by Anthology
Dangerously near. She slid a leg between mine, and I wanted to yank her under me, pull her hard on top of me. Anything. Especially when she started exploring. She ran her hands over my chest, then down to my stomach, and I groaned, both happy and frustrated. I loved how she touched me, but I couldn’t risk going further.
“We have to be careful, Kat,” I said as she reached beneath my T-shirt, spreading her hand across my stomach, her fingers inching over to the waistband of my jeans. “We can’t do more than kiss.”
“Why?” she asked, in a borderline pout.
“Because. Because I’m your brother’s friend. Because I’m older than you.”
“You’re only five years older.”
“I know. But still,” I said, reaching for her hands, hating stopping her, but knowing I had to.
“I’m old enough to know what I want.”
“I know, and I want it too. But we need to slow down.”
She ran her fingers through my hair, and she buried her face in the crook of my neck, kissing my jawline, then buzzing her lips up to my ear, trying to break down my control. “Do you really want to slow down?” she whispered sexily.
No. God no. I want to slide your body under mine and bring you the most intense pleasure.
“No, but we need to,” I said, and she silenced me again with another kiss, all while running her free hand over my back, making me shudder. She was so potent to me. One hit and all I wanted was more.
“What about in a few months when I’m in New York? Would we still have to slow down then?”
It didn’t take me long to consider her question. I’d been thinking about it for the last few days we’d been together. We had a chance, an opportunity to make a go of something. She’d be in school in New York, and I’d be working in New York. Maybe it was crazy to keep this up, but it seemed crazier to let her go.
“No,” I admitted.
If a grin could be both wicked and innocent, she mastered it right then with the look on her beautiful face from my answer.
“Will we see each other when I go to NYU?”
“Of course we’ll see each other, even though my job is going to take me out of town a lot,” I told her, and she looked crestfallen. I pulled her back to me, wanting to reassure her, to let her know how much she’d made a mark on me. “Don’t be sad, Kat. I’m totally falling for you, and I don’t want to take advantage of you. I like you that much. I like you so much it scares me.”
“Don’t be scared. I don’t bite,” she said, then nibbled on my collarbone, making me laugh and making me want to find a way for us to last. I hoped she was ready for more though, especially since she hadn’t used the falling word yet. She hadn’t returned my “I’m falling for you.”
I tried not to let that bother me, wanting to give her space and time to say it, if she felt. God, I hoped she felt it.
We kept on like that for the next few days. We went to the beach at night, we worked together during the day, she even showed me a sketch for a necklace she planned to create. My time at her house was nearing its end, and we were both aware we’d have to figure out what would happen next. At the end of the week, we were at the theater again, the place where we’d first kissed and first admitted we had feelings for each other. After the credits rolled, she grasped my hand tighter, and looked me in the eyes. “Remember what you said the other night?”
“When you were telling me about a new necklace design?” I said playfully.
“No.” She swatted me lightly on the arm.
“When we discussed the merits of raccoons on film?”
She shook her head. “Not that either.”
I rested my index finger on my chin. “Hmmm, could it be the night we talked about all the places we want to see in Paris when we go there someday?”
“Not that either. But I definitely want to go to Paris with you.”
“And I want to go with you too,” I said, squeezing her hand. “So what’s the thing I’m supposed to remember from the other night?”
“When you said you were falling for me,” she said in a sweet whisper.
I nodded, my heart beating furiously fast.
She kept her eyes on me, holding my gaze as she spoke. “I’m falling for you too.”
I knew I couldn’t let this end.
CHAPTER FIVE
It was only fitting that Bruce Springsteen was playing on the sound system at the bar. He was always singing about doing the right thing, and manning up, and that’s what I was going to do right this second.
Finally.
I ripped off the Band-aid, and went for it, looking Nate straight in the eyes. “So listen, I kind of fell for your sister this summer and I’d really love your permission to keep going out with her.”
Nate’s jaw dropped, and my heart beat faster. Oh shit. He was going to kill me. He cocked his arm and started to swing. But instead, he just clapped me on the shoulder.
“Dude, you honestly think I didn’t notice?” Nate said, then took another drink of his beer. We were at a bar in the city celebrating his new job.
Now it was my turn to be surprised. “You noticed?”
He rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t keep your eyes off her whenever she walked in the room. You were always going to the movies with her. Working the morning shift. You two are so perfect for each other it kind of makes me sick, but hey, better you than any other guy.”
I wiped my hand across my forehead. “Whew. I thought you were going to be pissed.”
“I’m only slightly pissed that you didn’t tell me when you were at my house this summer. But at least you’re saying something now and I appreciate it.”
“Well, thanks for not wanting to strangle me,” I said and took a swallow of my drink.
“Just don’t break her heart. That’s all I ask. Or I will kill you,” he said, and by the tone of his voice I knew he was serious.
“I promise. I won’t break her heart.”
* * *
After I started my job in August, she visited me in the city and we became part of the fabric of New York, wandering through the Metropolitan Museum, kissing by the fountain at Lincoln Center, meandering in and out of Manhattan’s neighborhoods, touching and holding hands. I wanted more, so much more, and so did she, but we’d agreed to wait til she moved into the city, and was ready to start college.
As we strolled along a tree-lined street in the Village one weekend I told her I had a surprise for her.
She arched an eyebrow, but her eyes sparkled. “What kind of surprise?”
“If I tell you it won’t be a surprise, now will it? We’re almost there.”
“Oh!” She stopped in her tracks. “I forgot to tell you. I have exciting news for you.”
“What is it?”
“There’s a little boutique owner in Mystic who likes my necklaces. She asked me to join her at an upcoming festival in town and try selling some at a booth,” she said, bouncing on her feet.
“How could you forget to tell me that? That’s huge, Kat. I’m so happy for you.” I pulled her in close for a hug. “You haven’t even started school yet and you’re already on your way to being a star.”
“I’m hardly a star,” she said, then planted a quick kiss on my lips. “But it’s a start.”
I reached for her hand. “It’s the start of an amazing career you’re going to have.”
Soon we reached a tiny little Japanese manga shop. I’d stumbled upon this shop when I went to NYU, and it was perfect for Kat. “This is your surprise.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You want me to become a comic book fan?”
“I’m not trying to convert you to comic books. Just go in. You’ll see.”
Once inside, she was the proverbial kid in the candy store, wide-eyed and slack-jawed when she saw the display of Hello Kitty jewelry, bracelets and necklaces. Fine, it was bling. Bright, shiny, Hello Kitty bling, but Kat loved the kitschiness of it.
I smiled the whole time as I watched her take it all in. Seei
ng her happy was like a drug. I’d do whatever I could to get this reaction from my girl. “I thought you might get a kick out of it. But, you make such amazing stuff this might all seem silly to you. Especially now that you’re being recruited for your necklaces.”
She reached for me, wrapped her hand around my arm. “I love it. No matter what I make, I will always love Hello Kitty. It’s a life-long kind of thing we have going on.”
“Good. Pick anything you like.” Fine, it wasn’t Tiffany’s. I wasn’t some loaded hedge fund manager bringing her into a swank jewelry store and promising diamonds. But this was Kat’s Tiffany’s, and judging from the way her brown eyes seemed to twinkle, it was as if I’d brought her to Aladdin’s cave and she was discovering gems and rubies. I ran my hand along her lower back, unable to resist touching her. She sighed and inched closer to me as she checked out necklaces and rings. She held up a ring that she liked, showing it to me.
“Cute,” I murmured as I brushed my lips against her neck. I slipped my hand under the back of her shirt, tracing her soft skin. “You feel so good,” I whispered.
“You’re distracting me,” she said, but she moved closer too, and I was damn near ready to tug her into my arms, thread my fingers through her hair, and kiss her deeply right in the store.
The woman behind the counter cleared her throat, and that was my cue to keep it PG. Kat picked out a sparkly necklace with pink stones for the cat’s ears.
“Wait for me outside,” I told her, then went to the register to pay for the gifts.
A minute later I left the store, tucking a tiny white bag into my wallet. I’d save the gift in the bag for the next time I saw her. I asked Kat to turn around. She lifted up her hair, and I kissed her lightly on her neck, savoring that sweet sexy moment when she shivered under my touch. “I could do this all day,” I said, as I fastened the necklace.
“Put jewelry on me?” she teased.
“No. Kiss you,” I said, then dropped my mouth to her neck once more, kissing my way up to her ear, as she pressed her body against me. “I love kissing you. I’m so crazy for you. And I know this is just a little necklace, but I wanted you to have something from me. Something you liked.”
She turned around, looping her arms around my neck. “I love it, Bryan. I totally love it.”
That word burrowed into my heart, and I wanted to say it, to tell her all that I felt for her. But I kept it inside for longer, wanting to take things slow with her. She had the world ahead of her, and I didn’t want to rush a thing.
“Let’s go walk around NYU. You’re going to be there in just a few weeks.”
We wandered over to campus, and as she peered in the buildings, checking out dorms and classrooms, she had the most excited look in her eyes. “I can’t believe I’m going to be here soon. It’s going to be amazing. Did you love it here?”
“Absolutely. Every second of it,” I said. “College is everything they say it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“That it’s the time when you find yourself. When you figure out what you want. And when you have a ton of fun.”
“I can’t wait to start.”
As we reached the campus bookstore, my phone chimed with an email. I slid my finger across the screen.
“I’ll be right back. I need to see what my boss wants. I’ll meet you in the store,” I said to Kat. I clicked open the email and the subject line read Paris. I read the rest of the note. “Looks like there might be an opening soon in our Paris office. You’re fluent, right? Let’s talk Monday about this.”
Equal parts excitement and surprise raced through me. My boss had mentioned working abroad, but it had never occurred to me it might happen so quickly. Nor had it occurred to me I might be separated from Kat by an ocean. I wanted to stay, but I wanted to go.
When I found her in the bookstore, she asked if everything was okay.
“Yeah, it’s great actually,” I said because I did want this. I did want the opportunity to learn and grow in my career that was just starting. “I might be going to Paris soon. To work.”
“That’s amazing,” she said, and threw her arms around me.
“You’ll have to come visit me,” I said to see how she’d respond, even though it wasn’t fair to ask her to do that. She wouldn’t want to anyway, would she?
She pulled back to look at me, a wide smile on her gorgeous face. “You know I’d be there in a heartbeat to see you.”
And maybe that’s when it hit me. At that moment, everything came to a screeching halt with her words. I knew staying together was going to be a problem. I hated myself for knowing this. I hated myself for what I had to do. But I had no choice. This was the only way, and I did it for her.
I kissed her hard that night when I put her on the train back to Mystic, wishing it didn’t feel like it might be the last time.
I didn’t want it to be the last time. Not at all. But I knew it had to be.
Three days later I broke up with her.
CHAPTER SIX
Five years later
Bryan
As we walked along the Santa Monica promenade, the sun shining brightly overhead, my sister brought the camera to her eyes and snapped several quick shots.
“Get anyone good?” I asked when she lowered the camera.
“Oh, you didn’t notice? That was Lucien Drone,” she said, pointing casually at the man she’d just photographed. I glanced behind us and saw a squat, balding guy walking the other way. “The short dude?”
She nodded.
“Why you’d take his picture? Never even heard of him.”
“He used to be on a TV show that was popular in the 80s. Furs and Fiends. He was the skeezy pimp.”
“Gotta say, I’m glad I never saw that show.”
“I don’t even think this picture is worth anything,” she said, tapping her camera. “No one, not even the worst celebrity rags want his shot unless they’re doing a where are the has-beens now. So maybe I’ll try to sell it for coffee change.”
“How do you have time for college and taking pictures of celebrities?” I asked as we neared the restaurant where we were headed for lunch. I was in Los Angeles for business for my company Made Here that I’d started a few years ago. But I had time in between meetings to hang out with Jess. I hadn’t seen her in several months. She’d just started her sophomore year of college.
“Bryan,” she said and mimed juggling. “I’m like you. I learned from the best. When you want something, you go after it, and you juggle everything.”
“You want to take pictures of celebrities? That’s what you’re going after?”
“No. Dork. I want to put myself through college like you did. But speaking of going after things,” she said, and stopped walking to cross her arms and stare hard at me. “Are you still pining after Kat?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked with a laugh, the kind that said she’d caught me red-handed.
“The girl you told me you fell for five years ago?”
“No. Of course I’m not pining for her,” I said, adding in a scoff for good measure.
She poked me in the chest.
“I don’t even know what she’s up to,” I said, looking the other way.
“She’s making necklaces now. My Favorite Mistakes, she calls them. I don’t even like jewelry but those are seriously nice necklaces.”
I turned back to Jess, impressed that she knew. “You track her too?”
She pointed her finger at me and smiled widely. “Aha! So you are still thinking of Kat. I knew it.”
“Fine. You caught me.” I held up my hands. There was no point denying it. Breaking up with Kat was my biggest regret. Hands down, bar none. I thought my reasons were good, but nothing had come close to the idiocy of what I’d done when I left her. If I could turn back time, I would do everything over again from that moment I gave her the necklace.
“You are a world class idiot,” Jess continued, pushing her sunglasses higher on her head. “You’ve
spent five years missing her. You need to find her. You need to find a way to reconnect with her. See if she hates you. Ask Nate even. Or does he want to kill you still for breaking her heart?”
“No. He was pretty pissed at first, but he moved on and we’re still friends.” My sister knew everything about Kat. I couldn’t keep it all inside, and Jess was the only person I felt comfortable talking to about it. I spilled the beans to her after I went to Paris with an empty ache in my heart, one that hadn’t faded over those five years.
“She’s in New York,” Jess said pointedly. “I looked her up before I saw you this morning. She’s building her business. There has to be a way you can try to win her back. After all, that’s what the hero in a movie would do.”
Movies. I knew someone who loved movies. I only hoped I could find the same happy ending with Kat that Hollywood gives you.
Then I remembered the mentorship program at the NYU business school. Maybe I could get into that, and find my way back to her.
I gestured to the restaurant. “Let’s have lunch and plot a way back to the heroine’s heart.”
Jess flashed me a bright smile. “Now you’re talking.”
Kat and Bryan’s story continues in the novel CAUGHT UP IN US, a New York Times and USA Today Bestseller, now available. Read on for Chapter One. If you’d like to receive an email when my next title is available, please sign up for my newsletter.
EXCERPT FROM CAUGHT UP IN US
CHAPTER ONE
He was my first favorite mistake.
I hadn’t seen him in five years, and now as he walked to the front of the small classroom, every muscle in my body tensed, and my brain went into hyperdrive as I told myself not to think of lights going down in movie theaters or of hot summer nights miles away from here tangled up in him.
Be strong. Be cool. Be badass.
I ran my index finger across the silver charm I made when I left for college, as if the miniature movie camera could channel steely resolve into me, as it had these last few years. Even though I’d absolutely moved on. That’s why it hadn’t even occurred to me that he might be here today, even though, technically, I suppose I should have known it was a possibility since he graduated from this same business school. We even walked around this campus together the last time I saw him, as we made plans with each other, as we made promises to each other.