But no matter how much I wanted her, I knew that fucking her would only make things messy at this point. The attraction was there, but I wanted to build a strong foundation for our relationship. I wanted it to be so strong that we had something unbreakable. We started out rocky, but I wanted everything moving forward to be based on something special.
I finally cleaned up the shop and headed inside for the night. I still had plenty of hours in the day, but for once, I just wanted to chill out and watch a game with my brothers. Tomorrow would come too quickly, and then it was back to the grindstone.
I walked in the house and took a shower, thinking about Katherine the whole time. When I was pressed up against her and I felt her curves against my body, I couldn’t help the response my body took. It wasn’t just my cock that wanted her. My whole body shook with a need that I had never felt before. My cock had pressed against my zipper so tight when it brushed against her. It would be nice for once to think that it was just my cock that wanted her, but I knew better. That just wasn’t the way I was built. I wasn’t like other guys that just got horny and wanted any woman they passed. Yeah, I still jacked off if I wasn’t getting laid, but it was all using my imagination. But it wasn’t like I walked around with a perpetual woody. My body responded when I was really attracted to a woman. That was why it always took me so long to close the deal with a woman. I needed to really want her. My body had to crave her.
Honestly, this was the first time that my body had ever craved a woman as desperately as Katherine. It was why I had a hard time pulling away from her, why I had snatched her arm when she tried to leave. I just needed to touch her one last time. It had taken everything in me not to kiss her when I wanted to. I had wanted to pull her hair off her shoulders and suck on her neck. I wanted to slide my hands under her shirt and palm her breasts in my hands and feel her soft skin under my calloused fingers. But that wouldn’t have helped our situation any. No, I needed to be smart about this. I needed to make sure that we could be compatible in other ways, and not just in the bedroom. That wouldn’t do our child any good.
“Hey,” Will nodded as I came downstairs. “I didn’t think you were ever getting out of that shower.”
“I had a lot on my mind,” I said, not really paying attention to him.
“Yeah? Anyone in particular?”
I glanced up and saw him grinning at me. “Don’t be a shit head.”
“What? It’s nice to see my brother in love.”
“I’m not in love.”
“Right,” he snorted, taking a sip of his beer.
“It’s not love. It’s…it’s the possibility of more.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded. I didn’t know how to explain it, and I doubted my brother would understand. As far as I knew, he had never come close to being in love. He wasn’t quite as discerning with who he slept with.
“Well, from what I’ve seen of her, she seems like a good match for you.”
“A good match?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, I mean, she’s hot, which is like ten points in her favor.”
I rolled my eyes. “I wasn’t aware that hotness points were all that mattered.”
“It’s not, but it’s a great start. I mean, would you be so attracted to her if she wasn’t so beautiful? Can you honestly say that it doesn’t factor in at all?”
“No, I can’t, but that’s not all that matters in a relationship.”
“Exactly, and that’s where you and she fit. She’s your opposite. She balances you out.”
“How do you figure?”
“Well, she lightens you up. She makes you think about other things.”
“You’ve met her once. How could you possibly know this?”
“Because I talked to Joe.”
“Here we go,” I said, snatching a beer out of the fridge. I leaned against the counter. I couldn’t wait to hear this. “So, what does Joe say?”
“Well, he had a talk with her when she got here today.” My fist tightened on my beer as I thought of my kid brother hitting on my woman. My woman? The woman I was…having a child with.
“And what did he say?”
“You should be happy. He talked you up, said what a great guy you are and she’s the luckiest woman in the world, because she’s got your devotion until the day she dies. Or something like that.”
“That doesn’t sound like Joe.”
“No, but believe it or not, he’s not just some idiot running around talking in incomplete sentences. He does pay attention and he sees what this woman could mean to you. And he has your back. You know that’s always the way it’ll be with us.”
“I guess…I hadn’t really thought about it like that. I just always pictured Joe as…Joe.”
“That’s because you only see what you want to see. It’s the same thing with this woman. Where you see a chaotic mess, I see a woman that has the potential to give you the life you’ve always wanted, but like no other woman could.”
I thought back to the shop, knowing that there was definitely potential there. “I just have to take things slow.”
“That’s always your problem, man. You take things too slow.”
“Will, we’re not talking about a woman I want to fuck. We’re talking about the woman that’s carrying my child. We’ve already had a rough start. I can’t just go fuck her and not think of the consequences.”
“That she might like you even more?” he laughed incredulously. “Come on, you need to take the risk now or you may miss out on the opportunity.”
I shook my head. I didn’t need my brother telling me how to play this. I knew deep down that I needed to proceed with caution. “I’m not in this just to see if we’ll have a relationship. I’m in this for the long haul. She’s carrying my kid and I want that kid to live with both his or her parents. In order to do that, I need to build something real with her. I know you don’t understand that because you’ll fuck anything in a skirt, but I have more at stake here, and I’m not gonna fuck it up.”
“Alright,” he said, holding up his hands. “I’m not trying to rush you, man. I just don’t want you to miss out on something good with her.”
I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. I knew that things were building between us, but what if it was all sexual? What if I couldn’t convince this woman that I was the man for her? I understood now that she didn’t want to marry me out of obligation to her kid, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from my family. That just wasn’t who I was. I needed to make this work.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you flip out-“
“I’m not flipping out.”
“Your right eye is twitching.”
I slapped my hand over my eye, feeling it twitch beneath my fingers. Will smirked, trying to hold in his laughter.
“You’re an asshole.”
Katherine
This was ridiculous. If I wanted to see Eric, I would go see him. There was plenty to talk about with him. We were having a baby together, after all. I paced around my townhouse some more, wondering what I was going to talk to him about once I got there. I hadn’t made any decisions on my living arrangements yet, so bringing that up would be pointless. And it’s not like we needed to talk about baby names or anything. It was way too soon for that.
I groaned in frustration, pulling at my hair. I could still feel his body pressed against mine a few days ago. I wanted to feel that again. I wanted to be close to him and see where this could go. I had rushed my opinions of him in the beginning, but now that I had seen this other side to him, I wanted to know more. The problem was, he was taking things slow and I had to respect that.
I knew that part of it was hormones. I had read through some books, and they all talked about a heightened need for sex during the first trimester. Well, I was there right now, and it wasn’t like I was going to go out and find someone else to sleep with while I was pregnant with another man’s baby. Not that I even wanted to. I was attracted to Eric
a lot more than I ever thought possible. It just took having my eyes pried open to see it. All the things that I thought I hated about him was just surface bullshit. I’m sure it would drive me crazy still, but now I could see the man underneath and he was definitely worth taking another look at.
“Screw it,” I muttered, snatching my purse off the table and heading for the door. I wanted to see him, so I was going over there. I didn’t really think things through until I was almost over to his house. I hadn’t bothered to call first. I hadn’t even sent a text message. What if he didn’t want to see me? What if this was more one-sided than I thought? Maybe that moment in his shop was all my imagination. Maybe he didn’t really feel the pull as strongly as I did. And if that was the case, I was going to make a fool out of myself by showing up at his house.
I pulled over on the side of the road and put my Jeep in park. What the hell was I doing? I could have called him or texted him over the past few days, but instead, I hid from him, afraid of what I was starting to feel for him. And now I was just going over there without calling. God, I was being stupid.
Headlights pulled up behind me and a bulky figure got out. I cursed at myself for being so stupid to pull over on the side of the road at night. I dug into my purse and grabbed the pepper spray, ready to use it if this was some psycho. The knock on the window startled me and I almost sprayed the pepper spray in my purse. I turned to the window, holding a hand to my chest. Eric’s concerned face stared back at me, instantly putting me at ease. I rolled down my window and gave him a slight smile.
“Is everything okay? Did you break down?”
“What?” Shit. How was I going to explain this away? “Uh…no, I just…thought I saw a spider.”
“So, you pulled over in the dark on the side of the road? That’s not very safe.”
“I have pepper spray.”
He nodded slightly, but I could tell he wasn’t too happy about what I was saying. “Were you coming to see me?”
I blushed in embarrassment, but he couldn’t see that in the dark. “Yeah, I just thought we should talk.”
“Alright, well, follow me to the house.”
I nodded and rolled my window back up, shaking off the chills that ran through me when I looked at him. I pulled back onto the road, but as I started following him, I realized that now I had to think up something to talk to him about, since I had just told him I had wanted to talk. Shit. Why did I get myself in situations like this?
I pulled in behind him and got out of my car. I followed him up to the house and smiled when he held the door open for me. It didn’t look like his brothers were there, so at least I didn’t have to worry about that. On the other hand, now I was alone in his house, just he and I with no one around to stop the inevitable awkwardness that was about to drop in. I should have had a plan.
“Did you eat dinner yet?”
“No.” I sat down at his kitchen table as he moved to the fridge.
“We grilled out last night. I have some leftover burgers if you want some.”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
He got to work plating up the food, taking out some sides they had and dumping them on the plates also. He slipped the first plate into the microwave and turned to me, his arms crossed over his muscled chest as he leaned against the counter.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
I blushed and ducked my head. It was best just to come clean about the whole thing. “I didn’t actually have a reason for coming out here.”
His eyes lit with surprise, but he didn’t say anything.
“I was thinking about you and I wanted to see you. And then I thought, why shouldn’t I come see you? We’re having a baby together, and we’re trying to see where this can go. So…so, I took a chance and drove out here, but then I realized that I was driving over and I hadn’t even called you to ask if it was okay.”
“So, you thought stopping on the side of the road was the way to go?”
“Well, I didn’t see the big deal at the time.”
He pushed off the counter and stalked over to me. He pressed one hand on the table and leaned on the back of my chair, putting his face right in front of mine. “If you want to come over, you don’t need to call. You can come whenever you want, for any reason you want. I can’t guarantee that I’ll always be home, but that’s the only reason you would ever have to text me first. Okay?”
The way he said it with such finality made me believe every word of what he said. It was like we were crossing another bridge in our relationship here. I nodded, my eyes flicking down to his lips. I wanted to kiss them, to know what it would feel like to be kissed hard by this man. Before I could make a move, he shifted away from me and back to the microwave. It was like he knew what I wanted and he was going to torture me until I was a quaking mess.
He pulled the plate out of the microwave and set it down in front of me, then grabbed some buns out of the cabinet, setting them on the table for me.
“Water okay?”
“Sure.”
I watched as he moved around the kitchen, remembering how he did the same thing for me the morning after our one night stand. I put together my burger and started eating as he warmed up his own food. The burger was delicious, even if it was made yesterday. I didn’t care. I hated cooking, especially after a long day at work. And the days had seemed longer than ever recently. This pregnancy was kicking my ass. Most days, I flopped into bed at the end of a shift, just showering long enough to be clean. What I really wanted was a nice, long bath.
“It can’t be that good,” Eric said as he sat down across from me.
“It’s delicious. I usually have take-out for dinner.”
“You don’t cook?” There was no judgement in his voice, just curiosity.
“I’m just too tired when I get home. Before, I was just lazy, but now that I’m pregnant, I just don’t have the energy at the end of a shift.”
He nodded, his eyes boring into me as I ate. He watched my every move, eyeing how I took a bite of the burger and how I slowly chewed. I felt like I was under the microscope, but the way his eyes smoldered, I found that I didn’t really care all that much.
“I could cook for you,” he finally said, taking a bite of his own food. “What time do you get off work?”
Startled, I didn’t know how to respond. He would cook for me? “I wasn’t suggesting that you should cook for me.”
He was about to take a bite, but paused, staring me down. “I know that. I was offering because I want to take care of you.”
“Why?” I asked before I could think better of it. “I mean, you don’t owe me anything.”
He chewed slowly, wiping his hands on a napkin. I watched as his throat worked when he swallowed. He picked up his glass and took a long drink of water before he finally answered my question.
“This has nothing to do with me owing you. I don’t keep points in my relationships. My offer is simply because we’re family now, and I want to take care of you. You’re pregnant with my child, and I want to take care of both of you. I don’t like the idea of you being so tired at the end of work that you don’t even want to make dinner. I’m usually in town until the evening. I can swing by your place and have dinner waiting for you. We can eat together or you can kick me out. Either way, it would make me feel better knowing that you aren’t doing this all on your own. But I’m not making any promises on how good it tastes,” he added with a smile.
Wow. Tears pricked my eyes at his statement. I never cried. Like, not even when I watched a really sad movie. It just never happened. The only excuse I had was that my hormones were out of control right now, and he had just said something so sweet that I couldn’t help but be touched. I blinked back the tears and cleared my throat, trying to work past the hormonal outburst that I was suddenly struck with.
“Hey,” he reached across the table, covering my small hand with his large one. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I shook my head. “It’s no
t that. It’s just…stupid hormones,” I muttered under my breath.
“So, is that a yes to dinner?”
I nodded, because I didn’t trust myself to speak right now.
“Good. You can make me a copy of your key, if you’re comfortable with that. Just send me your schedule and I’ll make sure dinner is waiting for you every night.”
“Thank you,” I croaked out.
“No problem.”
We finished eating in relative silence. I watched him as discreetly as possible as he ate, but he flat out stared at me. It made my body tingle. I had to get out of here before I jumped him. I was just about to thank him for dinner when his phone rang. His brows furrowed when he looked at the caller ID.
“Is everything okay?”
“It’s my parents,” he murmured, but didn’t take the call.
“Have you told them?”
“Not yet.”
I watched as his thumb swiped across the screen. He cleared his throat before answering. I thought maybe I should leave. It felt like this was a private conversation, but I also knew that he was worried about telling his parents, that he was worried about them being disappointed in him. It was like a bad car wreck, I just sat there and stared in horror at what was about to happen.
“Hey, Ma…yeah, I’m good. Business is good.”
His eyes flicked up to mine and then down again. He rubbed a hand across his forehead as he nodded along with the conversation and put in the appropriate yes and no’s. My heart was actually hurting for him right now. Watching him and knowing that this was going to be so hard for him was just killing me. When he first told me that he wanted me to be his pretend girlfriend and why, my immediate reaction was that he was being a pussy. But after getting to know him better, I didn’t feel that way anymore. Hell, I was nervous to tell my parents too. That’s what happens when you have parents that truly care about you. Being afraid of disappointing them is part of life.
Maintenance Required: A small town romance (The Cortell Brothers Book 1) Page 14