“Fellers,” Bill says, “I want you to meet my partner.”
It was Mister Tribble, my ole chess championship mentor, who everbody says was the one that stole all the money from me in the srimp bidness way back when.
When he seen me, Mister Tribble jumped back an looked sort of like he’s gonna run off, but then he got hissef together an come up an shakes my hand.
“Well, it’s good to see you again, Forrest,” he says.
“Yeah,” I says. “What you doin here?”
“It is a long story,” he says. “But after your srimp bidness went bust, I needed a job. So I heard the governor, here, needed an adviser, an he took me on.”
“Governor?” I ast.
“Why, yes, Bill is the governor of this state.”
“Then how come you out sellin real estate?” I ast him.
“Cause it’s the steal of a lifetime,” Bill says. “Why, all you gotta do is sign here an the deal is done. An ole Mr. Tribble here, he will make his commission an profits, an we will all get rich.”
“We is already rich,” somebody says. It was little Forrest done piped up at last an said that.
“Well, then, you can get even richer,” Bill says. “Why, it is rich people makes the world go around. I love rich people. Rich people are my friends.”
Kinda sounded to me like he was runnin for president, but then, I am just a poor ole idiot. What in the world do I know?
“Now, I guess, Forrest,” says Mister Tribble, “you are wonderin what happened to all your money from the srimp bidness?”
“Well, it crosses my mind, from time to time,” I answered.
“Frankly, I took it,” Mister Tribble says. “I mean, you were away assin around in New Orleans, an when the srimp begun to run out, I figgered I’d better put it in safekeepin for you.”
“Yeah? How’d you do that?” I ast.
“Why, I purchased this lovely tract here on the Whitewash River. It is the investment of a lifetime,” Mister Tribble says.
“That’s bullshit,” says little Forrest. “This land ain’t worth a peehole in the snow.”
“Ah, now, who are you, son?” Mister Tribble ast.
“Name’s Forrest—An I ain’t your son.”
“Oh, I see. Well...”
“An what you’re sayin is, we own this dump?”
“Ah, well, not exactly. You see, I used the srimp company money just for a down payment. I mean, a man has to live on somethin. So with the exception of the one-point-seven-million-dollar loan I had to take out, you own every square inch of this place.”
“Yeah,” Bill says, “but don’t worry about the debt or anythin. After all, you know how federal savins and loan bidnesses are. They don’t care if you pay it back or not.”
“Issat so?” I ast.
“Never will, if I ever get to be president,” Bill says.
Well, after that, we took our leaves from Bill an Mister Tribble, an little Forrest is hoppin mad.
“You oughta sue them bastids,” he says.
“For what?”
“For stealin your money an puttin it in that hole of dirt, damnit! Can’t you see that place is one of them scam real estate deals? Who the hell would want to live there?”
“I thought you liked this river. You could go campin out on it ever night.”
“Not anymore, I don’t,” he says. An so we paddled down the Whitewash River the rest of the day, an little Forrest, he ain’t sayin much. It look like I am in the doghouse again.
Well, like it will happen, spring turned to summer an the summer to autumn, an the Gump & Company bidness is still goin great guns. It almost seems like we can do no wrong, an sometimes I just can’t believe it, you know? But me an Gretchen is doin fine together, an little Forrest seems to be happy as a clam—or a oyster. One day I ast Gretchen an little Forrest if they wanted to go see a football game. Actually, I first thought about astin just little Forrest, account I remember all Gretchen used to say about football was “ach!” But this time, she didn’t say no such thing.
“I have been reading about your football now, Forrest, and I’m looking forward to the game” was how she put it.
Well, it wasn’t exactly a game I took them to, it was more like a event. This was the Sugar Bowl down in New Orleans where the University of Alabama was to play the University of Miami for the national championship on New Year’s Day.
The University of Miami players was runnin all over town before the game braggin about how they was gonna whup the Crimson Tide an make us ashamed to show our faces anyplace. Kind of sounded like them cornshucker jackoffs from the University of Nebraska that we had to play in the Orange Bowl when I was on the team. But that was a long, long time ago, an gettin longer.
Anyhow, we gone on to the game, an let me say this: It was a sight! They play the game these days inside a big ole dome on fake grass an all, but they ain’t nothin fake about the game. In fact, it was a war. I had me a private box an invited some of the rinky dinks I had assed around with over the years, includin good ole Wanda from the strip joint down in the quarter. She an Gretchen got on just fine, especially when Gretchen tole her she’d been a barmaid back in Germany.
“They all just want one thing, honey—but it ain’t a bad deal” was how Wanda handled the situation.
Well, not to get to describin things too far, let me just say that the Crimson Tide of Alabama whupped them Hurricanes from the University of Miami so bad they left town with they tails between they legs, an so I finally got to see my ole alma mater win a national championship—an so did Gretchen.
Little Forrest was beside hissef—especially when they announced my name at halftime as bein one of the ole fellers present—but Gretchen, now, she like to of gone crazy!
“Defense! Defense! Defense!” was all she could shout, an lo an behole, our defense got so good it would literally snatch the ball out of the hands of them Hurricanes.
When it was over, we all hugged each other, an I could see that whatever else happened, we was all three gonna be friends forever. Which is good, account of I am always fond of havin friends.
One day it is sort of misty on the bay, an I been thinkin that now is the time for me to do my thing with ole Lieutenant Dan an Sue. Poor ole Sue.
So I got out the little ashes cans General Scheisskopf give me back in Kuwait that day, an I gone an got me my ole skiff an untied it from the dock an started to row out of the bayou. I had tole Gretchen an little Forrest what I was fixin to do an they both ast to come with me, but I says, no, this is somethin I gotta do by mysef.
“Hey, Mr. Gump,” somebody shouts out from shore. “Why don’t you take one of these new boats with the motors on em? You don’t have to row no boat anymore.”
“Aw, sometimes I kinda like to,” I called back to him, “just for ole times’ sake.”
So that’s what I done.
All through the channel an out into the back bay I could hear the foghorns of boats an bells from the buoys an things, an the sun is settin like a big ole red biscuit through the mist. I rowed on out to our new oyster beds by the sewage treatment plant. Everbody else done gone home by this time, so I got the place to mysef—an man, it shore smells ripe!
I drifted downwind a little an then pointed the bow of the skiff up a bit so’s to have some room, an where I figgered the biggest an fattest oysters would be growin I open the little cans an I begun to say a prayer that Dan an Sue was gonna be okay, an then I thowed em overboard, into the dark waters, an while I ought to of been sad, I wadn’t, somehow. They done come to the end of their journey, was the way I looked at it. Actually, I would of preferred to have a jungle to leave Sue in, but since there ain’t any around here, I figgered the oyster beds was the next best thing. After all, he’d be down there with Dan, who was his pal. I watched the tin cans sort of flutter to the bottom, an for just a moment, they kind of shined back up at me like stars, an then they was gone.
I turned the skiff around an was fixin to row back when I hea
rd a gong from one a them big ole bell buoys, an when I look up, there is Jenny settin on top of it, slowly rockin back an forth, an lookin as beautiful as ever. Good ole Jenny. She always seems to be there when I need her.
“Well, Forrest,” she says, “I guess you finally listened to me, huh?”
“What about?”
“Way back when. About payin attention to Dan.”
“Oh,” I says. “Yeah, I spose I did. Pretty good, huh?”
“Yes, I’d say it was. You just needed somebody to keep repeating ‘oysters’ to you, and finally you’d get the picture.”
“Well, I hope I don’t screw it up this time,” I says.
“I don’t think you will. Not this time.”
“You look kinda sad,” I said. “Somethin wrong?”
“Nope. It’s just this time might be our last, you know? I mean, I think you’re really all right now. An I got other fish to fry—or oysters to shuck—if you get my meaning.”
“But what about little Forrest? I thought it was all about him?”
“Nope, not really. It was always about you. Little Forrest is a fine young man. He can take care of himself. But you, you needed a little lookin after.”
“I ain’t sure he likes me,” I said.
“I think he does,” Jenny says. “It’s just kids. I mean, remember how we were at his age?”
“It’s been a long time ago.”
“Now, what about Gretchen?” Jenny ast. “How’s that comin along? You know I told you I liked her a while ago. She’s, well—she’s real people.”
“I dunno,” I says. “It’s kinda embarrassin, you astin stuff like that.”
“It ought not to be. After all, we had our run.”
“Yeah, well, not all the way. I mean, it kinda got cut short.”
“That’ll happen. Memories are what counts in life, Forrest; when there’s nothing else left, it’ll be the memories that mean everything.”
“But, is what you’re sayin is, I won’t get to...?”
“Probly, but look, you got the rest of your life in front of you. An I think you’re okay now. I don’t know how you’re gonna do it, but would you say good-bye for me to my mama an little Forrest—just in your own special way?”
“Well, sure, but...”
“I just want you to know that I loved you, and also, Forrest, you are very fine.”
“Hey,” I says, but when I looked up, they was just the big ole bell buoy rockin back an forth in the mist. Nothin else. An so I rowed on back to shore.
So I gone back into the processin plant that afternoon. Most everbody else has went home now, an I sort of wandered around by mysef, feelin a little bit alone. In a few offices I could see lights on, people workin late, so’s we could have a successful bidness.
They was one little room in the plant that I liked. It was where we kept the pearls. It wadn’t no bigger than a closet, but inside, with some tools an other stuff, we kept a bucket. Actually, it was the workers that kept the bucket, an in the bucket was the pearls.
They weren’t much as pearls go. Japanese oysters got all the nice pearls, but ever so often our shuckers will find a ole pearl or so, usually kinda funny-shaped or ugly-colored, but by the end of the year, they would usually be enough pearls that was usable for us to sell em an get enough cash for a beer bust for the shuckin an floor crews, so that’s what we did.
But when I gone by the pearl closet, I heard a odd sound comin from it, an when I opened the door, there was Sergeant Kranz, settin on a stool, an when I looked at him, settin under a twenty-watt bulb, I could see his eyes was red.
“Why, Sergeant, what’s wrong?” I ast.
“Nothin” was what he said.
“Sergeant Kranz. I have known you for many years. I ain’t never seen you cryin before.”
“Yeah, well, you won’t again, neither. Besides, I ain’t cryin.”
“Uh-huh. Well, I am the head of this here operation, an it is my bidness to know what’s wrong with my people.”
“Since when have I become ‘your people,’ Gump?” he says.
“Since the day I met you, Sergeant.” An we kind of stared at each other for a moment, an then I seen big ole tears begun to roll down his cheeks.
“Well, damn, Gump,” he says, “I just guess I’m too ole for this shit.”
“What you mean, Sergeant Kranz?”
“It was that Smitty, an his crew,” he says.
“What happened?”
“I gone down to check on our boats, an he come after me with his gang. An when I was checkin the lines on our skiffs, he begun to pee in one of my boats, an when I said somethin, he an the others grapped me an begun beatin me with dead mullets...”
“They done what!”
“An Smitty, he called me a nigger. First time anybody ever done that to my face.”
“Issat so?” I ast.
“You heard what I said, Gump. Wadn’t nothin I could do—Hell, I’m fifty-nine years old. How I’m gonna defend mysef against eight or ten big ole white boys, ain’t half my age?”
“Well, Sergeant...”
“Well, my ass. I never thought I’d see the day I wouldn’t of fought them. But it wouldn’t of done no good. I’d of just got beat up—an that wouldn’t of mattered, either, cause of what he called me—except you tole me not to get into any shit with Smitty an his bunch. I would of tried, but it wouldn’t of done no good.”
“You look here, Sergeant Kranz. That don’t matter now. You just stay here till I get back, you hear. An that’s a order.”
“I don’t take orders from privates, Gump.”
“Well, you’ll take this one,” I says.
An so I gone on down to see about this Smitty bidness.
All my life I have tried to do the right thing, the only way I saw it. An my mama always tole me the right thing is not to start pickin fights with folks, especially account of I am so big an dumb. But sometimes, you cannot let the right thing stand in your way.
It was a long walk down the street in Bayou La Batre to where the docks is, an so I spose Smitty an his people seen me comin, cause when I got there, they is all lined up, an Smitty is standin in front of the bunch.
Also, I din’t notice it, but a lot of the folks from our Gump & Company oyster plant has follered me down there, an the ones that can, are lookin unhappy, like they mean bidness, too.
I gone up to Smitty an ast him what happened with Sergeant Kranz.
“Ain’t nothin to you, Gump,” he says. “We was just havin some fun.”
“You call a gang of you beatin a fifty-nine-year-ole man with dead mullets fun?”
“Hell, Gump, he ain’t nothin but a ole nigger. Whatsittoyou?”
An so I showed him.
First I grapped him by the jacket an lifted him off the ground. Then I thowed him into a pile of seagull shit that had been collectin on the dock. An wiped his nose in it.
Then I turned him around an kicked his big ass over the dock into one of his own oyster boats. An when he landed in it on his back, I unzipped my pants an peed on him from the wharf above.
“You ever fool with one of my people again,” I tole him, “you will wish you had been brought up as a vegetable or somethin.” It was probly not the wittiest thing I could of thought of to say, but at the moment I was not feelin witty.
Just about then somethin hit me in the arm. One of Smitty’s men has got a board with nails in it, an let me say this: It hurt. But I was not in no mood to be screwed with. So I grapped him, too, an they happened to be a big ole ice machine nearby, an I stuffed him into it, headfirst. Another guy come at me with a tire tool, but I seized him by the hair an begun swingin him around an around until I let him go, like a discus or somethin, an last time I looked, he was headin for Cuba or maybe Jamaica. All them other goons, after seein this, they backed off.
All I says was “Remember what you seen here. You don’t want it to happen to you.” An that was it.
It was gettin dark by now, an all the folks
from Gump & Company was cheerin, an also booin Smitty an his collection of turds. In the dimness I got a glance of Sergeant Kranz standin there, noddin his head. I give him a wink an he give me the thumbs-up sign. We has been friends for a long time, me an Sergeant Kranz, an I think we understand one another.
About this time, I feel a tuggin at my sleeve. It is little Forrest, who is lookin at the blood on my arm from where the goon hit me with the board full of nails.
“You arright, Dad?” he ast.
“Huh?”
“I said you arright, Dad; you are bleedin.”
“What you call me?”
“I love you, Dad” was what he said. An that was enough for me. Yessir.
Yessir.
An so that’s how it ends, more or less. After the crowd drifted away I walked on down to the bayou where they is a point that looks out over the bay an the Mississippi Sound an then on out into the Gulf beyond it, an if you could, you could see clear down to Mexico, or South America. But it was still a little misty that evenin, an so I went an set down on a ole park bench, an little Forrest come an set beside me. We didn’t say nothin, cause I think it had been about all said, but it got me to thinkin what a lucky feller I am. I got me a job, a son proud an tall, an I had me some friends in my day, too. I couldn’t help but remember em all. Ole Bubba, an Jenny, an my mama, an Dan, an Sue, is gone now, but probly not too far, cause ever time I hear a big ole foghorn on the water, or a bell from a bell buoy, I think of them; they is out there someplace. An there is little Forrest, an Jenny’s mama, an Sergeant Kranz, an all the rest, still here. An I ain’t forgot what Jenny said about Gretchen, neither. An so, in a way, I am the luckiest feller in the world.
They is just one more thing to tell, an that is when they decided to make a movie of my life’s story. That is unusual, even for me. Somebody got wind of the fact that I am a idiot who has made good, an in these days it is what they call a “man bites dog” sort of story.
So one day these Hollywood producers come an inform me I am gonna be in the motion pitchers. Well, a lot of you know the rest. They done made the show, an everbody all over the world went to see it. Mr. Tom Hanks that I met in New York that night, he played my part in the movie—an was pretty good, too.
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