Paige wasn’t entirely sure of the answer to that question herself. “Does it matter?”
“It might—if you slept with Zach to establish a personal relationship with him in order to strengthen your connection to Emma,” her cousin said.
Paige was stunned by the suggestion. “Do you really think I’m that calculating?”
“I think you’re that desperate to hold on to a child you love as if she was your own,” Ashley said gently.
While Paige had to acknowledge the point, she could confidently assure her cousin, “I promise you, Ash, I wasn’t thinking about Emma while I was getting naked with Zach.”
“I’d say that’s a very good sign,” her cousin said approvingly.
Paige hung up with Ashley and called the lab. When she got Walter Neville’s voice mail again, she let out a sigh that was partly relief and partly frustration, then left another message.
Over the past few days she’d gotten in the habit of taking walks when she needed to clear her head or organize her thoughts. Most of the time she walked in the vineyard. There was just something about the dirt beneath her feet, the sun on her cheeks and rows upon rows of grapes all around her that usually made her feel at peace.
Emma seemed to like walking among the grapes, too, and she loved playing peekaboo in the vines, though she’d also developed a fascination for the tiny clusters of baby grapes. Paige had quickly learned to keep a close eye on her to ensure she didn’t try to pull them off of the vines.
But no matter how far or how long she walked after Walter had finally returned her call, the feeling of peace that she sought eluded her today. Instead there was only turmoil—in her heart as much as in her head.
If she’d learned nothing else about the Crawfords over the past week, she’d learned that family was important to them. And Emma was family. There was no doubt about that anymore.
She and Emma had been getting along just fine before Zach walked into their lives. Paige had been confident that she could give the little girl everything she needed, that she could ensure she was happy, well-adjusted and loved. But she couldn’t give her the kind of family that was Zach’s.
She wasn’t naive enough to believe that the Crawfords were perfect. She knew that no family was. But she also knew that they were the type of family who stood together and supported one another, and she wanted that for Emma, even if she would never be part of it.
Paige’s hasty escape from his bedroom earlier that morning proved to Zach that nothing had changed for her just because they’d been intimate. For Zach, everything had changed. From the moment he’d learned of Emma’s existence, he’d known that he wanted to be a father to his daughter. Now he knew that he wanted Paige to be part of their family, too.
The example his parents had provided for him and his sisters had made him unwilling to settle for anything less than what they had. Not that he’d consciously been looking for a life partner. And he certainly hadn’t expected to get tangled up with Paige Wilder. But when he woke up with her in his arms, he knew that he’d done just that.
The obstacle that faced him now was convincing Paige that they were meant to be together. Forever.
As his mother had noted on their first day in California, Paige kept her feelings carefully hidden. And while he’d managed to anticipate and respond to her wants and needs in the darkness of the night, he was at a complete loss again in the light of day. But what he lacked in the way of a plan, he hoped to compensate for with perseverance.
Stepping outside, he saw Paige with Emma in the vineyard, and he made his way over to them. The child spotted him first, and she tilted her head back to look up at him, her smile as bright as her eyes.
He wouldn’t have thought it was possible to love so much so fast, but Emma had proven otherwise.
“Da!” she said and held out her arms, a signal that she wanted to be picked up.
He noted the dirt that was spread not just on her palms but halfway up to her elbows and liberally streaked across her shirt, but he scooped her up anyway. It was only after he’d tucked her little body close to his chest that he registered what she’d said.
Usually she called him “Ack” but this time she’d clearly called him “Da.” He looked over at Paige. “Did she just say—”
His throat was suddenly tight, preventing him from finishing the question.
But she nodded in response, and though she tried to smile, he noticed that her beautiful deep brown eyes glistened with tears.
“You heard from the lab?”
She nodded again. “I just spoke to Walter Neville. The results confirm that you are definitely Emma’s father.”
Emma, who loved looking at books and had listened to enough stories to garner a basic understanding of what a daddy was, clapped her hands happily to discover that she had one. “Da! Da!”
“That’s right,” he said. “I’m your daddy.”
“Ma!” Emma said and looked questioningly at Paige.
Was it possible that she’d somehow made the leap from “Daddy” to “Mommy” and believed that having one entitled her to the other? Or was she just echoing the two words that she’d often heard together? Paige knew it was more likely the latter, but that didn’t ease the ache in her chest.
She shook her head, swallowed around the lump in her throat. “No, honey. Your mama’s gone,” she reminded the little girl gently. “But you have a dada now.”
“Da!” Emma said again.
Zach knew his smile was at least as wide as his daughter’s, but when he glanced at Paige, it wasn’t joy but heartbreak that he saw etched clearly on her face.
Over the past few weeks he’d come to believe that Paige had accepted what the test would prove. He realized now it wasn’t the results that worried her so much as the repercussions.
And although Zach’s heart was still overflowing with joy, as he watched Paige make her way back toward the house, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret that his happiness had caused her sadness.
The past two days had been a roller coaster of emotions for both of them. He’d barely had a chance to catch his breath between the highs and the lows, and he imagined it was the same for Paige. He just wished there was a way that they could work through everything together, share the joys and the disappointments.
And then he realized that there was—and that the solution was actually very simple.
In the space of a few months, Paige’s life had been turned completely upside down, but even more so in the past few weeks. And although she couldn’t deny there was a part of her that wished Zach Crawford had never shown up at her door, she knew there could be no going back now. She had to accept the cards that fate had dealt her, play out the hand and move on.
The best way to do that, she figured, would be to go back to Syracuse and her job at Wainwright, Witmer & Wynne and bury herself in work until her memories of Zach and the pain of losing Emma finally eased—if they ever did. And the sooner she went home, the sooner the healing could begin.
She was packing her suitcase when Zach walked in.
Her fingers clutched the blouse she’d carefully folded, her white-knuckled grip showing no mercy for the delicate fabric.
She’d known this confrontation was coming, but she still wasn’t prepared for it. She didn’t want his platitudes or his pity.
But what Zach said was, “I think we should get married.”
Paige stared at him for a long moment, waiting for him to explain. Because the words, straightforward though they seemed, didn’t make any sense to her.
But Zach didn’t say anything else. He just stood there, waiting for a response, and she finally said, “Is this about last night?”
“It’s not about last night.” He smiled. “Or not entirely about last night.”
“Because it’s the twenty-first century,” she reminded him. “And no one expects you to marry a woman just because you’ve had sex with her.”
“I’m aware of that,” he said drily. “In fa
ct, I’ve had sex with plenty of other women before you came along without proposing to them.”
“So why me?” she asked him.
“Because it occurred to me that getting married would settle the issue of Emma’s custody without having to battle over it in court.”
So his impromptu proposal wasn’t really about their relationship at all—it was about Emma. And while the realization shouldn’t have surprised her, she couldn’t deny that she was a little disappointed.
She chided herself for the irrational and emotional response. Of course he was thinking of Emma. Everything they’d both said and done to this point had been about the little girl.
Everything except last night.
She pushed the thought aside. “Have you talked to your lawyer about this?”
“No. Why?”
She hesitated, but knew that she had to be honest with him. “Because the truth is, there probably wouldn’t be a battle. With the DNA test confirming that you’re her father, you have cause to overturn the court order granted to me.”
She’d known that from the beginning—it was precisely why she’d continued to deny that he was Emma’s father for so long. Because conceding his relationship to the child would have hastened what she’d finally accepted was inevitable, and she’d just wanted to hold on to Emma a little longer.
As if he’d read her thoughts, Zach said, “I don’t want to take Emma away from you, Paige.”
She blinked away the tears that stung her eyes. “And I appreciate that, but marriage…” She shook her head.
“What is it that you’re opposed to—marriage in general or marrying me?”
“I’ve never really thought about getting married,” she admitted.
“You haven’t dreamed of your wedding day since you were a young girl?”
“Maybe I dreamed of it when I was a kid,” she said, but thinking back, she honestly couldn’t remember indulging in any kind of happily-ever-after fantasies. “But as I got older, the whole falling-in-love thing never held much appeal for me.”
“You’ve never been in love?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Any long-term relationships?”
She shook her head again.
“None?” he said, real surprise in his voice.
“Why does that seem so unbelievable?” she demanded.
“Because you’re a beautiful, passionate woman.”
The intensity of his gaze told her that he believed the words he’d spoken, and he almost made her believe them, too.
She’d never cared if anyone thought of her as beautiful or passionate, and she’d never felt as beautiful and as passionate as she did when she was with him. But she pushed the memories and the yearning aside.
“I’m a family-law attorney,” she reminded him. “Maybe I’ve just seen too many marriages go bad to believe in happily ever after.”
“Or maybe your parents screwed up your perception of marriage.”
“Maybe. The only thing I really remember about their marriage is the fighting. I was seven when my mom left, and I was relieved, because I knew that I wouldn’t have to listen to them yelling anymore.”
She hadn’t realized until weeks later that the silence could be so much worse.
“Where’s your mom now?” Zach asked.
“I have no idea,” she admitted. “I don’t even know if she’s dead or alive.”
He touched a hand to her cheek—a gesture of comfort that was somehow more arousing than soothing. “I’m sorry, Paige.”
“I didn’t tell you so you’d feel sorry for me.” She moved away, because she needed a clear head to continue this conversation, and Zach’s nearness never failed to cloud her mind. “I just wanted you to understand why I haven’t been looking for some idealized, romantic notion of love.”
“Does that mean you’ll consider my proposal?”
She sighed. “The thing is, if I had thought about getting married, I certainly wouldn’t have thought about marrying someone with a career in the military.”
“I’m not asking you to follow me around the country,” he told her.
She turned back. “You’re not?”
“No. If it was what you wanted—if you were planning to marry me because you were desperately in love with me and couldn’t bear for us to be apart—” his tone was self-deprecating “—then I wouldn’t object. But I understand why you want Emma to have a real home and a stable environment.”
“So we would be married, but Emma and I would still live in Syracuse?” She looked to him for confirmation.
He nodded. “Or Pinehurst, or wherever you decided was best for your career and for her.”
“It seems as if you’ve given this a fair amount of thought.” She couldn’t keep a note of sarcasm from creeping into her voice.
“I’m sure there are a lot of details I haven’t considered,” he admitted, “but the most important thing seemed to be to ensure that Emma will always be with someone who loves her.”
“I can’t believe I’m even having this conversation,” she said. “It’s crazy and impulsive and—”
“We could make it work, Paige,” he said, sounding as if he really believed it.
“How do you know?” she challenged.
“Because we’ve been living together for a few weeks and managed to tolerate one another fairly well.”
“A few weeks is a far cry from ‘till death do us part,’” she pointed out.
“And because we generate some pretty impressive sexual chemistry together that will undoubtedly help smooth over the rough spots,” he continued.
“People don’t get married just because they have great sex,” she countered, although she found herself thinking that there might be fewer divorces if they did.
“And because we both want what’s best for Emma.”
She sighed, unable to dispute that one. But she still couldn’t help but wonder what he would get out of the arrangement he was proposing.
“I just don’t understand why you would choose to marry me. You have to know that I would keep Emma with me for no reason other than that you’d asked.”
“Being my wife and Emma’s stepmother will help ensure that she stays with you if anything happens to me.”
She didn’t want to consider the possibility that something might happen to him, that Emma could lose her father as abruptly and tragically as she’d lost her mother. But his casual comment reminded her of the inherent risks in his occupation and reinforced her determination to do what was best for Emma.
“And besides that,” he said. “I want to get married.”
“You do?”
He nodded. “I’m not committed to bachelorhood. I just never met a woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Because whenever I thought about getting married, I thought about what my parents have—that deep and abiding forever kind of love.”
“You were lucky to be given that kind of example,” she told him.
“I know. And I didn’t want to settle for anything less.”
“And yet you’re willing to marry me.” She was still skeptical, still wary and surprisingly tempted.
His only response was a half smile. “So what do you say?”
She’d have to be crazy to accept.
She’d have to be crazier to refuse when he was offering her everything she wanted. To keep Emma. To be part of a family. To be with Zach.
Because after spending last night with him, she knew that she did want to be with him. That one night wasn’t nearly enough.
She took a deep breath, blew it out. “I guess I say—when’s the wedding?”
Chapter Eleven
Neither of Zach’s parents batted an eye when he confirmed that he was Emma’s father nor when he informed them that he and Paige were planning to get married. In fact, his mom’s immediate response was to comment on the opportune timing of the announcement.
Apparently one of the reception halls in the winery had been booked for a
surprise fiftieth-anniversary party, but the children who’d planned the event had been the ones surprised when they learned that their parents had flown off to a Caribbean island to celebrate the occasion in private. Which meant, Kathleen explained to Zach and Paige, that the room was available, the flowers already ordered and the caterers arranged. All they needed was a minister.
When Zach protested that they didn’t want to make a big fuss over the occasion, his mother managed to look both furious and so incredibly wounded that he immediately excused himself to call Reverend Lamont, the minister who had officiated at all family events dating back to his baptism thirty-seven years earlier.
Confident that her son was taking care of that detail, Kathleen turned her attention to her future daughter-in-law.
“I don’t imagine you packed a wedding dress,” she said.
The bride-to-be, still reeling from her impulsive acceptance of Zach’s proposal, hadn’t had a chance to catch her breath, never mind think about what she would wear for the wedding.
“No,” she acknowledged. “But I don’t need anything fancy.”
“I’m not suggesting that you need a cathedral-length train or a hoop skirt, but a bride—even one getting married on only a few days’ notice—deserves a new dress for her wedding.”
Then, before Paige could even begin to formulate a response to that, Kathleen said, “Let me do this for you, Paige. Please.” And there was no way she could refuse.
Of course, she hadn’t anticipated that Zach’s mother’s seemingly innocuous request to go shopping would turn into a capital-e Event. But when Paige met Kathleen in the kitchen the next morning, Lauryn and Jocelyn and Hayden were there, too.
“Wednesday mornings are my day off,” Lauryn said.
“I woke up with a sore throat,” Jocelyn explained, with a conspiratorial wink that belied her words.
“I’m playing hooky,” Hayden said unapologetically.
So the five women piled into Jocelyn’s Expedition and headed into town.
It was an ambush, and Paige realized she should have expected it. Because although Zach’s mother and sisters had seemed to not only accept his decision to marry but also be thrilled about it, they were obviously just waiting for an opportunity to get Paige alone to demand to know what was really going on.
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