He’d just reached the top step when the front door of the house opened. Samantha stood there, a smile on her face. She wore a pair of fitted dark blue jeans and an over-sized cream-colored sweater with a draped neck that hung low over her hips, stretching across her swollen belly. Her dark hair lay in shiny waves over her shoulders, and her eyes shone as he neared. He couldn’t help but return her smile when their gazes met.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” he said as he held out the bouquet.
Her gaze dropped to the flowers then lifted to his again as her smile grew even brighter. “Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving to you too.” She stepped back from the doorway. “C’mon in.”
“Hope I’m not late,” he said, noticing the increase in the noise level as he followed her into the house.
“Nope. Right on time, or early, actually.” She closed the door then turned to face him, her smile having dimmed a little. “It’s our first year doing this without my mom’s supervision. We’re struggling a bit.”
“Anything I can do to help?” Levi asked.
“I think we’re good for now, but thanks for the offer.” She laid the bouquet on a small table against the wall opposite the closet. “Can I take your coat?”
“Uh…sure.” Realizing he needed both hands, Levi held out the flower arrangement. As Samantha took it, he said, “I also brought this for your mom.”
“It’s beautiful, Levi,” Samantha said as she took it from him. As she turned the container that held the arrangement to look at it from different angles, Levi unzipped his jacket and shrugged it off. “Such beautiful fall colors.”
“I hope she’ll like it.”
“I’m sure she will,” Samantha said. “She loves flowers.”
“That’s something she has in common with my mom.” Levi reached into the closet and pulled out a hanger.
“Hey, there, Levi.”
He turned to see that Bennett had joined them in the foyer with a little girl in his arms and Keenan at his side. “Hey. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Why don’t you come on into the safe zone,” Bennett said with a nod of his head toward the living room. “The women have chased most of us out of the kitchen even though all we were trying to do was help.”
Samantha laughed. “That’s what you call what you were doing?”
“Not my fault Makayla didn’t like how I was peeling the potatoes,” Bennett said with a shrug.
“There was hardly any potato left by the time you were done with it,” Samantha scoffed. “I’m pretty sure Mom taught you better than that.” She turned to Levi. “I’ll take these into Mom in a little bit since she’s sleeping at the moment. Maybe if she wakes up while you’re here, you can visit with her then. But, regardless, I’ll be sure she knows that these are from you.” She picked up the bouquet. “And I’m going to put these in water.”
Levi watched as she headed toward the kitchen then turned to face the men who were hanging out in the living room with Bennett and Olivia Joy. Gabe, Mitch, and Tristan were there, but Ethan and Dalton appeared to be missing.
When he mentioned it, Bennett laughed. “Ethan is in the kitchen to make sure that Makayla doesn’t lift anything heavier than a fork. And Dalton, well, he’d do pretty much anything to avoid having to listen to sports talk.”
Wondering if he should be taking a similar role with Samantha, Levi glanced toward the kitchen as he settled onto the couch. The other guys sat back down, Bennett jiggling the baby on his knee. She squealed and clapped her hands.
“Not long now and you’ll have one of those,” Keenan said.
Levi glanced over at his friend. “Thankfully, we’ve got a few more months. I think I’m going to need them all to be prepared.”
“You’re never going to be truly ready,” Bennett told him. “And the time goes by in the blink of an eye.”
Levi didn’t want the time to fly by. He didn’t want to think about how, once the baby was born, he was only going to be able to visit her. And that at the end of each visit, he was going to be going home alone. For a little while now, he’d realized that that wasn’t what he wanted. What he felt for his baby girl was only rivaled by what he had come to feel for her mother.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Though the meal turned out fairly well, Sammi noticed an air of sadness while they ate and talked. Not surprisingly, her mom’s absence at the dinner table was keenly felt by all. They hadn’t been sure if she’d be up to eating dinner with them, but they had planned to set a place for her until their dad made it clear that their mom had refused to join them.
That had broken all their hearts, but most of all her dad’s. This was a change that none of them wanted to face, but until their mom decided to accept that she needed to work hard in order to regain what she’d lost, it was a change none of them could fight. It was clear though, that her dad wasn’t going to let traditions go, because as the meal ended, just as he had done in previous years, he encouraged them to share what they were thankful for.
Gabe shared how he was thankful for Maya and for the progress he’d made since his accident. They were all thankful for that. Thankful for Gabe’s life. Thankful that he was sitting at the table with them when things so easily could have turned out differently.
Others shared after Gabe did, and Sammi was debating whether or not she should participate. It was nothing short of a miracle that she was able to view much of what had happened that year in a positive light now. There were many things to be thankful for instead of upset about. Still, she struggled to put it all into words, preferring to just listen as the others talked.
No one was being forced to say anything, so she was surprised when Levi spoke up.
“I want to thank you for including me today, for welcoming me in spite of the circumstances that caused our paths to cross.” Levi looked at her, his gaze lingering. “I am also very thankful for Samantha and the baby, and the people I’ve come to know as a result of what happened. I’m especially thankful for Bennett and Keenan, who have both taken the time to share their faith with me.” Levi glanced to where Keenan sat with his arm around Tami. “It was the first time I’d ever heard anything like that. Learning what their faith meant to them has been eye-opening, and learning what that faith could mean to me has been life-changing.” He paused. “So tonight, what I’m most thankful for is God’s gift to me of eternal life.”
Sammi sat staring at Levi, stunned at his revelation. Had he really become a Christian? Relief and love flooded Sammi, catching her off guard because she’d tried so hard to hold back the depth of her feelings for Levi. There was no guarantee that this would change anything between them, but just knowing that should anything happen to him, he would go to heaven filled her with relief. And now they would be raising their daughter in a faith they shared. That would only make things easier for them.
As she glanced around the table, Sammi smiled at the joy she saw on the faces of her family. It touched her to see that they were as happy about Levi’s news as she was. Even if there was nothing more than friendship and co-parenting between them, she knew that her family would always welcome Levi, giving him the support he hadn’t had much of in his life.
But the evening’s joy wasn’t over. The moment when Bennett proposed to Grace had brought even more happiness, filling the emptiness they’d all been feeling since their mom’s collapse. Of course, it didn’t completely erase the sadness. After all, Sammi was well aware she wasn’t the only one who knew that their mom would have been the happiest of them all at the news that had been shared that night. Sammi also knew, though, that the person their mom had been before the aneurysm would have told them not to put their lives on hold because of her. So they would move forward, praying and hoping that she would turn that corner that would allow them more than just a glimpse of the woman she’d once been.
As the time of sharing came to an end, their dad prayed as he did each year, then, after congratulating Bennett and Grace and speaking softly with Levi for a moment, he disappeared d
own the hallway that led to the master bedroom suite. With muted conversation, the rest of them cleared up the food, everyone pitching in to help without complaint even though in years past there was usually some good-natured bantering among them, everyone trying to get out of having to do the worst jobs.
Sammi hugged both Bennett and Grace as she passed them, happy that they were finally going to become a family. She didn’t imagine it would be long before Gabe popped the question to Maya.
As she pulled the cloth off the table, Sammi tried not to think about how she still—even after the mess with Jayden—wanted marriage for herself someday. The feeling intensified as she watched her siblings find love and move on to marriage. She bundled up the dirty Thanksgiving-themed tablecloth into her arms and walked to the laundry room off the kitchen. The buzz of conversation followed her, but she didn’t focus in on any part of it.
She opened the front of the washer and bent to shove the cloth inside along with a few towels that were in a basket near the washer. This was just another task that her mom had always taken responsibility for, that was now Sammi’s. What would happen when she had the baby and couldn’t help out like she was doing now? Would her mom have turned a corner by then?
Christmas loomed ahead of them, and Sammi couldn’t imagine what the mood would be like then if things hadn’t improved with their mom.
“Samantha?”
Hearing Levi’s voice, Sammi shut the door of the washing machine and turned to face him, her hand resting on her stomach. “Hi.”
“Are you okay?” His brows were drawn together, and his voice was laced with concern.
“I am.” Drawing strength from his concern, she took a deep breath and attempted a smile. “Always thinking about Mom, you know?”
“Yes, I do know. And I know you’re not the only one thinking about her today. I have days like that with my mom too. The holidays are always the hardest. Traditions change. Adjustments have to be made. It’s early on in your mom’s illness, and those firsts are the most challenging. First Thanksgiving. First Christmas. But the one thing I always reminded myself was that even though it was the first of a different type of celebration, at least it wasn’t the first holiday without her completely. Things are different, but they can still be good.”
Levi’s words encouraged Sammi, taking away a bit of the ache in her heart at her mom’s absence from the holiday celebration. The idea that they could quite possibly have been celebrating this Thanksgiving without her at all definitely helped to put things into perspective. “So much of what you’ve shared of your experiences with your mom has helped me look beyond right now to see that the future can still be good even if things are different with Mom. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad to be able to share what I’ve gone through if it will help you.” He smiled at her, the skin at the corner of his eyes crinkling. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” Sammi said. “Just let me get this washer going.”
Once the machine was running, they walked out of the laundry room then Sammi paused. “It’s kinda noisy in here. Do you want to sit out on the back veranda? It might be a bit chilly, but with jackets on, we should be okay.”
“Are you sure you’ll be warm enough?” Levi asked as they walked to the foyer to get their jackets.
“Yeah. I have a warm jacket here.”
A few minutes later, they were out on the swing on the veranda, both zipped up in their jackets. In past years, if it were mild enough, her dad would have started a fire in the fire pit he and her brothers had built a few years back. In fact, if things had been normal, there would probably have been a fire lit that night. She would have enjoyed sharing that experience with Levi.
“I was so pleased to hear what you shared earlier,” she said, looking up at him in the dim glow from the porch light which was several feet away. “It seems we both have had a spiritual moment recently.”
“To be honest, I didn’t understand a lot of what happened that night at the church.” Levi set the swing in motion, gently moving them back and forth. “Keenan and Bennett had already been sharing things about God with me, but after that service, I had a lot more questions. Thankfully, Keenan made time for me and helped me to understand it.”
She was glad that the two guys had been there for Levi. “When did this happen?”
“A couple of nights after the service,” Levi said. “It was actually after a conversation with Henry before he left to go back up north.”
“Why didn’t you say anything to me about this before tonight?” They’d talked or texted every day, so it made her wonder why he hadn’t shared what he had been experiencing.
Levi didn’t answer right away, his face in profile to her as he stared out at the darkness. Finally, he glanced over at her then bent his head down. “I wasn’t sure if my experience would change things.”
Sammi sat for a moment, trying to figure out which way to take his words. Was he afraid things would change or that they wouldn’t? Had he been afraid that if he embraced her faith, she would expect him to propose to her? She couldn’t deny that the thought had crossed her mind, but only because of her feelings for him.
Though he’d always been kind and treated her far better than Jayden ever had, he’d never even hinted that he wanted something more. It had only been wishful thinking on her part, and she knew it, but it still hurt to think that he hadn’t wanted to share his exciting news with her because he hadn’t wanted her to read anything more into it.
“It won’t change anything,” Sammi said, as much to herself as to him. “I’m just happy for you. It’s an important step.”
The swing slowed to a stop then Levi turned to face her. “I understand now the importance that faith plays in your life. Keenan explained it to me.” He lifted a hand and rubbed the back of his neck. “The thing is, Samantha, since meeting you, my whole life has changed. For the better. And it’s not just the baby.”
Sammi stayed silent, afraid to misinterpret what he was saying. She realized now that there were things more important in life than just what she wanted—like her ideal romance and proposal and wedding. At that moment, how she felt about Levi was less important than them being able to get along for the sake of their little girl. She didn’t want to blurt out how she felt only to find he didn't feel the same way. The awkwardness that was follow would be difficult—if not impossible—to work past.
“I don’t want to make things weird between us,” Levi said, his voice low. “But I need you to know that I do care about you. Beyond just the fact that you’re the mother of my baby.”
Well, that was clear as mud. Care? What exactly did that mean? Sammi wanted to just smile and nod and have the conversation come to an end. She could feel the awkwardness rising between them like it had so many times before, but she had to do what she could to diffuse it. “I care about you too.”
Levi gave a short laugh. “Wow. When you want to hear something else, hearing that doesn’t feel so good, does it?”
“What?” Sammi was truly confused now. “You don’t want me to say I care about you?”
He shifted on the swing, setting it in motion briefly as he turned to face her more fully. The darkness kept her from being able to see his eyes, to see if—for once—his face revealed anything.
“I know that things got off to a rough start for us, but even that night in the bar, I felt that you were different. I don’t remember much about that night—and to be honest, sometimes I wish I did—but I do remember feeling like you actually cared. You asked about me, what I did. You seemed willing to listen to what I had to say. That was a rarity in my life. In fact, Henry was probably the only person who would actually ask how things were going for me. So, I knew that you were different, even then. The more time we’ve spent together, the more time I’ve wanted to spend with you.” Levi paused, reaching out to cover her hand with his. “I’ve really enjoyed those times.”
Sammi’s heart pounded as she listened to his words, relishing the f
eel of his hand on hers. “I’ve enjoyed being with you too, Levi. More than I thought I would, considering the circumstances.”
Levi huffed out a sigh. “I’m not great at talking about my feelings, so I just need to say it.” His hand tightened on hers. “I love you, Samantha.”
The air seemed to be sucked from Sammi’s lungs as she stared at him, speechless but still desperately needing to tell him how she felt too. “Oh, Levi, I love you as well. I was just…well, scared to tell you in case you didn’t feel the same way.”
“You really love me.” His hand came up to cup her cheek as she nodded. So gentle and caring. “I know you were hurt, so I wasn’t sure if you would be ready to love again so soon.”
“That’s the thing. It took loving you to help me see that what I felt for Jayden wasn’t love. I think I was more in love with the idea of being in love. With you, the love grew out of seeing how you functioned in the midst of adversity.” She turned her face into his palm, enjoying the warmth of his touch. “You could have told me to take a hike when I showed up on your doorstep. The fact that you listened to me that day—and even tried to feed me—started healing the hurt I’d been carrying around. It felt like you cared.”
“I did. I do.” He moved his arm to slide it around her back, pulling her into the curve of his embrace.
Sammi placed her hand on the side of his face as she looked up at him. As his lips touched hers, she was grateful that she didn’t have a clear memory of their time together before. She was glad that the memory she would have of their first real kiss would be this one. A kiss filled with the promise of their love for each other.
She smiled against Levi’s lips as she felt the rolling movement of their daughter within her. Apparently, she wanted to be part of this special moment between her parents. Tilting her head to rest it against his, Sammi took his hand to press it on her belly so he could feel the movement as well.
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