by Al K. Line
"The end comes for all humans," said Death, back to sounding dramatic and in control.
"I know that!" I snapped. "But this feels out-of-whack. Show me the ledger."
"Will not."
"Will too. You better, or I'll report you."
Death leaned forward and growled, "You dare report me? I'll make your afterlife a misery."
"It's already pretty shit," I mumbled. "I want to see you put a cross through my name for the last time. If I died, then that will be easy, right?"
"You don't own me. I'm Death, the Grim Reaper. And anyway, don't want to."
I changed tack, tried a different approach. "Look, I'm just asking is all. If you've done something you shouldn't have, I won't be mad, and I won't tell. But I am kinda busy."
"That stuff with the fae, and the Hangman?"
"Yes, that."
"Don't worry about it, he's a joke."
"Maybe to you, not to me."
"So you want to go back? You don't have to, you know. You could stay, chat with me."
"For how long?" I asked, feeling very nervous about where this was heading.
"How long? Forever."
"I knew it!" I shouted, pushing away from the table and standing.
Death stood too; the chairs and table shot up into the ashen sky and vanished.
"I just wanted someone to talk to. I thought you'd understand. Something's gone wrong. I'm not meant to be feeling these things, feeling anything. Thought you could help."
"That's very sweet and all, but I've got my own problems. Take it up with the higher powers. I can't believe this. You killed me so you could have a chat! Why me? Out of all the souls on the planet, why me?"
"Because you're the only one who understands. You've been here before, and besides... No, doesn't matter, can't say."
"What? What were you about to say?"
"Let's just say you should read your contract."
"What contract? Nobody gave me a contract."
"You should have a word with a faery. Your extra lives, it means you've spent more time here than anyone in a very long time. There's a clause."
"You mean Sasha? There's no contract. She gave me the lives, they're mine."
"No," boomed Death. "They are mine!"
"Just send me back, and sorry you're feeling down in the dumps."
"You don't know the half of it," groaned a very depressed sounding Death. He swung his scythe halfheartedly and I was chopped in two, very poorly if you ask me.
I gasped then clutched my heart, pleased to find it beating again. I lay on my patio, heart hammering, wondering what the hell that had been about.
There was a scream from inside.
An Eyeful
With no time to ponder the significance of a suicidal Death, and the dread his words had instilled in my already overloaded mind, I ran into the kitchen as adrenaline surged, Wand already out of my pocket.
"That Death guy is weird," said Wand.
"Tell me about it."
"Okay. He shouldn't give you a heart attack just for some company. And I'm pretty sure it's against the rules and—"
"I didn't mean actually tell me about it."
"Oh, right."
In the kitchen, I pulled up short as I took in the scene. Vicky's dressing gown, or rather George's, was gaping open and Juice was backed up against the fridge, ogling her.
"I didn't mean to do it," shrieked Juice, foot on the belt, clearly the reason why Vicky was baring her panties and her boobs to a transfixed Juice.
"Move your foot, you pervert," shrieked Vicky, tugging at the belt to the silk dressing gown with rose motif.
"Sorry, sorry," said Juice, still staring, and smiling. Nonetheless, he moved his foot and Vicky hurriedly covered herself up.
Just another day in the madhouse.
"Morning," I said, walking in and closing the doors.
"This guy's a total pervert," accused Vicky, pointing at Juice in case I didn't know who she was talking about.
"Morning, Arthur, nice to see you after saving me yesterday. Why no, I did not have a nice sleep. Yes, I did stay awake worrying and trying to figure this whole mess out."
"Oh, sorry. Morning. Thanks for saving me." Vicky came over and gave me a peck on the cheek.
"What happened to the pajamas?"
"I got hot so I took them off. I wasn't expecting this weirdo to try to molest me."
"I did not try to molest you."
"Did too."
"Vicky, please go and get dressed," I said with a sigh that felt all too familiar. Looked like things were getting back to normal already, which felt wrong, as no way was this the end of it.
"Pervert," accused Vicky as she wandered off to get dressed.
"Honest, it was an accident."
"Whatever." I really wasn't interested.
"What did you do to me? I woke up and here I was. You drugged me," accused Juice.
"You're a fine one to talk about drugging. Just shut up and sit down."
"Arthur, you are very grumpy in the morning. What's for breakfast? I'm starving." Juice took a seat and stared at me hopefully.
And then realization dawned. The stuff I'd figured out before Death nabbed me for a chinwag crowded into my mind and I saw red.
I finally understood exactly what had been going on. It all made sense. Or, some of it did anyway.
"You utter bastard," I shouted as I lunged for Juice with every intention of strangling him slowly and watching his eyes pop out of his annoying, skinny face.
Big Reveal
"It was you!" I accused Juice as he scrambled to his feet and tried to fend me off with the chair.
"Whoa! Dude, what are you talking about?"
"All of this, it's all been you. Don't try to deny it. Ever since Vicky and me got the artifact for you, there's been nothing but trouble. You've been a part of it all. You're behind this whole nightmare." I was certain, there was no other logical explanation, and the fact he'd always been around made it obvious.
Juice had been playing me from the very start, having some fun at my expense. Guess maybe he thought once he got his mum out of the way he could go nuts and there would be nobody to stop him. He thought wrong.
"Arthur, this is me, Juice. You know I wouldn't do that. Look," he said, sweat dripping into his eyes, his oily skin ashen, "why would I? And you know me and kids, I'd never hurt them. Never put them or their mum in danger. Plus, Vicky's hot."
"I know nothing of the sort. All I know is you've been around for it all. You're doing this. I should have known when you said about getting a bloody helicopter from my house to Vicky's that something was wrong. And you knew about the body upstairs."
"You told me. What is wrong with you?"
"I did no such thing. And even if I did, which I'm sure I didn't, that doesn't explain the fact you were around when George and Vicky were taken, you were there when I got taken by the portals, and when I came back. You set the Hangman loose, you pretended to be dead when George and Vicky were taken. You played me."
"But... but... I got taken too. I'm fucking here with you! Are you insane?" Juice was really panicking now, searching for an escape route. No way was he getting away.
He was leading me around by the nose, acting, and I would not stand for it. Everything slotted in to place and there was absolutely no way on earth it was coincidence. This scrawny, dirty, weak, pathetic excuse for a man was the reason for all this trouble. He was pretending; nobody could be this pathetic in real life. Nobody could be like this and have built the empire he had. He had men, he had money. Sure, he'd been a mommy's boy, but the way he acted was too much, too ineffective.
For a moment, as I watched this pathetic creature back up against the counter, I had second thoughts. Was I barking up the wrong tree entirely? Was I looking for someone to blame? No, it had to be him. He kept being there, involved in everything when he should have run a mile in the opposite direction. He fooled me with the death spell, and a citizen with magical artifacts, eve
n a gifted spell like that, shouldn't have been able to use it so convincingly.
"Nope, it's you," I said, mind made up. I stormed toward him, Wand held firmly, pointing at what was soon to be ex Juice. Nothing but goop and a weight off my shoulders.
"Arthur, please?" he begged, tears falling.
I loomed over the scrawny, pathetic excuse for a man as he sank to his knees, babbling and crying. Snot ran from his nose.
"Hell, have some self-respect. I'm gonna kill you, not torture you."
"But I don't want to die," he whined.
"Tough, because once you tell me what you did, and why, then I'm going to kill you. Don't worry, I won't make it long and slow, although I should. So, spill it."
"But it wasn't me. You got it all wrong."
"No, it's you, I can feel it. You are responsible. Trouble follows you around; you're like a fucking curse. Ever since you killed your mum..." I thought for a moment, and something clicked. "Shit." I panicked, the true extent of this madness hitting me. I didn't know why, or even how, but certain things became obvious.
Was I wrong about this too? No, didn't think so. It felt right, more right than it being Juice.
Juice's head turned a little to look past me. His eyes widened.
"Mum?"
I was right, and I was too late.
Pain flared across my back as the world exploded and I was sent sailing through the air, heading right for Juice. Then I blacked out.
A Tangled Mess
Consciousness returned instantly and I just had time to activate Wand and let him do the rest, putting a bubble of protection between me and Juice so I didn't crash head first into his face, although breaking his nose would have been most satisfying.
As it was, I bounced back and landed on his legs, sprawled in an undignified heap.
With no time to lose, I untangled myself from Juice's stork-like legs, still not having set eyes on my attacker.
Juice didn't move, just stared past me. I jumped up, spun, and there on the other side of the room was, as expected, Juice's mum.
"H... how are you here?" stammered Juice as he began getting up.
"Stay right where you are, you terrible child," admonished Martha. She looked anything but dead. She looked scary, all uber-sinister with dark clothes, pale face, hair hanging loose, like the perfect bad faery.
"Hey, Martha, nice of you to join us. But you didn't knock, and I don't like uninvited guests." Wand was up and flaring in a surge of ninja-like speed, and magic streamed from his eager tip as my will focused and my anger turned supernova. "You hurt my friends."
"Oh, do behave, you stupid boy," said Martha as she waved a hand and the magic dispersed, seemingly ineffective against this old woman.
"What the hell?" I gasped as Wand stuttered and the power failed. This shouldn't be possible, she shouldn't be able to do this. My hunch was right. The moment I'd realized that maybe it wasn't Juice, but someone much more powerful and it would have to be fae, I somehow knew it was her. I just knew. Sasha had said a woman had visited her in her prison in the castle, and it was Martha.
"Be quiet, you ridiculous man," ordered Martha as she stepped forward. Faery dust danced around her, and I felt her power. She was brimming with vitality and faery strength.
"Mum, I'm sorry. It was a mistake. An accident. I didn't mean to do it."
"Child, you are in serious trouble for what you did. But I still love you." Martha smiled down at Juice and held out a hand. He took it hesitantly then she pulled him to his feet. She held his shoulders and stared into his wet eyes. "You are a very naughty boy, but Mummy still loves you. You aren't to blame."
"I'm not?"
"Of course not, you silly child. Mummy just let you have the adventure you've always wanted. Was it fun? Did you get it out of your system? Have a nice exciting time?"
"Um, yeah, I guess."
"Good. Now, what shall your punishment be, hmm?"
"What the fuck is this all about?" I shouted, past caring what happened, just wanting to know why. I knew it was her, figured it out too late, but I sure as hell didn't know why she'd done any of this."
"Isn't it obvious?" she asked as she shoved Juice away and turned to me, snarling.
"Nope, not really."
"Revenge."
It was then that I noticed something in Martha's hand.
"Where did you get that?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"What, this little thing?" Martha grinned fiendishly as she held up a Teleron.
A Confrontation
"Revenge for what?" I asked, trying to keep her talking, hoping a plan would form in the interim. I had nothing.
"For so much. To teach that bitch, Sasha, a lesson, then get rid of her for good. You too, with your interfering, always causing trouble. And your vile offspring had to be dealt with, obviously. I don't want any little girls trying to get back at me when they're powerful enough."
"But why? We've never done anything to you. Never interfered in your business."
"You don't know what my business is!" spat Martha, positioning herself so she could see if anyone came into the kitchen.
"Mum, I'm sorry," babbled Juice, tears flowing like a naughty child.
"Be quiet, you idiot boy. I know you're weak, it didn't take much to implant the idea in your head, give you a few false memories so you'd try to kill me. Worked like a charm." She smiled with sympathy and a little bit of disappointment at Juice; she played him all along, just to get this to happen. What kind of a monster was she? I'd thought Juice was bad, this was on a whole other level of cruelty and spitefulness.
"You... You tricked me?"
"Of course. Do you really think you could carry out such a plan on your own? Get the Hangman to do your bidding? You belong back in the basement where you've always been. Playing your games, thinking you're in control. You're like a pet. A little, mostly human child that I can look after. My boy. My dear, darling little boy."
I didn't miss it, and neither did Juice.
"Mostly human?" he asked.
"Of course. You've been to faery, haven't you? How do you think you managed to cope there? Not go mad in minutes? You've got fae blood running through those mean veins of yours. Not much, not enough to make you like me, a halfblood, but you've got some. Such a disappointment. I wanted a girl. We could have ruled the world, me and my daughter."
"Mum, how can you be so cruel? You've been tricking me all these years, keeping me down there out of the way? That's not possible."
"Oh, it's possible all right. Your father was a fool, obsessed with his work, and he gave me a fool of a son. What else could I do with you? Let you run things? Haha, such a dim child."
"So you tricked your son into summoning the Hangman, so he'd think you were dead, so we all would? What, just to get to me?"
"Yes, and no. Mostly to get to Sasha." Martha spat her name, as if saying the word left a bad taste in her mouth.
"Why?"
"Enough talk," snapped Martha. "I'm not here to give you answers, I'm here to kill you. All of you. I had hoped to make it slow, nice and slow, make you all suffer, but you and that damn Wand made it impossible to take you to Faery, although you seemed to make your way there eventually anyway. Now I know what I've got to do, so no more playing games."
"You think you stand a chance against me, Sasha, and George? You'll lose."
"You are nothing!" Martha was getting wild. Her composure was broken and she was agitated, as if she was waiting for something to happen and it was late coming.
"At least let me get my boots on," I said, glancing quickly at the doorway where I could see the three women heading silently along the hallway. I hoped they got the message.
George nodded once then so did Sasha, and they ushered Vicky silently away from the kitchen to the front door.
Martha was pacing now, ignoring the entrance, just glaring at me and shaking her head at her son. She held the Teleron tight. I knew she could disappear any time she wanted.
Th
e front door opened, the sound of chickens squawking loud across the courtyard, and Martha whipped her head around in an instant. She snarled at me, smacked Juice around the head because he was close enough for her to vent, and then she muttered, "Come, my dear husband, he is yours." Then she ran toward the front door, me following right behind her.
I slammed into a very hard, very tall body and bounced back into the kitchen. I felt everything shift at once. Martha had used the Teleron to jump then return with the Hangman, bypassing the Wards in the blink of an eye.
Now he was in my kitchen, and what had she called him? Dear husband?
What the fuck was going on?
No time to think, as the Hangman smiled down at me where I'd ricocheted onto the floor. He held a noose by his side.
I scrambled backward, searching for the noose artifact, and shouted to Juice, "Grab the rope, it's the only way to stop him." I had no idea if that was true, but anything was worth a shot.
Juice stared, wide-eyed, from me to the Hangman, then after the retreating figure of his mother. "Husband?" he asked.
The Hangman walked toward me, so I lunged for the table, grabbed the artifact, and then, well, I had no idea how to use it to make him do my bidding. He was doing what Martha wanted, how did I get him to obey me?
"Any ideas?" I asked Wand.
"Yeah. Run."
I grabbed the rope and ran to the doors. The Hangman, chilled as always, just walked after me.
"How do I activate it?" I asked Wand.
"You can't. It's already active. Juice isn't running it, it isn't doing what he wants, it's under Martha's influence. She controls the Hangman, always has."
"You could have told me that before."
I swear Wand shrugged in my pocket. "I didn't know then. Now I do. It's obvious, she's always controlled him. Bet she made the artifact herself."
"Bugger."
"Yep."
"So?" I asked.
"So, keep running."
That's what I did.
Who Are You?
I raced out of the kitchen doors, skidded on the patio, and sprinted around the house, panic-stricken. Martha was out of her mind, but she was powerful, and she seemed pretty confident of her abilities. Husband? She was married to the Hangman? What had Sasha said? That the Hangman wasn't what I and everyone else had believed? He wasn't a manifestation of our fears, a bogeyman, but had been alive, a man. Had Martha resurrected him somehow? Damn, he'd been around a very long time. Centuries. Just how old was Martha? And half fae? This was insane.