by Ana Jolene
When they got into an argument and stopped talking for months, Lennon fell into a dark phase, spending time with the wrong people. Eventually, drugs called to her restless spirit and that was when my baby sister followed my mother’s footsteps into addiction.
As soon as I learned of this news, I located her again and tried to talk some sense into her. We were falling down the same hill again and I knew that this time, we wouldn’t make it out at the bottom. I reached out to Dex, desperate for them to get over whatever it was that had split them up in the first place and bring them back together. Having Dex back in Lennon’s life would not only change her habits, but also her outlook on life.
Apparently, I had been wrong because here she was again, killing herself.
Seeing her this far gone brought on a rage that I thought I’d gotten over after all these years but it was simply in hiding, repressed by years of being away. At the sight of Lennon, thin and frail, and stubborn to the core, it made me wonder how it was possible to help someone who didn’t want to be helped.
Once again, I was at a crossroads with two options to choose from: I could run again, or I could stay.
Instinct told me to run. It was what kept me alive this far. I had done it once. I could do it again. The next time Dex came calling, I’d be sure to ignore it. I wasn’t going to throw my own life away like Lennon was.
But I had also never been a quitter.
I weighed my options. Running meant I didn’t have to deal. It also meant giving up on her.
Turning towards my baby sister, I made up my mind. “Got a spare room?”
THREE
Charmer
Two months later. . .
Seven
The weeks following Lucky’s abrupt departure were confusing, grueling, and frustrating.
Confusing because no one but Hastie and Knuckle knew why the hell Lucky had left. Or where he went for that matter. Beck and Kitt were as clueless as I was and talking to a wall seemed easier than asking Hastie to divulge details about his best friend. It was like a secret brotherhood code protected him. Whatever had happened with him, it had to be serious enough to keep such secrecy within the club. Rumors were now spreading as people speculated about Lucky’s whereabouts.
At times, it was grueling because despite being the latest member to be patched in, Lucky’s absence created a hole in the club’s dynamics. With their secretary and treasurer gone on an indefinite hiatus, Hastie had to step back in his place, resulting in unexpected chaos rather than order. Weeks had passed and there was still no sign of Lucky returning.
But most of all, it was frustrating because I had all these emotions swimming in my head and no one to spill them to. I couldn’t turn to Indy for this. She still didn’t know about the forbidden kiss that seemed ingrained in my head and would replay itself at night in my dreams. I decided that this was something I wanted to keep to myself. Voicing my concern would only draw more attention to it. And I needed to let it go and move on. But not before my mind wanted to replay the kiss in my head one last time.
It wasn’t just a simple kiss either. It was a full on, heavy petting make-out session that might’ve morphed into something much more had I not stopped it. Holy crap, where had my resolve gone that night? Did it take a leave of absence like my goddamn brain?
One touch and I was blazing. One kiss and I could no longer see why I hated Lucky so much.
Just as quick as the blaze had come on, it was doused by the coolness of my words. I hadn’t meant for them to be that slicing. But sometimes my mouth blurted things out without care of the consequences.
Lucky had drawn conclusions immediately and had blocked me out. I could apologize until I was blue in the face, but I doubted anything would’ve penetrated the haze he was in. He had left feeling confused and angry. And I still didn’t know what exactly had overcome me that night.
A sea of distance was put between us in the following week. The night of Lucky’s Tasmanian devil stunt was the first time I saw him again. But there was no time before he was storming out of Neptune’s like he was being called into war.
Fire and ice; that’s what we were, impossible to exist with each other. He and I were total opposites, unable to coincide with one another without disastrous results.
But what the hell had happened back there in Indy’s Chevelle? We certainly didn’t seem to hate each other then. Had he drank too much? Was my brain fried after the incident he had saved me from? Even after weeks of analyzing the events of that night, I still hadn’t figured out what exactly had happened.
When he leaned in to tug the hair clip from the mess of my hair, what did I feel? Desire. For a long time, hate and annoyance were the only feelings I had when it came to Lucky. So why then did I feel this lust?
This was Dylan “Lucky” Winters. Secretary and treasurer of Glory MC. Player and womanizer. Perpetual hater of yours truly.
And I had made the grave mistake of kissing him.
God, how could I have been so stupid? I sighed, knowing that this was likely the hundredth time I was thinking about this. These thoughts tended to feel rehearsed the more time passed. I kept asking myself, what if I had the chance to speak to him before he left? Would I still be here, rehashing one drunken kiss that ended in disaster?
It was better to forget. Lucky certainly had. No one in Glory MC had a clue where he was right now. Didn’t that indicate that he had officially moved on? Like smoke, Lucky had completely disappeared, leaving the club and me wondering what the hell went wrong. I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts that seemed to play like a record in my mind.
Today was another beginning of a workweek. I groaned as I lay flat on my back in bed, already feeling my thighs burn from the cardio workout I’d yet to have. As I ungracefully got out of bed, I purposely ignored the clock that told me I was running late. Ignorance was bliss, after all.
One of the major downfalls of working a regular job in the post-flare world was that you had to get up early and get your ass to work no matter what. That included being punctual, a character trait that I had never quite mastered since getting the job a year ago.
Yawning, I did my usual morning routine of showering and shoveling food into my mouth, though not simultaneously. If that were possible, it might have saved me from being late and being scolded by my boss nearly every day.
The early morning sun felt like a mid-day blaze as it relentlessly cast its harsh rays over Ward Four. A thirty-minute commute from Ward Four to Ward Two would be my first challenge of the day. But if I wanted to eat, I needed credits. Not everyone was as well-off as Glory MC was because of their Ward leader status. So regardless of the threat of sun fever, I had to go to work.
Protected by my anti-radiation gear, I grabbed my bike. Shelby was my main mode of transportation because one, a vehicle was too expensive and two, there was no way in hell anyone could drive it on the unleveled, narrowed streets of Ward Four.
I was working up a good sweat by the time I reached Giovanni’s. Located in Ward Two, it was the only work I could find that didn’t require me to grow a penis or do heavy lifting. As one could expect, the economy was at an all-time low after the flares. Finding a steady job was nearly impossible when factories and other businesses crumbled in the face of the unpredictable solar storms. As the world slowly came back from its ruin, several districts, or Wards as we called them, were created. Each Ward specialized in something. While Ward Four dealt primarily in automotives, firearms, and generators, Ward Two specialized in textiles. Giovanni’s was one of the textile factories in the Ward that had hired me a year ago when they were extremely short-staffed.
Despite the long commute every morning and afternoon, I took the job because I saw it as a blessing. The pay was decent, the people were awesome, and my boss, Giovanni, loved me because I was efficient, hardworking, and had pretty good people skills. In the year I had started working for them, I managed to climb high quickly, snagging a managerial position I enjoyed.
Even
though I was a night owl, there was something exciting about coming into work every morning. I greeted everyone with a “Good morning” as I made my way through the factory. The morning shift was already underway, working on the latest batch of orders that had come in.
I had just settled into my workstation when I noticed Toni smiling at me. “What?” I asked her as she continued to give me a goofy smile.
“Oh, nothing.” Toni was another one of the textile engineers who shared her duties with me as a supervisor and manager. We were both in charge of the entire textile factory, next to the boss, Giovanni.
I paused, eyeing her suspiciously. “What did you do?” Toni was always up to no good.
“I didn’t do anything,” she said sweetly. The sparkle in her eye told me different. The black woman could bark out orders like a queen, but she seriously sucked at keeping the guilt from her words. Fine. If she wouldn’t tell me, then I’d figure it out myself.
It didn’t take long to notice what was different. In the corner of my workspace, there was an interoffice envelope with my name scrawled over it. Snatching it up, I tore the flap open and read the note included inside.
EAT ME.
Love, Trey
I had to smile. Trey was a co-worker of ours who had made it clear about his interest in me. As a line lead, he worked primarily on the floor but would occasionally come up to the offices to chat with Toni and me.
Toni strutted to the side of my desk and peeked over my shoulder. “Soo . . . what does it say?” I brought the card to my chest, keeping it from her view. But the note was promptly forgotten as her eyes landed on the other thing in the envelope. “Oh, girl, you’re definitely sharing some of that with me.”
Inside the envelope was a massive bar of chocolate. Even unopened, the sweet aroma hit me like a slap in the face, triggering a dance off of my taste buds. I practically clawed through the packaging to get to the deliciousness inside.
One of the things that many people didn’t know about me was that before the flares, I cooked a lot. I was even enrolled in cooking school once. Whether it was baking cakes or barbequing or even just whipping up a simple omelet, I found food to be exciting. Now, because of the solar flares, the variety of food available at our fingertips was narrowed down to a small margin of delicacies.
Things like chocolate, fresh milk products, and meat were harder to come by but not impossible. Trading between Wards was usually our main food source, but there was no guarantee since dealings between Wards often soured quicker than milk.
That was why having anything chocolate at all was such a big deal. It was akin to an orgasm—they were rare and were often sought out by women. I slid out the chocolate bar and watched as Toni’s beautiful brown eyes grew large. “Holy shit,” she breathed.
Holy shit, indeed. It was dark chocolate. My favorite. I quickly peeled off the wrapper, exposing the dark squares to our gazes. Beside me, Toni inhaled deep and sighed. “He got you chocolate? How did he get his hands on chocolate?”
“I don’t care. All I know is that I have to have a piece right this minute,” I said dreamily, eyes glued on the sweet.
Toni laughed, then she started to salivate as I broke off a small piece and handed it to her. Together, we popped the pieces into our mouths, closed our eyes, and groaned in blissful unison. “So good.”
“It’s like a party in my mouth.” My mind was already thinking of the countless recipes I could make with this chocolate.
“I think you should date him,” Toni suggested as she placed another piece on her tongue and licked her fingers. “I’d spread my legs for any man who would go through the trouble of finding chocolate for me.”
“You want me to whore myself for chocolate?”
“Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad. But yes, that’s essentially what I’m saying.”
“Does Robert know you talk like this?” Toni was happily married and wasn’t nearly as old as she made herself out to be. At forty-four, the woman had the class, the looks, and the intelligence to make it in the post-flare world and strive.
“What Robert doesn’t know won’t kill him.”
“Trey’s nice,” I said, thinking of his broad shoulders and bright, penetrating eyes. “I wouldn’t mind going on a date with him.” I had had only one boyfriend in my life. My relationship with Daniel hadn’t ended well. The both of us shared a past that soon controlled everything we did. It got to the point where it felt suffocating and depressing. I made a hard decision and tried to leave Daniel, but he turned violent, threatening to hurt himself if I ever tried to leave. I didn’t know what was worse. Leaving while knowing he would hurt himself or staying trapped in a relationship I didn’t want to be in.
But that had been years ago and I was young. I wouldn’t let the fear of another bad relationship stop me from living my life.
Toni clapped her hands excitedly. “That’s the spirit, hon! You get those orgasms!”
Laughing, I spun in my chair to see the bearer of gifts at the doorway. “Hi, Trey.” I hoped he hadn’t heard the last part of the conversation but the grin on his face told me he did. “Thanks so much for the chocolate. I love it.”
“I love it too,” Toni chimed in. She winked before sashaying her hips back to her desk.
“Glad you like it.” Trey’s smile steadily built into a full-blown grin. He wore his usual uniform of black boots, black jeans, and a simple T-shirt.
“How’d you get your hands on it?”
Broad shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I stumbled upon it and thought of you.”
“Oh,” I breathed, flattered. When he grinned like that, Trey could be lethal. “That’s sweet.”
“I had to choose between milk and dark chocolate. I figured you’d appreciate dark more.”
He was right on that one. Dark chocolate required some getting used to, but it was healthier and was killer in dessert recipes. “Seems like you know me well.”
“Yeah, well, I’d love to get to know you more. Go out with me. Let me feed you.”
Well, now. How could a girl say no to that offer? Trey was just racking up points here. He was a good-looking guy. With sandy brown hair and bright, open eyes, he was the kind of guy young women would love to bring home to their parents. Normally, I kept away from men from work, finding my dalliances elsewhere. It was just easier that way, but for months Trey had been chatting me up, flirting with me whenever he had the chance.
“Okay,” I said and smiled when his face brightened. “Pick me up at eight.”
“Saturday?”
“Yes.”
“Great! See you then.”
He left then, giving me the perfect view of his ass. When I pried my gaze off it, Toni had a megawatt grin that told me she was pleased. Her hand shot out high and she nodded. “Hell yeah, girl.”
I raised my own hand up to meet her high five and dissolved into giggles.
Lucky
Mistakes often came in pairs. I realized mine when it had been nearly two months and I still hadn’t called in to Glory MC to tell them about my whereabouts. However, explaining to your club that your sister had a drug problem and was recovering from an overdose wasn’t something I wanted to do on the phone, where anyone could hear.
I liked my private life private, thank you very much.
But that didn’t mean it didn’t have to be done. I sighed heavily as I pulled out a burner phone that I had acquired shortly after setting up here. The members of Glory MC usually switched phones regularly because you could never be sure who was listening in on you or what other bugs had been placed on your phone when you weren’t looking. When you were part of a club that had a lot of enemies, one had to be careful.
The display screen blinked at me before I started to key in the numbers I had memorized. Damn, Hastie was going to be pissed as hell. Hell, Knuckle would probably cut off my balls and feed them to me for procrastinating this call. After dialing, I took a breath for courage and held the phone up to my ear.
; The first ring was scary. The second one made my pulse spike high.
“Lucky?” Lennon peered into my room. When she saw me holding the phone to my ear, she paused. “Oh, are you busy?”
The last two months had been great for her. She was steadily getting stronger, recovering quicker than I could ever anticipate, but she was still too thin. I guess one upside was that she hadn’t lost her life. Pounds you could gain back. Days, you couldn’t.
I took one glance at the phone and then snapped it shut. I couldn’t do this while she was in hearing distance. “No. Did you need something?”
The small smile that appeared reminded me of my youth. “I was just going to ask you if you wanted to watch a movie with me.”
“A movie.” Wow, it had been a helluva long time since I’d last had time to see one. “Sure. Why not.” I moved towards her and pulled her into a hug, careful not to squeeze too hard. She still looked thin enough to break. When she looked up at me, her smile was radiant and so different from the Lennon I’d seen of late. “What movie do you want to watch?”
“Reservoir Dogs.”
Right, of course. Lennon loved the violent ones.
As she set up the movie using an old DVD player that Dex had managed to salvage, I dropped onto the couch and jolted back up when something goosed my ass. My hand immediately went to the abused spot as I rubbed it, pulling free the thing that had poked me.
It was Seven’s golden winged hairpin. Of course! The fiend would always be a pain in my ass no matter where she was.
I fingered the little token that I had kept since the night I kissed her and a smile spread my lips. Despite how bad it had spiraled down in the end, I couldn’t deny that the memory was a fond one. At least until I had fucked it up and she pulled away.
“Why are you frowning?” Lennon asked.
I schooled my expression. “I’m not frowning.” This little keepsake was just a reminder of another thing I had left unfinished back in Ward Four. As soon as I figured out everything here, I’d have to go back and face Seven.