“E–Eira… I’m… I’m sorry… I–I didn’t mean to…”
I pulled myself to my feet and faced him. He stepped back a little as I did so. “Raikidan… come back here.”
He shook his head and stepped back again. “I almost killed you.”
I stepped closer, and he mirrored my movement by stepping back. I sighed. “Raikidan, come back here.”
“No.” He turned to leave through the window, but I rushed over to him and grabbed him by the hand. Raikidan froze for a moment and then turned to look at me. I smiled and pulled him back toward my bed. Raikidan, bewildered by my actions, complied without a fuss.
As I sat down on my bed, I scooted over to make room for him and pulled him over to me. He was reluctant at first, but after a few good tugs, he climbed onto my bed. Reclining back against my pillows, I made myself comfortable and forced Raikidan to rest his head on my lap.
“You shouldn’t be doing this,” he protested. “I almost killed you.
I hushed him. “You were having a nightmare. It wasn’t your fault if your body reacted to it. It was my fault for getting too close.”
“You were only trying to help. You didn’t need to get hurt because of me. I shouldn’t be near you.”
“Will you shut up and relax? It was an accident.”
“Yeah, an accident that could have killed you.”
“I’m alive, though, and that’s what matters. Now listen to me and relax.”
“You’re going to have bruises on your neck!”
“Raikidan, shut up.”
He sighed and lay still. I smiled when he started to relax as I stroked his head lightly with the back of my fingers. I felt bad for him. I knew he hadn’t meant to do what he had done, and I was grateful for his remorse for almost killing me, but he didn’t need to beat himself up over it.
I tilted my head as I looked at him. I wasn’t sure why I had done this. I hadn’t made a conscious choice to do so. Just like the moment when Ryoko and Rylan had tried to comfort me when I was upset. I had placed my arms protectively around them without thinking about it or questioning it. I was doing the same with Raikidan, and I honestly couldn’t find a single part of me that minded. I couldn’t find a part of me that wanted to hate him for what he had done. I only found a part of me that was starting to enjoy the situation—enjoying being this close to him.
I frowned. That was concerning. I shouldn’t be enjoying this. I shouldn’t want any of this. I sighed. But I did and I wasn’t stupid. I knew what was going on. I was beginning to care far more than I should. I knew what trouble those feelings brought, and it was why I buried them away long ago and pretended they had never existed.
Beyond that, Raikidan and I were extremely different species. This wasn’t a matter of a pairing between and elf and human or a dwarf and elf. Dragons and humans didn’t mix, and that kind of relationship would fall apart quickly. I know that all too well…
It didn’t matter how my dumb heart felt. My mind was smarter and I was going to push that all away. It was for the best.
I looked down at Raikidan when a strange noise escaped his lips. His eyes were half closed and his lips turned up into a half smile. The sound was similar to a growl, but it was also different. It almost sounded like a strange purr. The sound was so strange and new, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I wasn’t sure if it was a good sound or not, so I stopped stroking his head.
The sound stopped soon after, so I figured I had made the right choice. I watched as Raikidan eyes fluttered, as if he had been in some sort of trance, and then went back to resting at half-closed. My eyes grew heavy all of a sudden and I didn’t fight the sleep that beckoned. After this night, I needed it. I’d worry about the condition of my neck tomorrow.
Raikidan said something, but I was already far too gone to hear it beyond muffled gibberish.
Chapter 15
Isat on the edge of my bed with my feet soaking in water. It felt nice, and although a bath would have been preferable, I wasn’t going to get that thanks to Ryoko. She had managed to hop in before me, and after an hour, she still wasn’t out. I didn’t understand how her skin didn’t stay shriveled up.
I suppose it’s not a completely bad thing. Had I taken a real bath, I would have had to apply cover-up on my neck again. My throat had bruised and swelled by the time I woke up. Seda had come in unannounced, which had confused me at first since she never did that, but once she handed me the small canister of cover-up and an ice pack, it was made clear. It would figure the incident last night hadn’t escaped her eye. She had also shown me how bad the bruise looked.
Raikidan had stayed quiet while she had been in here and refused to look at either of us. I knew he was still upset with himself for what he had done, and I wished he’d stop. Seda had assured me she knew it was an accident and she had attempted to console him, but he didn’t want any of it. He had only been willing to look at me once I had finished covering up the bruise, and even then it was rare.
I was glad to cover the thing up, even though I hated makeup. I didn’t need anyone asking questions, or knowing for that matter. It was the least I could do for Raikidan.
Raikidan’s refusal to look at me ended when his curiosity about my feet soaking took over, although he had yet to ask any questions.
“All right, I’m done trying to figure it out on my own,” he finally said. “What the hell are you doing?”
I giggled. “I was starting to worry you had been replaced with a robot who couldn’t ask questions.”
Raikidan snorted. “I don’t know what a robot is, but I’m not about to ask. I just want to know what you’re doing.”
“I’m soaking my feet.”
“Why?”
“To make them feel better.”
“They hurt?”
I nodded. “A little, but it’s normal.”
“How is that normal?”
“I’ve beaten my body up. It’s been bruised, bloodied, and broken. It now hates me for what I’ve done to it and aches sometimes. I would soak my whole body in a bath, but Ryoko is using that right now.” Raikidan growled. “What?”
“How can you talk so calmly about something like that?”
I sighed. “I know it’s hard for you to understand, but you really need to, Raikidan. Fighting is a part of my life. It’s all I know.”
“I can’t! How can you humans act so careless about women?”
“Because dragons and humans are different, Raikidan. Unlike with dragons, human women aren’t respected. They aren’t treated nicely. On the food chain a dog ranks higher than me. Blaze is a good example of how a large portion of the male population of humans act toward women. Women are a piece of ass, and that makes them disposable—makes me disposable. Being a soldier makes me a tool until my use is complete, and then I’m disposable. Being both, together, makes life easier for everyone else, and nothing changes that. You learn to live with that reality.”
“Why don’t you change it?”
“How?” I shouted. “How am I supposed to change that? No one listens. No one cares! If I walked down the street with this bruise on my neck, no one would care. They would think I probably deserved it. Things are much different for us. Your kind has it easy. Your kind has mutual respect. Mine doesn’t. They hate and envy each other. They’re selfish, and I’m ashamed to be one of them.”
Raikidan leaned back against the frame of the window, trying his best to take in everything I was saying and to understand how things were so different between us. But I wasn’t done, not just yet.
“I make light of my situation because there is no changing it. What has happened in my life is unchangeable and what will happen is set in stone. My situation is ironic because I’m supposed to be weak and timid because I’m a woman. It’s ironic because I can take out entire armies on my own with t
he right motivation and no one would ever believe me. It’s ironic because I am feared for my fierceness in battle and yet get no respect as a living being. So why not be so calm about my body’s pain? Why not make a joke out of my injuries? Why wallow in self-pity when it does nothing?”
Raikidan stared at me instead of replying. Everything I told him was the raw truth, and even if he didn’t like it, it didn’t matter. His dislike wouldn’t change anything.
I went back to caring for my feet. I was in dire need of a foot massage, but because I didn’t trust anyone near my feet, my own hands would have to do.
“Here, let me help you,” he offered as he strolled over.
“I can do it myself.”
“It’s the least I could do for the massage you gave me.”
“I said I can do it myself.”
He grabbed my foot anyway. I glared at him and tried to yank it away, to no avail.
“Let go,” I ordered.
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Who said anything about hurting me?”
“Human feet are delicate compared with a dragon’s. It’d only be natural for you to not want me to touch them.”
“I don’t like anyone touching my feet.” I attempted to take my foot back again, but his grip was as firm as it had been before.
He began rubbing my feet. “I promise I won’t hurt you.”
I glared at him but didn’t say more. I wasn’t going to get my foot free, and if I struggled while he did this, I would end up getting hurt.
My gaze softened as he worked on my foot. It did feel nice, much better than if I had done it myself. I watched him as he worked—his brow furrowed with deep concentration. He really does want to do this, but why?
It didn’t make any sense. Even thinking he was trying to use it as an apology, it was a little strange. I guess it didn’t matter, though. I relaxed on my arms as I let him work. He was keeping his promise, and it did feel good.
Raikidan placed my foot down on the bed when he was finished and reached for my other one that was still in the warm water, but I pulled it away. I could tolerate him touching one foot because I had no say, but to willingly give him the other, I wasn’t fond of the idea, regardless of how nice the massage was.
“Eira…”
I sighed and gave him my foot. With a triumphant grin, he grasped my foot and worked. I sighed with content as he worked the stress out. When I decided he had done enough, I pulled my foot back suddenly, a big mistake on my part. Raikidan, unstable due to the way he was kneeling on the edge of the bed, fell on me. I froze as I stared him in the eye. Why me? Raikidan appeared shocked as well as he braced himself over me.
A loud knock at my door pulled me out of my frozen state, and I kicked Raikidan to the floor. He hit his head against the wall as the door opened and Ryoko peered around it.
She looked at Raikidan with a furrowed brow. “Are you okay?”
He rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I just tripped over Eira’s stupid bucket.”
“Maybe you should watch where you’re stepping,” I shot at him. I was so glad he had chosen to lie to Ryoko, but that didn’t mean I was going to go easy on him.
“Maybe you shouldn’t do weird things like soaking your feet,” he said.
I went to open my mouth, but Ryoko interjected. “I don’t want to be the starter of some weird quarrel, so I’m going to tell you what I came here for. Arnia is here for you, Laz, and she has a present for you.”
“Oh, goodie.” I spun my index finger in the air. “I love surprises.”
Ryoko laughed. “Don’t lie. Everyone knows you hate them.”
I slid off the bed and stepped over Raikidan. “You’re right, but I might as well see what she has for me. Hopefully, it’ll be good.”
“I hope so. She’s refusing to tell us until you come out.”
I chuckled and entered the living room. A tall woman with ivory skin, long blonde hair with red tips, and green eyes lounged on the back of the couch. She wore standard military attire and had a large backpack on the floor under her feet.
“Hey, Arnia,” I greeted.
“There you are!” she exclaimed in greeting. “I thought you ran away again.”
I laughed. “No, not this time. I figured I’d stick around a little longer.”
“You’d better not run away again,” Ryoko muttered. The two of us laughed at her.
“So what brings you here, Arnia?” I asked.
She picked the backpack up off the floor and opened it. “I brought you those files you wanted, along with a few other things.”
Ryoko squealed with delight as Arnia pulled out a handful of dog tags. “Azriel didn’t forget!”
Arnia laughed as she handed them over. “Jay was going to give them to Azriel, but since I was coming over here, he handed them off to me.”
Ryoko handed Rylan, Argus, and Zane their dog tags and realized that was all of them. “Um, where are Laz’s tags?”
Arnia pursed her lips and then rummaged through her pack until she finally found the missing tags. She handed them over to me, but I refused. “I already have a number burned into my skull. I don’t need pieces of metal also reminding me where I came from.”
Arnia looked at me sadly, as if she was some scolded child.
“They’re not that bad,” Ryoko insisted.
“I said no!”
Ryoko flinched and dropped the subject. Arnia, understanding my dislike for the tags, tossed them back in the backpack. I had a feeling she had left my tags out of the initial handful on purpose. It wasn’t a secret to anyone I hated physical reminders of my military past.
When Arnia looked up, she looked past me. “I think your friend there is a little confused.”
I looked back at Raikidan, who stood in the doorway of my room. “What’s wrong, Rai?”
“You said something about a number burning into your skull just now. You also said it at the club. What are you talking about?”
Everyone diverted their attention elsewhere in the room. This wasn’t a comfortable topic for any of us, but it wasn’t something we could avoid now.
I turned and faced Zane. “Do you mind showing him?”
“Only if you don’t call me bald,” he teased.
I laughed and nodded. “Fine, fine.”
Zane removed his bandana and turned around, revealing a vertical string of numbers. I watched as Raikidan found major interest in what he was seeing. Zane was the only one in this house comfortable with showing his numbers.
Raikidan looked at me. “Numbers?”
“Have you not seen the back of Zo’s head?” I questioned. “I know he has some hair, but it’s shaved enough where you can see his.”
“I don’t usually pay attention to him when he’s around,” he said. “So why numbers?”
“We’re given numbers and not names when we’re first designed since they don’t want to waste time naming experiments that aren’t going to make it.”
“Okay, why put numbers on your head?”
“The numbers are used to track us. It’s also a type of obedience torture where they shave our heads to show our number,” Arnia told him. “Not many experiments like their number shown. It shows that we’re only a creation. If we don’t misbehave, we get to keep our heads covered and our numbers hidden, though lately it’s been more of a tactic used on women since the men have chosen to keep their hair shorter than in the past.”
“I see,” he mused.
“Right, so what else do you have for me?” I asked Arnia.
Arnia rummaged through the bag and pulled out a folder filled with a few papers. “The papers you asked for are on the top. There are seven of them. The rest is some other stuff you’ll want to see.”
I took the fol
der and opened it. The top seven papers were of the experiments I wanted to know about. There was nothing strange about their DNA as I looked at the strange symbols scribbled everywhere—just strength enhancements. I had hoped there would be something significant about them. Sighing, I tossed them on the floor and looked at the papers that were left. My brow furrowed as I flipped through them.
“I figured you’d want to see these,” Arnia told me.
“What are you looking at, Laz?” Ryoko asked.
“Our files,” I stated. “And they’re untampered.”
“That’s impossible,” Rylan voiced. “I made sure they were tampered with.”
I handed a sheet of paper over to Ryoko and then one to Rylan. “See for yourself.”
They both looked the papers over.
“Where did these come from?” Rylan asked.
“They were in the computer system,” Arnia explained. “There were two files on you and Ryoko. The tampered ones and the untampered ones. I don’t know where the second file came from.”
“I’d like to know where you found my file,” I stated.
Ryoko’s brow rose. “Say what?”
I held up my sheet of paper. “Last I remember, we destroyed my file before we left.”
Rylan’s eyes narrowed. “Something weird is going on here. I destroyed your file and made sure Aurora did a double check. There is no way that paper should exist.”
“Well, it does, as do the rest of us in this house,” I said as I tossed papers on the floor. It wasn’t only us in the house either. Everyone who had escaped had a file.
“Am I in there?” Genesis asked.
I snorted. “Doubt it. They lost your file shortly after you were designed, remember?”
She sighed. “I guess you’re right.”
“So what are we going to do about these files?” Argus asked as we gazed upon the papers.
Snapping my hand up near my mouth in a blink of an eye, I exhaled an ember and forced it into a flame as I brought my hand down. I tossed the flame on the papers and watched them burn. No one questioned me. We’d clean the scorch mark on the floor later, and if we couldn’t get rid of it, we’d make up an excuse for its existence or cover it up with something.
Pieces Page 13