I’m so shocked you could bowl me over with a feather.
She gives me a rueful look. “There are better and worse ways, don’t get me wrong. But Cole and I weren’t an ideal match when we got together. I didn’t trust him, didn’t like him. But he fit right up against me, and that was hard to argue against when my heart got involved.”
Fits right up against me. That’s Luke. He sees all my damaged, broken pieces, all my jagged sharp edges, and molds himself around them. When he’s wrapped around me, I feel whole.
“He makes me feel good,” I whisper. “Really good.”
“That’s hard to find,” Ali says, rubbing my knee. “Hang on to that.”
I’m going to try. “He might not want anything to do with me once this is all over.”
“You said you’d talked about dating, though.”
“Sure. It might just be talk.” I shrug, needing to protect my fragile heart a bit.
“I hope it’s not,” my youngest sister says softly.
That makes two of us.
“Me too,” says Hailey.
Three of us.
“He made me the best banana split ever,” I confess. “For breakfast, after we had a fight. And then makeup sex. It was really awesome.”
Hailey grins. “Cole brought me ice cream when I was having my period. Ice cream is such a good move, more men should know about it.”
“Remember when Scott brought me cupcakes to try and woo me after we broke up?” Ali leans in. “The way to our hearts is clearly through sugar.”
I think of what Luke said. Safety. “Sugar and security, maybe. We need our men sweet and tough at the same time.”
Hailey blinks. “Yeah, that’s probably true. Have you ever dated a guy like Detective Vasquez before?”
I shake my head. “Have I ever dated before? For real? No. But the men I went out with in D.C. weren’t anything like him. I didn’t know he was what I needed until he found me.”
“Need is such a powerful word,” she murmurs. “Be careful.”
“I will. I am.” I take a deep breath. “If we don’t work out, it’ll be okay. He’s giving me something amazing right now, and I will always hold that close. As awful as it’s been to be so scared—and I still am, don’t get me wrong—this has also been a weird time of getting to know myself better than I ever thought I would.”
“You’ve changed so much.”
“Not completely,” Ali hastens to add, shooting Hailey a look that says be nice. “He’s good for you, but you are good all by yourself.”
I haul my little sister into a tight hug. “Shut up, you. You’re so fucking smart.”
She giggles inside the circle of my arms. “Language, Taylor.”
I flop back on the couch, laughing. “That’s what Luke says, too. Then he threatens to spank me.”
A shocked silence follows.
I realize I’ve said too much.
And I start laughing even harder.
Hailey starts in with me, then Ali finally joins in until tears are running down all of our faces. “Sugar, security, and spankings,” she finally wheezes. “It’s the magic recipe for the perfect man.”
“I don’t need to know that about my baby sister,” Hailey says. Then she pauses. “But she’s not wrong.”
I don’t know why I’m shocked. I’ve learned so much about healthy sex in the last three years—and then even more in the last three days from Luke—that I know even straight-laced good girls like my two sisters might be into happy, kinky sex in private.
But for so long, I’ve felt like a freak with them. The dirty one, the slutty one. The whore. The fuck up.
And now my tears aren’t from laughter. My shoulders shake, and Ali wraps herself around me. Hailey grabs tissues then takes up vigil on my other side, but I can’t stop the sobs from racking my body.
After what feels like ages, they pull away, but their arms are replaced by two others. Luke is suddenly in front of me, his body warm and strong against mine. I fall into him, snotty-faced and swollen-eyed.
“I’ve got you,” he growls into my hair. “It’s okay.”
Leaving the hotel is a blur. Luke tells us about the arrest. My sisters promise they’ll be at the courthouse in the morning for support, and then he ushers me downstairs, holding my hand tightly in his.
His car is parked next to the valet station this time. No need to hide at the service entrance. He gives a twenty to the kid working there. “Thanks, man.”
“No worries, officer.”
I feel so wrung out, like I’m empty and drained.
At the next red light, Luke squeezes my knee. “It’s okay.”
I nod. I know that.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
I turn and look at him. “Pardon?”
“Would you rather go back to your place? You’re free to go home now. I was going to take you back to my place for the night, because I have food, but—”
“I don’t want to go home,” I say quietly. The thought of being in my apartment, either alone or even with Luke, fills me with terror.
I’ll have to get back on that horse, but not tonight.
Tomorrow. After the arraignment, after I know dude is going to stay in jail.
The rest of the drive to his house passes in silence. As we climb up the canyon roads, and onto his street, his private oasis on the edge of the city, a new feeling takes over inside me.
I want him.
He got me off this morning—and oh my God, was that only this morning?—but we didn’t have sex. I want us to be together, as much as humanly possible, tonight.
Smashed bits, hot breath on skin, aching muscles kind of together.
I need him.
Oh, that makes me shiver, because I can’t need another person. That’s too much, but it’s also true, and I’m too fucking tired to lie to myself tonight.
I need Luke.
When he pulls into his garage, I wait until he comes around to open my door. Once upon a time—maybe a week ago, who knows—I thought about how I could manipulate this man. Best him with hubris and sexuality.
Now I just want to serve him, to use my lifetime of seductive abilities to give him a night he will never forget.
He opens my door and I step out, sliding against him as I stand. I can feel the heat of his body, the tension in his limbs, and I tilt my head up so we’re looking at each other. Face to face, ever so close.
“Thank you,” I whisper, a slight smile playing at my mouth. Tentative. Innocent. It’s not an act, not in a bad way. Just…me, amplified. Me, dressed up for dirty play.
Me, getting a chance to be the innocent seductress I never got to be.
He strokes my cheek, brushing a strand of hair back behind my ear, and I exhale, letting my eyelids flutter shut.
He groans and his mouth crashes down on mine.
Yes.
Oh, yes. Please, more, Luke…
The car is hard against my back, but Luke cradles me in his arms as he presses against me. Hard against my front, too. I’m pinned in place, his captive princess, and my heart feels so full it hurts. His mouth trails over my jaw, down my neck, then back to my lips.
More kisses, endless kisses.
Safe, dirty, special kisses.
“Take me to bed,” I breathe, and he groans again, his cock thick and hard against my belly.
When he wrenches away from me, we’re both gasping.
I touch his face and smile before I head for the door. He follows hot on my heels, his attention burning against my back.
Inside, I set my bag down and kick off my shoes as he resets the security system. Even as he does that, I can feel his gaze keeping me in his peripheral vision.
I like that feeling that he can’t let me out of his sight again.
Way too fucking much.
Stop overthinking this. We need to reconnect. It’s been a long day. Stressful and scary, but done now. We need to fuck the pain out of our system.
It doesn�
�t sound quite right, of course. It’s probably not right.
I don’t care.
And when he turns and pins me down with the full-force of his attention, once again, I stop thinking about it.
“You,” he says, prowling toward me.
I smile. “Yes?”
“Come here.”
My heart skips a beat as he catches me in his arms and lifts me up. I wrap myself around him, tighter than tight, as he takes me upstairs.
To his bed.
We strip together, working back and forth. My top, his top. His pants, my pants. I ditch my panties as he grabs a condom, and then we’re fused together again, rolling and kissing and biting—oh God, the biting, so good—until he pins me down.
There aren’t any words for this. There’s just raw, hungry need. I need him inside me, I need his weight on top of me, and he gives it all to me.
His gaze is hot and hard as he pushes my legs apart and finds me wet. Ready. The tension ratchets up between us as he teases the heavy head of his cock through my folds, then presses deep inside me in a single, piercing thrust.
It’s right there, on the tip of my tongue. I can feel the words, and they don’t even feel wrong in my mouth. I love you, I want to say. But it’s too much, too soon, and not at all realistic.
I love the kink.
I love the friendship he’s given me.
The safe space.
I crave safety, and Luke has given it to me in spades when he didn’t need to.
Of course I think I love him. Of course I actually love him, because he is lovely. That shouldn’t be confused for long-term commitment.
And God only knows how he feels about it.
So instead of saying something, I kiss him. I give him my tongue, my mouth, my surrender. I kiss him as he fucks me hard and slow.
I kiss him as the arousal shifts inside me, from a gimme gimme feeling to something more heady, more overwhelming. To the twist and climb of an impending orgasm, where all I can feel is the size of him inside me—big, heavy, thick—and the bursts of pleasure that come with each thrust and grind.
I kiss him as I begin to shake.
As he shudders on top of me, his grip getting almost too tight, but still perfectly right.
And he kisses me back.
Fiercely.
Demandingly.
We kiss each other as we come, together, and we kiss each other long after we disentangle our limbs. We kiss until he’s ready to go again, and then our kiss only breaks apart long enough for him to roll me on my stomach. Once he’s inside me again, he finds my mouth.
Never enough kisses.
Never enough touch.
Never enough.
But we’re going to try our damnedest to fill that aching need.
All night long.
35
Luke
First thing in the morning, we go to her apartment so she can dress appropriately for court. No more leggings and tank tops, no more acres of bare, tan skin for me to tease and touch and love.
She puts on a severe-looking black pantsuit, with a simple black t-shirt underneath.
And now I have a fantasy of bringing the bossy lady CEO to heel.
She could wear a burlap sack and I’d find it filthy and full of potential.
She picks up her phone from the couch where we left it a week ago and wiggles it at me. “Now we can sext, Luke. That’ll be fun, won’t it?”
Glad I’m not the only one with dirty thoughts on my mind. “Absolutely fun. I’m looking forward to it.”
Her smile is a little too wide, a little too bright, but I can’t blame her for trying to push away the fear of what’s about to happen with a bit of play.
I’m always game for distraction.
When we arrive at the courthouse, we find her sisters waiting for her in matching suits. Together they make a formidable wall of polished socialite attitude. Nothing will fuck with the Reid sisters. Not a stalker, not the paparazzi, not the federal agents they all have good reason to distrust with every fiber of their being.
And the Feds are out in force today. Once we’re inside the courtroom, a team of federal prosecutors identify themselves to the judge and ask for standing in the hearing. Apparently while we are sitting here, another group of them are filing a sealed indictment against Newcomb related to charges around leaking the video of President Best and Gerome Lively, but for privileged reasons they expect that case to be delayed and ask that this proceeding be put on hold.
The judge is having none of it, much to Taylor’s relief. “That is a motion you can make as we progress further through this process. However, what I see in front of me today—murder, attempted murder, stalking, threats—all of that is very serious. And we will be proceeding today with a reading of those charges and entering an initial plea from the defendant. What happens in federal court is a matter for a federal judge, not for me, unless I’m directed by that judge. Do you understand?”
Beside me, Taylor exhales quietly, her eyes bright.
Her relief grows as the arraignment proceeds. The judge first refuses Newcomb bail, then accepts his pleading not guilty, and warns his lawyer that she won’t have much patience for playing games.
By the time he’s remanded back into the fine custody of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, Taylor’s cheeks are wet with silent tears.
Beside her, Ali is leaning hard on her shoulder, and on the other side of the youngest Reid sister is Hailey, glowering fiercely at Newcomb.
Nora gathers up her notes, tucks them in her briefcase, then comes through the barrier between the gallery and the lawyer’s desks in front of the judge.
“Ms. Reid?” She stops in front of us. “I’m A.D.A. Nora Vance. Today went well, as I hope you saw.”
“Yes, thank you.”
Nora glances at me, then down at where my hand is tangled in Taylor’s. Just a beat, but from the way Taylor tenses up, I don’t think she missed it.
“I have time this afternoon. I’d like to go over your statement while it’s all still fresh.”
“Of course.”
She hands over a card, like we both don’t know that I know exactly where her office is. “One o’clock?”
Taylor nods solemnly. “I’ll be there.”
We go back to the Wilshire with her sisters for a light lunch and a lot of debriefing, then I drive her to the DA’s office on Broadway. It’s stop and go traffic the whole way.
Once we’re parked, she reaches across the gear shift and puts her hand on mine. Her eyes are cool, calm. “Is Nora Vance the lawyer you dated?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” That’s it. She drops her gaze and unbuckles her seat belt.
“It was a while ago.”
“I know. You said that.”
“You remember everything, don’t you?”
“Probably.” She sighs and leans back against the head rest, her gaze sliding down the street. Into the distance. “This is going to sound weird, because of course I’m a little jealous—like a normal amount, that weird little twinge inside—but I like that you have a bit of a complicated past here, too. It’s kind of balancing.”
I laugh. “I like that take.”
“I thought you might.”
“I told her about us. You aren’t a dirty secret to me, Taylor. Or any kind of secret at all.”
“Oh.”
“I didn’t tell you about her because we had more pressing things going on yesterday, and then…we weren’t talking at all. It just slipped my mind because she’s just a colleague now. Has been for ages.”
“It’s fine.” She draws in another breath, a deep one, then claps her hands together. “Okay, let’s go upstairs so I can bare my soul once again.”
“Your favorite thing to do,” I murmur, leaning across the car to kiss her.
She rubs her nose against mine. “Only with you.”
McBride is in the waiting area when we arrive upstairs.
I sit down next to her. “
What are you doing here?”
“Ferdinand and I just had a very interesting lunch.”
“Dining with the enemy, Sarah?”
She laughs.
But she doesn’t expand.
I pick up on her hesitance and drop it. Once Nora comes out to get Taylor, I pick it up again. “What did he say that you didn’t want to tell me in front of a witness?”
“She’s more than a witness.”
A fuck of a lot more. That’s not the point. “Fine. What did he say that you don’t want to tell me?”
“He got a weird pushback from somewhere up high on our request for flight data on Gerome Lively.”
“Huh.”
“Yeah. He brought it to me, cop to cop. I don’t think he’s our enemy.”
I rub my jaw. What the fuck does that mean? “Why would they want us to drop that, when we’d drop it anyway because we got the guy? Newcomb is our guy, right? He set up the nurse from the clinic, but he wasn’t set up by someone else, right?”
“He’s our guy. Newcomb knew where the investigation was going. He had the inside track for knowing what—and who—to put in our path that would look right. That kind of insider information wasn’t really available to Lively, anyway. And actually, I was able to use the flight data to rule him out as a suspect, because he was elsewhere. The records alibi him. So no, I don’t get it. But I’m wondering if there’s something else I would see, if I watched that long enough.”
“But you can’t.”
“I can’t.” She presses her lips together, then leans in close. “But Taylor’s brother-in-law could,” she whispers. “If someone told him about this.”
When Taylor emerges from the back rooms of the D.A.’s office, she looks…different. Tired, yes, but that’s to be expected. There’s something else there, something that looks a bit like anger. The quietest anger imaginable, just a bare flicker.
But I see it.
She shoots me a look like, don’t hug me, I might break, so I fall in step with her and we head back to my car.
As soon as we’re alone in the vehicle, she explodes. “The legal system is totally fucked. Totally, completely fucked. Can I say that? No offense to you, Mr. Cop.”
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