“Sir? I don’t understand what issues I’d have that they could help me with. Last time I checked, where I was going they didn’t allow phone calls for issues,” she replied.
“What is she talking about? Where is she going?” Olivia asked.
“I’m going to prison, Olivia.”
“Prison? But she was helping,” Olivia was outraged on Violet’s behalf. Then she looked to Leo. “Can’t you do something?”
“She’s not going to prison,” Leo assured her.
“She’s not?” I barely suppressed a chuckle at Olivia’s confusion. She was looking from Leo, to Tom, to Zane, then to Violet.
“Does the big asshole over there look like he’d let her be hauled off in cuffs?”
Did Leo ever shut his mouth?
Jesus.
“You’re staying here until after the team takes out Ortega. What he wants you for makes what happened to Olivia look like child’s play. It’s my understanding a buyer has already been secured. Once the situation is secure you’ll be free to go back to your home. I think it goes without saying I’ll expect you to resign from the CIA and surrender your clearance.”
“I understand, sir,” she whispered.
Tom leveled his stare on me. “Keep her safe.”
With a nod to Zane, Tom made his way to his security detail and grouched. “Don’t know how you’re sneaking back in tonight, boys. The gym excuse has been burned. Looks like you’ll have to find a new way in.”
Tom Anderson had a love-hate relationship with the Secret Service and his inability to leave the WH grounds without a five-hour security meeting. That left Aaron and Gerald in a tight spot every time Tom demanded he leave the premises and not alert the rest of his detail. I found it amusing the most powerful man in the free world had to get permission to leave his home.
Once the door closed behind Tom and his team, Zane announced, “that was a cluster fuck.” I’d have to agree with him. Leo and I getting into a pissing match in front of Tom wasn’t kosher. “Am I going to have problems with the two of you?” Leo and I both grunted our nos. “Fucking women,” he said under his breath.
“I take offense to that,” Jasmin said with a frown.
“You shouldn’t. You’ve got bigger balls than most men I know. I’ve never classified you as a woman.”
“Your brother does,” she smiled.
Zane made his normal gagging sound before adding. “I got shit to do. Do any of you need anything from me?”
“I’ll catch a ride back with you. I think Leo needs to stay awhile so him and Jaxon can kiss and make up.”
“Piss off Jassy,” Leo scolded.
“Stop calling me that, dickhead.”
“Fucking children. I swear you all are like herding cats. Didn’t anyone ever teach you manners?”
“Says the man who drinks Knob Creek like a redneck out of the bottle,” I threw out.
“No sense in wasting a glass. Beside it keeps all you fuck nuts from drinking my whiskey.”
After another fifteen minutes of banter, Jasmin and Zane were finally making their way to the SUV. With the four of us alone, the room seemed to shrink in size. I understood why Leo was pissed and he’d said his piece, but if he thought he was going to continue to berate Violet, he was wrong. Friend or not, I’d kick his ass out of the basement. Violet had spent enough time beating herself up. She didn’t need Leo lambasting her for her to feel like shit. She was doing a good enough job of it on her own.
“What did Mr. Anderson mean when he said a buyer had been secured? Was the list sold?” Olivia asked.
“No, Tesorino, not the list. Violet’s been sold,” Leo explained.
“Oh God! You’re not gonna let that happen, right?”
Leo tucked Olivia under his arm and a tingle of something akin to envy took hold. I wasn’t jealous over Olivia, simply that Leo had someone he loved. The waves of fear rolling off Violet were palpable, yet I was afraid to reach for her and offer her comfort. Her words from earlier were like acid in my gut. Our time together had been meaningless to her.
Maybe I’d felt more than she had. Why the fuck did the thought bother me so badly?
Chapter Seventeen
Violet
Leo held a crying Olivia and the pang of jealousy I’d been feeling grew into an ugly ball of regret and self-pity. I was happy Olivia had been rescued and her and Leo had found each other, but as I watched them I realized how desperately I wanted someone to hold me like that. I’d give damn near anything for Jaxon to pull me into his arms and hold me tight. But that wasn’t going to happen. Besides, I had bigger things to worry about, namely that I’d been sold.
How the hell that even worked was beyond me.
“No, Olivia, we’re not going to let anything happen to Violet,” Jaxon answered, then asked, “how’s the new house?”
I knew Jaxon was trying to change the subject for my benefit. I had plenty of questions, but I didn’t want to ask them in front of the couple. And I certainly didn’t want to break down and cry in front of them again.
“Good. We finished unpacking last night.” Leo’s features were still hard and his tone tight.
I didn’t want the two friends arguing because of me. I’ll admit when Jaxon had taken my side and stopped Leo from finishing what he was going to say, hope had taken root. Hope that maybe I wasn’t so meaningless after all, and when he pushed me behind him I’d never felt so protected. But it was all a façade. Once again, I was allowing my emotions to color his friendly gestures.
“I’m gonna go in the other room and let you all talk in private.” There was one last thing I needed to say to Olivia, both of them really. “I hope you know how very sorry I am you got caught up in all of this. I never wanted you hurt. And just so you know, and maybe Mr. Newton has already told you this, but he loved your mother deeply. He didn’t know you were his. And if he had any inkling, I don’t blame him for not pursuing paternity. His father wanted Ms. Cox out of the picture and the baby she was carrying gone. Any questions he may’ve had was very well pushed aside to protect you and your mom. His father was not a nice man.”
I had almost made it to the bedroom door when Leo’s voice stopped me. “Were you the one in the chat room Tex found information about Olivia in?”
“Yes.”
“Were you the one that left the hole in the CIA network that pointed us to Timothy Clark?” I nodded. I thought we’d gone over all of this information. I was exhausted and didn’t want to rehash all my crimes. “And you sent the email to Peter Newton about Olivia’s kidnapping? We thought the person behind the blackmail was low-tech and didn’t know how to mask their location. But you sent them from Langley and used a proxy out of Scotland, Maryland, making sure we had Olivia’s location?”
He was correct, I had. Once I knew Olivia had been taken, I needed to find a way to inform someone anonymously. What better way than a chat room on the dark web. I didn’t need to confirm Leo’s assumptions; they were more rhetorical than actual inquiry.
“Thank you. And I’m sorry I was a prick earlier.”
“A prick? You weren’t a prick. You’re a man that is passionate about his country and loves his woman. I don’t blame you for hating me. And as far as thanking me? As Jaxon always says, there’s nothing to thank me for. Good night.”
I walked into the bedroom and closed the door. Thank God I was alone. I wished the bathroom was attached to this bedroom. All I wanted was a hot shower and to fall into bed. My gaze stopped on the rumpled-up sheets and memories of this morning and afternoon invaded my mind. Sex with Jaxon was good, better than good; it was hair on fire smoking hot. But it couldn’t happen again. There was no way I’d be able to keep my heart disengaged. I knew this because the stupid organ was already beating triple time whenever he was around. Sex with him felt different. Not that I’d ever had a meaningless one-night-stand, but I assume when a man takes a woman to bed for a quick fuck they didn’t gently kiss and caress their lover. They didn’t demand eye contact
and whisper how beautiful they were. Or maybe men did, and I had no idea what I was talking about. What I did know was Jaxon would break my heart.
There was a knock on the door before it cracked open a smidge and Olivia peeked her head in. I wasn’t sure who was harder to face - the President, Leo, or Olivia. All three of them had reason to despise me. I guess Olivia was the hardest. My actions had impacted her personally. As much as I wanted to be a coward and ask her to leave, I owed it to her to hear her out.
“Sorry to…um bother you. Do you mind if I come in a few minutes and talk?”
“Of course not.” I looked at the bed once again and my cheeks heated. Leo had already made the announcement that he thought Jaxon and I had slept together, but I’d hoped not to ever have to confirm my stupidity. “Sorry it’s such a mess.”
“It’s scary, isn’t it?” she asked.
“What is?”
“Being hunted.”
Well, fuck me, she was going to jam the knife in, pour some salt in the wound, and twist the blade.
“Again, I’m so sorry. I swear to you I didn’t know they were going to take you.”
“No. No.” She waved her hand in front of her. “That’s water under the bridge. I’m talking about what’s happening with you. All I meant was I know what it’s like to have to hide from crazy lunatics that are using you as a pawn in some fucked-up game they’re playing.”
“Oh. Yeah. I’ve been sold.” I huffed. “I think I’m in denial. I can’t wrap my brain around how you sell another human. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Jaxon about it yet.”
“Speaking of Jaxon…”
I waited for Olivia to finish her sentence, but instead of verbally continuing she wiggled her eyebrows.
“Oh no. Nothing like that is happening.” Her eyes shot to the bed, then back to me and she pursed her lips. “I mean…emotionally…or you know…like a relationship. Ugh!” I lowered my voice and leaned closer to her. “We had sex. That’s all. It meant nothing, and it won’t ever happen again.” I don’t know why I admitted we’d had sex to Olivia. Maybe it was because it felt good to say it out loud, or maybe I wanted her to tell me it was a bad idea and Jaxon was a dog that slept with everyone.
“Right,” she laughed.
“Seriously. There’s nothing between us. He’s only staying here because he doesn’t trust me to be by myself. He thinks I’ll try and run.”
“That is the worst possible thing you can do. I’m going to pass along some advice from my friend Caroline; she’s married to a big badass SEAL. Listen to everything Jaxon tells you. Do not under any circumstances go against anything he tells you about your safety. He knows what’s best. There were times when I wanted to argue with Leo. Like one time when we were hiding out in a cabin, he heard a noise and told me to get in the closet. I didn’t want to hide in the closet and I didn’t want him to leave my side. But I remembered what Caroline told me. He left me in the damn closet for like an hour while he did his badass stuff downstairs.”
“Wolf’s wife Caroline?” I asked.
“Yeah. You know her?”
“I know of her. But, no, not personally.”
I’d read the SEAL Platoons service records and I knew about Matthew Steel and his wife Caroline. I also had read the SITREP about the plane she was on being hijacked and her saving the aircraft. She was a brave woman.
“You would love her. I talk to her every once in a while.”
I’m sure I would like Caroline, only she wouldn’t like me.
“I’m sure.”
“If you need anything, even if it’s just to vent or gossip, I’m always around.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think Leo would appreciate that too much,” I told her.
“Please. He’s all bark, no bite.” I couldn’t help it, I roared with laughter. That may have been the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard.
“Hate to tell you, but I’ve read the man’s file. He has bite. Big ugly fangs, and when they come out to play I don’t want to be on the receiving end,” I said through my hilarity.
“Okay. You’re right. He is pretty protective. He won’t even let my mom near me when she’s having one of her episodes.” She smiled. I had no doubt she loved how protective Leo was. I wished I had someone who loved me that much. “He’ll come around. Besides, you’re not some shrinking violet.” She winked. “You held your own out there.”
“I appreciate your kindness. Even if I don’t deserve it.”
“Enough. You did what you thought was best. I understand. For whatever it’s worth, I forgive you. Forgive yourself and move on.”
Forgive myself? How could I possibly do that with the list still out there?
“Thanks, I’ll try,” I lied. It was easier than explaining all reasons I didn’t deserve mercy.
“I meant what I said.”
And in a move that further shocked the shit out of me, Olivia stepped closer and hugged me. I was momentarily stunned before I wrapped my arms around her. “Thank you,” I whispered and held our embrace.
I’d take the olive branch she’d extended. I may not have felt like I deserved it, but selfishly I needed it.
Chapter Eighteen
Jaxon
I hated leaving Violet alone with Jasmin at the barn, but I needed to run by my house to take care of some stuff and pick us up more provisions. I also needed to make a stop and meet with Eric and Zane. We were meeting at an offsite location. I needed to keep a low profile and if someone was staking out the office, I’d be an easy target to follow.
The last few days have been difficult. We hadn’t so much as kissed but both nights when we got into bed she’d cuddled close and tangled her legs with mine. It was the only contact she’d allow. Not that I’d made a move. After Leo and Olivia left, I sensed she needed space. However, now I was regretting giving it to her. She seemed to have used that time to fortify her defenses, which I should’ve been happy about, but it pissed me off.
We spent our time talking. It was a whole new experience for me. We were locked in a room together with nothing to do but tell each other stories about how we grew up. Basically, we talked about anything but us. It was beginning to grate on my nerves.
The problem with talking was the more she told me about herself, the more I liked her. The more I wanted to know. She was funny, kind, and smart. I knew she loved McDonalds but hated Wendy’s. She was passionate about stopping animal cruelty and had even worked with the local police to break up a dog fighting ring near where she lived. She preferred living in an apartment because she didn’t have time to take care of a yard. I couldn’t remember a time I’d known a woman I’d slept with so well. Only now, we simply slept in the same bed, yet another thing I didn’t make a habit of doing.
Today when I’d left the barn I had to fight my urge to pull her to me and kiss her goodbye. I was dying to taste her lips, dying to touch her; I desperately wanted to toss her little ass on the bed and hear her scream my name. I had taken so many showers, so I could jerk off, she probably thought I had some sort of weird cleanliness phobia.
She was driving me crazy, and the more I thought about her the worse it got. Last night, with her legs tangled with mine, I tried to figure out what it was about her that was pushing me toward insanity, but I came up empty.
I pulled up to my house and grabbed my mail and tossed in on the kitchen table without bothering to sort it. I had a bag packed with fresh clothes, making sure I brought a few extra tees for her to sleep in. It was sweet torture seeing her in my USAF shirt. Her large breasts filled out my shirt and her nipples poked the U and the F of the black lettering. My body reacted every time I saw it. Hell, my body reacted every time I even thought of her.
I locked up my house, got back in the company SUV, and wished I could bring Violet here. I wondered what she’d think of my house. When I started working for Zane, I bought an old colonial in a well-established neighborhood not far from the downtown Annapolis office. The old house was a labor of
love. I glanced at the exterior of the house and remembered when my brother Cooper had taken a week’s vacation to come help me put up the new siding and shutters. It was humid as fuck, as summers tend to be in Maryland. But the two of us bullshitting and working side by side was the best week I could remember having with my brother.
Between my combat duty and filth and scum he saw daily as a LAPD SWAT officer, there was always an underlying burden simmering just below the surface. Both of us shouldered the knowledge of evil, living a double life between the criminal underbelly and a civilized society, knowing when to slip into our roles as menacing door kickers and when to shed our true selves and only show the side humanity wants to see. I’ve yet to find a woman that could take on or would want the side of myself that’s not what’s considered socially acceptable. No one wanted to take her man to a dinner party after he’d flown home from across the ocean, with blood and dirt still under his fingernails and the stench of death still deep in his pores. Not only would no woman want that, I couldn’t ask that of anyone.
My phone vibrated, reminding me I had a meeting with Zane and Eric. The sooner this was over the better. I was getting too close to Violet. Last night in the dark, I’d almost talked myself into believing when this was done we could continue to have a casual sex-only relationship. There was no room for those types of fanciful thoughts, she deserved better than me, half of a man, always hiding my true self from her.
“Yeah,” I greeted.
“We found the Flower,” Zane clipped.
It took me a moment to realize Zane was using the nickname Benny had told us Declan’s team had used.
“No shit. How long I got until wheels up?” I asked, hoping I had enough time to swing by the barn to say goodbye to Violet.
Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Redeeming Violet (Kindle Worlds) Page 11