found. I don’t know what I did but I completely struck out last night.”
Natalie sat quietly, finishing her brunch and setting her silverware down on the plate. She wiped her mouth with the anagrammed Canton Resorts cloth napkin and looked out the window. I could tell she was mulling over her next words, wanting to say the right thing. I always hated that silence, she usually came back with some lecture that was full of wisdom and truths I didn’t want to hear. She had a way of channeling our mother that I didn’t always appreciate. She turned back to me and smiled thoughtfully, reaching out to take my hand.
“Dex, I know you like Casey and I know you two hooked up before you left for Asia, but she is my very best friend,” she said with demure and class. “You know I love you but I also know that you are not the settling down type. You have this empire left by Mom and Dad and it’s your job to keep it afloat. You’ve done an amazing job but if you are just looking for another play toy, then you need to look somewhere else. Casey is not your girl if that’s all you want. She is so sweet and smart and deserves so much more than a casual lay. I could never be okay with you treating her like one of your play things, she is way too good for that.”
She patted me on the leg and took a sip of her mimosa, allowing me time to process her words of warning. Deep down, I knew this wouldn’t be as simple as waltzing back in town and picking up where we left off, at least not with a girl like Casey. She had a life, a career, and probably some sort of love interest that I couldn’t expect her to drop for another one-night stand. In all honesty, I spent the last five years completely dedicated to my work, not even thinking about any random trysts while I was away. However, the last thing I wanted to do was admit that to my sister and give her the wrong idea. My sister’s words did not skip over me. I took them to heart, knowing she had the best interest of both of Casey and me in mind when she spoke.
“I know.” I sighed, leaning back. “When she ditched, just left without a word last night, I got the message loud and clear. I don’t want to cause her any undue stress, Natalie. I may not be the relationship guy but I’m not a total asshole.”
“Oh, God, Dex, that is not what I meant,” she said, shaking her head. “I know you are a good guy at heart.”
“I don’t have any plans to pursue Casey,” I said, wanting to end the conversation. “I have a good couple of weeks in town and then, I am out again. I don’t want any complications either.”
“Good,” Natalie said, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. “Glad we settled that.”
My sister was so cunning sometimes, it was like she knew exactly what she wanted to hear and when it was said, she lifted the burden and moved on. I watched as Brandon walked over, leaned down, and kissed Natalie on the cheek. Her cheeks blushed and she closed her eyes with a blissful smile. They were the perfect couple and it was almost nauseating. In three weeks, I was going to be on a plane to South America to finish up some new acquisitions for the company. From there, I wasn’t sure where I would go. My sister was going to spend the holidays with Brandon and his family as far as I knew, so there was no real reason for me to sit in an empty penthouse, staring enviously out at families walking through the park. I had my fill of that last year, though the end was much better than I thought it would be.
“You ready to go?” My sister looked up at Brandon and smiled brightly.
When we opened the door, the staff was standing there waiting to carry down the bags. I tipped them generously and took the elevator to the bottom floor with my sister and new brother in-law. With them leaving and me deciding against any kind of relationship, short or long-term, I felt kind of lost as to what I would do with myself in the city for the next three weeks. I figured I might as well get some extra work done while I was here. It would help me ignore all the holiday decorations the city was already putting up. We reached the bottom floor and walked through the lobby, smiling as some of the guests watched us walk outside. The staff went to work loading the trunk while I pulled my sister into a tight embrace.
“You take care of yourself in South America,” she said while I squeezed her. “Don’t drink the water and stay out of the rivers.”
“Yes mom,” I said, chuckling. She kissed my cheek and ducked into the car. Brandon turned to me and shook my hand, thanking me for everything I did to make sure their day was perfect. I stood on the sidewalk and watched as they drove off down the street. I looked around at the beautiful trees that had already changed colors and decided that building this hotel in upstate was a good idea, though I was ready to get back to the city. It was late in the aft
ernoon on a Sunday, so I figured traffic wouldn’t be too bad. I would still have time to work when I got back.
I went back upstairs and gathered my things, hanging my tux on the door to be returned. I owned several tuxes but having been out of the country so long, it was easier to rent one for the occasion. I carried my small bag back downstairs and hopped into the limo that was parked out front. The driver wasn’t my usual but then again, nothing was really the same after five years away. As we drove along, I stared out at the passing farms, the crops brown and withered, and the trees dancing in vibrant colors of oranges and reds. Casey immediately flew through my mind. What I told my sister, though flighty in nature, had to be the truth. I was leaving and wasn’t sure how long I would be gone this time. There was no way I could promise my time to Casey in any concrete way. That night five years ago was so amazing it kept my mind occupied through all these years but it was just that, a memory. One that had repercussions.