“See, this is the base,” Samantha said, pointing to a car seat that was set up on a shelf. “You can leave the base in the car and just lift the seat out, so if the baby’s sleeping, you don’t have to wake them.”
As Levi stared at the pink floral seat, he was suddenly struck with how small a baby had to be to fit in something like that. He looked at his hands for a moment before shoving them into the pockets of his jeans.
“So one car seat and two bases?” Levi asked. “Should we get them now?”
Samantha glanced over at him. “I don’t know, to be honest. It’s not that I don’t want to buy baby stuff, but I don’t really have the room for any of it right now. There has been talk about me moving to a bigger room in the house if I chose to stay there, but I’m still in a smaller room for the time being.”
“Okay. So we’ll leave the bigger stuff for now, but how about we find something smaller?”
Samantha looked around then headed in the direction of the clothes. Levi followed her, coming to a stop next to a rack of baby clothes.
“Aren’t these adorable?” Samantha said as she held up an all-in-one outfit in light pink with long sleeves and covered feet. It looked impossibly small, like it would fit a premature baby, not a full term one. “It’s going to be cold when we come home from the hospital. Something like this would be nice to dress her in.”
Levi took it when she held it out to him, touching the fabric and finding it soft beneath his fingertips. “It is very cute. Do they have snowsuits for babies? How do they stay warm in the winter?”
Samantha looked around. “Here.” She led the way to another area. “I think you get one of these and it goes underneath the baby in the car seat, and then you put them inside and strap them in, and this part covers the top of the car seat, protecting them from the cold.”
With a laugh, Levi shook his head. “I swear. I feel like I need to take a course in prepping for baby.”
“Well, you can take that course,” Samantha said with a smile. “I’m going to be taking the one on prepping for the birth.”
“They have courses for that?” Levi asked, feeling like he was wandering further and further away from his comfort zone.
“Yeah, they want to help mothers prepare for it. Help them be informed of what to expect in each of the birthing stages. What options are available for things like pain control.”
“I guess that’s a good idea,” Levi remarked, always on board with being prepared for something. He took another look at the outfit in his hand, but he didn’t put it back.
Samantha continued to wander through the aisles, pulling outfits off the racks then putting them back. She looked at tiny socks that looked like they’d just fit over his thumb. Even though they weren’t planning to buy anything major, Levi didn’t bother to suggest that they leave. He was perfectly happy to follow Samantha through the store. If that was what she wanted to do, he would indulge her because he knew she needed a break from the stress she’d been dealing with lately.
“Here’s another cute outfit,” Smanatha said, holding up one similar to the first one she’d shown him.
It, too, was pink, and Levi had a feeling that he was going to be seeing a lot of that color. She hung it back up, but as she moved on to another rack, Levi picked it up and added it to the other outfit he had draped over his arm. A few minutes later, Sammi handed him a pink blanket that was even softer than the clothes he already carried. He draped it over the small—but growing—pile on his arm. Levi only picked out one thing himself. It was a little pink stuffed animal that had a small blanket attached to it.
Finally, they worked their way back around to the front of the store where the cashiers and exit were.
“I thought we weren’t going to buy anything,” Samantha said as she eyed the items in his arms.
Levi smiled. “Nothing big, but I thought we should get a few small things to start getting ready for her.”
Samantha didn’t argue as she came to stand next to him in the line at the cash register. Levi looked down at her, watching her stare at the things he’d placed beside the cash register. He wanted to reach out and tuck the stray curl behind her ear, to draw her gaze back to his.
He hadn’t thought much of their night together. Mainly because he couldn’t remember much of it, but he also didn’t try too hard to recall it because that really served no purpose for the relationship they had now. But as he stood with her, he wished he had the right to put his arm around her. To hold her close.
It was an odd feeling because when he’d been with Caren, he hadn’t felt the desire for that type of casual affection. It wasn’t that they hadn’t had a physical relationship—they had—but outside of that, they didn’t have a closeness like he found himself wanting to have with Samantha. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what to do about it.
Samantha gave him a sideways glance, a smile tilting the edge of her mouth. “You’re going to spoil her, aren’t you?”
Was he? The thought of buying things for his little girl appealed to him. As the woman rang up the purchases, Levi realized that the feeling was similar to how he’d felt after buying the maternity clothes for Samantha. It had brought him joy, just as the purchases for the baby did now. He wanted to be able to do this on a regular basis, not just for the baby—his little girl—but for Samantha as well.
“Isn’t that what daddies do?” he asked, slipping his card into the machine.
A shadow crossed Samantha’s face before she smiled at him. “Yeah, it is.”
“Do you have a name picked out yet?” the cashier asked as she folded the clothes and put them into the bag. “I assume it’s a little girl?”
Samantha nodded. “Yes. The baby is a girl.” She rubbed a hand over her belly. “But we haven’t settled on a name yet.”
“We had a name all picked out and then when the baby was born, we chose a completely different one. It was very clear once we met him, that the name didn’t suit him at all. Of course, the second time around, we also chose a name, and that one ended up fitting perfectly. So go figure.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard of that happening. I think I’d like to have a possible name lined up before she’s born. At least we’re not calling her it anymore.”
The woman chuckled. “Well, congratulations on your baby girl.”
“Thank you,” Levi said as he took the bag. He laid a hand on Samantha’s back as they exited the store into the cool night air. When they reached the truck, he opened the door for her and asked, “Would you like to go for coffee?”
She settled on the seat, her brow furrowed above her dark eyes as she looked at him. “I don’t really do coffee these days.”
“Hot chocolate and a donut?” Levi suggested, suddenly determined to not have their time together end. As he stood there, even though they were in a completely different location, in completely different circumstances, Levi felt like he had the night in the bar. He didn’t want to be alone, but nor did he want to be with just anyone. He wanted to be with Samantha. He wasn’t ready to go back home to his empty house just yet.
“Now that, I can do.”
Relieved, Levi closed her door and went to climb behind the wheel of the truck. Right then, he wasn’t going to think about how much he was coming to enjoy any time he spent with Samantha. Though he had a long day coming up, and he probably should have been at home getting ready for it, Levi pushed aside those responsibilities in favor of spending time with Samantha.
They ended up at a Tim Hortons that was on the route he’d take when he drove Samantha home a little later. They stood in the short line and then approached the counter when it was their turn. Samantha ordered a hot chocolate, and he ordered a coffee along with a couple of donuts. It didn’t take long before they were seated at a table away from the other people in the restaurant.
“Are you super busy these days?” Samantha asked as she cupped her hot chocolate in her hands. Watching him, she took a sip.
“On the days it’s not raining. A
s a person who works with growing plants, I understand that rain is necessary, but I do have landscaping jobs lined up that require nice weather in order to complete them.”
“I love rainy, gray days,” Samantha said, her voice soft. “I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m not much of an outdoors person, so when it’s rainy, I have an excuse to stay inside with a good book or to work on a favorite craft or just relax.”
“I like gray days without the rain,” Levi said. “I prefer to work when it’s not super hot or sunny, so we can agree on that.”
“What do you like to do when you have free time?” she asked, still holding her mug close to her mouth.
“I don’t have much of that, especially in the summer, but when I do, I work on my house. Doing renovations and such. I also enjoy watching sports.”
“Like football?” Samantha asked.
“Yep. I have season tickets to the Bombers although I share them with the guys who work for me. I don’t have Jets’ tickets, but I try to make it to their games when my best friend is in town.”
“Your best friend doesn’t live here in Winnipeg?” Samantha seemed to perk up at that bit of information, for some reason.
“He does, but his job takes him out of town for big chunks of time. He works in the mines in Northern Manitoba.”
“Really? My best friend works as a nurse up north. She lives in Snow Lake, but she travels to other communities a lot.”
“Huh. Wonder if they know each other,” Levi said. “I’ll have to ask Henry the next time I talk to him. What’s your friend’s name?”
“Amy Wallace.” Samantha set her mug down and broke off a piece of her donut. “I suppose if they haven’t met already, they will once the baby arrives.”
“That’s true. Henry was surprised to find out that I was going to be a dad,” Levi said.
Samantha nodded. “Amy was surprised too. I had always planned—hoped—to have children.” She paused, lowering her gaze to her mug. “Just in different circumstances.”
Levi watched her for a moment, realizing that while he was finding himself drawn to Samantha, eager to share the role of parenting with her, she apparently didn’t feel the same way about him or the future they would have together as parents. Why did the idea of that make him feel frustrated and angry?
They didn’t have any tie beyond that of their child. He needed to remember that.
Their conversation slowed after that, and when Samantha covered her mouth and yawned, Levi took the opportunity to suggest it was time to take her home. When she didn’t argue with him, they finished their drinks and left the restaurant.
After a quiet ride home with their conversation focusing mainly on what lay ahead for Emily, Levi walked Samantha to the door and handed her the bag of baby items. “You might as well keep these.”
Samantha looked down at the bag then took it from him, their fingers brushing briefly. “Thanks. I’ll clear a drawer to start collecting things now, I think.”
“Let me know if you need anything,” Levi said, feeling as if that was his standard goodbye. It was so much less than what he wanted to offer her, but he wasn’t sure that she would accept anything more from him.
“I will. Thank you for dinner, the shopping and the hot chocolate. It was a nice break.”
“Well, if you need another, give me a call.”
She gave him a quick smile and seemed to hesitate before reaching out to rest her hand on his arm for a moment. “I will.”
Levi watched her go inside the house, closing the front door behind her with a soft thud. He lingered there for a minute, not understanding the longing he had for the right to walk through that door with her. To be welcomed without reservation into the family home. To have people who cared for him in spite of everything. He knew that they weren’t pleased with the decisions she’d made that had resulted in the pregnancy, but they hadn’t kicked her out or turned their back on her.
Unlike how his mom had reacted with him even though he’d done what he thought was the right thing.
Turning on his heel, Levi went back to his truck and climbed behind the wheel, trying to quell the longing he felt. It was fruitless to wish for something so far beyond his reach. Steve Callaghan had made that clear when he’d said he wouldn’t push for marriage between them. He’d apparently seen something that was lacking in Levi. It grated on him, though, that they were willing to accept Samantha being involved with a man who had been claiming their faith even while sleeping with their daughter, yet they still found fault with Levi. That made zero sense to him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Inside the house, Sammi found Danica in the kitchen once again with her books. “Did you go to the hospital?”
Danica glanced up, her expression tense, then she looked back down at the paper she’d been writing on. “Yeah. We didn’t stay too long. Mom wasn’t doing very well.”
Concerned, Sammi immediately sat down at the table, setting the bag with the baby things, along with her purse, on the floor beside her chair. “What happened? Is Mom okay?”
Her younger sister let out a sigh and slumped back in her chair, crossing her arms. Her chin was pressed to her chest as she stared blankly on the table. “She’s okay, just having one of her moments. She cried when we first arrived to see her, but then she got angry when we started talking about school and stuff. I don’t know why.”
“Ah, sweetie.” Sammi moved her chair closer to Danica’s so she could wrap her arms around her sister. “I’m sure it was just hard for Mom to hear about the things she would normally be a part of with you and Dalton. You know that she wasn’t really angry with you kids. We’ve talked about how she might be overly emotional as a result of the aneurysm.”
“I know.” Danica rubbed a finger under her eye, still not looking at Sammi. “I just want things to be like they were. I just want Mom back like she was.”
“I do too,” Sammi whispered, and then just sat there holding her sister.
After a few minutes, Danica shifted, moving out of Sammi’s embrace. “I need to finish my homework.”
“Do you need any help?” Sammi asked, wanting to make sure that if Danica needed something, she knew that Sammi would help her.
“No. I can do it. I’m just having a hard time focusing, that’s all.”
Sammi understood that. “You know where to find me, if you need me.”
Danica gave her a small smile. “Thanks, Sammi.”
After picking up her bag and purse, Sammi headed up to her bedroom. As she closed the door, she thought back to her conversation with Levi and looked around the room. It wasn’t a super small bedroom, but it would be fairly cramped if she had to set up a crib, a dresser and a change table for the baby. And that didn’t even take into consideration things like a baby swing or other furniture-type items like a rocking chair.
Sammi slumped down on the edge of her bed and clutched the bag in her lap. She’d been waffling back and forth about moving out. At first, when her parents hadn’t seemed to be very accepting of her pregnancy, she was sure she’d need to move. But then they’d come around, and she had thought that maybe staying was a real possibility. They’d even discussed her moving to one of the larger rooms.
Now, after what had happened with her mom, there was a large part of her that wanted to be with her family, to help. With her nursing background, Sammi knew it would be advantageous for her dad to have her close by, but she didn’t know how she could balance taking care of a baby and helping care for her mom.
It was overwhelming to try to think it all through. With Makayla just having a baby too, she wouldn’t be able to devote a lot of time to the care of their mom either. Sammi didn’t want to see her mom end up in a care home, even if it was only a temporary thing. Not that she had anything against care homes. She knew that they had a role to play for people who couldn’t stay in their own homes while recovering or adjusting to substantial life change, but for Sammi, it felt like with her background, she should be able to h
elp keep her mom at home for her recovery.
The weight of that responsibility fell heavy on her shoulders as Sammi sat there, and suddenly, she just wanted to be back in the store with Levi, looking at cute things for their baby. Watching Levi’s face as he’d confessed that yes, he likely would spoil their daughter. The evening had been a bright spot in the midst of the darkness that continued to pervade their days. She wanted brightness for herself. For Danica. For her dad. For her mom.
Moving slowly, Sammi got ready for bed, and then, as she lay curled up under her blankets, she tapped on the screen of her phone and brought up her text messages with Levi. Something had shifted as they’d sat together in Tims with their hot chocolate and coffee, and Sammi wasn’t sure exactly what had happened, but she had to make sure that things were still okay with them.
She needed for things to be okay between them.
She needed him to still be there for her.
He was the one person who could be there for her and only her. Levi wouldn’t feel obliged to be there for anyone else but her since he wasn’t close to others in the family. But were she and Levi still close enough for that?
Desperate to make sure that Levi knew that she appreciated what he’d done for her and to make sure that whatever had shifted between them hadn’t been something permanent, Sammi tapped out a message.
Thank you so very much for this evening. I know that you’re busy, so I appreciate you taking the time to have dinner and go shopping with me. Maybe when you have another free evening, we can do it again. Next time my treat. xxx
Sammi didn’t anticipate a quick response since, given his days started so early, it was likely Levi had gone to bed as soon as he got home. She laid her phone on the nightstand and snapped off the light. Right away she could tell that this wouldn’t be a night for tossing and turning. Exhaustion quickly pulled her toward oblivion, but she had a moment before falling asleep where she prayed once again for her mom. And then tacked on a prayer for her baby…and for Levi.
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