by Anne Sexton
All best wishes,
Epilogue
Anne’s death was not unexpected. All those close to her had known that one day she would choose to commit suicide. At home in Weston on Friday, October 4, 1974, she took herself quickly and quietly.
Only the day before she had returned from a successful reading at Goucher College in Maryland, where the audience had given her an extended standing ovation. The academic year had just begun at Boston University and her students welcomed her home at the airport instead of meeting her in their weekly Thursday class. At Black Oak Road, housekeeping arrangements looked promising: a new young couple had moved into the basement apartment.
The weather that Friday was particularly invigorating—the “black” oaks and swamp maples were turning color. Anne shared lunch with Maxine Kumin in Newton, and proofread the galley sheets for The Awful Rowing Toward God with her as they had done with her previous books. She had planned an evening out with one of the men she was currently seeing. But despite these signs of renewal and strength, she returned home to her death with no dramatics, no warning, no telephone calls.
Of all those who unconsciously prepared for her death, perhaps Anne herself was the most thorough. By July 1974 she had finished putting her house in order, asking particular friends which of her possessions they would like as remembrances, and offering to write holographs of their favorite poems. She had selected a biographer and prepared the Boston University archive of her manuscripts and letters. After much thought, she had appointed her literary executor, and drawn up a will with specific instructions for her funeral. In the last few years she had repeatedly told family members and friends that she wanted a palindrome from the side of an Irish barn carved on her gravestone. The words RATS LIVE ON NO EVIL STAR gave her a peculiar kind of hope.
She was acutely aware of how her death would affect others. In a letter written in April 1969 to her daughter Linda, she attempted to comfort and to hold, anticipating the day when touch would be impossible.
Wed—2:45 P.M.
Dear Linda,
I am in the middle of a flight to St. Louis to give a reading. I was reading a New Yorker story that made me think of my mother and all alone in the seat I whispered to her “I know, Mother, I know.” (Found a pen!) And I thought of you—someday flying somewhere all alone and me dead perhaps and you wishing to speak to me.
And I want to speak back. (Linda, maybe it won’t be flying, maybe it will be at your own kitchen table drinking tea some afternoon when you are 40. Anytime.)—I want to say back.
1st I love you.
2. You never let me down.
3. I know. I was there once. I too, was 40 and with a dead mother who I needed still. […]
This is my message to the 40-year-old Linda. No matter what happens you were always my bobolink, my special Linda Gray. Life is not easy. It is awfully lonely. I know that. Now you too know it—wherever you are, Linda, talking to me. But I’ve had a good life—I wrote unhappy—but I lived to the hilt. You too, Linda—Live to the HILT! To the top. I love you, 40-year-old Linda, and I love what you do, what you find, what you are!—Be your own woman. Belong to those you love. Talk to my poems, and talk to your heart—I’m in both: if you need me. I lied, Linda. I did love my mother and she loved me. She never held me but I miss her, so that I have to deny I ever loved her—or she me! Silly Anne! So there!
XOXOXO
Mom
Image Gallery
“Anne as a baby—Sister (Blanche), hand (mother’s?),” c. 1929
Grandfather Dingley’s “Aerie,” at Squirrel Island
“Anne—on left as child in summer at Squirrel Island,” Maine
Anne (left) with fane, Arthur Gray Staples, and Blanche at Squirrel Island cottage
Anne, c. 1946–1948
With friends at Rogers Hall, c. 1945–1947
“Anne in Chicago nightclub at 17—with boy from Princeton—”
“Anne at 17 at ranch in Montana—,” 1945
Posing à la Jane Russell in The Outlaw
“Kayo (20) and Anne (19)—outside church—just before our wedding—(forgot to pack white shoes)—Kayo forgot to pack his belt—see pants—August, 1948”
Anne and Kayo at Virginia Beach on their honeymoon
On a fishing trip, c. 1951–1952
Anne’s mother, Mary Gray Harvey
Anne with her father, Ralph Churchill Harvey
Christmas 1952, with Joan, Kayo, Wilhelmine, and George Sexton. “Sexton family at Xmas 1953 (Am pregnant—a little—with Linda)”
From Anne’s modeling portfolio, c. 1949–1951
Anne returning home from hospital with her firstborn, Linda Gray, July 1953
Pregnant with Joyce Ladd, 1955
Holding Linda and Joy, 1955
Anne, Kayo, and Linda in backyard at Newton, 1955
The Sexton family, c. summer 1957
Self-portrait, oil on board, c. 1950s
Anne at Antioch workshop, with Hollis Summers and Ruth Soter, August 1958
“posing—1961 or 1962”
With James Wright, Long Island, August 1960
Skinny-dipping in backyard, Newton, summer 1962
“the Sun worshiper—1962”
“day before I left for Europe—only Kayo smiling—only his face could lie—”, August 21, 1963
“home from Europe, 1963—Halloween—”
Capri, October 1963
Anne in her new study, Weston, spring 1966
With Tillie Olsen, in the study at 40 Clearwater Road, c. spring 1964
Anne with Linda on rock in front of Weston home, c. 1966
On safari. Tanzania, East Africa, August 1966
In her study, after breaking hip, Christmas 1966
By the pool, c. summer 1967
On Maxine Kumin’s horse Xantippe, Highlawn Farm, Warner, New Hampshire, summer 1965
Reading from “Eighteen Days Without You,” Phi Beta Kappa ceremony, Sanders Theater, Harvard University, June 1968
Houghton Mifflin publication party for Love Poems: Paul Brooks, Anne, and Howard Moss, February 13, 1969
With Marian Seldes, at Sardi’s, New York City, for opening night party of Mercy Street, October 1969
Honorary Doctor of Letters, Tufts University, June 1971
Index
Accent, 34, 63
Adcock, Fleur, 318
“Addict, The,” 269
Aerie, The, 4
Africa, 299–300, 301, 366
Aiken, Conrad, 102
Albert, Sam, 58, 117–119
Alexander, Thomas, 351, 353
Algonquin Hotel, 336, 343, 346
“All My Pretty Ones,” 64, 94, 303
All My Pretty Ones, 87, 132, 137, 149, 157, 163, 165, 166, 274, 303
Alvarez, A., 273
Alfred, William, 51, 61, 383
American Academy of Arts and Letters, 157, 303
American Place Theater, 345
American Poetry Review, The, 397, 401
Ames Lois: 280, 281, 307–308, 344–345, 348, 378; and biography of Sylvia Plath, 261–262, 272, 299–300, 305–306, 307–308, 330; letters to, 261–262, 283–285, 297–298, 299–300, 305–306, 326–328, 329–330, 332–333, 336; and Mercy Street, 336–337, 344–345, 348
Amsterdam, Anne’s 1963 visit to, 193–198
Anderson, Lee, 89
Anne on Anne (a course she taught at Colgate), 376
Antioch Review, The, 33, 78
Antioch Summer Writers’ Conference, 33, 34, 35, 36, 45, 53, 63, 67, 72, 74, 77, 78, 82, 83, 96
Amherst, 120
Anne Sexton and Her Kind, 326, 332
“Assassin, The,” 332
Anti-Vietnam Read-In, 290, 292
Atlantic Monthly, The, 34, 360, 361, 377
Audience, 34, 356
Awful Rowing Toward God, The, 390, 391, 403, 415–416, 423
Axelrod, Rise, 420–421
Axelrod, Steven, 420–421
Baldwin, James, 176
“Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator, The,” 319
Baltimore, Maryland, as Anne’s home in 1951, 21
“Barefoot,” 319
“Barfly Ought to Sing, The,” 272
Barnes, Clive, 379
Baro, Gene, 167
Barth, John, 349, 384, 393
Basie, Count, 418
“Bat, The,” 410, 415
Beauty Counselor, 29
Beeler, Janet, 398
“Before This,” 331
Bellow, Saul, 102, 257
Belmont, Massachusetts, 335
Benedikt, Michael, 402
Bennett, Joe, 53, 91, 95
Berman, Morton, 376, 393
Betjeman, John, 91
Bingham, Sally, 314
“Bird, The,” 89
Bishop, Elizabeth, 94, 146, 376
“Black Art, The,” 86, 284, 294
Bly, Robert, 120, 300
Book of Folly, The, 313, 361, 363, 368, 377, 382, 384, 410
Booth, Philip, 64, 81
Boothbay Harbor, Maine, as Anne’s childhood summer home, 4
Boston, Massachusetts, 70, 73, 176, 238, 261
Boston Center for Adult Education, 29
Boston College, 120
Boston Globe, The, 355
Boston Herald, The, 146
Boston University, 38, 39, 64, 130, 273, 348, 349, 350, 354, 376, 382, 393, 396, 401
Boxer, (U.S. Navy aircraft carrier), 21
Boylan, Mrs. Eleanor, 173, 188, 217
Brandeis University, 111
Brandt, Joan, 410–411, 415–416
Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, 72, 82, 83
“Break, The,” 304
“Breast, The,” 283
“Briar Rose,” 368
Brinnin, John Malcolm, 64, 127, 309, 349
Brooks, Paul, 132, 150, 165, 325, 357, 359–360, 361–363, 372–373, 408
Browne, Michael Dennis, 333
Brown’s Hotel, 308
Brussels, 177–190
“Buffoon, The,” 374
“By Nameless Flesh,” 36–37, 52, 57
Cape Cod Community College, 351
Cambridge, Massachusetts, 4
Capri, Italy, Anne’s visits to in 1963 and 1967, 220, 227, 299–300
“Cardinal, A,” 76
Cavalier Hotel, The, 16, 17, 247
Charles Playhouse, 237, 253, 254
Charles River, 69
Chase, Dr. Constance, 314, 357–359, 400
Chatto & Windus, 384
Cheever, John, 355
Chelsea, Massachusetts, 3
Christ, Anne’s thoughts on, 45, 73, 125, 158, 253, 305, 368
Christian Science Monitor, The, 30
Christmas, 4, 49, 78, 129, 132, 149, 173, 277
Ciletti, James, 334–335
“Cinderella,” 367, 368
“Curse Against Elegies, A,” 112
Clarke, Anne, 390; letters to, 228–230, 231–232, 232–233, 234–236, 237–239, 239–242, 242–246, 248–251, 251–252, 252–253, 254–256, 258–260, 320–321, 348–349, 363–367
Clawson, Robert, 315–317, 326, 332, 408
Cochituate, Massachusetts, 21
Colgate University, 18, 21, 375–376, 382
College of William & Mary, 290
Columbia University, Trustees, 309
Compass Review, The, 30, 33
Conant, Dr. Loring, 407
Cornell, 143
Cosmopolitan, 359
“Courage,” 416
Crawshaw Chair in Literature, 375–376
Crime and Punishment, 115
“Cripples and Other Stories,” 5, 296, 326
Critical Quarterly, 327
“Crossing the Atlantic,” 156, 174
Crow, 369
Cummings, E. E., 152
Daisy (heroine of Mercy Street), 250–251, 253, 337, 347
“Dancing the Jig,” 89, 102
Davison, Peter, 146, 148, 151
“Day for Anne Frank, A,” 331
Death Notebooks, The, 361, 363, 368, 390, 392, 402, 403, 406
“December 17th,” 324
DeCordova Museum, 327, 332
Degener, Claire S., 252–253, 285–287, 317, 356–357, 360–361, 363, 410–411, 415–416
Dickinson, Emily, 263
Dickey, James, 163, 166–167, 274–275, 275–278, 282–283, 351, 353, 354, 361, 416
Didion, Joan, 366
Dietz, Dr. Samuel, 225, 240–241, 243, 244, 245, 249, 251, 259, 264, 294, 298, 305, 313, 314, 330, 332, 340
Dingley, Anna Ladd, 5, 16, 22, 41, 148, 176–177, 394
Dingley, Nelson, 3
“Division of Parts, The,” 64, 79, 80, 81
“Don’t,” 331
Dorchester, Massachusetts, 178
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, 115, 116
Duhamel, P. Albert, 146
“Double Image, The,” 28, 42, 43, 44, 46, 47–48, 63, 65, 72, 128, 168, 247, 248
Duval, Betsy, 408
Dream of Governors, A, 95
Easter, 37
Eggs of Things, 147, 151
Ehrhardt, Dr. Florence, 403–404, 409
“Eighteen Days Without You,” 324
Eliot, T. S., 262
“Elizabeth Gone,” 31, 47
Elliot, George, 91
Elliot, Mary Emma, 92
Encounter, 111
Enright, D. J., 413
Epoch, 46
Erikson, Erik, 366
Ernst, Rita E., 173, 259
Esquire, 356
Europe, 114; letters from Anne while in, 156–221, 225
“Evil,” 10
Fairfield University, 313
“Farmer’s Wife,” 36
Farrell, Brother Dennis: letters to, 124–125, 129–130, 135–138, 140–141, 141–146, 148–149, 151–154, 158–162, 171, 306
Faulkner, William, 116
“Faustus and I,” 410
Ferry, David, 64
Fiddlehead, The, 30, 33
Fifties, The, 120
“Firebombers, The,” 327
Fitts, Dudley, 104, 309
Fitzgerald, Ella, 418
“Flee on Your Donkey,” 144, 224, 295
Florence, Italy, Anne’s visit to, in 1963, 211–214
Florke, Otto and Trudel, 201
Ford, Anne, 314
Ford, Harry, 52, 61, 67
Ford Foundation Grant, 114, 195, 237, 241, 303
“For Eleanor Boylan Talking with God,” 145
“For Johnny Pole on the Forgotten Beach,” 33, 34
“For John, Who Begs Me Not to Enquire Further,” 58
“For My Lover, Returning to His Wife,” 319
For the Union Dead, 38, 302
“For the Year of the Insane,” 157, 260
“Fortress, The,” 132, 375
45 Mercy Street, 392, 403, 416
Foster, Lucy, 247
Frank, Anne, 194, 297, 323
“Freak Show, The,” 397–398
Freedgood, Anne, 34
Freedman, Ralph, 34
Freeman, Arthur, 350
Friebert, Diane, 398
Frost, Robert, 49
Frost, Robert, The Fellowship, 82
Fuller, Mrs. Willard, 146–148
“Fury of Bones, The,” 378
“Fury of Cocks, The,” 378
“Fury of Cooks, The,” 378
“Fury of Overshoes, The,” 378
“Fury of Sundays, The,” 378
“Fury of Sunsets, The,” 378
Gallagher, Anne, 375
Gardner, Isabella, 64
Galrand, School, The, 12, 13, 15
Geffen, Felicia, 226–228
Gide, André, 116
Ginsberg, Allen, 308
“Ghost, The,” 410
Gloucester, Massachusetts, 66
God, Anne’s thoughts on, 137, 142, 145, 153, 235, 256, 285, 343, 346, 366–369, 397, 398, 414–415
“Godfather Death,” 359
Goetz, Dorianne, 260
–261, 262–263, 309
“Gold,” 401
Gold, Hebert, 93
“Gold Key, The,” 350, 361
Gotham Hotel, The, 89
“Gothic Heads,” 374
Goucher College; 282, 283, 423
Grimm, Brothers, 350, 352, 362, 367, 371, 373
Guardini, 125
Guggenheim Fellowship, The, 88, 92, 95, 101, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 149, 336, 348, 399
Hall, Donald, 47, 401
Hamilton, New York, 18, 19
Hampshire College, 402
Handloss, Patricia, 390
Handman, Wynn, 337
Hankinson, Hank, 357
“Hansel and Gretel,” 350, 359, 368
Hardwick, Elizabeth, 135, 170, 171
Harper’s Magazine, 34, 67, 92, 260, 360, 361
Harris, David, 354
Hart Agency, 21
Harvard, Advocate, The, 131, 135
Harvard Literary Club, 403
Harvard University, 90, 135, 324
Harvey, Blanche (Anne’s sister), 3, 4, 5, 13, 16
Harvey, Jane (Anne’s sister), 4, 5, 13
Harvey, Mary Gray Staples (Anne’s mother), 392–393; letters to, 13–15, 16–17, 19–20, 31–33; personal history of, 3, 6, 13, 16, 45, 51, 54, 58, 64, 66, 68; and poetry, 12, 29, 30, 31–33; and The Tender Heart Club, 40–41
Harvey, Ralph Churchill (Anne’s father): death of, 81; letters to, 13, 16, 19; personal history of, 3, 5, 6, 12, 21, 31, 44, 45, 51