He sighed. It appeared that the decision wasn’t wholly his after all. It very much depended on what Lowri wanted.
* * *
It was shortly after ten when Lowri excused herself and went up to her room. It had been a pleasant evening and Vincenzo had gone out of his way put her at ease. She had grown increasingly nervous as the time had approached for her and Megan to travel to the villa, but if Vincenzo continued to behave as he had done today then it appeared that she had nothing to fear.
She certainly couldn’t fault the arrangements he had made to get them there. He had taken heed of Dr Simpson’s advice to keep Megan away from anyone who might be harbouring an infection by hiring a private plane to fly them to Milan, where they’d been met by a chauffeur-driven limousine.
In a remarkably short space of time they had arrived at the villa, where his housekeeper, Maria, had been waiting to greet them. It had been a world away from the journey she had made a few weeks earlier and she couldn’t help comparing the two. It was obvious that Vincenzo had both the money and the means to make things happen. She wasn’t sure why it made her feel slightly uneasy to know that.
She pushed the thought aside as she opened her suitcase and took out a pair of pyjamas. Opening the connecting door to Megan’s room, she checked that the little girl was fast asleep before going to take a shower, frowning as she looked around. The white-painted bed with its golden coronet above supporting a drift of pale pink net was every little girl’s dream. The rest of the furniture was white too, the wardrobes and chests exquisitely painted with fairies and tiny woodland creatures. There was even a toy chest under the window stuffed full of dolls and soft toys, plus a shelf of brand-new books.
Whether Vincenzo had chosen everything himself or had asked his housekeeper to do it, she wasn’t sure. However, the fact that he had gone to so much trouble and expense to prepare the room surprised her. Surely, it was a waste of time and money if he didn’t intend to play a permanent role in Megan’s life?
The thought stayed with her while she showered and got ready for bed. Switching off the bedside lamp, she lay in the darkness and tried to work it all out but she was too tired to make sense of it. She had no real idea what Vincenzo was planning and would have to wait and see what happened. Maybe he would stay in contact with her and Megan and maybe he wouldn’t, and it was unsettling not to know what the future held in store. After all, his decision would affect them all—her, Megan and this new baby they were planning to have.
She rolled over, burying her hot face in the pillow. By tacit consent they hadn’t discussed their plans for the baby in the last few weeks. Megan had been so ill and they had concentrated on helping her to get better. However, they would need to finalise the arrangements soon and the thought made her feel all jittery inside.
Although she was aware that she and Vincenzo had grown closer during the long hours they had sat at Megan’s bedside, she still didn’t feel that she knew him all that well. He was such a contradiction, one minute cool and distant and the next warm and sympathetic. It was little wonder that it was so hard to get the measure of him. However, before they embarked on making this baby, she needed to be sure about what they were doing. Although she desperately wanted to help Megan, having another child wasn’t something to be undertaken lightly. For any reason.
Lowri took a deep breath as she finally acknowledged the truth. She wanted this baby for its own sake and not just because it could save its sister’s life. She knew that she would love it with all her heart, no matter what happened. However, before she went ahead, she needed to be sure that Vincenzo wanted it too. For the child’s sake, it was important that she was sure he wouldn’t regret it.
* * *
The sun was streaming through the windows when Lowri awoke the following morning. Reaching for the clock, she was shocked to discover that it was gone nine a.m. Scrambling out of bed, she ran to the adjoining room but there was no sign of Megan. She hurried downstairs, her heart pounding as she wondered where Megan had gone. The little girl didn’t know her way around the villa yet and the thought that she might have wandered outside filled Lowri with dread. Anything could have happened to her!
‘Buon giorno, Lowri. Come and join us. We were just about to have breakfast, weren’t we, tesoro?’
Lowri spun round, feeling relief overwhelm her when she saw Megan standing on the terrace, holding Vincenzo’s hand. Hurrying over to them, she swept her daughter up into her arms and kissed her. ‘You gave me such a fright! I didn’t know where you’d gone when I found your room was empty.’
‘Megan was thirsty so she came downstairs to get a drink,’ Vincenzo explained. He ran his hand over the child’s head, his fingers gently brushing her skull. ‘She helped me prepare breakfast, didn’t you, amore? She cut up all the fruit, in fact.’
‘I don’t let her use a knife,’ Lowri said quickly, then flushed. It sounded so petty to remonstrate with him when he had taken care of Megan while she’d been asleep.
‘No?’ He shrugged. ‘Well, she made a very good job of it. The fruit looks delicious, doesn’t it?’
He swept a hand towards the table and Lowri had to hide her smile when she saw the heap of fruit piled into the dish. Some of the peaches looked decidedly battered and the strawberries had a distinctly squashed air about them. Looking up, she laughed when she met Vincenzo’s eyes and saw the amusement they held.
‘It does indeed. Very tempting.’
‘Bene.’ He led Megan to the table and sat her down then pulled out a chair for Lowri. His fingers brushed the back of her neck as he got her settled. ‘I’ll leave you to make a start while I fetch the coffee. Maria doesn’t arrive until later so I’m afraid we have to fend for ourselves at breakfast.’
‘That’s fine,’ Lowri said swiftly, trying to contain the shiver that passed through her when she felt the warmth of his fingers seeping through the thin cotton of her pyjama top. She took a deep breath as she helped Megan spoon some fruit into her bowl. She had to stop this, had to stop being so aware of him all the time. At the end of the day she must never forget that Vincenzo wasn’t interested in her. He was only interested in helping Megan.
* * *
Vincenzo picked up the coffee pot then took a deep breath. He had to stop this, had to stop reacting every time he was near Lowri. He had touched her purely by accident yet he could feel tingles of awareness spreading through his entire body and silently cursed himself.
He had never responded this way to a woman before and it would be foolish to allow himself to do so now. He needed to decide what he intended to do without anything distracting him. His feelings for Lowri weren’t the issue. It was the effect it could have on his life if he made a commitment to her and the children that mattered. His whole existence would be affected, all the plans he had made would need to be changed. Quite frankly, he wasn’t sure if he could cope with such a major upheaval.
He took the coffee pot outside and put it on the table, doing his best to present a calm front. Normally, he had no difficulty doing so—his natural demeanour was cool and aloof. However, it was hard to be distant or aloof as Megan chattered away, excitedly pointing out all the things that captured her attention, like a bright red butterfly that landed on some flowers and the vapour trail a plane had left in the sky.
‘I haven’t seen her so animated for ages,’ Lowri said quietly, as the little girl jumped up to chase the butterfly. ‘Being here is already doing her the power of good.’
‘She needed a change of scene,’ Vincenzo replied smoothly, although his heart lifted at the thought that his plan had been so successful. It helped lessen the guilt he felt about the way he had...well, bullied Lowri into agreeing to come here. Even though he knew it had been for her own good, he still wished that he hadn’t needed to take such a hard line.
‘She did. She’s been through so much and having to go back into hospital while they sorted out that infection was the last straw.’ She shook her head. ‘I’ve never seen her lookin
g so down as she’s done these past few weeks.’
‘It’s been hard for her. And hard for you, too.’ He sighed, knowing that he had to say it even though it worried him to be so open about his feelings. ‘I only had a taste of what you’ve been through, Lowri, and I know how difficult I found it.’
‘Did you?’ she said in surprise, and he grimaced.
‘Sì. Seeing how ill Megan was wasn’t easy.’
‘I didn’t realise that,’ she said slowly, looking at him with wide hazel eyes. ‘You always seemed so...well, so together when we were at the hospital.’
‘Did I?’ He gave a small shrug, not sure if it was a relief to know that he had managed to fool her. Whilst he preferred to keep his emotions under wraps, he would hate it if she thought he didn’t care.
‘Yes. I found it really hard, if I’m honest. I don’t know why but seeing her so ill again really got to me this time.’ Her voice caught. ‘I don’t think I’d have coped half as well if you hadn’t been there, Vincenzo.’
It was his turn to look surprised. ‘Really?’
‘Uh-huh.’ She gave a slightly sheepish laugh. ‘A couple of times I nearly lost it but you were there, looking so calm and so sure that everything was going to be all right. It helped tremendously.’
‘I had no idea.’ He broke off and shook his head. ‘All I can say is that I never suspected you were so worried.’
‘Good. If you didn’t realise it then Megan didn’t either.’ She gave him a quick smile as she reached for the coffee pot. ‘I must be a better actress than I thought.’
Vincenzo smiled politely but the comment had touched a nerve. He had assumed that he had got to know Lowri rather well in the past few weeks but now he could see that he had been mistaken. Although he might know her on the surface, he didn’t really know what made her tick, did he?
It was worrying to realise that he had made assumptions that weren’t based on anything solid. If he was to work out what he intended to do, he needed to base any decisions he made on facts. He had never been comfortable dealing with emotions. Emotions skewed his judgement, made it impossible for him to be sure about what he was doing. If he allowed his emotions to influence him then he could end up making a terrible mistake.
Vincenzo decided that he needed to leave immediately. As soon as he had finished eating, he excused himself and went to fetch his briefcase. Lowri was standing in the hall when he came out of his study and he paused, struggling to control the leap his heart gave when he saw her. She was still wearing her pyjamas, pale pink cotton sprigged with tiny rosebuds.
There was nothing overtly seductive about the outfit yet he could feel the blood running hotly through his veins. It was an effort to smile coolly when what he really wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless.
‘Maria will be in before noon. She will prepare lunch for you and dinner as well. If there’s anything you need, she can get it for you too.’
‘Thank you. You’ve thought of everything, Vincenzo. I know I wasn’t exactly keen to come here when you first suggested it, but I’m sure it’s going to give Megan the boost she needs.’
‘I’m glad.’ He gave a small shrug. ‘I still feel a little guilty about the way I bullied you into falling in with my plans.’
‘Then don’t. There’s no need, really.’ She gave him a quick smile. ‘So when are you planning on coming back?’
‘I’m not sure,’ he hedged, trying not to get carried away by the thought that she might miss him. Of course she wouldn’t miss him, not when she had Megan to think about. His tone was flat when he continued but it was better than letting her guess how disappointed he felt. ‘It will take me a few days to catch up with what’s been happening in my absence, I imagine.’
‘Of course,’ she said quietly, and he hated to hear how reserved she sounded and know that it was all his fault. ‘Do you have a phone number where I can reach you?’
‘Yes, of course.’ He took out his wallet and handed her a card listing his contact number at the hospital. ‘You can get me on this. If I’m not available then leave a message with my secretary and I’ll call you back.’
‘Thank you.’ Her tone was dry; it made him wish that he had given her his mobile number but it was too late to backtrack. She smiled coolly. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be discreet. I’m sure you don’t want people knowing what we’re planning on doing.’
‘It would be best if we keep the details to ourselves,’ he agreed, trying not to let her see that her reaction had stung. He returned his wallet to his pocket, wondering why he was so sensitive all of a sudden. Normally he paid no heed to what people thought of him but he seemed unusually susceptible when it came to Lowri. He didn’t want her thinking badly of him, strangely enough.
He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with that thought too. ‘I shall call you tonight to check that you are all right.’
‘There’s no need. I’m sure we’ll be fine.’
The chill in her voice brought the colour to his cheeks and he turned away, not wanting her to witness his discomfort. ‘As you wish. Ciao!’
He strode out of the door, pausing when he heard Megan calling him. Turning, he smiled when he saw her hurtling across the hall. Dropping his briefcase onto the floor, he swung her up into his arms. ‘You must slow down, tesoro. You could slip and hurt yourself. Sì?’
‘Sì.’ Megan wrapped her arms around his neck. She stared at him with eyes that were identical to the ones he saw in the mirror each morning when he was shaving. ‘Where are you going, Vincenzo? I want to come with you.’
‘I would love you to come, amore, but it’s a long way and you would get very bored.’ He buzzed her cheek with his lips, feeling tenderness overwhelm him when her small arms tightened around his neck. His tone was gruffer than normal but it was the first time he had experienced the sheer depth of love that a father felt for his child so he could be excused for being rather emotional. ‘You stay here with Mummy and I shall come back to see you very soon.’
‘Promise?’ Megan demanded.
‘Promise.’
He put her down, his heart catching all over again when he looked up and saw the expression on Lowri’s face. That she had been moved by what she had witnessed was obvious. Without stopping to think, he went to her and dropped a kiss on her cheek, his lips lingering for the merest fraction of a second. If he allowed himself more than this token kiss he would never leave her, never be able to assess this situation, think it all through clearly and rationally.
He drew back, staring into her eyes before he turned away. Megan shouted goodbye and he responded but Lowri didn’t say a word. Vincenzo got into his car and gunned the engine then drove out of the gates. The road leading into Garda was as busy as ever, tourists and locals vying for space, but he felt none of his usual impatience. He wasn’t in a rush to get to Milan, as he normally was. Up till now work had been his raison d’être but not any more. His priorities had changed now that he was a father.
He gripped the steering-wheel as panic assailed him. It was going to be harder than he had thought to make the right decision. It wasn’t just he who would be affected but Megan too and he didn’t want to disappoint her, to let her down.
He didn’t want to let Lowri down either but how could he guarantee that it wouldn’t happen? How could he be sure that at some point in the future she wouldn’t regret contacting him?
His heart ached as he followed the signs for Milan. He knew so little about what it took to be a good father. Even if he tried his best, he could still fail. The thought of Lowri’s disappointment if he turned out like his own father was very hard to bear. It might be better if he called a halt rather than risk that happening. Oh, he had agreed to give her another baby and he would keep his promise, but after that it would be better for everyone if he faded into the background. He would make financial provision for Megan and the baby but he wouldn’t have any further contact with them. He would do his duty and that was all.
Vincenzo took a deep breath and used it to shore up the pain that flooded through him. Once this baby was born that would be it. He and Lowri would get on with their lives. Separately.
CHAPTER NINE
A WEEK PASSED and Lowri didn’t hear a word from Vincenzo apart from a brief phone call the first night. She tried to tell herself that he was busy and didn’t have the time to call, but it was hard to believe that. Surely he could spare a couple of minutes to check on Megan?
As the days passed, she found herself growing increasingly angry about the way he had seemingly abandoned them, especially when Megan kept asking when he was coming back. However, it wasn’t until the Friday morning that she decided to take matters into her own hands.
She had been monitoring her monthly cycle and she knew that in a few days it would be the optimum time for her to conceive. Although she wasn’t in a rush to sleep with Vincenzo, on a practical level the sooner they got it over and done with the better. She called the number he had given her and left a message with his secretary, asking him to phone her back. Megan was playing in the swimming pool, watched over by a doting Maria, so once she had made the call, Lowri went to relieve her.
Maria had proved to be a godsend, looking after Megan while Lowri went for a walk or visited the local shops. Her husband, Alfredo, was the gardener and he too had endless patience as Megan followed him around, asking questions. Although Alfredo spoke very little English, somehow he and Megan managed to communicate. Lowri knew that being at the villa was doing Megan a world of good but she still couldn’t shrug off her anger at Vincenzo’s behaviour. It seemed doubly unacceptable after what had happened the morning he had left for Milan.
Saving His Little Miracle (Mills & Boon Medical) Page 9