by K T Rose
“You’re a good—”
Their embrace broke when Tilly tumbled onto the ground, face first.
“What are you doing out here, you little turd. Can’t you tell time?” Billy shouted.
Jessica jumped to her feet and shoved her palms into Billy’s chest. He stumbled back, lost his footing, and fell back flat in the snow.
Jessica went and stood over him. He laid there, smirking up at the cosmos. “What the fuck is your problem?” Jessica yelled.
Billy laughed. He laughed so hard that he held his belly as he turned and got to his feet.
“Answer me!” Jessica yelled.
“I’m better than you!” he blurted through laughter. “You have no business being here.”
“Stop laughing at me, you freak.”
Billy held his belly and doubled over. He held a hand up and waved her off. “You’re so funny when you’re mad. Hang on. Hang on.”
Jessica grunted hard and lunged her body into Billy’s chest, knocking them both onto the ground. She wrapped her hands around his neck and banged his laughing head into the snow. “What the fuck is your problem?” she screamed.
“You!” He came down from his high as her fingers tightened around his neck.
“I’ve never done anything to you!”
“Yes, you have! It’s not fair.” He grunted. “I’ve done everything to be with Hazel and St. Pete. You’re new…a nobody. You should be on twelve-hour guard duty and I should be in there, watching the show. I should be scouting! Not you!”
“You know what? Have at it, asshole!” she said through bared teeth. “Go ahead. They’re all yours!” She let go of his neck and stood.
He stood and brushed his army fatigue off as she panted and contemplated tearing his throat out.
He looked at her then said, “Are you saying that Father Paul made a mistake by choosing you?” He gave her a cynical smile. “That’s good to know.” He licked his lips as he flexed his shoulders. He stretched his neck.
“Hey!” Hazel charged down the steps. “There is a fucking show going on and you are out here entirely too loud.” She shot a look at Tilly. “Go home, now.” Then she looked at Billy. “You too!”
“It isn’t curfew for me yet, and I’m headed to my post,” Billy argued.
“Well get to your post then,” she growled.
He gave Jessica one last smile before jogging off for the woods.
Hazel glared at Jessica. “Make sure Tilly gets home,” she demanded before letting herself back inside the Center.
She and Tilly walked in silence, allowing the sound of the night to voice its presence.
As the boy went for the trailer door, Jessica said, “Tilly.”
He looked at her with glazed over eyes.
“You’re nothing like Billy and I. You’re better. You’re the best person here.”
“Did you mean what you said? That Billy can take your place?” He asked.
She sighed and swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
Tilly smiled at her. “Good night, Miss Olive.”
Chapter Eight
She trudged up the steps, listening to the house. No screaming or scampering. No cheering or complaining. The show must’ve been over. All there was the occasional tick and heavy tock from the wall clock at the base of the steps.
Father Paul must’ve tired himself out as no music or thumps from the very top of the house erupted, pushing through her body with the speed and subtly of an off-kilter heartbeat.
She froze at the top of the steps. All wasn’t as she’d left it, that she knew. Her door stood different from the rest, Hazel’s across the hall and St. Pete’s adjacent to hers. Jessica’s door was partially open. Closed enough to hide what was inside, open enough to let her know the light was on.
Could Father Paul be inside, waiting on an explanation? Or worse. She was already three for three today, a new high. Putting the volunteer on edge, not being helpful with Uni, and then walking out of the show. Dammit. If weakness had a name. More like if guilt had a name.
Her knees shook.
Better get it over with than have him call for me.
But the feeling of her feet pounding the steps and carrying her out into the woods spoke loudly, tried pushing her even. But Tilly’s creamy face, big smile, and sweet soul anchored her heels to the floor. Then pushed her forward. She gulped hard and pushed open the door.
She pouted. “What the hell are you doing in here?” Jessica asked, violated. Granny didn’t even go into her room when she wasn’t around. What the fuck was Hazel doing sitting on her bed with her legs casually crossed and a stray piece of chocolate in her fingers? Hazel looked up with a slanted eye.
“That’s what you’re worried about?” she asked as she stood.
Jessica stomped over and reached for the candy, but Hazel held it up. “Why do you have this?”
“I brought it from the store!” She reached again but fell short of Hazel’s length. Hazel pushed Jessica back and looked down at her with her hand still high and the candy hanging from her pinched fingers. “You and I both know that that’s bullshit, Olive. Mercury is the only one who uses this brand in her cakes and Paul’s Sunday morning pancakes. Now tell me the truth. Where did you get this?”
“What the hell are you doing in my room?”
Hazel scoffed. “That’s what you’re worried about? Not the trouble you’re in?” Hazel waved the candy in front of her. “Aside from this, there is a lot for you to explain.”
“Billy is a dick and he deserved what he got! Did you see what he did to Tilly? Of course, you didn’t. No one ever does.”
Hazel snickered. “Olive, I’ve been so patient with you, but you steadily poke at the fucking bear. This isn’t about what happened on the schoolyard.”
“Then what do you want?”
“St. Pete told me about how helpful you were today.”
“Oh okay, wow, I didn’t want to go into the fucking dungeon or throw a guy’s phone out the window. I did everything else he wanted.”
“You should’ve done everything he told you. You don’t get to fucking pick and choose here!”
“You’re acting like I blew everything!”
“You could’ve.”
“How?”
“You questioned that man’s beliefs.”
“And you dragged him to his death!”
“And you let that chick knee you in the mouth!”
“So what! You want me to apologize because my grip slipped?”
“You don’t seem to get it.”
“What is there to get? Make me understand because since I’ve been here that’s all I’ve been hearing is how much I don’t belong here! So please, make it clear to me, Hazel, because if it were up to me I—I would fucking run. I would run and run and not stop until your bullet caught me in the head. But I’m not because I know Father Paul sees something in me. He told me that he needs me here. Not you. Not St. Pete. Me!”
Hazel chuckled. “You’re too soft to be here.” She looked to the ceiling, crushing the candy in her palm. “You think it’s cool? Huh? ‘Oh, Father Paul wants me to be at his side. He wants to me be his pupil.’ You’re such a stupid child!”
“Don’t call me that! You’ve been riding my ass since I got here! What is your problem with me? Huh? I’ve done nothing to make you guys treat me like garbage!”
“If Paul knew you ran out during the show, he’d—”
“He’d do what? He’s more understanding than you people make him out to be.”
“Oh really? So you’ve only been here a few weeks and that makes you a fucking expert? Go fuck yourself, Jessica. You’ll never be a Marla. Billy’s right. It isn’t fair that you of all people get to ride with me and St. Pete. He’s far more deserving than you’ll ever be, you piece of shit.”
Teeth gritting and cheeks scorched, Jessica rushed for Hazel but before she could connect, Hazel pulled a pistol from her holster and stuck the muzzle into Jessica’s face. The cold steel pressed against he
r nose.
“How do you think Paul will feel when I tell him I had to put his rabid dog down? You think he’ll care? Pfft. He’d just go get another one.”
“You’re fucking sick,” Jessica said through jittering teeth.
“I’m sick? Or is the girl with a pistol in her face the one that’s sick? You might want to think about that. And you better watch your back because Tilly may be the only friend you have around here. After you left the show, it’s for sure that Techy doesn’t trust you. Neither does St. Pete. Or Billy. You’re racking up enemies by the day and you can’t blame anyone for that. Only yourself. Now, do I have your attention?”
Jessica said nothing. She heaved deeply, failing to pull back tears and steady her breathing.
The hammer cocked and Jessica’s muscles jerked.
“Do. I. Have. Your. Attention?”
Jessica gave a stiff nod.
“You will do what we tell you to do. I believe you when you say you don’t want to be here anymore, but if you want to live long enough to get used to this place, then you will follow that one rule of all the rules and that is to follow the rules. I hope you got this through your head because if anyone else came to talk to you, it wouldn’t be exactly like this.”
Hazel dropped the pistol to her side. “Take heed to the rules or you won’t get the chair or the public shaming. Your ass will be the feed for the piggies.”
Hazel holstered the pistol and unraveled the candy. She shoved it in her mouth and smiled. “Good night, Olive.” Hazel left and closed the door behind her.
Jessica let out a sharp sigh as she flopped down on her bed. Is that what a brush with death felt like? Hot and stiff? Unbreathing and being stuck in a wide, unending space? In that moment, everything lost its shape and color. Everything, even Hazel’s words, fell apart until they came back together in the receiver. It was only Jessica and that gun until it wasn’t around anymore.
This wasn’t going to stop. If it weren’t St. Pete threatening her, Billy stalking her, or Hazel pointing a weapon at her, then Techy and Blaze would come up the end, ready to add to the torment. It was only a matter of time. This bullying reminded Jessica a lot of what Franny put Brandy through, and Brandy dealt with it no more. But to what expense?
Jessica shook her head, looked over at the clock, and listened. She knew how to deal with them. It was all in the matter of timing. No one pushed Jessica around, not anymore at least. She stood from her bed and crept to the door. When she heard nothing from the other side, she opened it slowly and stuck her head out into the hallway. A small light spilled from underneath Hazel’s door. Jessica wondered if Hazel was going on a night walk.
***
Half past midnight, and all the crouching wore on her knees. Jessica sat behind her bedroom door in the dark, listening. Waiting. She grunted. Perhaps she had it wrong. Lost in rage and a little too much hope may’ve tricked her into believing she saw Hazel sneaking around out there the other night. Maybe she had just gotten off guard duty and was so tired and cold that she decided to dart through the field like a lunatic. Or maybe she was out looking for Tilly.
That’d be great. Getting someone into lots of trouble because Jessica lost control of the situation. No. Hazel surly would’ve mentioned Tilly being out. Right?
Jessica bit her lower lip. Come on, Hazel. Give me something. Maybe she was having a late night out with St. Pete? Jessica regurgitated in her own throat. No one could be that desperate. That man’s face looked like he’d been in a fight with a waffle maker, hiding his years of life under his years of combat.
Or maybe she was on a nature walk, only to get some air or sneak a hot chocolate over to Blaze who camped out in the tree house near the outer perimeter. Their lives were more chaotic than any normal person, which was ironic. Something as simple as your hero bringing you your favorite drink in the middle of the night was, well, warranted. Although, it was an innocent gesture, it was still against the rules.
Jessica stood and closed her door. She tiptoed for her bed and sat as she pulled her boots off and placed them next to the foot of the bed. Before she could pull her jeans off, she stopped and listened. The creaking of a door swinging open sounded in the dead hallway. Then a soft click before slow cricks and creaks passed the opposite side of her door, the last door at the end of the hall across from the steps.
Jessica went for her window, facing out into the field. Her heart leaped and a smile crossed her face. Hazel, dressed in all black, sprinted along the Center’s shadow as she looked around over either shoulder. She got down on one knee as if she were waiting for a gun to sound off and a checkered flag to whip in the high wind, giving her a go.
No time to pull on a coat, or boots for that matter, Jessica slipped through her door and down the stairs. She walked on her toes through the dark living room and dining room until she reached the kitchen. Eyes on the trailers across the way, she watched the field between the gaps. Like a jackrabbit running from a wolf, a brief blemish passed by the opening. She opened the kitchen door, slipped out on the patio, and looked around. No one out. No one awake for that matter: all lights were out. The only light came from the fresh surface of snow that bit at her skin as it settled in on her bare arms and underneath her moistening socks.
She followed a nice distance behind, using Hazel’s fresh footprints to carry her to where she’d been in the woods. Jessica stopped between the trailers and looked around. She’d be pissed if someone else had caught Hazel in the act. This was her catch and she’d be damned if anyone came along and took that away. She needed this. No one points a pistol in her face and gets away with it.
Jessica continued following the shoe prints, careful to keep an eye over her shoulder and ahead just in case Hazel felt like pulling her gun out again.
She stepped into the wooded opening. Although she was swallowed by darkness on both sides from the many, high trees, she was able to make out the narrow path, given the brightness of the high moon and the partly cleared skies. The boot prints, a lot like the ones she followed out this way, went along the tree line, and so did Jessica. She tracked them as they veered from the path and off toward Tilly’s meadow. They stopped not too far off from there.
Jessica crouched behind a tree stump and watched. There she was. It was like the moon beamed down the heaviest on that very spot, outing Hazel’s hooded head down to her army boots. She could’ve been on her way to combat. But it wasn’t the look of worry that dragged her frown or the fast movements like a person who was three steps from being in real danger. It was that oak tree she’d reached inside of and then her subtle need to duck off and away.
“Shit,” Jessica muttered as she lunged three trees over and laid her body down, burying her face in the bright foliage. Hazel sprinted right past her, following the narrow path back to the mouth of the woods. Jessica peeked up, shivering as her nose and forehead nearly froze to the ground. From her spot between a tree trunk and a boulder-sized stone, she looked up near the entrance to find Hazel looking over her shoulder as she continued jogging.
Jessica stood and brushed the snow from her knees. Slowly, she approached the tree. Its spiked bark was rotting and old. Its canopy leaned and seemed out of place at second glance. It looked like a woman, stuck in an awkward pose as obscure bumps protruded from the trunk near the canopy. The canopy was made of two thick branches that twisted and turned like arms with open palms holding snow.
Jessica reached a hand inside, hoping not to snag a trap. Her finger caressed something, plastic. She pulled it from the trunk. Elated, the first thing to cross her mind was to call Granny. Tell her she was okay. Tell the world she was alive and to get her the hell out of there. She flipped it open and gasped. The screen lit up, polishing her corner of the woods in a pale blue light. Two options popped up: Turn off and unlock. Her heart lurched. Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy. Either way, she couldn’t think of anything other than, Checkmate, bitch.
I thought contact with the outside world was a no, no. She smil
ed and tucked the phone away as she searched around. Nothing but the clamor of branches rubbing against one another. She rushed through the woods with a smile stuck on her lips. She had Hazel in the palm of her hand. No more bullying and threats. Hazel was at Jessica’s mercy now. As she neared the narrow path, she stopped and ducked behind a tree as a flashlight skittered in the short distance.
Whistling came into earshot shortly after as the crunching of snow under boots approached. Jessica put a hand over her mouth, swallowing her staggered breaths and shivering. Billy continued past Jessica, whistling a jaunty tune. “God dammit. Fuck off, deer!” he yelled. “Unless you want to be Sunday dinner or fake roadkill!” He continued deeper into the woods.
Hurry up, hurry up. Jessica begged as her toes froze over in the snow. Wiggling them to keep the blood flowing through them was becoming painful.
When Billy was out of sight and his whistling dwindled out of earshot, Jessica sprinted up the path and dashed between the two trailers across from the back of the Center. She braced herself with her back against the siding and listened.
Nothing.
She ran like hell across the walkway and up to the patio outside the kitchen at the sliding door. She let herself into the back door and slid her socks off and dried her feet on the welcome mat. The grinding didn’t go well with her frozen feet as it felt like the bottoms of them were being stabbed. She wanted to cry out but stepped with silenced grunts instead.
Her door was still ajar, just as she left it. She passed her door and went for the bathroom which was opposite St. Pete’s room. After closing and locking the door, she sat on the toilet top and waited a few minutes. No noise. No walking around. Nothing.
She opened the door and went for her bedroom and slid between the ajar opening and closed the door softly behind her.
Jessica grabbed a piece of paper from her desk and wrapped the flip phone up. She took a pencil and wrote:
To Father Paul. This is Hazel’s phone that’s been hidden in the woods.
From: Olive