by Anthology
“Auntie Max needs coffee,” she said, holding the side of her head.
“Lover girl walks,” Kaylie teased. “Here. I heard you in the bathroom, so I was prepared.” She handed Max a warm mug of coffee, which only made her miss Treat even more, and then two aspirin, which made her love Kaylie almost as much as she loved Treat.
The kids ran to their playroom, and she and Kaylie sat in the living room.
“How badly did I embarrass myself last night?” Max asked.
“Well, if you call telling my husband that you once thought you were in love with him but then realized you really just loved him like a brother embarrassing, then I’d say just a little. I found it hilarious. I have never seen Chaz unable to respond to someone before.” Kaylie laughed.
Max covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, Kaylie.”
“For what?”
“For saying that. For Joe calling you to come get me. God, Chaz must hate me.” I ruined my career.
“No, he took it in stride. Actually, I think he was glad. He always worries that you don’t do anything besides work. When you went to Wellfleet, he was so happy. He said, ‘I hope she finds him and he sweeps her off her feet. She deserves someone wonderful.’”
Max covered her face. “That’s really sweet, but ugh…how humiliating.”
“Oh, stop. Your worst drunken night is ten times more tame than my tamest drunken night.”
“Thank you,” Max said. “Whether that’s true or not—and I don’t want to know either way—thank you. I guess we should get my car.”
“We already did,” Kaylie said.
“Who’s we?”
“Me and Chaz. The kids were up at, like, five thirty, so we buckled them in and picked it up. It was better than letting them wake you up, and they love to ride in the car.”
“Kaylie, you’re a godsend.”
“Yeah, well, what can I say?” Kaylie pretended to fluff her hair. “But since I was your pick-up girl, I deserve to know about this whole Treat thing. Last night you were rambling on and on about other girls and Tahiti, or Thailand, or something like that. You made no sense at all, except for the part about you leaving in the middle of the night, which, I might add, was a pretty shitty thing to do.”
“It was the only thing I could do. A guy like Treat can’t give up everything he loves for someone like me. I don’t do social calendars, jetting all over the world, and living out of resorts. And if he gave those things up for me, he’d eventually resent me for it.” I made the right choice, even if I can barely breathe just thinking about not being in his arms.
“But you know how much it hurts to be left like that, Max.” Kaylie shook her head, disappointment obvious in the look of disapproval in her eyes and the way she clenched her lips.
Max felt like she was right back in third grade, when she’d stuck out her tongue at her teacher and her father had given her that same head shake, the same baffled look.
“He did that to you and you about lost your mind, or did you somehow forget that when you were swept into the fated fantasy of love conquers all?” Kaylie left no room for misinterpretation.
“You’re a real ballbuster,” Max said.
“I’m not. I just don’t think you have to hurt people to let them know you love them.”
Max sat straight up. “That’s not why I did it.”
“Come on, Max. This is me you’re talking to. I can spot love from a mile away, and whatever it is that has you running away from him is not very different than whatever caused him to do the same to you.” Kaylie took Max’s cup into the kitchen to get her more coffee. “The only question that remains is, how do you fix it from here?”
Max met her in the kitchen. “What do you mean? It’s already fixed. I’m not letting him give up the things he loves because of me. End of story. Done.”
“Right,” Kaylie said with a roll of her eyes.
“I gotta get home and shower and change. I’m sure Chaz can use some help at work. Then I have to find my cell phone.”
“Well, don’t hurry too much. It’s already one o’clock, so he’s there for only a few more hours. Did you lose your phone?”
“One o’clock? Oh, Kaylie. I’m so sorry. You should have woken me up.” Now I’m a drunken loser, too? I better pull my shit together or I’ll have to add lost job and lost friends to keep my boyfriend company on my Things I’ve Lost list.
“Don’t be silly. Want me to call your phone?” she asked.
“No, it’s not in my purse. It’s probably in my bags at my place. Kaylie, thank you for everything. I mean it. I’ll make it all up to you.”
“No need. That’s what friends are for. But do me a favor. Please just tell me one thing. Did Treat have many women in Thailand?”
Max laughed. “Not that I know of. It sounded like he was negotiating on a resort there and then changed his mind because of me.”
“The man knows how to create a fortune, that’s for sure.”
“He sure does,” Max said in a flat voice. “You know I don’t care about money, right?”
“Yeah, I know. But it doesn’t hurt to know it’s there,” Kaylie said with a smile. “Security, Max. It does make life a little easier when you know you don’t have to sweat every dollar.”
Max grabbed her purse and found her keys on the counter. “Well, he and I won’t be doing any sweating together, so for now I’ll be sweating it out on my own.” She gave Kaylie a hug. “I fixed the rug and made the bed.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I moved the rug last night in case you barfed.”
“Oh my God, Kaylie. Anything else I should know?” Can today get any worse? Max needed a hot shower, a toothbrush, a gallon of water, and about thirty straight hours of sleep.
“Nope. That about sums up your night of debauchery. Let me know what happens with the man, and if you want to talk now that you’re sober—but after you brush your teeth—call me.”
Max smiled. “You’re the best friend ever, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know.”
TREAT AND SAVANNAH sat beside each other on their father’s couch. They’d brought him home at nine o’clock, and he was asleep by ten. Now it was nearing midnight and Treat felt like he’d been running underwater for the past twelve hours. He hadn’t heard back from Max, and he’d left enough messages that she surely had checked them by now.
Rex came in from the barn and joined them in the living room. “Where’s Josh?”
“In the shower. Want a beer?” Treat asked.
“Nah, thanks. I think we need to have a family meeting.” Rex sat in the chair next to their father’s recliner.
Josh joined them a few minutes later. “Savannah, do you want a drink before I sit down?”
“Yeah, I’ll take some wine. Red, please.”
“I’ll get it,” Treat offered. He went to the kitchen. Anything to stop the pain of staring at his father’s empty chair.
In the kitchen, he pulled Josh to the side. “You heard from Hugh?” He didn’t want to ask in front of the others, knowing it would just lead to a brother bashing, and while Hugh probably deserved it, Treat didn’t need one more thing to worry about.
“Yeah, he’s almost here. Got hung up on a layover.”
Treat put an arm around Josh. “Are you doing okay?” Josh was the most sensitive of his brothers, and he wanted Josh to know that he was there if he wanted to talk.
“Yeah, it scared me, though. I’ve never thought of Dad as someone who could get sick.”
“Me either.” Treat took a swig of his beer. “It scared me, too, but I think Ben knows what he’s talking about, and if he thought this was anything other than stress cardiomyopathy he’d tell us.”
“Do you believe in it? Broken heart syndrome?”
Hell yes. I’m afraid I’ll be in the hospital next. “I don’t know, but I do know that Dad believes he still sees and talks to Mom, and I think he just might.”
“Yeah,” Josh said. “Me to
o.”
“Wine, please,” Savannah called to them.
They settled into the living room, and for a while, they all sat in silence, nursing their drinks. Treat was surrounded by several of the people he loved most in the world, but with what his father was going through, his longing to see the others deepened: his father, Hugh, and Max. He wished Max were right there beside him, holding his hand. He didn’t feel whole without her. His hand felt empty for the first time in his life. The truth was, he’d barely noticed his hands before the last few days with Max, and now his palms had become like empty souls, crying out for her.
The door opened, and they all turned toward it with a shush on their lips.
“Dad’s asleep,” Savannah said as she went to hug her youngest brother. “He’s okay,” she said to him.
Treat embraced Hugh. “You okay? Your trip all right?” He patted the back of his brother’s leather jacket. Even though he was eight years younger than Treat, tonight he could have passed for twenty-five instead of twenty-nine with his tousled, wavy black hair that feathered over his ears, badly in need of a trim, and his Levi’s and Reeboks.
“Long, but I’m here, and that’s all that matters.” Hugh hugged his other two brothers and headed to the kitchen for a drink.
“Do you want me to make you something to eat?” Savannah asked.
“Nah. I grabbed a sandwich on the way here.” Hugh sat beside Savannah on the couch and kicked one ankle up on the opposite knee. “So Dad’s okay? What is this BHS?”
Treat explained what the doctor had told them.
“Sounds like it should be called BS to me,” Hugh joked, his brown eyes flitting from sibling to sibling.
“Hugh.” Treat used the same voice he’d relied upon when his brothers were out-of-control teenagers. It didn’t always work, but it did right then.
“I just mean that I don’t see why they call it that. Call it stress cardiomyopathy. Why does everything have to be about feelings?”
Treat leaned forward, and Savannah put a gentle hand on his leg. “Leave it alone, Hugh. Who cares what they call it? The point is, he needs to take it easy for a few weeks.”
“Which is precisely what I wanted to talk about,” Rex said. “I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should hire another ranch hand or two. I’m swamped and—”
“No need,” Treat interrupted. “I’m gonna stick around for a while.”
“You have your own businesses to run,” Josh said.
“Yeah, Treat. You’ve worked too hard to give it up,” Savannah added.
“I’m not giving them up. I’ve thought this through. Rex, you were right. I should have come home sooner. I’ll hire someone to do my overseas work and negotiating, and I’ll have to travel only a few times each month.” Just saying it aloud made him feel so much better. His dad’s illness had been a sign. Maybe Hugh wasn't the only selfish one of the group. Treat ran away to escape his own demons, and it was high time he faced them.
“Treat, man, you don’t have to do that. I can deal with it. I’ll just hire a hand or two for a few weeks. We’ll be fine,” Rex said. His biceps flexed and unflexed, much like his father’s did when he was upset.
“I know you can, Rex. This isn’t about you versus me,” Treat said.
“Is this about your girl? Max?” Josh’s question didn’t hold an ounce of resentment, as it might have if it had come from Rex.
Treat had been so scared that his father wouldn’t pull through hour after hour while they waited for the prognosis, and he spent those countless, torturous hours thinking about Max’s letter. And now, as he looked into the eyes of his siblings, he knew it was time to slay his own demons. His family deserved his honesty, and if he was ever going to try to win Max back, she deserved a man free from the weight of his past.
Treat took a deep breath, and with the image of Max’s smile guiding him, he began. “I’d be lying if I said this has nothing to do with Max. I love her. I do. I love Max, but I realized that I can’t be with her, or anyone else, until I get this off my chest. So to answer your question, this is really about all of you as much as it’s about me or Max. Rex, you’ve been calling me on this for years, and I’ve deflected every jab, not because they were untrue, as I claimed, but because they were too true, and too hurtful, to admit.” This was harder than he’d imagined. He dropped his eyes, grasping for courage. You can’t have an honest, happy relationship with a partner until you have an honest, happy relationship with yourself. Max’s voice brought the strength he needed to continue. “After Mom died, I failed you. Every one of you.”
“What are you talking about? Jesus, Treat. You never failed us,” Josh said.
“No, I did. I know I did. I never stepped up to the plate like I should have, and when it came time for college, and then after, I was relieved to move away, and as ashamed as that makes me, I need you to know the truth. The ranch was one big reminder of everything I didn’t do—everything I couldn’t do—for my family, for each of you.” He blinked away angry tears.
“Treat,” Savannah said, reaching out to him.
“Let him finish,” Rex said. All eyes turned on Rex. “He’s trying to tell us something. Let him get it off his chest.”
“Thanks, Rex.” Treat didn’t know if Rex was waiting with bated breath for Treat to admit some sort of failure, or if he was just being a supportive brother, but it didn’t matter which one was more accurate. He was thankful either way to have his brother standing up for his right to speak. “Anyway, I worked my ass off to prove that I was worth something, and I realized today that I’ll never be the man Dad is.” He pointed to his father’s bedroom. “That man in there is a hell of a man, and I’m…I’m just a regular guy who never quite measured up to him.” He’d said it aloud, and now he waited for the I knew its and the It’s about times.
Savannah’s arms were around his neck seconds later, her warm breath in his ear. “Treat, you have never let me down. You’re everything to me, and you’re every bit the man Dad is.”
“Dude, you let me sleep in your bed, for God’s sake. Dad would never have done that,” Hugh said with a shake of his head. “You’re anything but a failure. You saved me.”
“And me,” Josh admitted. “Treat, you were there every time I needed anything. You waited up for me at night and never let anyone bother me. You let me climb into your bed when I was scared, and you listened to me cry for weeks on end. Hell, you even gave me money for field trips.”
“I had forgotten about that,” Treat said with a smile. Shit. He realized that Dane wasn’t there. It would have been easier to talk to them all at once, but since he’d already opened the floodgates, he might as well let the rest pour out. He’d have to talk with Dane alone after he arrived.
Treat waited to see if Rex would say anything at all, but Rex just cracked his knuckles, leaned his elbows on his knees, and looked at Treat with a stoic face. The familiar Braden biceps dance was in full speed.
“I’m not telling you guys this to fish for compliments. I’m telling you because it’s haunted me year after year, and I don’t want it to anymore. I’m ready to put down roots, and before I do that, I need to know that I’ve been honest with each of you. Rex, I’m sorry. You were right all along.”
Rex got up and walked out the back door.
“Let him go.”
Dad. Treat spun around and found his father leaning against the stairs. “Dad, you should be in bed.”
“I’ll go back to bed when I’m damned good and ready,” Hal said.
“How much of that did you hear?” Treat asked.
“Oh, I reckon I heard all of it. All of it that mattered, anyway.”
Savannah and Treat went to his side as he moved toward the living room, and he shrugged them off. He settled into his recliner and looked long and hard at his eldest son.
Treat had never felt so ashamed. It was one thing to tell his siblings, but a whole other thing to face the man who had raised him, who had poured his heart and soul into him, and to
admit that he was a fake, a coward. He deserved everything his father was about to unload on him. He lowered himself into the chair beside his father’s recliner, never breaking eye contact, and in a shaky voice he recognized as the eleven-year-old boy who must have been buried deep inside of him, he said, “I’m sorry, Dad. You tried so hard to raise me right, and I wanted to make you proud, but I know what I am, and I was too ashamed to stay home and run the ranch with you.”
His father’s mannerisms reflected Rex’s, and for a minute, Treat feared he might walk out just like his brother had. Instead his father reached for his hand and squeezed it in his large, strong hand. Tears rose in his father’s eyes, pulling forth tears in Treat’s.
“Son, you are, and have always been, everything I ever hoped you’d be. You were barely eleven when your mama died, and barely nine when she first became ill.” Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he made no move to wipe them away.
The pressure in Treat’s chest nearly knocked the wind out of him. “Dad.” He shook his head.
“No, son. You were everything this family needed, and there has never been a time that you haven’t been.” He patted Treat’s hand with his other hand, then held his son’s hand between his own for another beat. “You see the faces of your sister and brothers? Do you see the love in their eyes? They are who they are in large part because of you. You taught them about strength and family. You taught them about love, and even when you let your little scraggly brothers in bed with you, and don’t think I didn’t know about that.” He looked at Josh and then Hugh. “You, Treat, and you alone, were giving them what I could not. The truth is, after your mama passed, she took part of me with her. I did what I could. I stepped up in every way I was able, but I’m just a man, like you and Rex, Dane, Hugh, and Josh. We’re all just who we are, and who we are is Bradens. And Bradens always do their best. Not one of my children has ever let me down.” He looked at Hugh, who had dropped his eyes to the floor. “Not Hugh when he didn’t show up for the ranch’s first auction.” He looked at Savannah. “Not our beautiful girl, Savannah, when she snuck out of the house when she was fifteen, and you, Treat, you had to haul her ass back home. And you never said a word to me about it.”