by Dianna Love
His arm muscles got tighter and tighter as he breathed faster.
She watched his face in fascination, thrilled at the power she held in her hand.
He grabbed her arm and held it still and spoke through clamped teeth.
She was breathing hard herself, excited watching him. “What?”
“I want to feel you all around me.”
“Yes, okay,” she told him enthusiastically. Shimmying her pants down and out of the way, she pushed him over and freed Monty. Then she went up on her knees and positioned herself above him.
He said, “Wait, you’re not ready.”
“Yes. Much ready.”
“Damn, that is so hot.”
She laughed softly and lowered herself onto him, then lost her smile at the feel of Justin. With all the control in her hands, she took her time lifting up to almost slide him out of her. His chest rumbled with a growl that would make her laugh again if not for how she tortured herself.
His fingers touched between her legs and she flinched at the surprise. He didn’t stop there, continuing to tease the folds with her hanging on, so close.
She picked up speed, driving him in and out.
With one touch, he brushed over the nub that sent her body and mind spiraling with her orgasm. His big hands gripped her hips and he took over.
Good thing because her legs were not so strong any more.
It took very little for her to join back in, meeting him with each fierce stroke. She fell into his rhythm and told him, “More. Much more.”
He pushed hard two more times.
She clenched around him and he stroked deep, curling his body up to hers, his arms hard with pumped muscles. The sound that came from him was as flattering as it got for a woman.
She slumped against him and his warm arms held her.
They were both covered in perspiration.
He mumbled, “Warm enough, babe?”
“Yes. I like.”
“Herc says that.”
She pushed up to look at him. “What?”
“He says, ‘I like,’ which means he approves or sometimes it’s a compliment.”
“I would like to hear Herc.”
“You could if ... ” He broke off what he was saying.
“If what?”
“Nothing, just rest until we have to get going.”
As he stretched out again, she draped her body over him.
“Eli?”
“Yes?”
“You should name your bear.”
She’d never thought to do that, but seeing Justin and Herc made her regret not having a relationship like theirs. As an adult, Elianna hadn’t spent time with other shifters besides her mother, and her mother had not named her animal either. Elianna had no friends to talk with about things like naming a bear.
She’d had no one like Justin.
Looking back now, she realized her mother’s clan had probably never named their bears, but that wasn’t the reason Elianna hadn’t. She’d witnessed so much connection with Justin and his Herc, that it made her want more with her bear.
She said, “I will think on this naming.” With her post-lovemaking euphoria wearing off, her mind got busy bothering her. She’d like to just enjoy this special time, but her conscience was pitching a tantrum.
She said, “Must talk.”
“About your bear?”
“No.”
“You should rest, babe. We can talk later.”
“Why? You need sleep?” she asked in a teasing tone.
“Not really. I won’t sleep soundly until we’re out of here.”
“Pain?”
He toyed with her hair. It had to look a mess. Justin explained, “Pain isn’t keeping me awake. I was trained for military operations. Sometimes we went days without sleeping. When that happened, we slept in short bursts of a few minutes here or there. I’m not going to sleep hard when we have wolves tracking you.”
She knew what she had to say, but she was stalling. A selfish part of her did not want to give up the way Justin looked at her right now, as if she was his future.
Maybe she just wanted to think those were his thoughts, because that was how she looked at him.
“What is it, Eli, babe?”
“You said you were young boy in Clan Boudreaux.”
His finger stopped twirling her hair for a second, then started up again. “Unfortunately, yes.”
“Not bad clan?” She hadn’t considered the fact that she might be going to an abusive clan, but Justin’s obvious dislike of this clan had made her think twice about where she was headed.
“Not exactly.” Justin continued to play with her hair as he spoke in a dull monotone so unlike the man she’d come to know who was full of life and energy.
His growing up there could solve everything. But she needed to know why Justin did not like this clan.
She asked, “How long?”
“How long did I stay with them?” he clarified.
“Yes.”
“Until I turned eighteen. I told my alpha I was leaving and he didn’t care.”
“Why not care? Herc powerful bear.”
A sad smile overtook Justin’s mouth. “Not back then. I never shifted into my bear until after leaving the clan.”
She pushed up, shocked. “How? You meet bear as child.”
“Normally, yes, but I was an unusual case. I kept waiting to feel this animal everyone told me about, but I never felt anything. They thought I was damaged.”
She could only imagine how awful that must have been for Justin. “Clans not nice to ... ”
“Weak shifters. You can say it. I heard much worse growing up.”
“But ... you are bear now. How?”
“That’s an interesting story I can’t wait to tell you, and I will share it very soon, but not yet. I can’t explain a lot about my time after that right now.” He stopped talking and looked up at her with a longing that squeezed her heart. “I work with a secret group and can only share what I am and what I do with my mate.”
He put his hand on the side of her face and she leaned into it with her eyes shut.
Her heart cried out, because she could see he wanted her as a mate. She had never expected any shifter to want her and never one so honorable as Justin.
But she could not let him ask her if she had not told him everything yet.
“Eli, babe, I think you and I—”
She grabbed his hand. “Stop.”
“Why?” He was still just as calm as he had been, but his heart pumped hard beneath her other hand.
“I must talk. Need truth.”
Justin’s throat moved with a swallow. “I’m listening.”
“Must go to Clan Boudreaux.”
“I know that.” He frowned as if she confused him. “I understand you probably plan to go back to Russia soon, too, but—”
“No. Not to Russia.”
“Ever?” he clarified.
“Ever.”
A peaceful happiness overtook his face. “Really? Then there’s nothing else that matters.”
“I wish is so, but ... I must make agreement.”
Frowning again, he said, “You keep saying that like I’ve forgotten it’s my job to take you to Louisiana, which I will. I just don’t promise to leave you.” He winked and grinned.
She looked away, trying to find the right words.
He turned her chin back to him with his finger, and now his face reflected the seriousness she felt.
“What is it, Eli, babe? We can figure out anything if you’re not just visiting and going back to Russia.”
Her voice shook. “Not visit. Must join clan. Part of deal.”
“Join? You’re serious?”
“Yes. Must do.”
“What are they making you do?” His voice vibrated with anger.
She put a finger on his lips. “Wait. Hear first.” When she felt the muscles in his body ease beneath her, she explained, “I leave Russia. My alpha make deal with
US alpha. Each send female shifter for clan ...” She couldn’t think of the right words when she was nervous.
Justin helped her. “Most shifter clans and packs have a hard time introducing new blood into the group, so this has been done before. But the females have to go willingly,” he added in a firm voice. “Are you being coerced?”
“What is coerced?”
“It means the same as twisting your arm to do something you don’t want to do.”
“Ah. No, I plan long time to come.”
Surprise lifted his eyebrows. “I’m confused. If this is what you wanted to do, why didn’t your father just send you here? Why use you as part of a trade? What is he holding over you?”
Her throat squeezed at what she had to explain. “Small boy. Six years. His name Nico. I claim as brother.” She explained who Nico was and how she was the only person who would ever care for this child. As she told him about Nico being left by his clan because he was too small, she could see the understanding dawn in Justin’s eyes.
She strayed from the topic when she started telling Justin stories about her Nico, then took a deep breath and finished what she’d started. “Romanov not want bastard he made with polar bear. My mother. Had trouble with mate and took trip for six months.”
“Did he know he’d gotten your mother pregnant?”
“No.”
“What happened next?”
“I am born in far north.”
“Where?”
She told him about the beautiful country in the northeastern corner of Russia where she had miles to run, mountains to climb and so many fish to eat. “Meet bear at six. She like swim. No one see bear until nine. We stay far from clan, but mother want mate. Polar bear shifter see my bear and tell clan. They tell mother take bastard cub away. We move fifty kilometers, find place to stay. Same problem many times. Mother much lonely. Like me. Too much. They leave when see my bear.”
Justin stroked her face. “That had to be hard.”
Elianna shrugged, but could not deny how difficult it was and that she blamed herself. Her mother had been content to stay up there and find a mate until the clan and other shifters turned on her.
They did not want Elianna around to shame them with evidence of breeding with a grizzly.
“Mother miss grizzly alpha,” Elianna said, determined to get this all out. “She drag me over mountains many months. I am maybe nineteen. On way to PK, we find Nico. Tiny boy. I save him.” Casting a look down at Justin, she said, “I keep him. Always.”
He nodded, which was enough for now.
She said, “I hide bear always.”
Justin’s hand stilled. “Are you saying you’ve been keeping your bear hidden out of shame?”
Dropping her head, feeling the shame he was talking about, she whispered, “Yes.”
“Oh, Eli, babe, you can’t do that. You and your bear need to live as one.”
“Bear not like me.”
“She does,” Justin argued. “But she might be hurt. That’s changing now. You don’t hide your bear from anyone ever again.”
She felt the years of exhaustion wash over her from constantly hiding among both humans and shifters. “You are special, Justin. You like my bear.”
“Love your bear. You have to use the right words.”
Her heart jumped at the word love, but it had been for her bear. “Others hate. If you with me and I shift, they shun us.”
He cupped her face between both of his huge hands. “I will never allow anyone to make you feel uncomfortable or to shun your bear. Ever. They will respect you for the incredible gift to our kind that you are or they will pay a price.”
Her eyes welled up, but she was not a crier. She would not show a weakness in front of this man who was ready to stand up for her and her bear.
He lifted up and kissed her with so much love, she felt it in her chest. The kiss went on for a long minute, then he eased back down. “That brings me to what I was trying to say earlier, that we would—”
“No.”
“Babe, you have got to rethink that word. It’s not my favorite.”
How could this man be amusing at such a difficult time for her? “You impossible.”
“Okay. Add that to crazy, fun and hot.”
“Not say hot,” she told him, unable to keep the smile off her face.
“You wanted to though. I see the way you look at me and, by the way, I like it. You can ogle me all you want. I intend to ogle you just as much.”
“I try be serious.”
He inhaled so deeply, his chest lifted her up, then lowered her again as he exhaled. “I’m listening.”
“I think no.”
“Oh, no?” He rattled off, “You were born out of wedlock, crossed mountains for months to reach PK, found Nico on the way and adopted him. You made a deal to join Clan Boudreaux so you could bring Nico to live in America. You’re gonna have to add being really smart to my list.”
She snorted. “Add arrogant.”
“Nah, we call it confidence where I came from.”
“Clan Boudreaux?” she asked, hopeful.
His humor slid away. “That’s not my home. So we need to figure out how to deliver you to that clan, get Nico sent over, then you can tell them you’ve decided to go on your own. I’ll be there with you the whole way.”
She didn’t think any of the Louisiana male bear shifters would accept her, but would they allow her to stay with Justin?
Until meeting him, she had intended to fulfill her agreement, hope that all the potential mates would reject her, then demand Nico be sent. Once they got tired of her and Nico, she would just leave and live in mountains like this with him.
But now she had to consider Justin.
She could not put Justin in a difficult position that would be unfair to him. Would the alpha let Justin come live with them?
She considered slapping herself.
That alpha had been unkind to Justin as a child. If the alpha had not cared enough to keep a child, he would not treat Justin any better now, plus Justin hated them all. He used polite words, but the anger and hurt was clear to see by anyone who cared to notice.
Asking Justin to join her there would be cruel.
Also, he had some secret job to do.
She asked, “I agree to stay.”
“I’m not standing by while anyone pushes you to do something you don’t want to do,” Justin said. Without taking a breath, he added, “You keep cutting me off, but I want you as my mate, Eli. I love you and your bear. If you don’t want what I offer, I’ll accept no, but not because some alpha thinks he can push you to stay in a clan that isn’t yours.”
“Oh, Justin. I make bad mess.”
“No, you haven’t. Just let me talk to my boss and—”
She said it fast, hoping it would hurt less once the words were out. “I agree to Clan Boudreaux mate.”
She had been wrong. This was not better.
His silence crushed her.
CHAPTER 24
Justin’s brain couldn’t process Eli’s words.
She’d agreed to take a mate at Clan Boudreaux?
He stared at the fine features of her face as early daylight kept offering hints the sun intended to rise soon.
“What, Justin?”
He was trying to form something to say, but that lump in his throat made it tough.
“Please, Justin,” she implored.
The sadness in her voice ripped little holes in his heart that struggled to keep pace with his pain.
“Please.”
Time to suck it up.
How could he be angry with her when she hadn’t even known he existed when she made that agreement? He couldn’t, but that didn’t stop him from being as hurt as he’d been every other time in his life when he wanted someone to care about him.
It felt as if his mate had turned her back on him and he knew that wasn’t the case.
Drawing in enough air to force words past his thick throat, he said, “I�
�m not upset with you, Eli. I’m just ... I’m confused. Why did you—”
“Have sex?”
“Yes.”
She gave him a sweet smile and watched him with dejected eyes. “I do not want other mate. I want you.”
His heart surged with the shot of happiness her words gave him. “Then why did you agree to mate a Clan Boudreaux shifter?”
“You will not like.”
Call him short on conscience, but he was glad for any reason she didn’t want a mate from that clan. “You don’t know that. Just tell me so I’ll understand.”
“Alexandre know I would not stay. He think mate will make difference. He said no mate, no Nico. I think I say yes to mate, no bond. I get Nico and run, but now ...” She looked away then back to Justin. “Now I know plan is bad. Many shifters here. Clan would find me. Maybe kill. I must keep Nico.”
That fucker Alexandre.
What kind of father leaves a daughter to fend for herself all her life, then puts her in a bind to accept a mate she hasn’t even met for any hope of seeing Nico again?
Justin was heartened that she had never intended to actually bond with a mate.
If her father thought this woman couldn’t survive on her own, he knew nothing about Eli.
Justin skipped past the part about the clan punishing or killing her, because he’d destroy every clan member who dared to touch her. He asked, “Has the alpha here chosen a mate or is that your choice?”
“Do not know.” She made a disgusted sound and shook her head. “Make stupid deal.”
“Not stupid,” he corrected her and rubbed his thumb over her lips. “Never call yourself stupid. You are bright, resourceful and beautiful. Agreeing to take a mate complicates things, but I’m not willing to admit defeat.”
Hope stirred in her gaze. “How?”
“My boss is very powerful and it’s important to him that each of his shifters end up mated.” He wouldn’t get into the mating curse all Gallize shifters faced. He still had a few years to go and he’d found a mate.
Not just a mate, the only mate for him.
He wasn’t about to pass up having someone like Eli in his life.