Even in a society where good old-fashioned magic works, the job can be done. I’ve done it myself, in Too Many Magicians and other Lord Darcy stories.
But the man who showed me how was Isaac Asimov in The Caves of Steel.
In the future, when the towns are caves of steel
Clear from Boston, Massachusetts, to Mobile,
There’s a cop, Elijah Baley, who’s the hero of this tale. He
Has a Spacer robot helper named Daneel.
For it seems that there’s some guys from Outer Space
(They’re descendants of the Terran human race),
And allover Terra’s globe, it seems they’re giving jobs to robots,
Which are hated by the people they replace.
So a certain Spacer, Sarton, gets rubbed out,
And the Chief says to Elijah: “Be a scout;
Go and find out just whodunit, and, although it won’t be fun, it
Will result in your promotion, without doubt!”
The assignment puts Elijah on the spot.
He must do the job up right; if he does not,
It not only will disgrace him, but the robot will replace him
If the robot is the first to solve the plot
In the city, there’s a riot at a store.
R. Daneel jumps on a counter, and before
Baley knows it, pulls his blaster. Then he bellows: “I’m the master
Here, so stop it, or I’ll blow you off the floor!”
So the riot’s busted up before it starts,
And Elijah’s wounded ego really smarts.
“Well,” he says, “you quelled that riot, but a robot wouldn’t try it!
Dan, I think you’ve got a screw loose in your parts!”
Baley doesn’t see how R. Daneel could draw
Out his blaster, for the First Robotic Law
Says: “No robot may, through action or inaction, harm a fraction
Of a whisker on a human being’s jaw.”
Since Daneel, the robot, has a human face,
And he looks exactly like the guy from space
Who has been assassinated, Mr. Baley’s quite elated,
For he’s positive he’s solved the murder case!
“The Commissioner ,” he says, “has been misled,
‘Cause there hasn’t been a murder! No one’s dead!
Why you did it, I don’t know, but I don’t think you are a robot!
I am certain you are Sarton, sir, instead!”
“Why, that’s rather silly, partner,” says Daneel,
“And I’m awful sorry that’s the way you feel.”
Then, by peeling back his skin, he shows Elijah that, within, he
Is constructed almost totally of steel!
Well, of course, this gives Elijah quite a shock.
So he thinks the whole thing over, taking stock
Of the clues in their relation to the total situation,
Then he goes and calls a special robot doc.
Says Elijah Baley: “Dr. Gerrigel,
This here murder case is just about to jell!
And to bust it open wide, I’ll prove this robot’s homicidal!
Look him over, doc, and see if you can tell.”
So the doctor gives Daneel a thorough test
While the robot sits there, calmly self-possessed.
After close examination, “His First Law’s in operation,”
Says the doctor, “You can set your mind at rest.”
That leaves Baley feeling somewhat like a jerk,
But Daneel is very difficult to irk;
He just says: “We can’t stand still, or we will never find the killer.
Come on, partner, let us buckle down to work.”
Now the plot begins to thicken—as it should;
It’s the thickening in plots that makes ‘em good.
The Police Chiefs robot, Sammy, gives himself the double whammy,
And the reason for it isn’t understood.
The Commissioner says: “Baley, you’re to blame!
Robot Sammy burned his brain out, and I claim
That, from every single clue, it looks as though you made him do it!”
Baley hollers: “No, I didn’t! It’s a frame!”
Then he says: “Commish, I think that you’re the heel
Who’s the nasty little villain in this deal!
And I’ll tell you to your face, I really think you killed the Spacer,
‘Cause you thought he was the robot, R. Daneel!”
The Commissioner breaks down and mumbles: “Yes—
I’m the guy who did it, Baley—I confess!”
Baley says: “I knew in time you would confess this awful crime. You
Understand, of course, you’re in an awful mess!”
The Commissioner keels over on the floor.
When he wakes up, R. Daneel says: “We’re not sore;
Since the crime was accidental, we’ll be merciful and gentle.
Go,” he says in solemn tones, “and sin no more!”
Then says Baley to the robot, with a grin: “It was nice of you to overlook his sin.
As a friend, I wouldn’t trade you! By the Asimov who made you, You’re a better man than I am, Hunka Tin!”
ALFRED BESTER’S
“THE DEMOLISHED MAN”
By Randall Garrett
This “Review in Verse” was taken from Bester’s original magazine version, which appeared in Galaxy. It differs somewhat from the book version. For instance, “the author, Mr. Bester, doesn’t specify the year” in the magazine version, whereas, in the book version, he does. Another change was his lessened use of shortcut symbols. In the original, “Tate” was spelled “T8”; in the book, it’s spelled out. Also, there’s a character in the original called “$$son.” Now, I could have sworn that was “Dollarson” and I wrote the verse accordingly. But when the book came out, it was spelled “Jackson.”
“Obscure, Alfie,” says I.
“That’s why I changed it,” says he.
At any rate, when you read it—and it must be read aloud for full effect-pronounce the symbols as though they were words. “@” is pronounced “at,” so “f@” is pronounced “fat.” The trouble is that the twelfth letter of the alphabet and the fi.gure “one” look pretty much alike in print, so, in Verse 14, when you come to the word “18,” pronounce it “late,” not “ei.ghteen.”
“*” is “asterisk,” “%” is “percent,” and “(“ is “parenthesis.”
Now you’re on your own.
In the far & distant future—you can pick the d8 2 suit your-
Self, the author, Mr. Bester, doesn’t specify the year—
There’s a fellow named Ben Reich, a rich investor who’s no piker,
Who has dreams about a Faceless Man in nightmares odd & queer.
Craye D-Courtney is his rival. Says Ben Reich: “While he’s alive, I’ll
Never rest, so I must rub him out the best way th@ I can”‘
But, according 2 report, neither Ben Reich nor old D’Courtney
Knows the other well enough 4 Ben 2 h8 the older man.
Now, despite his wealth & power, Ben Reich still does not see how ar-
Ranging old D’Courtney’s death car, be achieved with grace & ease.
If he gets in2 a mess, perception by an expert Esper
Will eventually happen, 4 these lads are thick as fleas.
But since Reich remains determined 2 extermin8 th@ vermin,d-
Rastic action must be taken 2 make sure he won’t get caught.
So he calls Augustus T8, a doctor who, we find, is r8ed
As a 1st Class Esper Medic. Reich is sure he can be bought.
“Gus, D’Courtney is a bird I rather think I’d like 2 murder,
& I’ll pay an even million if you’ll help me kill the slob!”
T8 says: “I don’t like it, still you never know—an even million?
Th@’s an awful lot of m
oney, Ben; I think I’ll take the job!”
Next he needs some brain protection from the Espers’ keen detection;
Just a song th@ he can think of so they cannot read his mind.
So he calls a gal named Duffy, who is just a bit of fluff he
Knows, who has a music shop th@ carries songs of every kind.
“Just a song with rhythm in it?” Duffy frowns & thinks a minute.
“Well, we have all kinds of songs, but if you simply must have 1
Th@ keeps running through your head, the best we have is ‘lOser, said the
10sor, 10sion, apprehension & dis¢sion have begun!’ “
Now the fireworks really start; he hears from T8 about a party
At the Beaumonts” Craye D’Courtney will be there without a doubt.
Ben Reich packs his g@ & goes there, smiles @ everyone he knows there,
& sneaks up 2 old D’Courtney’s room when all the lights are out.
Craye says: “Ben, I’m sick & feeble!” Says Ben Reich: “You can’t make me bel-
Ieve a word of all th@ guff!” & then he shoots Craye through the head.
But Ben’s planning’s al14 naught; around comes old D’Courtney’s daughter ,
& she grabs the g@ & runs off when she sees her father dead.
Now comes Powell, a detective, whose main job is 2 collect ev-
Aders of the law, who ought 2 know th@ they can not succeed.
He’s an Es% by the police 2 peep @ all the people
@ the party 2 determine who has done this dreadful deed.
His Lieu10ant, known as $$son, is hot beneath the collar.
“What’s the motive? Where’s the witness? Who’s the killer? Where’s the gun?
Ben Reich’s mind cannot be read, the best I get is: ‘10ser, said the
10sor, 10sion, apprehension & distortion have begun!’ “
“It’s a tough 1,” murmurs Powell, “& I really don’t see how I’ll
Get the evidence I need 2 take this murder case 2 court.
& I may be wrong, but still, I really think Ben Reich’s the killer.
If he is, 2 take him in will prove 2 be a bit of sport.”
Ben says: “This’ll be a b@tle, & I’m much afraid the f@’ll
Soon be in the fire unless I find the young D’Courtney dame.”
Likewise, Powell’s biggest worry is 2 get his hands on her, he
Knows he’ll really have 2 scurry, 4 Ben Reich’s goal’s just the same.
Babs D’Courtney is loc8ed by Ben Reich, but he’s 2 l8, a d-
Ame who’s known 2 all as Chooka tells friend Powell where she’s @.
Ben Reich’s chances would be gone, except th@ Babs is c@@onic,
& the 3rdo can’t make her tell where she got Ben Reich’s g@.
Powell still has 1 more chance. A Reich employee has the answer
2 a note Ben sent D’Courtney 2 conclude a business deal.
Powell’s sure th@ Ben Reich’s motive 4 the murder’s in this note, he v-
Ows 2 get it from this Hassop, even if he has 2 steal.
Then, 2 Powell’s consternation, Ben Reich goes 2 a space station
Known as Ampro, a resort with tropic jungles grown inside.
Ben goes in with Hassop. “Now I’ll have 2 find them,” mutters Powell.
“Mr. Hassop has gone in2 th@ mor* his hide!”
Since he knows th@ Ben won’t pass up this big chance 2 murder Hassop,
He & several other Pee%er Ampro 4 the search.
But when the note’s collected, it’s not what the cop expected,
& the case just falls apart, which leaves poor Powell in the lurch.
Powell mutters: ‘‘I’ll get dirty! Though Ben thinks he can’t be hurt, he
Still has dreams about a Faceless Man who wakes up screaming screams.”
Espers of the lst Class rBing start their minds 2 con¢r8ing
Ben begins 2 see the Faceless Man come stalking from his dreams!
Powell has the famed “last laugh”; he drives poor Ben completely daffy,
& they take him 2 a nuthouse, where he’s out of Powell’s hair.
Though they’ve gone and caught the villain, I’m inclined 2 think it’s still un-
Necessary 4 policemen 2 be quite so damned unfair.
There’s a part of the plot I completely forgot;
I’ll insert it down here, if you like.
Craye D’Courtney & Barbara, respectively, are
The (ter of Reich.
L. SPRAGUE DE CAMP’S
“LEST DARKNESS FALL”
By Randall Garrett
There are some books one reads over and over again, and, for me, Sprague’s Lest Darkness Fall is one of them. Like Slan, the Lensman series, the Foundation trilogy, and a handful of others, Sprague’s book is an old friend that is always showing me something new.
I first read it in John Campbell’s Unknown, a World War II casualty. I literally wore that issue of the magazine out by rereading that one story; When it finally came out in book form, years later, I was overjoyed. It had been expanded and was much richer.
It was the first history I ever read that made me realize that history could be interesting.
Thank you, Sprague.
The reader’s tossed into this tale with great impetuosity.
The hero, struck by lightning, sees a burst of luminosity!
His vision clears, and he is overcome with curiosity—
The lightning’s tossed him back in Time to ancient Gothic Rome!
At first, poor Martin Padway thinks he’s stricken with insanity,
To find himself immersed in early Roman Christianity,
But finally he buckles down to face it with urbanity;
He knows that he’s forever stuck and never will get home.
Now, Europe’s just about to start the Age of Faith and Piety,
And such an awful future fills our hero with anxiety,
So he begins to bolster up this barbarous society
With modernistic gadgets that the Romans haven’t got.
A moneylending Syrian of singular sagacity
Succumbs, in time, to Mr. P’s remarkable tenacity,
And, though he makes remarks decrying Martin’s vast audacity,
Proceeds to lend him quite a lot of money on the spot.
Now, in return, our hero starts, in manner most emphatical,
To show the banker how to solve his problems mathematical.
And one clerk gets so sore he ups and takes a leave sabbatical;
“I can’t take Arab numerals,” he says; “I’ve had my fill!”
But Mr. Padway takes the resignation with passivity.
The other men have shown a mathematical proclivity,
So, confident the system will increase their productivity,
He takes his borrowed money and goes out and buys a still.
Then, trading in on what he knows about historiography,
Our Martin Padway next invents the art of mass typography.
He hires a bunch of Roman scribes (He’s fond of their chirography),
And makes them all reporters for his paper: Roman Times.
Because of a Sicilian he fired without apology,
He gets in lots of trouble on a charge of demonology.
But, using all the very best of Freudian psychology,
He gets himself released from prosecution for the crimes.
The Roman city governor, a certain Count Honorius
(A man who is notorious for actions amatorious),
Is then convinced by Padway, in a very long, laborious,
And detailed explanation of how corporations work,
That he (the Count), in order to insure his own prosperity,
Should use his cash to back, with all expedient celerity,
A telegraphic system Padway’s building for posterity.
The Count proceeds to do so, with an avaricious smirk.
But while our hero is
engaged in projects multifarious,
An army of Imperialists under Belisarius
Invades the Goths, who find that their position is precarious,
So Padway has to help the Gothic army win the fight.
He saves the King from being killed, to win his royal gratitude,
And though our hero’s hampered by the King’s fog headed attitude,
He gets appointed Quaestor, which affords him lots of latitude.
He whips the Greek invaders in the middle of the night.
The King becomes so useless that he’s almost parasitical,
And Padway finds himself up to his neck in things political;
He has to learn to tread with care, and not be hypercritical
Of how affairs are run in the Italo-Gothic state.
The Byzantines send in another army with rapidity,
And Bloody John, the general, attacks with great avidity.
Because the Gothic nation lacks political solidity,
The Byzantines march northward at a very rapid rate.
The Greeks go up through Italy with thundering and plundering;
The Gothic troops, as always, just continue with their blundering,
While Martin Padway, at their head, is worrying and wondering
Just what the Hell he’s gonna do and where he’s gonna go!
At last he comes in contact with Joannas Sanguinarius!
(The battle’s very bloody, but de Camp makes it hilarious.)
And just as he’s about to lose, the turncoat Belisarius
Comes charging in with cavalry and quickly routs the foe.
Now, though all through the novel we’ve been jollied with jocundity,
The story’s ended on a note of very great profundity:
Takeoff! Page 26