by Mia Ford
I tug her underwear to one side and slip into Avril and start bucking my hips to make her bounce up and down on top of me. She already has her breasts free so they move as we do, making my mouth salivate desperately. All I want to do now is take her nipple in my mouth again, but unfortunately, we’re in the wrong position to do this, so instead I work my hand around and I use my fingers to play with her clit. I’m still keen for her to enjoy this to the fullest, even if it isn’t work.
Avril moans and thrusts back against me, really getting into it. I can tell that seeing us both in the mirror is really doing it for her, just like it is me.
“You are really fucking beautiful,” I grunt as I run kisses over her shoulder. “Just look at yourself.” I don’t think she wants to at first, she seems shy. “Look, Avril, please. Do it for me.”
She does, and as she sees herself her eyes widen with shock. In the mirror, she’s free, disheveled, wild, and stunning. I hope she gets that. I want her to see herself through my eyes, if only for a moment. I think she’s wonderful, the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on in my life.
“Oh God!” Finally, the pleasure gets her and as she crumbles and thrashes above me, I hold her close. Her walls contract around me, dragging the orgasm from me too, and soon we’re coming together in a moment that feels so intimately wonderful that I actually might feel something.
Once we’re done, and Avril collapses onto the bed, the warm heat of the post orgasmic glow gives way to a cold shame. Not because of what just happened, because that was off the scale, but because I know it can’t ever go anywhere. I can’t date a client, that’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. It’s like the most basic rule of escorting. Never get feelings for anyone at work.
“I better go,” I gush desperately while grabbing my clothes back on. “This wasn’t… it wasn’t a good idea. We shouldn’t have done that. It makes things very complicated.”
“Owen, will you…” Avril tries to say something calm and probably rational to me, but I don’t want to hear it, I can’t while I’m in such a panic. Anxiety races through me, filling up my veins, making me feel like I cannot get enough air into my lungs however hard I suck it back. “Wait, please.”
“No, Avril, I have to go. I’m sorry, this… I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
I push out the motel door and I race rapidly towards the nearest taxi rank. I need to get out of here and back to college campus fast before I end up heading back there and scooping Avril up into my arms with a promise that I’ll love her forever more. I could, but I won’t. I’m not good enough for her. I can never be, especially not while I’m in this line of work.
It isn’t until I get into the nearest car and I’m whizzing along the road that I realize I didn’t even get payment from Avril for my time. That’s annoying, but probably for the best. It might be better for us to cut ties completely and never speak again. Even if I really, really want to.
Chapter Seven – Avril
My bed is cold, too cold for this morning. As I twist and turn uncomfortably under the sheets I realize that nothing feels quite right. My entire body shouldn’t feel this icy at all. I guess that’s because Owen isn’t here with me and I really wish that he was.
Shit this is bad, I think while shoving the pillow over my head. This is realty bad.
I already knew that I liked Owen, I felt very aware that my feelings were a bit too much… but now it’s more. It’s a whole lot more. I have the horrifying sensation that I’m seriously falling for him. I shouldn’t have done this, any of it. Stepping foot into the world of paying a man for sex was never going to work out well for me. I should’ve guessed that I would end up emotionally attached to him. Especially after last night when we had sex for a whole other reason entirely. No money ever exchanged hands, there wasn’t even a mention of payment. It’s all too confusing.
Thinking about last night stirs and churns up my entire body. It wasn’t ever supposed to be that but we lost control of ourselves. An intense sensation overcame us and we couldn’t hold back even if we wanted to. That powerful magnetism, the bubble of chemistry, it was undeniable. Maybe if either of us had considered it for a moment, we would’ve run in the opposite direction, but maybe not.
I make myself stand and I throw my head into my hands in desperation. What the hell am I going to do now? I’ve made such a mess of things that it doesn’t seem like there’s anywhere to turn. I can’t exactly call up Owen and ask him what he thinks about all of this, he’s an escort, one that couldn’t get away from me quick enough last night, proving that he doesn’t want to know. I guess I just need to take this as a learning experience, be glad for the things I’ve learned and try to move on.
I huff as I move across the room, trying to forget the sinking feeling in my chest. I have a job to do today and some more information to help me achieve it. I’ve got to get in there, kick some ass at this stupid sex scene and then hopefully not think about romance again for a very long time…
***
“You did good today,” Buzz comments as we walk off set in a much more pleasant tone than he usually uses to address me. “I’m impressed, you really pulled it out the bag.”
The compliment feels weird when I’m semi naked with only a skin colored G string and a tiny towel covering my body, but I try to take it graciously. It feels nice to have him being sweet with me, it isn’t what I’m used to. Usually he looks at me like I’m a much lesser being than him.
“Oh right… thanks,” I reply with a small smile playing on my lips. “It wasn’t easy…”
“You made it look easy. I mean, today you moved your body brilliantly. It was almost as if you could see yourself through the camera lens and you knew how to make it work.”
I can’t reply to that because instantly it fills me with images of Owen. He helped me to understand exactly what I need to do. Watching myself in the mirror… well that was a lesson I don’t think I’ll ever forget. But of course, I’m not thinking about him right now.
“I just, erm, did some real thinking about it and luckily it worked out well.”
I shrug my shoulders in a coy way and turn to move towards my dressing room. This is definitely the sort of conversation that I’d much prefer to have dressed but it seems that Buzz has other ideas. He fixes his hand onto my shoulder and he spin me back around to look at him.
“You know…” He pauses and clicks his tongue a couple of times before nodding. “Yeah, you know what? I think me and you should go out some time. Like for a date or whatever.”
My heart leaps up into my throat, I can barely believe his words. When I first took this job I would’ve jumped at an opportunity like this. Buzz is gorgeous, that’s why he’s been picked to play the male lead role in this movie, but as I’ve gotten to know him I haven’t liked him as much. But today he’s being nice, and today more than ever I really need someone to be nice to me.
“Are you serious?” I gush in shock. “What do you mean? Like, for real?”
Buzz laughs at me and he rests a hand on my arm. I wait for the butterflies to flap through my body, but they don’t. Everything remains stoically still within me. “Of course, I’m serious. You’ve been so awesome to work with and you’re good looking too. We look good together.”
I part my lips, about to make my excuses since this doesn’t feel like the sort of moving on I should be doing, but before I get a chance to say anything, Carly pipes up from behind me, making me jump since I didn’t even know she was there. “She would love to!” she declares with gusto. “Shall we say seven PM tonight? You can pick her up at the end of Fuller Street?”
I half expect the childishness of my friend getting in the middle to put Buzz off, but it doesn’t. He chuckles and nods, agreeing with Carly which effectively seals the deal for me. Looks like I’m going on this date with my co star after all, and I’m not even excited about it.
“What did you do that for?” I gush once Buzz has gone. “Have you gone insane?”
&n
bsp; “Have you?” Carly’s eyes burn holes in me as she flings her hands onto her hips. “Buzz is a good-looking actor, who by the way has more fame than you at the moment, so why wouldn’t you?”
“Are you actually suggesting that I go out with him for fame?” I’m horrified, I don’t ever want to become that person. The girl in a ‘showmance’. “Because that’s crazy.”
“It couldn’t hurt.” She shrugs. “But no, I think you should because you’ve just got yourself back up on the horse, so why not take that one step further and go dating? You really need to get back out there in the romantic world and I think that this is a good place to begin. You and Buzz have chemistry, you have something in common, you could make a cute couple.”
“He isn’t the nicest though, is he?” I pout back. I don’t like this plan at all. Maybe I do need to forget but this feels all kinds of wrong. “I haven’t ever really got on with him until today…”
“Which is why today is the perfect day. Trust me, Avril, you need this.”
I suppose in a way her words are right, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear them. It’s smart to think about dating when I haven’t for so long, I do miss the idea of love and I want to invite it into my life, but with Owen still firmly playing in my mind, how can I? I have butterflies with him, real feelings, he’s like a friend as well as someone I like. But of course, he’s also out of bounds.
“Urgh, I don’t have a choice anyway?” I glance behind myself to see Buzz leaning up against the wall and sipping some water, still half naked. Objectively he’s still stunning, but is that going to be enough? “You’re going to have to help me with this, you do understand that?”
“Oh yes, we must find the perfect dress for you to wear. Especially if the paparazzi are going to photograph you which I’m sure they’ll want to.”
I have the funny feeling that Carly’s thinking more about that side than the date side, but I can’t be bothered to push her on it. I suppose a big part of being an actress is being photographed anyway so if this helps then so be it. I need all the encouragement I can to get me on this date.
“Right, I think we better get you dressed now, I don’t know what Lee’s plans are for the rest of the day. I’ll go and speak to him and find out…”
As Carly races off, I head to my dressing room to lock myself away to get the privacy that I so desperately need. Once alone I grab out my cell phone and am crushed by the lack of communication. I guess I thought he might send me a message or something throughout the day, wanting to talk.
I need to delete his number, I tell myself decidedly. Cut him out of my life completely.
I hover my finger over the delete button, willing myself to press it but there’s a deep resistance there. Something in my brain really doesn’t want me to, and I’m sure it’s the part of me that’s falling deeply for Owen when I know that I shouldn’t be. I jolt my finger, but yank it back up again before I do the deed. I have a mental block, one that won’t let me go.
Delete his number, go on this date with Buzz, and move on. Who knows, he might even be a gentleman. He might be ‘the one’ and I push him away because I can’t let go.
“Right…” Luckily Carly bursts into the room before I have to make a choice. “Lee wants to redo a couple of the apartment scenes to get them just right, so we need to find that dress you wore.”
I drop my cell phone back on the side and concentrate on getting changed. That, I know I can do, it’s certainly a lot easier than being bold and smart and getting rid of Owen. Even now, when he’s clearly rejected me, he has a hold over me. Really, it’s embarrassing!
Chapter Eight – Owen
“You okay, Owen?” Tyler asks me, sounding concerned. “You’ve been staring at that page in your text book for over an hour now. The same one. What’s going on, mate?”
I sigh loudly and drop the book. To be honest I didn’t even know that I still had it in my hands. It was supposed to be a distraction from all the confusion circling my brain but it hasn’t done anything to help at all. If anything, I’m more lost in Avril than I was beforehand. She’s consumed me!
“Yeah, this crap is just a bit dull, that’s all. I think I might need to go to the library…”
“Woah, boring, are you serious?” Tyler touches my forehead as if he’s hunting for a fever. “You love all this business studies crap. I’ve never known you be bored of it. You can’t start thinking that way now, this is all nearly over. It’ll be into the big wide world soon enough!”
He’s right, I know he is. About all of it. I do love my course, that’s why I’ve scarified so much to be here. Plus, I need to get this qualification if I don’t want to end up escorting forever more, I don’t exactly have family money to fall back on anymore, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.
“Something has been going on with you over the past couple of days. Ever since you went to see that actress. Did something happen on that job? You were there much later than you said you would be. I might not understand much about what you do, but you know you can talk to me.”
I avert my gaze, not wanting Tyler to see right through me. In a way, he’s right. It has only been a couple of days, we’ve only seen each other twice. I shouldn’t be this complicated. I should be able to extract myself from the situation easily and that should be the end of it. I don’t understand why my heart physically aches at the idea of never seeing Avril again.
“Nothing happened,” I reply flatly. “It isn’t like that. We just…”
“Oh, my God, it’s finally happened!” Tyler sounds aghast as leaps up. “You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you? You’ve finally come across a client that you actually like! You don’t need to answer me because I already know. It’s written all over your face. You’re in love.”
“I’m not in love, I’ve only met her a couple of times,” I shoot back, but my voice is tart, making it excruciatingly obvious that he’s hit the nail on the head. “Anyway, it hardly matters, does it? I can’t start falling for clients, it’s all wrong. I’ll just have to never take jobs with her again.”
I try to make it sound simple, but it isn’t and Tyler knows that as well as I do. The idea of Avril ringing up and booking an appointment with someone else destroys me – even though I don’t think she will – and the concept of her actually meeting someone is even worse. The thought of her in love with another man makes me want to weep with rage. I haven’t ever been like this before over anyone, I’ve never been the jealous type even in relationships, but Avril seems to bring it out of me.
“Why are you being so strange about it?” Tyler laughs. “Does it really matter if you like someone that you’ve worked with? Is it that much of a big deal? Are there rules?”
“Of course, there are rules! It isn’t a seedy company I work for, they are legit.”
I gather up my things, needing to make an escape. This conversation is making me very uncomfortable, Tyler is attempting to force me to face some home truths that I’m not really in the mood for. This is challenging enough without him making it worse.
“What sort of girl would want to date an escort anyway?” I blurt out thickly. “None, so it isn’t even an issue. I really do need to get to the library now, I have too much work to do to worry about this. I’ve got an essay to write, an exam to study for… I can’t think about this any longer.”
I stomp off, ignoring Tyler’s pleas for me to stay and talk to him some more. I don’t want to actually get upset about this dumb situation that I’ve allowed myself to fall into, especially not in front of my friend. I need to just bury my head back in college work and to forget all about it.
Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
My heart lifts for a brief second as I hear my cell phone, I have the idiotic hope that it might be Avril but that hope fades once I get that it’s my work phone. This will only be Emma, offering me more work and there’s no chance it’ll be with the one person I want it to be since she would contact me directly. No, this is a job that
will help me to move past my current confusion.
But I don’t answer. Instead of picking it up, I hit the reject button and stuff it back into my pocket. I should work, I need to work, nothing has changed in that department, but I can’t even think about it right now. The idea makes me sick. I need a little time out, I just hope Emma understands. I’m not usually one to simply not answer her call, so I hope she realizes I need this break.
With my head bowed low and my heart sunken in my chest, I get into the library where I shove my things onto the nearest free table. I already know that actual education won’t work as a distraction today, I’ve already tried that and all I did was think about Avril and her beautiful face, her sweet smile, her soft skin, the way that she turns from a cutie pie into a sex goddess at exactly the right moment… No, what I need to do today is something more productive. If I focus on my future, it might work.
I grab some reading material and a tablet and I begin searching for companies that I might want to work for once my time at college is over. Ultimately, I want to start my own business, that’s always been a dream of mine, but I’m not going to do it without some genuine experience first. I need to get in, to see how successful companies do it, then I can work out my own strategies.
This is something I can absorb myself in, it helps me to focus. Thinking about where my life will be once I leave all of his behind is useful. That’s the sort of time where I’ll be able to think about love and that sort of thing, I don’t need to do it now. I’m only young anyway, I don’t know anyone who finds their ‘happy ever after’ at this age. Avril is just a phase, I will get over her soon.