Turi didn’t back down. “She has everything to do with it when your decisions to protect your mates will be affected by what happened in the past. If Courtney knows, she might listen to you instead of reacting to the orders you give. She hasn’t been raised among us and she doesn’t understand the danger. If she questions your order because she feels you’re just being an overprotective ass, she might get hurt…or worse. Is that what you want?”
“If I was more protective, Rosemarie would still be alive.” Tad released his grip on Turi’s neck and stepped back.
“Rosemarie was a strong woman, and she refused to bend to any man’s will. She wouldn’t have listened to you unless she believed it was the right thing. Even if you had known what she was planning, you would have had to sedate her to stop her.”
“What do you know, you were just a cub.”
“I know it wasn’t your fault. In the last few months with the Alaskan Tigers relying on you, you’ve begun to trust your instincts again. Now you need to stop blaming yourself. The first step to putting this behind you is telling your mates.” Turi took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You’ve always been stubborn, but now that you’re mated you need to think about the large picture. I’ll let the three of you work it out while I check the perimeter.”
Milo stepped to the side of the doorway, taking Courtney with him so Turi could get around them, before shutting the door behind them.
“Courtney, turn on your mom’s radio and find a station with white noise.”
“Why?”
“It will make it harder for anyone else to hear whatever Tad needs to get off his chest. There’s no need for Tate or Hazel to hear it.” Milo kissed her forehead before she did as he asked.
“They already know.” Sadness choked Tad’s voice. “Rosemarie…”
Chapter Eight
Tad sank down on the bed, lost in his thoughts. The day was playing out in his mind as if reliving it again, the terror, anger, and heartache tearing off the scab over the wound. It was so realistic he could smell her perfume, only to be replaced by the sickening smell of blood. Rosemarie’s blood.
After flipping on the radio by the bed, Courtney came to him, gently placing her hand over his. “Whenever you’re ready.” She was so patient and understanding. He didn’t deserve her.
He met her gaze. The fear of not being able to protect her ate at him, tearing away his confidence. No wonder fate decided she needed two mates. He had already proven once he couldn’t protect those around him. At least she’d have Milo by her side if he failed her.
Milo came to stand in front of them and leaned against the dresser. “Whatever happened, nothing is going to change our mating. We’ll need to find a way to work through it. I’ve always believed it would help to move past what’s bothering you if you talk to someone. Talk to us.”
Tad forced himself to begin. “For my family, males have always overrun the population, and females are rare. When one is born they are cherished, protected, and sheltered. It was no different for my cousin, Rosemarie. As my aunt’s third child, she was only a year younger than me, and we were close. So close that when I went through the change at fifteen, it brought on hers. Shifting early brought changes to her, and she was more irritable about being contained. She saw it as unfair that the males could do as they pleased. Being surrounded by everyone all day, I needed space at night, so I would slip out of the house after everyone was asleep and wander the island in my bear form. It was so peaceful then.” He looked up at Milo, knowing if anyone understood it would be him. Milo had also grown up surrounded by his clan, but he enjoyed his time alone. It was what provoked him to venture off on his own for a time.
“Rosemarie slipped out and followed me. There were trespassers on the island that I was sniffing out. Wanting to confront them when I located them, I stayed human. I was nearing the poachers when I realized she was there. Her scent permeated the island, as does all of the family, so I never thought twice. Through the trees, I could see them, and they were focused on her. She was unaware of the danger she was in, roaming through the woods without a care in the world. The island was supposed to be safe, she never…”
“Tad…” Courtney squeezed his hand.
He closed his eyes, taking strength from her before shaking his head. “No, if I don’t get this out now, I never will.” They remained quiet, waiting for him. “I stepped out of the woods, hoping to pull their attention from her. Instead, it only made things worse. They shot, bullets sliced through her, blood squirted through the air. She should have been able to heal the shots, but the youngest one jerked when he saw me, sending his shot too high…hitting her in the head. She was dead before she hit the ground.”
“Oh, love.” The sympathy in Courtney’s voice pained him. He didn’t deserve it, not when he was the cause of his cousin’s death.
Standing, he pulled away from her and stalked to the window. “She was killed because I wasn’t on my game. Her blood is on my hands as much as if I pulled the trigger myself.”
“You were young, alone, and there was nothing you could have done to stop them,” Milo said. “It isn’t your fault. I’m sure no one blames you.” The floor creaked under his weight as he stepped away from the dresser and neared Tad.
“I couldn’t protect Rosemarie. How am I supposed to protect my mates?” Losing either of them would be unbearable, especially if it was his fault. In that instant, he realized it wasn’t just about protecting Courtney, but also about protecting Milo.
“Tad, you’ve been in the role of protector all your life. You’ve stood for those who couldn’t do for themselves, you jumped when the Alaskan Tigers needed back up, you saved countless lives, not to mention the ones you’ve made better by just there. You’re not responsible for the actions of others.”
Courtney placed her hand on his arm, drawing his gaze from the window. “You can’t beat yourself up for it, you’re not to blame.”
“How do you know?” Tad glanced at Courtney. “You’ve just met me, and fate announces we’re destined to be together. How can you believe I’m worthy of you?”
“You can tell a lot about a person in a relatively short time. I know you’re a good person, and you wouldn’t put anyone in harm’s way if you could avoid it.” She moved enough to place her body between him and the window, wrapping her arm as much as she could around his waist.
“She’s right.” Milo joined them, placing his hand on Courtney’s back and the other on Tad’s shoulder. “I’ve known you for a few years, and time and time again you’ve proved yourself worthy. I’d cover your six in a battle any day.”
From Milo, that was high praise. He wouldn’t just follow anyone’s lead. When he was coming of age, he’d spent a few years off by himself before joining the Alaskan Tigers because he didn’t want to get into the politics of a clan. When Ty became the Alpha, Milo dedicated himself to the clan as one of the Elder guards. He was now assigned to Bethany’s protection, but occasionally assisted with Tabitha’s.
“We’re a team, we’ll protect each other.” Milo squeezed Tad’s shoulder. “Nothing’s going to happen to Courtney or any of us.”
“I hope so,” Tad whispered. Pulling them both tight against him, sorrow filled his chest making it hard to breath, as if he had already lost one of them.
Courtney wrapped her arm around Milo, completing the connection between them. “You mentioned Tate and Hazel already knew. How?”
“They were visiting the island at the time. It’s when we found out about Hazel’s ability to remove memories from humans. It’s what saved them, that and Dad.”
“If a shifter is killed in their animal form, they revert back. The poachers would have seen it happen. It can also happen when a shifter is gravely injured and can’t hold onto their beast,” Milo explained as Courtney’s confusion tingled along the lines of their bond.
“Dad is the leader of the sleuth. He forbade us from killing them.” Unable to stop himself, Tad’s embrace tightened around them
. “Rosemarie’s murderer got away without the knowledge he killed someone.”
“What would the knowledge have done? It wouldn’t have made anything better. Instead it would have put your sleuth and our kind at risk. That wouldn’t bring justice for Rosemarie. Only more death.” Milo pushed Tad to see the truth.
“Doing nothing brought no justice to Rosemarie. She deserved more from me, from everyone.”
“We’ve both seen more than our fair share of blood and death. No matter what happens it can never bring back someone who was killed. Do you really think justice is ever served?”
Milo might have had a point, though it didn’t change the guilt Tad carried when he thought of that night. Rosemarie looked up to him. He should have protected her, and in the end he failed her. Somehow he had to prove himself worthy of Courtney and Milo, even if it was the last thing he did.
“Tad.” Courtney cupped his cheek, and waited a heartbeat before continuing. “What happened to Rosemarie is awful, and I’m truly sorry, but you can’t blame yourself. From the stories you and Milo shared last night, you’ve proved yourself as honorable. Nothing we can say or do will bring back Rosemarie, nor will it take away the pain. You’ll have to move on, past what happened, without basing every decision you make on that night. No one blames you for what happened, and you shouldn’t either.”
He rubbed his face along her palm, kissing the bend of her wrist as he did so. His beast demanded the comforting touch, refusing to let him pull away from her. “You weren’t there when it happened.”
“I’ve been to Kodiak Bear’s Island and I’ve never seen it,” Milo said. “Devon, Ava, your brothers, none of them blame you.”
“Have you ever been to the island when I’m not there? Notice that Aunt Bev is around? She keeps her distance when I’m there. She blames me…damn it, Rosemarie was her only daughter. I can’t fault her for it either.” Tad wanted the conversation over. He was tired of living in that day so many years ago. “It’s my past Turi felt the need to bring to light again. There’s no need for either of you to suffer due to my mistakes.”
Milo shook his head. “Each of our pasts affects our future. We are no longer three individuals living their own lives. We’re joined together as mates, and that makes us one.” His cell rang, forcing him to take his arm away from Courtney and unclip it from his belt. “It’s Tex.” Milo stepped away to take the call.
Coming out of the memories, Tad moved them away from the window, not wanting to put Courtney in any more danger. He hugged her against him, resting his head on top of her and just breathing her in. His mate, the woman he was destined to be with, to share with Milo. Even after hearing the worst of his past, she didn’t turn from him. When she could have sought comfort in Milo’s arms, she didn’t. She embraced them both, as they both tried to get him to see the light. It was more than he deserved.
“I know you’re still angry with Turi, but he was right. I trust you and Milo. My rational side says it’s all too fast and that I shouldn’t, but the connection I feel between us is stronger than anything else. It wins out. I know you’ll both keep me safe at all costs. Don’t let bringing this up make you doubt yourself. Jeffery is dangerous. We all have to be on our toes if we’re going to make it through this alive.”
“We’re going to be fine, and this will all be behind us soon. Then we can move on with our lives together.”
He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the mixture of emotions that coursed through him. So much was going on within in, but the strongest of it all was the unending love for both his mates. When he thought of Milo, he wished he was there and longed for his touch to complete them.
* * *
The house was quiet as Milo made his way down the hall, giving Tad and Courtney privacy while he took the call from Tex. Hopefully, while he was busy with the call, she would make progress with Tad. They didn’t have the manpower for the best warrior among them to be questioning himself. In order to keep Courtney safe, Tad had to be at his best. That meant moving past what happened to Rosemarie.
“Hey, Tex, what did you find?”
“Actually, not a lot. The apartment is immaculate. I believe it’s a decoy. Connor’s searching property records for anything else in his name or that’s linked to him. I’ve spoken to the witness, and she even pointed Jeffery out from a photo line up.”
“But…” Milo pressed.
Tex remained silent for another moment before answering. “His business partner was found dead this morning. They’re looking at Jeffery for it. Without the partner flipping on him for a lighter sentence, probation, it puts the case on shakier ground even with Courtney’s testimony. His lawyers are all over the news saying the partner framed him, stole his DNA and everything. If he knocks them both off, the case is over.”
“Shit. The more blood he has on his hands, the easier the kills become.” Milo opened the curtain enough that he could look out on the grounds without giving anyone that might there a clear shot. Turi and Tate were just coming around the house, making their pass along the perimeter.
“Any sign of the weather breaking? Maybe you guys can get back to the compound,” Tex suggested.
“Not going to happen right now. We have things lined up for Taber to fly in and get us at the slightest break in the storm, but this weather is just too nasty to fly in. Too much ice mixed in with the snow, not to mention the visibility is no more than fifty feet. I won’t risk him trying to fly in these conditions. If he’s going to come after her, we’ll be ready.” His tiger itched for a fight.
Taking Avery out of his position of power over the Texas clan had reminded Milo just how much his beast enjoyed the action. It felt good to be back in the fight, protecting his clan. Since his shoulder injury, he had been out of the action, stuck on the compound grounds on home protection for too long. Now things had changed, and his beast enjoyed it. This bastard would suffer for threatening his mate. No harm would come to Courtney while he was alive.
“I’ll be in touch if I learn anything else. We’re just a call away if you need anything.”
“Thanks. Turi, Tate, and Hazel are here so we’re ready if Jeffery wants to take his shot at her.”
He ended the call and clipped his cell back on his jeans, still scanning the grounds. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Still, he had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before things weren’t so calm. The thought sent his fingers twitching along the butt of his gun.
The whole situation bothered him. There was something about Jeffery Park that didn’t make sense. He had a house that was only for show. That didn’t fit with a drug smuggler; he should have been living it up. So where was he normally? Not at the mansion that was on record, that was for sure.
Tad’s laptop sat on the table. With nothing to do other than wait for Jeffery to show himself, Milo decided to see what he could find. Connor might be the geek of the clan, but Milo had his own abilities when it came to finding information. Those years spent away from the clan left him with some very important contacts. Once he had some of the basic information, he’d make a few calls. Within a few hours, he was sure he’d know whatever Jeffery was trying to hide.
Chapter Nine
As he stood in the shadows of the porch, Tad waited while Turi did the final pass of the perimeter for the night. He had been trying to get Turi alone all evening. Instead, his brother always seemed to sidestep out of it. Not this time. It was time for them to have a few words, though what those words would be he wasn’t completely sure. Part of him wanted to scream at Turi for bringing up what happened to Rosemarie, while the other side knew without Turi’s blunder the events of the day would have stayed locked away in the dark place within him.
Turi stepped onto the porch, shaking the snow from his shoulders and hair before looking over at Tad. “What are you doing out here? I thought you’d be in there snuggling with your mates. Oh, how the older Brown brothers have fallen.” He teased.
Tad couldn’t help but smile since. The eldest two brothers were m
ated and were just as Turi described them. They couldn’t get enough of their mates. Taber and Thorben were completely at Kallie’s beck and call. Not that he had any room to talk. In just a short time, Courtney already had him wrapped around her little finger.
“Boy, one day you’ll be mated and you’ll be the same way.”
“Not me.” Turi sounded certain, as if he had a say in it. “Not going to happen, especially if Mom’s right. There’s no way Trey and I could share a woman like Taber and Thorben do. We fight over stupid shit too much. Plus, Trey is too possessive.”
The youngest set of twins were a handful, especially when they were growing up. Now that they were older, they were starting to calm down. Even with the occasional teasing, they were as close as any of them. Actually, now that Tad thought about it, Turi and Trey were closer than even Taber and Thorben.
“Once you’ve found your destined mate, nothing can stop you from claiming her, not even the idea of sharing her with Trey.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea. The poor woman who had to deal with them day in and day out deserved a medal. “About earlier…”
Turi held up his hands and cut him off. “I know you’re pissed but they deserved to know, especially Courtney. Mom always said you have to go into the mating with no secrets.”
“It wasn’t your secret to tell.”
“That might be true, but you weren’t going to do it. No one else was here who would do it. Tate and Hazel might know, but they would never say anything. Hazel might have adopted Tate and accepted some of the shifter ways, but she doesn’t understand mating. She doesn’t realize the undeniable draw to your mate, the need to be with her. So she couldn’t understand the need to be completely honest either.”
Tad ran his hand through his hair, shaking off the snow. “For someone who isn’t mated and doesn’t want to be, you sure understand the connection.”
“You said it yourself, there’s nothing like it and there’s no way to deny it. Keeping something that made you the man you are a secret will only lead to problems. Courtney might be taking this well right now, even accepting there are shifters, but you start lying, even by omission, and it’s not going to go over well.”
Two for Protection Page 6