“I’ll never forgit as long as I live listening to that little gal pray for the food,” he said. “I was afeered to look over my shoulder, I was that sure I’d see God Hisself standing behind me.”
The chapel was silent for a few moments, then Reverend Howard stood again. “The Bible tells that life is but a vapor and quickly passes away. We know not when God will call us home. We can only hope to live each day to His glory and make a difference with our fellow man. I think we can all heartily agree that Amelia Campbell lived her life to the fullest. She loved her family and she loved her fellow man. I pray that each one of us can impact lives the way she did.”
He prayed briefly for God’s sustaining grace to be shown to the family and the service was concluded. As Emmie, clinging to Isaac’s arm, followed the procession to the grave, her heart was lighter than she would have dreamed possible. Someday she would also face her Savior. She could only imagine the joy Amelia was feeling at this moment. How could she mourn when she thought of her friend’s unimaginable bliss? A glance at Jake’s face showed he did not share her thoughts. Grief was etched deeply in his face as he carried his daughter through the ankle-deep snow.
The service at graveside was brief, just the traditional ashes to ashes, dust to dust eulogy. As they hurried home through the increasing wind, Emmie felt a sense of uneasiness as she followed Jake’s broad back. He seemed hard and angry. She knew he blamed God. When the minister had tried to offer words of comfort, he had turned away with a harsh, “Don’t talk to me of God’s grace and mercy. My wife is dead and my daughter is motherless.” She had never expected an attitude like that from Jake. Amelia had said he had a strong faith. But a blow like this could shake the strongest faith, Emmie thought. Best to leave it in God’s hands. He would show Jake He was still there for him.
“Emmie, would you mind coming in a moment?” Jake said as they reached his quarters. “I need to talk to you for a minute.”
“Of course,” she said and followed him inside after a quick wave at the rest of the Campbell clan. She hung her cloak on a hook in the hall and hurried to the kitchen to boil some water for tea. She was cold clear through and knew Jake had to be as well. Jake put little Gabrielle on the bed and sat at the kitchen table while Emmie rummaged through the open shelves for some teacups. He sat silently while she finished preparing the tea. She glanced over at him once or twice and felt a little intimidated by his grim look.
“Sugar?” she asked. He shook his head and took the steaming cup. She dropped sugar in her own cup and sat beside him at the table.
“You aren’t going to like what I have to say,” he said abruptly. “I need your help.”
Emmie smiled at him in relief. Was that all this was about? “You know I’ll help in any way I can,” she said. “I loved Amelia, too. I know it will be hard to take care of Gabrielle by yourself.”
“I need more than just occasional help,” Jake said. “Gabrielle needs a full-time mother. I don’t want her growing up shifted from place to place like a homeless puppy.”
Emmie’s smile faltered. “You want me to take her? Don’t you want her to live with you?”
“I wouldn’t give my daughter up for anything,” Jake said with a scowl. “She’s the only important thing in my life. I don’t want you to take her to live with you. I want you to live here with me and take care of her.”
“Jake, I would do anything I could to help, but I can’t stay here alone with you. The entire fort would talk.”
“Not if we were married. I want you to honor your promise to Amelia.”
The words hammered into her brain and Emmie sat back as though from a blow. Honor her promise? She couldn’t marry Jake! She was going to marry Isaac. Kind, loving Isaac who was waiting for her at Sarah’s. She shook her head. “You can’t be serious. You know I’m going to marry Isaac.”
“You made a promise. Amelia expects you to keep it. I expect you to keep it. I know you are a woman of your word and Gabrielle needs a mother. You needn’t worry about me bothering you or expecting anything else from you except to take care of my daughter. I’ll never love another woman like I loved Amelia. You’ll take care of Gabrielle, fix my meals, and take care of the house. That’s all. You and the baby can have the bedroom. I’ll sleep on the cot in the parlor.”
He stared at her fiercely as he said the words. The stern look on his face seemed to dare her to contradict his demand. Emmie swallowed hard. What should she do? Didn’t he know how unreasonable his demand was? Did he really expect her to give up her life and future with the man she loved to be an unloved nursemaid and housekeeper? You made a promise, a voice inside her head whispered. A Christian honors her word.
Jake stood up abruptly. “I know this is a shock, so I’m going to leave you and run over to talk to the colonel for a little while. You think it over. I know you’ll do the right thing.”
The right thing? This was supposed to be the right thing? Emmie stared at his back as he strode out the door. How could he ask such a thing of her? What should she do?
A timid knock at the door broke into her confused thoughts. “Come in,” she called. She was relieved to see Morning Song slip inside and close the door gently.
“I have come to feed baby,” Morning Song said.
“Gabrielle is still asleep,” Emmie told her. “Would you like some tea while we wait for her to wake up?”
Morning Song nodded. “Tea sound good. Winter wind very bad.” She looked into Emmie’s eyes. “My friend is not happy. This place is sad for you.”
Emmie nodded. “Yes, but that’s not the only problem. I don’t know what to do about Jake.” She stood and put the kettle on the woodstove, then sat down and clenched her hands in her lap. “I made a promise to Amelia. One that I never thought I would have to keep.”
“Promise very important. My father say if a brave cannot keep his word in the camp, do not trust him in battle with the enemy.”
“But what if keeping the promise will ruin the person’s life?” Emmie’s eyes were full of unshed tears as she gazed pleadingly at Morning Song.
“Sometimes promise is hard, but man’s word is how man is measured. Promise should never be made without thought. Remember what minister say today? About keeping oath even when it hurts?”
“I made the promise without thinking,” Emmie admitted. “But it was only to ease Amelia’s agitation. I never expected to have to keep it.” The kettle began to whistle and she went to the stove and poured the boiling water into the teapot and brought it to the table.
Morning Song watched her prepare the tea for a moment. “What is promise?” she asked. She touched Emmie’s hand softly. “God will help you keep it.”
“Several weeks ago Amelia was distressed and convinced she wouldn’t live through childbirth. She knew I was also expecting a child and was alone. So she asked me and Jake to marry so I could care for her baby and Jake. Then me and my baby would be provided for as well. Now Jake expects me to honor that promise.” A strange look Emmie couldn’t identify darkened Morning Song’s features, then was gone as she listened to Emmie. Was it anger? Dismay?
Morning Song nodded slowly. “Your friend care for you even when she is afraid. I see her thoughts.” Morning Song took a sip of tea, then set it down carefully. “You must honor your promise. A vow is most important when most hard.”
Emmie sighed. “What about Isaac? I made a promise to him, too.”
“Promise to Amelia come first, is that not right?”
She nodded. “But I love Isaac. I’ve been so happy these past few days, happier than I’ve ever been!”
“I see this happiness. But there is still this promise you make.”
The baby whimpered in the bedroom and both women looked up. Morning Song rose to her feet. “You must pray to God to show you the choice you must make. Then you must be strong enough to follow His command.” Leaving Emmie with her thoughts, she turned and went into the bedroom.
Everyone expected her to be strong, but she was
n’t! How could she turn her back on her love for Isaac? Emmie rose and took her cloak from the hook by the stove. She would talk to Sarah and Rand. They would know what to do. “I’m going now,” she called to Morning Song. She didn’t wait for an answer but hurried out into the driving wind.
The wind took her breath away, and she had to battle to stay on her feet across the parade ground. Her bonnet lifted from her head for a moment before she yanked it down and tied it firmly in place. Drifts of snow were beginning to pile up against the steps as she hurried onto the porch.
Sarah was curled up with a quilt and a magazine on the cot by the fire. She looked up as Emmie came into the parlor. “Your face is so red! You shouldn’t be out in this wind. Come join me under this quilt.”
Emmie threw off her cloak and hung it by the fireplace, then dove under the quilt. Even with the fire going full blast, the heat couldn’t keep up with the wind, and the room was chilly. Her teeth chattered as she nestled close to Sarah.
“You are frozen,” Sarah scolded as she wrapped the quilt tightly around Emmie. “Where have you been? I expected you back long ago.”
“Jake wanted to talk to me.”
“All this time? What did he want?”
Emmie drew her legs up under the quilt and leaned against the wall behind her. “How important do you think a promise is?”
“Very important. That’s why I try not to make any promises. I don’t want to break my word. Papa was always very careful before he gave his word to someone. He said a man is only as good as his word. Why? Did Jake want you to promise him something?”
“I made a promise to Amelia before she died. It didn’t seem important at the time, just a way of setting her mind at ease. She thought she was going to die.”
“She never told me that! When was this?” Sarah asked.
“Several weeks ago when she wasn’t feeling well. She asked me to give her my word that if anything happened to her I would marry Jake and take care of him and the baby.”
Sarah sat up straight. “Jake would never go for that! He would never let someone else make such an important decision for him. Not even Amelia.”
“He agreed before she ever asked me. And now he wants me to keep that promise.”
Sarah was silenced for a moment. “I have to admit I’m shocked. But that was before you and Isaac were engaged. Amelia would never expect you to keep a promise like that now.”
“I’ve been thinking about it, and I think she would. When she heard about my engagement after Gabrielle was born, she said it was a good thing she made it through the birth all right so I wouldn’t have to keep my promise to her. And Jake expects me to honor it now. He wants me to marry him and take care of Gabrielle.” She smiled a crooked smile, though she was near tears. “He says the baby and I can sleep in the bedroom and he’ll sleep on the cot. I wouldn’t have to worry about any demands from him. Just take care of Gabrielle, cook, and clean.”
“That’s abominable! Does he just expect you to give up a full life with Isaac to become some kind of glorified nanny?” Sarah’s voice rose in her agitation.
Emmie sighed again. “I know. I’ve been telling myself the same things for the past two hours. But I keep coming back to the fact that I promised Amelia. Doesn’t God expect us to keep our word?”
Sarah wilted. “Yes,” she admitted in a small voice. Then she brightened. “But you are free from the promise if Jake will release you.”
“He won’t,” Emmie said with finality. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell Isaac.”
The front door burst open as Rand and Isaac came in stomping snow from their boots. Rand slammed the door shut against the wind. He glanced from Sarah to Emmie, then bent to kiss his wife. “I’m cold clear down to my socks,” he said. “Any stew left?”
“It’s on the stove. I’ll get it.” Sarah scrambled from beneath the quilt and started toward the kitchen. “Uh, why don’t you help me get it ready, Rand?” she said with a sidelong look at Emmie.
Rand looked surprised, but he followed her into the kitchen.
Isaac grinned. “Looks like Sarah wanted to leave us alone,” he said as he sat beside Emmie on the cot. “She must have thought we wanted to do some spoonin’.” He slipped an arm around her and pulled her close.
Emmie sighed and nestled in the crook of his arm. She turned her face up to him and he bent his head. As his lips found hers, Emmie closed her eyes and kissed him back with all the love in her heart. This might be the last time she felt his arms around her. She smelled the clean, crisp cold on his jacket mingled with the good scent of horse and hay. This moment would have to last the rest of her life. This one moment she could know how it felt to be embraced by a man who really loved her, one she loved with her whole being.
Isaac’s arms tightened at her ardent response. He grinned as he drew back moments later. “Are you sure we can’t get married sooner?” he asked.
Emmie swallowed hard and began to tremble. How could she tell him?
Isaac noticed her darkened look. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
Emmie clenched her hands in her lap and silently prayed for strength. She knew she couldn’t throw away everything she had ever wanted in her own strength. “I must tell you something and I don’t know how,” she began.
Isaac frowned. “If it’s about how that no good Monroe committed bigamy, don’t bother. Jessica gave me some perverted version of it, but I knew it wasn’t true. Rand had already told me about it.”
Emmie was glad to delay the awful news for a moment. “Rand told you? When?”
“This morning after Jessica’s little bombshell. I knew she was lying, of course, but Rand told me how Monroe had deceived you.” He clenched his fists. “If he weren’t already dead, I’d make sure he paid for his treachery.”
Emmie smiled slightly at his fierce tone, then sighed again. “That’s not what I have to tell you,” she said softly. “It’s much worse.”
“Just say it,” Isaac prompted. “I love you and nothing will change that.”
“I love you, too. That’s what makes this so hard.” Emmie looked into his dear blue eyes and her own filled with tears at the blow she must give him. “I made a promise to Amelia, one I never expected to have to keep.”
Isaac smiled in relief. “I would be glad to take her baby and love her. But I doubt that Jake would allow it.”
“That’s only part of it,” Emmie said. “Just let me finish. Amelia thought she wouldn’t survive childbirth several weeks ago. This was before you and I were engaged, before I would admit even to myself how much I loved you. She asked me to give her my word that if something happened to her I would take care of the baby and marry Jake.”
The only sound for a moment was the crackling of the fire and the banging of pots in the kitchen. Isaac just stared at her as all the color drained from his face. “You promised to marry Jake?”
Emmie nodded. “And he intends to hold me to my promise.” She took Isaac’s hand in a desperate grip. “But I love you! What should I do?” In her heart she knew what she must do, but she prayed that he could find some way out for them both.
Isaac was silent and pain darkened his face, then he pulled his hand away and stood up. “You must honor your promise to Amelia,” he said. “Only Jake could release you from it.” He pulled on his greatcoat and went out the door without another word.
As soon as the door slammed shut, Rand strode into the room. “I don’t know what that brother of mine has in his head, but I intend to have a talk with him,” he said. “He can’t ruin both your lives like this. I know he’s grieving, but he just isn’t thinking clearly. Don’t lose hope until I can get to him.” He patted Emmie’s hand as the tears slipped down her cheeks. “Why don’t the three of us spend some time with our Heavenly Father about this matter. We can trust Him to work things out for the best.”
The three of them knelt by the cot. Emmie let her tears flow unchecked while she listened to Rand’s deep voice as he prayed for guidance and
God’s intervention. As they rose several minutes later, she felt strong enough to do whatever the Lord deemed right. If she had to honor her promise, she felt sure the Lord would care for her even in the midst of a loveless marriage. There could be joy in serving Jake. She had always liked and respected him. She’d even envied Amelia and Sarah because of the fine husbands they had. At least there would be peace in doing God’s will.
“We’ll let God talk to Jake first,” Rand said. “Then I’ll see what he has to say. You get some rest. Things will look different tomorrow.”
twelve
Isaac’s thoughts were in turmoil as he strode across the windswept parade ground. His first inclination was to find Jake and shake some sense into him, but he didn’t want to do anything rash. Jake wasn’t thinking past his grief. “I need to pray,” Isaac muttered to himself. “I need a quiet place to turn this over to God.”
The small chapel at the other end of the parade ground beckoned, and he wrapped his greatcoat around him tightly and bent into the wind. The chapel was dark and cold as he shoved the door closed against the push of the gale. He lit a lantern by the door and carried it with him to the kneeling bench at the front of the chapel. As he sank to his knees on the cold wooden floorboards, he felt a sense of relief that he could turn it all over to the Lord.
His heart felt bruised and broken, and he didn’t try to hide his pain from God. “Help me to understand this and deal with it if it truly is Your will, Lord,” he prayed. “And be with Emmie. I know she feels the pain as I do. Help us both to follow You no matter what the consequences are.” He stayed on his knees a few minutes longer, then rose and blew out the lantern. He would leave it in God’s hands. He’d always told God that he wouldn’t marry against His will. If it meant he wouldn’t marry at all, so be it. He closed the door gently behind him and headed toward the officers’ quarters. If the opportunity arose, maybe God would give him the right words to say to reach Jake. He knew his friend was hurting or he wouldn’t be doing this thing. Tomorrow was a new day and God was in control.
Plains of Promise (Wyoming Series Book 2) Page 13