by Caroline Lee
She stilled, and it was a long moment before he took another deep breath and lifted his head. He looked in pain, but then, she didn’t feel top-notch either. She wanted to know why he’d stopped, but deep down she knew that if he hadn’t, she’d be in his bed right now. She admired his honor and restraint, but a part of her bemoaned it, too.
Pressing his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes again, and whispered, “You don’t have to say yes or no right now, Molly, but promise me you’ll think about it. About marrying me. I don’t want you to leave.”
It was no I love you, but it was the first, and only, marriage proposal Molly Murray had ever received. She was flattered. She opened her mouth to tell him so, but no sound emerged.
He straightened slowly, and sighed. He kissed her nose, and lifted her off of him, like she weighed nothing. “I think you should probably head upstairs, Molly. I’m not sure I can control myself around you, right now.”
That was enough to send her scurrying for the stairs, but she turned again before she closed the quilt that she used as a door. Ash was kneeling in front of the hearth, banking the fire. He half-turned, resting the poker on his knee, and found her in the darkness. “Goodnight, Miss Murray.”
She wasn’t sure if he heard her whispered reply, but didn’t think she could make herself say it louder, over the lump in her throat. “Goodnight, Mr. Barker.”
After that erotically disturbing encounter, she assumed she’d have trouble falling asleep, but she was wrong. She drifted off almost as soon as she lay down, and dreamed of giving up her goal of owning a bakery, of being stuck out on a lonely horse ranch in the middle of the Cheyenne wilderness. Of becoming Mrs. Ash Barker.
And in her dream, despite knowing that she’d settled for a man who didn’t love her, who only wanted her because she made his life comfortable, she was genuinely happy. And that was what worried her.
CHAPTER NINE
Ash woke to the smell of bacon, and had to smile. Molly hadn’t woken up early since that first morning, once Ash pointed out that she wasn’t working the early shift at the hotel anymore. But he had to admit that on occasion, it was a nice surprise to wake up to. He made a mental note to try to get up early one morning and cook her breakfast, once his arm healed, and once she agreed to marry him.
He stacked his good arm behind his head and stared at the tall ceiling. He’d never before asked a woman to marry him, and couldn’t help but think that he’d made a cock-up of the whole thing. But still, it just felt right to be kissing Miss Molly Murray beside the hearth. Holding her had felt so natural, it had been hard to stop. And kissing her? Hooo-whee! His smile grew. He didn’t think he’d ever experienced a kiss quite that hot before.
Maybe it was because he knew she was a virgin. Maybe it was because he knew she’d make such a fine wife. Or maybe it was because she fit against him so perfectly, and had melted so completely into his kiss. When their lips first met, she’d stiffened, but quickly became so involved that he almost lost control. He’d never kissed a woman who could meet him head-on like that; he didn’t have to worry about hurting her, or getting a pain in his neck from bending. And he knew now that she’d be able to match his passions.
Yep, Molly Murray was the woman for him.
He stretched and scratched at his cheek under his beard. Maybe he’d shave it before she married him. A woman ought to see what she was getting, after all.
He pulled on his jeans and shirt, but didn’t bother with the sling, or with buttoning it all the way up. As he eased open the door to the main room, and watched Molly bustling about the kitchen, a slow smile stretched across his face. God Almighty, a man could get used to such a sight. A beautiful woman making his house a comfortable place, doing all those little things women did to make a man feel good, like smiling and singing and leaving their scented soaps in the sink. Molly had made herself right at home—her sewing was on the mantel, her shawl hanging on the hook beside the door, and her spices carefully organized in one of the cabinets—and he didn’t mind at all. He hoped it meant she was comfortable enough to stick around.
She finished flipping the bacon, and went back to stirring something in a big bowl. When he straightened, the floor creaked, and she let out a startled gasp and dropped the spoon. Her eyes flicked to his, and a blush crept up her neck. She grabbed the spoon, turned slightly away, and hunched over the bowl again, stirring frantically.
He was still smiling when he reached her, and hooking his good fingers under her chin, raised her lips to meet his. It was a sweet kiss, a soft one, over before she could draw a breath, but he still saw the confused daze in her eyes when he pulled away. “Good morning, Molly. Hope you slept okay?” His whisper was teasing, but she was too bewildered to appreciate it.
He enjoyed making her so flustered, but then she surprised him by putting down the spoon and reaching up to button up his shirt. Just when he thought he had her pegged as a virginal naïve miss, she went and did something bold enough to make him think she’d been born and raised on a horse farm. Touching him in his current frame of mind was certainly bold, and he figured she’d do just fine out here in the Cheyenne wilderness.
That thought surprised a burst of laughter out of him, which drew her attention. A small smile curved those full lips, and he found himself wanting to kiss her again. So he did.
When they drew apart, she wasn’t blushing, but watching him curiously.
“What?”
“You don’t laugh very much. It’s very nice. You should do it more often.”
He chuckled and dropped a kiss to her forehead. He’d been thinking about that kiss, and had flattered himself to think she’d been thinking the same. The woman certainly kept him guessing. Life was going to be exciting with her around. “I guess I don’t have much reason to laugh out here. I hope you’ll change that.”
Hinting at his proposal brought the blush back, but she didn’t drop her eyes again, and his smile grew. “Maybe.”
His heart leapt, and he was surprised at the happiness he felt, knowing that she was considering marrying him. When had he ever felt that way about another woman? When had a woman’s feelings ever brought him joy? He wanted to shout, to twirl her around; but he appreciated her no-nonsense consideration. So instead, he just kissed her again.
A loud throat-clearing broke his concentration, and they drew apart to see Nate standing beside the kitchen table, his hands on his hips and his eyes glued to the ceiling with a long-suffering look. Molly practically jumped backwards, and hurried to pat her hair into order, although Ash didn’t see anything wrong with it. She was obviously just flustered by the kid seeing them like that. She opened her mouth to say something—explain, probably—but then closed it and looked to him imploringly.
Ash didn’t have to say anything, though, because Nate’s quipped “I’m guessing she said yes, big brother?” proved that he’d been in on the proposal. Molly whirled back to the young man.
“I said ‘maybe’, and I’ll thank you to not talk about me like I’m not here, it’s just plain rude.”
Nate’s hands rose defensively, and he grinned charmingly. “Far be it from me to upset whoever’s cooking that bacon. Smells great, by the way.”
Her feathers less ruffled, Molly pointed to the table. “If you’ll set out the dishes, I’ll have breakfast out in a jiffy.”
Ash leaned one hip against the counter, and watched her bustle around the kitchen, putting the bacon on a platter with a heaping pile of spicy-smelling eggs and poking around in the oven. Her head was still inside when Nate asked, entirely too nonchalantly to be off-hand, “So why didn’t you say yes, Molly?”
She backed out, most of her attention on the pan of sweet cinnamon rolls she held between two rags. Ash’s mouth watered at the sight. He’d only had cinnamon rolls once before, when he’d been invited to dine with the commander at Fort Laramie, and he’d long remembered the succulent little bits of sweetness. Suddenly, he was just as interested in those rolls as her response.
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nbsp; She kicked the oven door closed behind her, and crossed to the table. Carefully arranging the pan on a towel, she distractedly answered Nate. “Because where I come from, there’s a word for a housekeeper who dallies with her employer, and it’s not a nice name.”
The young man reached out and grabbed her hand. Surprised, she gave him her full attention. “They’re probably saying those things already, and they’ll stop saying them when you marry Ash.”
She tried to pull away. “There’s also a word for a servant who marries her employer.”
“Yep.” The kid grinned again. “’Wife’.” She frowned at his teasing, and Ash watched his brother’s eyes soften. “Ah, come on, Molly. We really like having you around, and hopefully you like us. Say yes to him, and stay here.”
She finally succeeded in freeing her hand, and she tucked a curl behind her ear. “And what about my sisters? Do you think you’d like having them around?”
Nate shrugged. “Life’s not easy out here, but it’s easier with more people. Having you here has been helpful, since we’re down to three hands otherwise.” He winked at Ash, who managed to not groan at the stupid joke. “And having two more sets of hands would be great.”
“Even if one set belongs to a little girl?”
“If she can learn to make soap or cure meat or tend a garden or any of the other things we don’t have enough help—or talent—for now, that’ll save Ash money in town. So yeah, it’ll be good to have more people.”
Ash noticed that Nate had mentioned “Ash’s money”, which reminded him that he needed to get working on that deed. The kid deserved to have some ownership of the ranch.
But he forgot all that when Molly turned to him, the question in her eyes. He could tell she wanted him to confirm what Nate said. So he nodded. “Right now we buy everything—including most of our food supplies—in town, which cuts into our profits. Yeah, having extra mouths to feed will cut into our profits too, but having extra hands that aren’t worried about expanding the business, and just want to help keep us alive… that’ll be real useful.” She didn’t say anything, and he got to wondering about little Annie again. “You think your sisters could handle that?”
She raised her chin. “I know they can. We’ve been surviving on our own, and doing without store-bought goods since the Fire. The girls will pull their weight, and they can help with the ranch, too.”
Seeing that Nate was finished setting the table, Ash held Molly’s chair out for her. Surprise showing on her face, she sat down, and the others joined her. As he was scooping a helping of eggs, Ash continued. “Sounds like you’re thinking about staying, Molly.”
She sighed, not making a move towards the food. Nate noticed, but was busy shoveling eggs in his mouth. Through the food, he asked, “What’s holding you back?”
She didn’t answer. Ash put down his fork. “Molly.” When she looked up at him, finally, he raised his brows. “What’s wrong? What are you worried about?”
She sighed again, but didn’t turn away. “It’s just… since I was a little girl, helping my step-father in his shop, I knew that’s what I wanted to do. And that’s what I’ve been working towards, even after the Fire took away all our options.”
Well, hell. He’d been hoping that she’d get over that goal, but didn’t know how to convince her. “And is that still what you want? Your dream?”
“Yes!” Then she took a deep breath, holding it for a long moment, and released it in a great heaving sigh. “No. I don’t know. I’m twenty-two! That’s too old to be chasing rainbows across Creation. I guess I just want a place where we’ll all be safe.”
He nodded, and took a bite of the cinnamon roll he’d served himself… and completely lost track of the conversation for a moment. He closed his eyes in pleasure, allowing the moist sweetness to dissolve on his tongue. It was better than he’d remembered, and he sighed happily. “Molly, sweetheart, I promise that if you keep baking stuff half this good, Nate and I will appreciate the heck out of it. If you want to open up a bakery,” He opened his eyes, determined to say something to make her happy. “We’ll… I dunno… ride your cakes into town every day and sell them at Bullard’s.”
She laughed aloud at the ridiculous picture, and must have been feeling better, because she helped herself to a piece of bacon and a roll. “That’s sweet, Mr. Barker, but you’re too busy here to accommodate a silly dream.”
He covered her hand in his, and when she looked up at him, he was captivated by those creamy eyes. “How about coming up with a new dream, Miss Murray? A home and maybe some kids?” She blushed, but didn’t look away. “I promise I’ll keep you and your sisters safe.”
He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he was wearing down her resistance, and that she’d say yes soon enough. He turned on what charm he could find for the rest of the day.
After that delicious breakfast—Nate and he practically had a fight over the last cinnamon roll—Molly cleaned up while they rushed through their morning chores. Then she set Nate to cutting boughs off of the scrawnier tree, since he had two good hands, while she helped Ash set up the nicer tree beside the hearth. It took a while before she was finally satisfied that it was up straight. She sent him out for snow to put in the bowl the trunk was sitting in, so the tree wouldn’t dry out too quickly, and when he returned he helped Nate drag in the boughs.
She showed them how to drape the ribbons and garlands around the tree, and they laughed almost continuously at their efforts. Nate grasped the idea quickly, but Ash couldn’t seem to do more than throw the stuff at the tree and hope it stuck; he wasn’t certain if it was his having only one arm to work with, or if he just plain lacked any artistic ability. Either way, he sure enjoyed Molly’s efforts to teach him. He made sure to kiss her as many times as he could get away with, and she didn’t seem like she minded.
When they finally stepped back and surveyed their handiwork, Ash had to admit that they’d done a good job. The tree sure was pretty, with all the red and white bows and cranberry and popcorn garlands. Before she’d let them start weaving the boughs, together, though, she brought out the cookies she’d made that morning. She’d been stirring the batter when he first surprised her—although he’d had other things on his mind beside noticing—and had baked them while the men had been out doing chores. They had cinnamon in them, which made the whole house smell delicious, and chewy raisins that were a nice surprise. She blushed when he told her how good they tasted, especially when he joked how good she tasted.
He thought her special treats—the ones that she’d promised if they’d help her decorate—were over, but not quite. After she’d shown them how to weave the boughs of pine together and tie them to the steep bannister and hang them around the mantel, she left Nate to decorate them with the leftover red ribbon and cranberries, and beckoned Ash over to the kitchen area.
She’d popped a big bowl of corn while they’d been busy, and something sweet and sticky was boiling on the stove. It smelled almost like caramel, but it dried hard, and she showed him how to pour it slowly over the bowl, while she frantically stirred and tossed the corn beneath it. The result, once it’d dried, was sweet popped corn even crunchier than usual, and delicious with some salt. Ash had to laugh at how Nate almost inhaled his first serving.
It started to snow sometime that afternoon, but they both were able to assure Molly that it was a dusting, and wouldn’t affect the train schedule or getting into town in two days. But it sure was pretty, with the cozy fire and the drifting snow. They sat around the hearth, enjoying Molly’s corn creation, and some sort of hot chocolate drink that was almost as good as coffee, and Ash made a mental note to work on some more comfortable chairs this winter. The two had always been enough for them, but with Molly, and soon her two sisters, the kitchen chairs wouldn’t be enough.
Nate challenged her to a game of checkers, and soon she was teaching the kid the finer points of chess, with some made-up pieces. Then they both decided to teach her poker, wagering handfuls of popped co
rn, and they laughed all through the afternoon. Who would have thought that a few bits of Christmas frippery could make for such a relaxing day?
Ash felt… content. Between Nate and Molly, he felt like he was surrounded by family, and while he’d never guessed that’s what he needed in his life, the thought pleased him inordinately. He felt loved. Nate was the only family he had, and he loved the kid. Molly… Molly would be his family, too, if he had his way. They hadn’t talked about love, but he wondered if that’s what this feeling of contentment when he looked at her really was.
Was he falling in love with the woman?
CHAPTER TEN
The next morning, Molly was up early. She’d hardly slept at all, thinking about Ash’s offer of marriage and what it would mean. He was the first man she’d ever considered marrying. Yes, he was the first one to ask, but more importantly, he was the only man she’d ever met that made her feel so… so content. For years she’d had her dream of opening a little bakery, and supporting her sisters, but now she was wondering if that’s really what she wanted.
Now, she was thinking that maybe, just maybe, running a household in the middle of the Cheyenne nothingness, with her sisters and a good man and his brother might be what she wanted. Maybe this was her new dream? She knew that when she thought about the future, picturing them all crammed in this cozy little house, Ash and she sharing his bedroom, made her feel warm and pleased and… right. And the thought of packing up the girls and heading to Salt Lake City and saying goodbye to Ash and Nate made her nauseated. So obviously, her subconscious wanted her to stay, and to make a life here.
But she’d always promised herself that she wouldn’t settle. She wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t love her just because it was the “right” thing to do at her time of life. She couldn’t imagine the pain it’d cause to know that her husband didn’t love her back.
Because, Lord help her, she was falling in love with Mr. Ash Barker.