“…I fear nothing.”
Hated for the circumstances of her birth, Eira chose to walk a life of solitude. She obeyed her maker’s orders and never looked back—never feeling or regretting; for if she did, she’d be marked as flawed.
“…It’s best if I’m alone.”
Now a tortured soul with a bloody past, Eira keeps to herself and doesn’t let anyone in. But the past has a way of creeping up when you least expect it and no matter how much she runs, she can’t keep her biggest secrets hidden forever.
“…My heart will betray me.”
Fire in one hand and a blade in the other, she now fights the maker she once obeyed for forty years—a darkness gnawing at her mind, threatening to consume her. With few to turn to, she finds herself seeking help from the one man she swore she would never get close to. But in doing so, her secrets quickly unravel, and she finds herself admitting one taboo thing…
“…I’m afraid…”
Chapter 1
Dead leaves crunched under the hooves of my mount as we traveled through the dense forest. Birds chirped their late afternoon songs while a light breeze rustled the leaves in the canopy, and a brook babbled in the distance. I looked around, my violet hair threatening to get in my way due to the wind, and inhaled the petrichor odor still clinging to the air from the remnants of rainstorm earlier this morning. I had no idea where I was, but Tla’lli had assured me this black elk knew the way, so I trusted her words and this elk to bring me where I needed to go.
The elk stopped suddenly and exhaled. Looking around briefly, I slid off the giant elk’s back and walked away from him. Taking a quick look around, I turned and removed the bridle and reins from the elk’s face. Giving him a quick scratch on the nose, I stuffed the bridle and reins into a small bag sewn into the cloth saddle. The Elk huffed at me before heading back the way we had come.
Now alone, I had no real idea where I was. Tla’lli had said the elk would bring me to the edge of their territory, but that didn’t help me get back to the campsite if I was lost. Inhaling deeply, I caught the faint scent of Raikidan. Inhaling again, I was able to figure out that it was a few days old, and not far from my current location. Making sure my bag was secure on my back, I headed toward the scent.
We had traveled near here when we had been searching for the burial site, so if I headed north, I knew I’d end up at the campsite. It was weird traveling back alone, but it was for the best. The moment I had woken up, I spent little time waiting. I had eaten with my men, gave last-minute orders, and headed out, all before Raikidan had woken up. I didn’t need him or his little games around. I had important things to deal with. I had real lives on the line and real problems to deal with. Raikidan could take his boredom and waste someone else’s time.
I stopped walking when a large shadow blocked out the sun briefly. I looked up at the sky but saw nothing. Shrugging it off, I continued on until the shadow appeared again, but this time it lasted longer. I stopped walking, but didn’t look up even when the shadow left. Instead, I listened. Wing flaps. Large ones that could support the size of the shadow I saw.
When the shadow appeared for a third time, I looked up and surprised by the sight of a black dragon descending from the sky. What would a black dragon want with me?
The dragon’s head turned, revealing a red stripe running down the center of his head and back. It can’t be… Still several feet above me, the Dragon shifted into a nu-human shape. His muscles rippled under his tan skin upon impact of the ground. He ran hand quickly ran through his black and red hair before he looked at me with his piercing sapphire eyes.
“Raikidan…” I wasn’t sure what to think of him being here.
“You left without me,” he accused.
“Leave him here and be on your way,” the haunting malevolent voice in the back of my head said.
I turned on my heels and continued heading north. “I told you to go home.”
“And I told you I wasn’t going anywhere,” he said as he followed. “You don’t understand—”
I whirled around. “I don’t understand? How the hell am I supposed to understand when you don’t tell me?”
Raikidan looked down. “It’s… it’s complicated…”
I snorted. “I’m sure it is.”
“Good, don’t believe his lies.”
Raikidan grabbed me by the arm as I turned to continue on my way, and he forced me to look him in the eye. I could see it there. How complicated it was for him, but that didn’t excuse him.
“Don’t believe it. It’s an act.”
“Do you just not trust me?” I asked.
“Do you not trust me?” he shot back.
I grunted and turned to continue on. “Let’s go, then.”
“Not that way,” he objected.
My brow rose. “This is the way we came. It leads us directly back to camp.”
“I found a faster way,” he said. “Trust me.”
“Don’t trust him.”
I sighed and followed him. “You’d better not be pulling my leg. I’ll kill you while you sleep if you are.”
Raikidan chuckled. “Well then maybe I shouldn’t sleep for the next few days just in case.”
“Raikidan!” I shouted.
He laughed. “I’m kidding. Just trust me on this one, okay?”
I frowned. “Fine.”
I looked around with caution. The sun had sunk low in the sky and Raikidan stopped walking, not by choice though. We stood in front of the mouth a large cave that I wasn’t at all comfortable with. “I’d rather go a different way.”
“Scared?” he teased.
I snorted. “No. I just don’t see how a cave can have an exit.”
“It does,” he insisted. “I told you I checked it out before I came to find you. Besides, we need to get to the higher ground above—or did you forget we had to scale a cliff to get down here? It took you forever to get down. I don’t want to think about how long it will take for you to climb up it.”
“I didn’t take forever,” I muttered as I pushed past him. “I nearly free-fell the entire way down, only being able to use the cliff face every once in a while to prevent myself from dying at the base of the cliff. So, sorry I can’t sprout wings and fly, instead of taking a whole extra few seconds to jump down to reach the ground.”
Raikidan sighed and muttered to himself in his own tongue before following me. Once inside, I lit a fire in my hand and led the way. His lack of protests on me leading confused me, but it wasn’t long into the walk before we came to a fork in the tunnel and everything became clear. He knew I was going to have to follow him in the end.
“This way,” he instructed as he chose to walk down the left tunnel.
“Don’t follow,” the voice in my head said. “Don’t trust him.”
He didn’t look back to make sure I was following, unfazed by the darkness that began to surround him as he walked out of the range of my firelight. Not wanting to be left behind and get lost trying to find my way out on my own, I sighed and caught up with him. Raikidan led me through the maze of tunnels without second guessing himself. It was as if he had come through here several times, to remember the way so well.
I held the fire up high to get a better look at the small tunnel, and didn’t like the feeling I was getting from what I saw. The walls were smooth, carved from years of flooding and rainwater rushing through them. This tunnel is familiar… but why? Whatever the reason, it made me uneasy.
Raikidan looked back at me. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” I muttered.
“You don’t look fine. Don’t tell me you’re scared.”
I snorted. “As if. I’m just getting a bad feeling about this weird cave.”
Raikidan stopped walking and faced me. “You act like you’ve been here
before.”
I looked around some more. “It feels like it. I know, I know, it sounds stupid.”
“No, it doesn’t.” I looked at him, but he was already continuing on. “Sometimes we see things that remind us of events that have happened in the past, or dreams we’ve had. Maybe you have been here before. Or maybe you’re remembering tiny bits of something else that is making this place seem familiar.”
I tilted my head and looked at him funny. He continued on without me again, and at this point, if I let him out of my sight, I doubted I’d be able to get out of here on my own.
I had hoped that weird feeling would go away as we walked, but it had only gotten worse. Eventually the feeling became so bad I stopped following Raikidan again.
“Eira?” Raikidan stopped and looked back at me. I gazed around the tunnel with growing suspicion instead of responding. “C’mon.” I stared at him when he grabbed my hand. “It’s only a little farther.”
I tried to pull my arm from his. “What is a little farther?”
Raikidan smiled and pulled me forward. “You’ll see.”
“See, he’s not to be trusted.”
“Raikidan, seriously.” I tried to pull away from him again. “What are you keeping from me?”
He tightened his grip and looked at me. “Trust me.”
His gaze fuzzed up my head, and the words that came out of my mouth weren’t the ones I originally wanted to say. “All right.”
“Fool.”
Still holding my hand, he led me up the seemingly endless tunnel. I watched as the tunnel grew wider and less dark. I check my flame to make sure I wasn’t accidently putting more power into it, but found it to be same size as when I made it. We were getting close to the exit, and that sudden realization made me uneasy again.
I noticed Raikidan glance back at me, but he didn’t utter a word. The fire in my hand began to die, and I was getting too worked up about the current situation to care. Moments later it died, plunging us into partial darkness. I tripped over small rocks and my own feet with my lack of dark-cave vision. I found myself moving closer to Raikidan, until I was pressed up against him.
“We’re almost there,” Raikidan whispered.
“You said that a while ago,” I muttered.
He chuckled. “That was no more than ten minutes ago, but I do mean it. Look ahead of us.”
I did as asked and noticed a large light source. That’s when I realized I could make out his features and more of what was around me. Raikidan picked up his pace, forcing me to keep up, and pulled me into the light. I blinked violently to get my eyes to adjust better. Raikidan let go of my hand and his presence disappeared, confusing me, and then reappearing behind me, sending me into a slight panic.
“I told you not to trust him!”
“Keep your eyes open and take a look,” Raikidan whispered in my ear.
I swallowed hard but moved closer to the mouth of the cave exit and looked out. My breath caught at the sight. The sun was setting casting red and orange rays across the land and sky, and had turned the clouds pink. It was like that dream I had, but even more beautiful. And then I began to worry. That dream didn’t end well for me, and everything about this situation reminded me of that dream.
I turned to look at Raikidan to find him still hanging back where I had left him. “I thought you said this was a short cut.”
He chuckled and moved closer to me. “It is.” I watched him warily as he walked past me and leaned against the mouth of the cave. He pointed to the right of the cave. “There’s a small path right here leading up the rest of the cliff.”
“But there’s more to coming here,” I guessed.
Raikidan grinned and looked out at the landscape. “Beautiful isn’t it? I thought you’d like to see it at this time of day. I’m just glad it’s as nice as I thought it would be. You do like it, right?”
I half smiled and started to relax. “Yeah, I do.” I didn’t feel as uncomfortable now. There was something different about this situation. It wasn’t like the dream.
“Don’t be fooled.”
Raikidan continued to grin. “Good. We should stay here for the night. The sun won’t last much longer, and walking on the path in the dark wouldn’t be a good idea. This part of the cave is also drier, so it won’t be so uncomfortable to rest here.”
Before I had a chance to think this option over, Raikidan shifted to his natural state and lay down close to the cave wall, giving me plenty of room. His space made me feel even more at ease. It was as if he knew exactly what had been bothering me all this time, and knew exactly how to fix it.
Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a few large animal skins and laid them down on the ground for a soft, dry bed. Sitting down on my new bed, I reached into my pack once again and pulled out a large blanket made from bear hide. Folding it into a makeshift pillow, I lay dawn and curled my body into myself.
“Good night, Raikidan. Thank you for bringing me here. It was nice of you. And so you know, eventually you’re going to have to tell me why we’re really here.”
Raikidan grunted and I smiled a little as I closed my eyes. My eyes opened again when I sensed his presence around me all of a sudden. I propped myself up to see him curled around me. He had done this last night when I insisted on sleeping outside, much to Tla’lli’s dismay, and I didn’t understand the meaning, but I wanted to know.
“Raikidan—” I looked at him but his eyes were closed and his breath was slow as if he were already asleep.
I sighed. “Guess I won’t find out…”
I lay back down and closed my eyes. It didn’t matter. What mattered was getting sleep so I wouldn’t be tired for our journey. We had a long way to go, and I had a feeling we’d be traveling much slower than before since there was no rush.
The air was cool and the leaves on the trees around me showed the change of the seasons. The stone bench I sat on was uncomfortable but I was too busy playing with my newly-cut hair to care much. The quiet gossiping whispers of the other soldiers in the courtyard crossed my eyes. they talked about my change, but I ignored them. I didn’t care what they thought. I was already different from them as it was, so why did it matter that I showed how much I didn’t fit in with them?
Metal footsteps headed my way, but I didn’t pay them any mind. I already knew who it was, and I knew I’d be reprimanded for my actions, so there was no point in acknowledging her. I continued to pay attention to my hair, even when she sat down next to me, but I didn’t refrain from passing her a glance.
Her long, aqua hair flowed over her shoulders and her bangs hid her eyes. Her armor shone and her crystal earring sparkled in the soft autumn sun.
“The change looks nice on you,” she complimented.
I looked at her with surprise. “You mean it?”
She smiled and ran her fingers through my hair. “Of course I do.”
I looked down at the ground. “I thought you’d be disappointed in me.”
She laughed. “You’re my daughter. You could never disappoint me. It took great courage to do what you did, and for that I couldn’t be prouder.”
“Yeah, courage…” I let my gaze drift over the ground, and my hands reached for my side that still ached with pain.
“How bad is it?” my mother asked.
I sighed and pulled my hands back to my lap. “Pretty bad. The worse punishment I’ll probably ever give myself.”
“Deep?”
I nodded. “And on both sides.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry, Eira.”
I shook my head. “Don’t be. It was my choice, and not one I made lightly.”
“Well at least you don’t pity yourself.”
I snorted. “This is me we’re talking about.”
My mother laughed. “True. Oh, I have something for y
ou.”
I looked at her with confusion. She had something for me? I watched her as she rummaged through a bag tied to her belt and pulled out a plain white box. I stared at it as she handed it to me.
“Well, a gift really,” she corrected. “Sorry for the plain box. It was all I could find.”
A gift? It wasn’t every day she gave me something. In truth she rarely gave me anything, but that was because no one ever had anything to give.
Slowly, I opened the box. My eyes lit up in awe at the sight inside. “Mother, it’s beautiful.”
“You like it?” she asked.
I pulled out the hair clip and held it up to the sun. It sparked brilliantly and brought a smile to my face.
“I love it,” I looked at her. “But where did you get it?”
She half-smiled and pulled a red hair clip out of the same pouch she had pulled my gift from. “Well, in all honesty, I’ve had it for a while, but I misplaced it and only found it recently.” She smiled. “Perfect timing, really. It’s part of a matching set, from your father. He had them made for us. I didn’t like how mine looked with my long hair, so I never wore it, only carried it with me.”
My gaze on the beautiful emerald hair clip darkened, and I put it back in the box. “I don’t want it.”
My mother looked at me with surprise when I handed it back to her. “But, Eira—”
“I said I don’t want it!” I shouted. She looked at me sadly. “I don’t want anything from that liar.”
“He’s not a liar, Eira,” she insisted. “He really did care. He promised—”
“Stop it, mother!” I sighed. “When are you going to stop believing in fairytales? When are you going to see the truth? He lied for the political gain of his clan, or whatever he calls it. He never cared, and never will. I want nothing to do with that.”
My mother pushed the box back to me. “Eira, he loved me, and I loved him. That was no lie, and what he promised is no lie either. One of these days you’ll understand. You’ll see some day.”
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