by Magan Vernon
Everyone else small talked amongst themselves, which left me to either talk to myself or people watch.
People watching it was.
There was a mix of reality TV stars, athletes, and musicians. All glamorous. All poignant as they did mini interviews with Billy.
This was the world I thought I wanted to be in. The music industry. To discover new talent. Go to shows and meet people.
Maybe that wasn't what I was supposed to be doing with my life.
Maybe I wasn't up to these standards.
"Ladies and Fellas, can I have your attention, please?" The DJ's voice boomed over the microphone and knocked me out of my inner pity party.
The guy behind the DJ booth was a new talent that Ry discovered when he was on spring break in New Orleans, filming a show with Ashley and the rest of the cast. He looked like some kind of white rapper wannabe with his sideways visor and giant ECHO shirt, but the guy had a voice that I couldn't help but be drawn to.
"Y'all came for the wedding, but we all know that you stayed for the party of the yeaaarrrr!"
Everyone whooped, hollered, and clapped.
"Now, it's time to introduce the people who made this party possible, by giving birth to Ashley Morningstar-Stone, Meg and Phillllll!"
Everyone clapped as Meg and Phil weaved through the tables and chairs, holding hands and raising their fists in the air once they got to the wooden dance floor in the middle of all the tables.
The DJ went through the list of the other names in the bridal party, which had to be a few dozen people, then it came to Jay and Layna.
"Now we have a special treat for y'all. The Golden Boy himself took a break from swimming to escort the lovely reality princess. Give it up for Jay Morningstar and Layna Downs!"
I clapped, searching the crowd until I saw Jay. My mouth dropped open when I could only see the top of his head and him, crawling on all fours with Layna on top of him, smiling, and giggling like she was riding some prized stallion.
Yes, everyone else did some goofy dancing moves as they walked to the middle of the dance floor, but did she need to ride him?
I stopped clapping and kept my eyes glued to them. Once they got to the middle of the floor, she got off Jay and helped him up, giving him a kiss on the mouth that was definitely not chaste. He didn't push her off or say anything. He just smiled and put his arm around her.
"Uh oh, the mister and misses better watch out for these two! We may have another romance kindling here," the DJ said.
The heat of everyone's eyes at the table fell on me. I couldn't look at them. I couldn't look at anyone but Jay. Jay who wasn't looking through the crowd for me, but just smiling and waving for the camera.
Was it an act with Layna?
Was it an act with me?
I couldn't concentrate on anything else. The announcement of the bride and groom. Their first dance.
I just stared at Jay and Layna as she kept whispering in his ear and he laughed at whatever she said.
I waited.
I waited through the over the top seven course dinner.
I waited through the bridesmaid and groomsmen dances where Layna grabbed Jay's ass and Billy definitely got it on camera.
After cake was served and people got out on the dance floor, I finally stood up.
I'd had enough.
I walked toward the table where Jay was, thinking what the hell I was going to say or do.
By the time I was within a few feet, Layna had gotten to him first, whispering in his ear.
He smiled and nodded, then she took his hand and they ran off somewhere on the beach with the other bridesmaids and groomsmen.
I stood in the middle of the dance floor like an idiot. Some people whispered. Some just tried to elbow me out of the way.
I had absolutely nowhere to go.
So I went back to my seat and pulled out my phone.
There were a few missed texts from Dana and a few from Sofie.
I opened the messages from Sofie.
Having fun?
I bit my bottom lip, thinking of the right words to say to my best friend. The one who was so excited for me to get with Jay, but at the same time pretty much predicted this would happen. That this would be a fling.
If watching your boyfriend go off somewhere with his ex-girlfriend counts as fun.
Sofie replied back quickly.
WTF?
I couldn't even believe I was typing the words myself. I needed to talk to her. To talk to someone so I wasn't lonely girl.
Can you talk?
Yeah.
I looked around the wedding then grabbed my purse before heading toward the beach.
I dreamed about watching the sunset on the beach and looking at the dark clouds with the even darker water as it lapped the sand.
But this wasn't the beautiful experience I had hoped for.
Slumping down into the sand, I didn't care how dirty my dress got, I just needed to talk to my best friend.
"What’s up, Lia?"
Sofie answered on the first ring and just hearing her voice was all I needed for tears to prick my eyes, but I blinked them back. I wasn't going to cry. Not here. Not ever.
"Just wondering if I was stupid to come. Stupid to ever think about California, USC, and a career in music, or that I'd have a future with Jay Morningstar."
Sofie sighed. "Are you sure you aren't overreacting?"
I snorted. "I'm not much of the dramatic type."
That made her laugh. "Okay, whatever you want to believe, Rosalia."
"I just…I've barely seen him all day and then when I finally go to see him, he runs off with his ex-girlfriend."
"Are you sure that's what he was doing? I mean, maybe it was just a bridal party thing. When you brought me as your date to your brother's wedding, I didn't see you all night. Luckily I made friends with your cousins from Sicily or I'd have been calling someone and crying too."
"It wasn't that bad."
Sofie laughed. "Yeah, because you weren't the one stuck with a table full of people who barely spoke English."
I huffed.
Sofie sighed. "Listen, babe, you've been with Jay for over a month now. The longest I've ever seen you with a guy. At first I thought you were just something to keep him occupied while he was here training. Then I started to see your relationship grow. He loves you, Lia. He really does. He looks at you the way he looks at a swimming pool. Like he's excited to dive right in."
I wrinkled my nose. "Not the best analogy."
"Lia. Stop."
"Stop what?"
Sofie huffed. "This is what you do. You put up this humorous defense mechanism like you don't give a shit. That the world's a joke and you can make everything funny and pretend it doesn't matter. But you can't fool me, Lia. I've known you all of my life and I know you're just as crazy about Jay Morningstar as he is for you. If you love him then you have to trust him."
I wanted to say something snarky back about her taking those psych classes too seriously. But I couldn't.
She was right.
And that's what hurt more.
Some people gathered by the shore, one tall one stood out in the middle, holding up a phone for a group selfie.
Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe he really did love me.
And maybe I had to do exactly what I did last night and take charge.
"You're right, Sofie. I'll call you when I get back in town, okay?"
"Okay, babe. You'd better give me all the deets. I don't want to read them online, I want the good stuff from the golden boy's girlfriend."
I laughed. "Will do. Bye, Sofie."
"Bye, Lia."
I hung up the phone and stood, turning around and brushing the sand off my butt. I was pretty sure some sand was stuck in random crevices in the beading of the dress and I didn't want to think about how I was going to get all of that out.
A cold hand crept on my shoulder. I gasped and turned toward a very wobbly Layna who was smiling like she had a sec
ret.
"Um, can I help you?" I looked to Layna then past her at Jay, still talking to the group of people at the shore, then back to Layna.
"What do you think you're doing?" Layna narrowed her eyes.
"Uh, I was talking to a friend and now I'm going to go talk to Jay. You know, my boyfriend, Jay." I added extra emphasis on the word boyfriend for good measure.
Layna smacked her lips together. "Really? You think he's just going to stop talking to everyone to come hang out with you?"
I raised my eyebrows. "He did last night, didn't he?"
She smirked. "Look, honey, you seem like a nice girl and all...but..."
She put her arm around me and I felt my skin crawl as she stood next to me and nodded toward the shore. "That man is an Olympic champion. He breathes and lives the sport. He’s grown up in the limelight. He loves it. He may be making you all of these promises and talk about your future. He did the same with me. But we both know that he's going to forever be married to the pool and the darling of Speedo and all of his other sponsors. While you..."
She turned toward me, taking her arms off me and narrowing her eyes. "You're some small town waitress that he's having a good time with. I know he has a thing for glasses and charity. You may clean-up for the cameras with your contacts and some cheap knock off dress, but we both know it's only a matter of time before he gets tired of having to take care of his girlfriend. Has to worry about her not blending in at these parties."
Tears pricked my eyes for the second time tonight, but I tried to stand my ground, balling my hands into fists.
Layna took a step closer, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "When we went out for a smoke he told me how uncomfortable you looked out there. He told me how worried he was about his girlfriend not getting along with everyone. How long is he going to keep worrying about you Lia before he decides that you're not worth it? That you're a nobody and always will be?"
I wanted to scream. To say something snarky and make a joke.
Sofie was right. That was my defense mechanism.
But instead of turning to that, my fists reacted first and connected with Layna's jaw, making a cracking sound as her face spun to the side and she fell to the ground.
I looked up to see Billy and Mike running toward me as I walked through the sand to the shore.
"Did you just do what I think you did?" Mike asked, staring at me with his eyes wide.
I kept walking toward Jay as the guys looked at me then behind me on the beach. I heard some whispers and Layna's cries, but I ignored it, keeping my focus on Jay.
When he finally saw me, his smile faded and he excused himself from the group, walking toward me. "Hey, babe, I've been looking for you. What's up?"
"What's up? What's up is that your girlfriend just cold-clocked Layna," Billy said.
Jay's eyes widened. "What?"
Mike adjusted his camera. "Hey. We need to get a replay of that. We were too far out to get a good view. Do you think you and Layna can do that again? The whole conversation and then the punch? Maybe not as hard this time though."
I looked from Mike to Billy then my eyes finally drifted to Jay's. It was the first time I'd ever seen disappointment in his eyes.
I didn't know if he wanted me to say “yes.” To do what made the producers happy.
This would be my spotlight on TV. This would take me from lonely girl to...to the girl with the punch heard around the world.
Not looking at Mike or Billy, I took Jay's hand. "I'm ready to go."
"Babe, I can't just leave. It's my sister's wedding," he said, lowering his voice.
Putting on the biggest smile he could, Jay put his arm around my waist. "What do you say we go and have a drink, do some dancing, and you can meet some people?"
"Why? So you don't have to worry about your awkward girlfriend being a misfit at every event? I'm not going to go have a drink so you can get drunk and make an ass of yourself and that'll be what goes on all those trashy news outlets. The awkward girlfriend and drunken swimmer." The words came out sharper than I intended and Jay winced as if I'd punched him as well.
"Shit, can you say that again? Same emotion? We didn't get sound on it," Billy asked.
Mike fiddled with the camera.
"We can always add it in during studio time as well."
I looked between Jay and Billy then ripped the mic off my back and handed it to Billy. "No."
Stomping in the opposite direction, I didn't look behind me until Jay was at my back and spun me around. "What the hell was that about, Lia? PMS or something?"
I gritted my teeth. "Did you tell your ex-girlfriend you were worried about me being an outsider here?"
Jay tilted his head. "What? Are you seriously worried about something my drunk ex-girlfriend said?"
I sighed. "Just tell me if it's true."
He looked down at the ground and raked his fingers through his hair that had been growing out. "I mean yeah I may have mentioned that I was worried about you not knowing anyone but I didn't mean anything by it."
"Then what did you mean?" I crossed my arms over my chest.
Jay stared at me. Even in the moonlight, his blue eyes shone brighter than the deepest ocean. "I meant that you always find this way to put a wall up between you and other people. Even me. Brick by brick I've been trying to take it down. Get you out of your comfort zone and see the smart, sexy, and fun girl that the rest of the world should see and not just me. But then you go right back to putting that wall up as soon as things get hard."
Sofie may have just said something similar that I agreed with, but when it came from Jay it was a bigger sting.
I blinked hard and unclenched and clenched my fist. "Maybe you should find a girl who’s easier. Who you don't have to break down. Don't have to be worried about. Then you can just knock down those walls and not be on the edge. You can just go full cray. Smoke it up!"
"Lia..."
He went to put his arm around me but I backed up and shook my head, willing myself not to cry.
"I'm going to take a cab back to the hotel. Maybe sleep off my PMS or something."
Jay shook his head and licked his lips. "Babe. Don't do that, come on."
"I need to. I've already made a big enough scene and I just...I need to go..."
I turned around and kicked off my shoes then ran.
I knew he could catch me if he wanted to. I wanted him to.
But he didn't.
He didn't show up at the front of the resort where I waited twenty minutes for a cab. He didn't show up while I laid on the couch in the big hotel room.
As I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I prayed that he would come back. That maybe he'd still want to break down my walls.
Or maybe I knew this was the beginning of the end.
Chapter 21
I woke up with my back aching. For such a nice place, it had the most uncomfortable couch in the world.
I didn't hear Jay come in the night before.
A sinking feeling went down in my gut. Maybe he never came back to the room.
Standing up, I stretched out and walked over to the bedroom, praying that I'd see him sprawled across the bed.
But he wasn't.
The bed was unmade and a mess with his clothes from the night before on the floor, so at least that was a good sign.
I glanced at the clock beside the bed.
Five-thirty.
If he wasn't in bed and his clothes were on the floor....
I didn't need to check anywhere else. Running into the bathroom, I rummaged through my bag and found my bathing suit at the bottom. Quickly, I freshened up and put it on, thanking the stars I remembered to pack it.
It felt like the longest elevator ride ever to the pool.
There was a sign on the big glass door that gave pool hours starting at ten AM. Of course the staff would break those rules for Jay Morningstar.
A large man with a shaved head and a no-nonsense face stood by the door wearing a polo with the hotels log
o inscribed over the breast pocket.
"Sorry, ma'am, pool's closed," he said, crossing his large arms over his broad chest.
"My boyfriend's in there." I stared at the man, trying to figure out how I could convince him I wasn’t some random fangirl.
He smirked. "You’re not the first girl to run here saying that. Sorry, ma'am. You can come back when the pool opens."
"No. He really is my boyfriend, see!" I pulled my phone out of my purse, silently patting myself on the back for remembering it, and scrolled through my pictures. I pulled up all the ones of Jay and me, practically pushing them in the man's face.
The guy sighed. "Okay. Okay. You made your point. I'm just hoping this isn't photoshopped and I have to call the cops."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not that desperate."
Don't look so desperate.
Those words haunted me. How many people had said that to me and how many more would?
The man put a keycard in the door and then opened it.
The room was completely empty and the air was stale, almost suffocating. The only sound was the lapping of Jay's arms as he moved through the pool.
I stood at one end and watched him glide through the water like he was a part of it. That nothing else was going to bother him.
It wasn't until he got closer that I noticed he was only moving his arms and his thighs were holding a blue foam thing between them. He used all of his upper body to move and kept his legs together, squeezing the foam thing.
Instead of waiting for him to notice me, I jumped in and waved my arms and legs frantically until he finally lifted his head then slowly made his way over to the wall.
I wasn't exactly the best swimmer, so I stayed gripped tightly onto the side and waited.
Shaking his head, he pulled off his goggles, putting them on the floor next to the edge of the pool. Then he removed the foam spoon shaped thing from between his thighs and set it next to his goggles.
"Hey." He shook his head again like a wet dog.
"Hey yourself, dude-who-is-swimming-with-some-kind-of-pillow-between-his-legs."
He smirked and wiped his face. "I'm glad that's the first thing you decided to say to me this morning. No, 'Hey, I'm going to get waffles'."