by Bobbi Smith
“I didn’t think the captain made any mistakes,” she responded lightly, trying to cover the depth of her interest.
“Not usually, but this time…”
“What do you mean?”
Ollie settled back on his bunk and fixed Murphy with a serious look. “This engagement of his…I just don’t feel good about it.”
“Why?”
“I wish I knew why. If I did, then maybe I could explain it to Jimmy,” Ollie said, confused by his own thoughts on the matter.
“Don’t you like Annabelle Morgan?”
“Never met her,” he replied shortly. “But I don’t think she’s the woman for Jimmy.”
“How come? I saw him on the levee with her when we tied up and they looked plenty happy to me….” Her voice was tinged with a bitterness she couldn’t hide.
“But did you notice how tense he got these last few days before we docked?”
“He did seem extra grouchy, but I thought he was just tired.”
“No, the captain doesn’t snap like that when he’s tired. I know him pretty well, and the only time he gets in that kind of mood is when there’s something bothering him.”
“Well, he certainly was feeling no pain when he got back from seeing her last night,” Delight said, finding it hard not to show her feelings.
“You thought he was with her all last night?” Ollie looked at Murphy in surprise as the cabin boy nodded in response. “He met me at Harry’s Bar about eleven o’clock. He only spent about an hour with her.”
Now it was Delight’s turn to be surprised. “Why didn’t he spend the whole evening with her?”
“He wanted to, from what I can figure out, but she told him she had to get to bed early so she could be fresh and well rested for the party tonight.” Ollie obviously thought the excuse sounded flimsy.
“That doesn’t sound right. It seems to me if you love somebody, you’d want to be with them all you could. Especially if they’ve been gone for almost two weeks,” Delight said.
Ollie gave her a helpless look. “I thought the same thing, but there he was at Harry’s. We drank together for a couple of hours, but, you know, he never said a word.”
“He didn’t even talk to you? You’re his closest friend, aren’t you?”
“Jimmy hasn’t been much of a talker for quite a while now. There was a time when he told me just about everything, but ever since he fell in love with Renee all those years ago…”
“Renee?” Delight blurted out in shock.
“You know Renee?”
“His brother’s wife, right?” she added, covering her mistake. “I met her that day I had to deliver the papers to Marshall for him.”
“Oh, that’s right. Anyway, a long time ago, when Renee first came to town, Jimmy fell in love with her. She only had eyes for Marshall, though. It was kind of rough for him, because he’d never had any woman trouble before that. Why, that boy used to have women all up and down the river just waiting for him….”
“And he doesn’t anymore?”
“Nope. Not since Renee. That’s why I just don’t feel good about this Annabelle. I’d almost swear on a stack of Bibles that he doesn’t love her.”
“Why would he get engaged, then?”
“His family’s been after him for years to settle down, and I think it just dawned on him that it’s about that time. He’s successful at what he does, he doesn’t have a worry in the world where money is concerned….”
“But to marry without love…it seems so cold.”
“That it is. And that’s why I’m worried.”
“Did you try to talk to him about it?”
“Oh, sure. Right after he first told me of his plans.”
“And did he say he loved her?”
“He said he did, but I’ve seen Jimmy in love, and I know how he acts when he is. He doesn’t love Annabelle Morgan…not in the way he should,” Ollie concluded.
Delight thought on that for a long, silent moment before murmuring. “He’ll ruin his whole life if he marries without love.”
“He obviously doesn’t think so.” Ollie refilled both their glasses and Delight drank the whiskey straight down without a flinch. Ollie smiled to himself as he thought of the head the boy was going to have on him in the morning….
Delight sank deep into thought. “I don’t want to see the captain unhappy, but if this is what he really wants to do, I guess there’s nothing we can do or say.”
“That’s the problem. He deserves better. But he thinks because she’s beautiful he’ll be happy with her.”
“I have heard it said that she’s lovely,” Delight remarked, and Ollie caught her on it.
“Where did you hear that?” he asked sharply.
“Oh, just one of the hands…” she covered her second lapse. She took a nervous drink from her glass and wondered idly why she hadn’t noticed before what a smooth drink it was.
“Maybe that will be enough. I know he doesn’t believe that he’ll ever care for another woman the way he did for Renee, so maybe he is settling for second best.”
Delight pondered Ollie’s conclusions. If that was true, it was so sad…Jim should have every good thing life had to offer. He was a kind and generous man. He needed someone who would care for him deeply…someone who would love him for the man he was…like she did.
“Do you think she loves him?” Her final question was important. If Annabelle did love Jim, then maybe she could be the woman for him. If her love was strong, maybe she could make him fall in love with her in time.
“Murphy, I just don’t know. But I hope so.”
Delight nodded slightly. She hoped so, too. She wanted “her captain” to be happy…even, she thought sadly, if it took another woman. But she couldn’t help but believe that she loved him more….
They let the subject drop, for there was nothing else they could say. They both knew that they cared about Jim and they only wanted what was best for him.
The Morgan house was ablaze with lights and the festivities were in full swing. Annabelle stood with Jim, greeting their late-arriving guests and flashing the diamond and ruby engagement ring he had given her. When the last of the people had disappeared into the ballroom, she turned to Jim and smiled seductively at him.
“Thank you for my ring. It’s lovely.” She felt very bold and daring tonight as she ran a hand up the lapel of his jacket. Jim Westlake was such an attractive man…she was beginning to enjoy being his fiancée.
“I’m glad you like it. It suits your beauty.”
Her lashes fluttered and she leaned against him. “I missed you dreadfully while you were gone on your trip.”
Jim would have liked to believe it, but her behavior last night had given him pause. Having finished his work earlier than he’d anticipated, he had dropped by the Morgan house. Annabelle had seemed a little put off by his appearance, and they had had no opportunity to be alone together, for Nathan had stayed with them the entire time.
What Jim didn’t know was that Wade MacIntosh had been there, too, hiding behind closed doors until Jim left. Anna-belle had been furious, but there had been little she could do except to get rid of Jim as quickly as possible.
“I missed you, too,” he told her, sliding his hand down her back to her waist and pulling her toward him.
Just as he was bending to kiss her lips, her father came into the hallway and she was forced to move away from him. Annabelle had been anticipating his kiss and she was more than a little disappointed at her father’s untimely arrival.
“There you two are,” Nathan said jovially. “Come on in. The music is about to begin and we’d like you to lead off the first waltz.”
“After you, my dear.” Jim gave her a little bow and she swept ahead of him, throwing him a tantalizing, promising look as she went. She was looking forward to resuming their embrace.
They walked to the center of the dance floor, and, as the first chords of music lilted through the air, he took her in his arms and held her tig
htly against him. Annabelle was a bit startled by his ardor, but decided to relax and enjoy it. It was her engagement party, and Jim was her fiancé.
Moving with him about the floor in easy rhythm, she appreciated Jim’s finesse as a dancer. He was strong yet graceful for a man his size, and she felt as if she was floating on air as he squired her about the room. Maybe this engagement wasn’t going to be such a sacrifice for the Cause, after all.
Annabelle looked up at him and her eyes met his in a heated exchange. Wanting only to encourage his devotion, she let her hand slide up his shoulder until she could caress the back of his neck in a seemingly innocent way. Annabelle felt his immediate response and her lips lifted in a confident smile. She was going to succeed in her quest. Of that she had no doubt.
Delight made her blurry way back to Jim’s cabin. Not bothering to lock the door, she weaved through the room and threw herself on his bed. The scent of him filled her head and she allowed herself the luxury of a good cry.
Things seemed so unfair…and after tonight what was she going to do? Could she go on indefinitely playing the boy, while loving him as a woman? Her mind demanded that she do just that, but her heart cried out, “No!”
Logic would have told her, had she been logical, that she should stay with him as long as she could. She was safe here and protected. But her emotions, given free rein by the copious amount of whiskey she’d consumed, demanded that she do something…to let him go without ever having loved him now seemed unthinkable. And once he was married, he would be lost to her forever….
Raising her head, she looked around the cabin with heartrending sadness. This was his home…the ship…the river. If she gave in to the impulse to love him she would no longer be a part of his life. But if she held back, the day was going to come when she would have to be gone from him anyway. She was well aware that her disguise couldn’t last forever.
There was no real choice for her to make. Her liquor-laden mind had already chosen the path she would take…the path that would give her a night of love to remember, no matter what the rest of her life held in store….
Chapter Twelve
Jim walked slowly up the gangplank. He had forsaken his usual scotch tonight, and the champagne he’d consumed in unending celebration of his upcoming nuptials had wreaked havoc on his senses. He grinned to himself as he recognized the symptoms…he was drunk.
Instead of continuing directly on to his cabin, he wandered across the deserted main deck, absorbing the feel of the vessel he loved so much. Staring out over the cold, rushing black waters, he leaned heavily against an upright and closed his eyes. Where was his feeling of peace? Where was his inner contentment? It had been so long since he’d felt good about life….
Trying to shake off the malaise that threatened, he realized that he was a very lucky man. He was rich. He was successful. And he was engaged to a beautiful woman.
Jim frowned. Annabelle was a paradox. One moment she would be openly seductive, then, when he followed through on her encouragements, she would back off. He’d understood such tactics before he’d proposed, but why now? The wedding date was set for March, and she was secure in his life…so why deny themselves the opportunity to know each other more intimately?
Drawing a deep, cutting breath of the frigid night air, he turned away from the fast-flowing river and the shadowed outline of the dark landscape and headed up the companion-way to his cabin. He had spent too much time thinking tonight. It was time to relax.
Jim fumbled noisily with the lock on his cabin door, and was amazed to find that the door hadn’t been secured. Damn Murphy, anyway…he’d have to remember to get on him in the morning. Just because they were home didn’t mean you could let things go. But at least the youth had left a lamp burning.
Moving noisily into the room, he shut and locked the door behind him and then began throwing off his clothes. The greatcoat, his jacket, and his cravat all landed in a wrinkled heap on the floor. With one purpose in mind, he sat down at his desk and pulled out his bottle of scotch. Not bothering with a glass, he tilted it to his lips and drank deeply of the fiery liquid.
Kicking off his shoes, he leaned back in the chair. Comfortable at last, he had the urge to talk…to try to understand what it was he was feeling, but there was no one around he felt he could confide in. Murphy was too young, and Ollie…well, Ollie knew too much already; although, he would never admit it to him. It would have felt good to talk to Marshall, but by now he was home, in bed with Renee. Jim remembered all the times they’d confided in one another during their youth, and he missed that camaraderie. He had allowed himself to become too much of a solitary man, and he vowed this night not to shut himself off from his family anymore.
Taking another swig from the bottle, he set it on the desk and made his unsteady way to his bed. Shrugging out of the rest of his clothes, he stretched out on the bunk and was soon fast asleep.
Delight sat huddled nervously on her bed, waiting. Jim had returned earlier than she’d expected, and she wasn’t ready yet. Listening quietly, she traced his movements about the cabin. It wasn’t until she heard the creak of his bed that she relaxed again. She had been afraid that Jim might come into her room and find her so open and so vulnerable….
Minutes dragged by as she sat in limbo, pondering the decisions of her heart. She loved him…she wanted him…and soon he would be married to another woman. Her situation was hopeless. There could be no happy ending for her. There could only be this one night of bliss.
Delight had no intention of being there in the morning, though. She knew that after she had shared her love with Jim she would have to flee into the darkness. Even befuddled by drink, she’d realized that much. But it was worth any sacrifice to her to know him as a man just this one time. And regardless of what the future held in store for her, she knew she would never regret it.
Slipping from her bed, she silently opened their adjoining door and peeked out. Her gaze was drawn magnetically to the bunk where he lay. Delight knew by the sound of his regular, steady breathing that Jim was sound asleep. Emboldened by that knowledge, she ventured forth, the long flannel nightshirt she wore trailing the floor behind her.
The burning lamp cast a weak, flickering light in the room as she came to stand by his bed. His features seemed hardened by the shadowy lamplight and Delight almost panicked when he stirred, afraid for a moment that he wouldn’t want her…that he would reject her. She knew then that her only hope was darkness. She had to come to him under the cover of the night, to love him anonymously, to give her greatest gift in secret devotion before fleeing his life forever.
A serenity enveloped Delight as she turned out the lamp. It seemed so right. She needed to be with him, to be held in his strong arms, to be a part of him. Swept up in her desire to love him, she stepped free of Jim’s nightshirt and approached him.
Delight wasn’t aware that she appeared as a wraithlike vision as she moved about the cabin. And Jim thought he was dreaming when he opened his eyes and saw the ivory-bodied goddess of the night coming toward him. Held captive by his intoxicated state, he lay still, letting his gaze roam over the silent, graceful woman who seemed to be floating as she drew nearer. Her face and hair were hidden in the shadowy darkness of the room, but her alabaster flesh gleamed with a purity that stole his breath.
“Who are you?” he managed to croak, the thrill of this midnight illusion making coherent thought impossible.
Delight was scared…she hadn’t expected him to waken…not yet. Her lack of experience frightened her, but she decided to brazen it out. She wanted to be with him…she had to be with him. Driven on by a need as old as time, she drew no closer, but played on the fringes of his mind.
“I’ve come to love you, my captain,” she whispered, her voice as soft and feminine as a gentle breeze.
Jim didn’t move for he was afraid that his beauty would vanish if he tried to touch her. Sure that the combination of champagne and scotch had conjured up this heavenly dream of a woman, he
made a note to drink them together more often. A crooked smile touched his lips.
Delight saw the smile and fear clutched at her heart. Had he recognized her?
“Then love me, my beauty.” He spoke to her gently, slowly extending a hand in her direction.
Delight needed no further encouragement. He wanted her…he wasn’t rejecting her. She put her hand in his big warm one and felt herself pulled gently but with steady strength toward him. Glad she had extinguished the lamp, she surrendered herself to Jim’s embrace.
“Are you real?” he murmured in profound confusion as he drew his dream lover down upon the bed with the utmost care.
How could this be happening to him? Had he been sober he would have bolted from the bed and demanded an explanation from this beautiful young woman who was giving herself to him. But the liquor had dulled his rationality; he was caught up in the sensuousness of the moment and he wanted only to enjoy every second of his dream.
The blackness of the night surrounded them as their bodies touched intimately for the first time, and her hands clutched at him, holding him tightly, never wanting to let him go.
“Relax, beauty,” he told his illusion. “I’m here, and we have all night.”
A sob caught in her throat. Just this one night…that was all they had…and it was more perfect than she’d ever thought possible.
His mouth descended to hers slowly, sensuously opening her lips to him and drawing her life from her in a devastating kiss unlike anything she’d ever dreamed. The boldness of his tongue as he tasted hers sent a thrill of desire through her that eclipsed all of her previous imaginings. It was perfect, this blending of male and female, and she reveled in the discovery.
“What pleases you, beauty?” he asked between short, breathless kisses. Never before had a kiss stirred him so deeply…so sensuously. He felt moved from the depths of his soul, and he longed for the ultimate union with her slim, cool body.
“Your touch pleases me, my captain,” Delight responded without thought. “As I hope the gift of my love pleases you.”