by Anthology
Second, well, let's just say she still felt more than a little embarrassed about the way she had behaved the last time she saw Jason. But, mostly, she felt guilty down to the core of her being. A little embarrassment was nothing compared to the heartbreaking fact that, in one moment of weakness, she had betrayed not one, but two, of the most important people in her life. Even now, she could not come close to reconciling her behavior that night with who she was.
Loyal. Trustworthy. Caring. That was who she was. Except on that night.
Katie took a deep breath, steeling herself as flashes from the past started flooding her mind like a slide show from Hell.
It was the night of the funeral for Nick, her boyfriend and Jason’s best friend.
Jason had come over that night to check on her and things had gotten a little out of control. A little…um…heated. Yes…heated.
They had been interrupted, but Katie had promised to meet him at the Dairy Queen at 8 a.m. the next morning. She hadn't. By the time 8 a.m. rolled around, she had been sitting in her Grandma May's sunny yellow kitchen over one hundred miles away.
She hadn’t gone to the D.Q. to know whether or not Jason had, in fact, shown up. But in her heart, she knew he had. Jason faced things. It didn’t matter if the situation was uncomfortable or awkward—he faced it head on. She had always appreciated and admired that about him.
If she could go back to that night, she would do so many things differently—starting with not running away.
A chill of awareness ran down her spine as more memories from that night populated her mind. Her body warming beneath his. His hands on her skin. His mouth on her neck. The feeling of overwhelming passion.
Then, new snippets hit her. What had come next? The footsteps on the stairs. The panic that had flooded them, causing them to spring out of bed and begin the frantic dance of pulling clothes on at top speed.
Jason's refusal to leave unless she promised to meet him. Her hurried acquiescence so they didn’t get caught. His sinfully sexy smile as he disappeared out her window.
As soon as her mom and aunt had opened the door—about one millisecond after Jason's head had disappeared from view through the window, thank God—Katie had turned around, shell-shocked, and announced that she wanted to go and stay with Grandma May for the rest of the summer.
She had thrown some clothes in a bag, hopped in her reliable, little used VW bug, and was sleeping in her Grandma's guest room by one in the morning.
Her mother brought the rest of her clothes the next weekend, and at the end of the summer, she went off to college. She never again set foot in Harper's Crossing—until now.
The flash flood of memory lane had her feeling more than a little lightheaded and slightly disconnected.
Katie moved her hands. Reaching behind her, she touched the steel solidness of the trunk, bringing her back to the present moment. Facts, she reminded herself. Focus on the facts.
Fact: she wasn’t a teenager. Fact: she was an adult. Fact: she was standing toe to toe with one very grown-up Jason Sloan. Fact: she was trembling and trying to control her rapid heart rate.
Okay, maybe not all the facts.
Even in her heightened state, the irony was not lost on her that the very person who had sent her running off to Chicago all those years ago, scampering off out of Harper's Crossing like a scared bunny—the very person she had no idea how she could possibly face again—was the very first person she saw upon her return all these years later.
Okay, she told herself sternly. Pep talk time. Shake it off, Katie. No more avoiding this. It's time to face your demons…pay the piper…walk the plank…cowboy up. It’s go time.
Take a deep breath, she reminded herself, and...talk.
Katie opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She snapped it shut. She tried again. Same result. She imagined she looked like a trout on the bank of a river, flapping her mouth open and shut for no apparent reason.
The realization of how silly she must look gave her just the extra edge of courage she needed to jump off the cliff.
Looking down at the cement driveway, she quietly began, “Jason, I…I wanted to…I need to tell you that…I am so sorry… I can’t begin to tell you how much I regret—” She shook her head in frustration. This was all coming out wrong. Why did she sound so formal? This was Jason. She wasn’t deposing a witness.
As she took a deep breath, her palms moistened as nerves bubbled up inside of her. She tried again. “I am so sorry for just…you know…how I…and then when I…”
Katie stopped herself again. Stammering like an idiot was not the apology Jason deserved. She needed to abandon her self-imposed no-eye-contact rule and look Jason straight in the eye and apologize. Because this was Jason. Yes, he might give her a hard time about it, but then they could move on past this awkwardness and get back to being them.
Gripping her fingers tighter against the trunk of the car, she braced herself for what she knew her physical reaction would be as she forced herself to look up into those gorgeous brown eyes, which reminded her of endless pools of warm and melty milk chocolate…
When she raised her eyes, the expression on Jason's face caused her to momentarily abandon her crucial apology. She narrowed her eyes.
“Why do you look like that?” she asked suspiciously.
“Like what?” he asked, his tone mirroring the arrogant expression he wore.
“So…” She paused searching for the right word. “Smug.”
Rather than answering, the corner of his mouth tilted up as he bent down, putting his mouth right next to her ear. His hot breath assailed her neck, her lips started tingling, and she began to feel lightheaded again.
Wait…was this…oh no. Panic attack #2 might very well be on the horizon.
Not in front of Jason. Please not in front of Jason, Katie begged the Universe. It seemed like the Universe must have more important things on its mind because—oh, Lord. Now the shallow breathing was starting.
Jason's breath on her neck, however, was anything but shallow. It was deep. And heavy. And warm. It felt so good. And…oh, man, that lightheadedness was just getting worse and worse.
Jason moved a slight step forward. Reaching out, he rested his hands on either side of her body against the car, effectively pinning her inside his all-encompassing stance. Her mind was screaming at her to push him away and run as fast and as far as she could. She had done it before, and it had worked. Her body, however, was sending her some very different signals.
“I'm not smug, Kit Kat,” Jason informed her, his deep voice rumbling in his chest.
“Wha…huh…?” Katie mumbled.
Jason laughed lightly. “I was just saying that I'm not smug. Just happy to know that I still get you all flustered.”
Katie didn't respond. She didn't even really hear what he said. She’d stopped trying to pay attention to the words. Stupid words. They just got in the way of listening to his voice—that silky, low voice.
Reaching up, Jason brushed a stray hair that had flown across Katie’s face. After he tucked it behind her ear, he traced his thumb down the back of Katie's neck slowly, sensuously, and then continued across her shoulder and down her arm. The work-roughened pads of his fingers grazed against her skin, causing an unwanted awareness of just how amazing his touch was.
When he reached her waist, he slipped his large hand around her easily, spreading his fingers deliberately and firmly, grasping her back with a familiarity that felt as intensely dangerous as it did erotically comforting.
His thumb began to gently massage the small of her back, sending sharp zings of electricity ping-ponging off of her nerve endings. She wanted to stop those little zings of pleasure in their tracks. She wanted to ignore, suppress, deny—anything.
Her knees began to buckle beneath her as her head spun like a windmill on a blustery day.
She needed to push him away and get some distance so she could think straight. That is what she needed to do. Any time now, a little voi
ce in the back of her head whispered. Any time you want to get a jump on creating that distance would be perfect.
That was, however, not what Katie did. No matter how hard her lizard brain screamed at her to push him away, step away, jump away, dance away even, all Katie found herself doing was looking up into his heavenly brown eyes as she melted into his embrace.
As her body brushed against his, Katie heard a low moan escape from Jason's throat, and she was suddenly hyper-aware of how close their lips were to each other. A shiver ran through her as she contemplated the nearness of those delicious, sexy lips.
Katie's breathing became more labored, but not in an out-of-control, panic-attacky kind of way. No, it was more of a body-coming-alive-for-the-first-time-in-years kind of way.
She vaguely wondered what was going to happen next but couldn't make herself focus too much on the future. Not when the present was this spine-tinglingly interesting.
Her brain might be telling her to get out of this situation, to think about the consequences, but her body was perfectly content to ride this little scene out and see where it went.
Why did it seem that she was utterly incapable of listening to her brain in any situation where Jason Sloan was involved?
Chapter Three
“Katie, you’re here!”
A familiar loud female voice shook Katie (mostly) out of the spell Jason had somehow managed to cast on her, leaving her feeling woozy and a little discombobulated.
The next thing she knew she was being yanked away from Jason by the strong, sure arms of Aunt Wendy.
As soon as she managed to wrap her head around what was happening, she was filled with joy being in her aunt’s warm, comforting embrace
“Aunt Wendy, it’s so good to see you.” Katie’s voice coming out slightly muffled as she was crushed against her aunt’s broad, sturdy shoulders.
Since Wendy stood five foot nine barefoot, no one was ever going to miss her aunt in a crowd. But Aunt Wendy was not the kind of person who hunched her shoulders and attempted to mask her height, wanting nothing more than to fit in. Quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. Wendy wore her physical distinction as a badge of pride.
In addition to her height, there was also the fact that Wendy had always loved bright colors, and that passion had bled into her clothing and hair choices.
And her personality? Katie smiled as she thought about it. Wendy's personality was as big as her frame, as loud as her voice, and as bright as her clothing.
As Katie was released from the crushing bear hug, she took in her aunt’s appearance. Growing up every day was a spin of the roulette wheel as to what Wendy's wardrobe might consist of. It was anybody's guess. Trying to predict her aunt's wardrobe was a game Katie had loved to play when she was little.
Today, Wendy’s short bob cut was colored bright red, and she wore a sunshine yellow blazer paired with a white shirt. This topped black slacks and pair of bright red heels.
Katie felt warm from the inside out. Aunt Wendy was one of a kind and she had really missed her.
“What are you doing here?” Katie asked. “I thought you would be at work.” A broad smile spread across her face as she said the words, but she was surprised to find that inside, happiness fought with disappointment at the arrival of this chaperone. Hadn’t that been exactly what she had wanted—a buffer?
“Well, honey, I am at work!” Wendy exclaimed. “And I can’t believe my peepers. Bless your heart, you’ve made it back to Harper's Crossing. You’ve finally come home, and all it took was a couple of kids gettin’ hitched.”
Wendy beamed at her niece, and Katie felt the glow of her affection and pride warming her like rays of sun.
Then, Wendy abruptly turned her attention to Jason, saying, “Come here and get in on the action, Romeo.”
And with that, Aunt Wendy pulled both Katie and Jason into an embrace, creating a three-way bear hug. Jason’s arm came around Katie’s waist as his fingers pressed into her jean-clad hip. The pressure of his possessive hold felt…good.
Oh boy, this hug was a little too close for Katie's comfort.
--- ~ ---
As soon as Katie was ripped from his arms, Jason felt the emptiness like a physical blow. He immediately missed the weight of her against his body, the warmth of her against his skin.
What the hell had just happened here? He seriously needed to get a grip.
Damn. If Wendy hadn’t interrupted them, Jason very well might have stripped Katie down, picked her up, wrapped her legs around him, and taken her—right there against her rental car—in front of God and everyone.
This was sure not how he had envisioned Katie Lawson’s homecoming—and he’d had plenty of time to think about it since the last night he saw her over a decade ago.
Not only did he have a lot of things that he needed to tell her, he also had questions he wanted answered. Not about the night she left or the years she had stayed away. Jason took full responsibility for that. He knew that was his fault. What still haunted him was her behavior leading up to that fateful night.
During the three weeks Jason’s best friend—and Katie’s boyfriend—Nick, lay in a hospital bed, lifeless and barely recognizable, Katie hadn’t said two words to Jason. She hadn’t even looked at him. He had always considered her one of his best friends—people called Nick, Katie and Jason ‘The Three Musketeers.’ Yet when they had needed each other most, she had completely shut him out. Whenever he had tried to speak to her, she would abruptly get up and leave the hospital room.
Every attempt he had made to stop her or confront her was always met with the same reaction, no matter who was in the room with him. People would always grab his arm and say things like, “Just let her go,” or “She just needs space,” or “Give her time,” or “She’ll talk when she’s ready.”
Why the hell had people been trying to protect her from him? Didn’t they know that he had just wanted to make sure that she was okay? He had needed to know that she was all right more than he needed to draw his next breath.
What really pissed him off was all of the whys. Why had he listened to all of those people? Why had he let her go? Why had he given her time?
Why wasn't she speaking to him? Why couldn’t she look at him? Nothing but questions. It had driven him absolutely insane.
From the first day he met her, Katie had never had a problem telling Jason exactly what was on her mind—and then some. So why hadn't she spoken to him—or even, seemingly, been able to bear to look at him—at the time when they had needed to lean on each other like never before?
Had Katie blamed him for Nick being in the car accident? Had she thought that Jason should have been with his friend on the late night joyride?
Or his deepest, worst fear—had she wished it were Jason lying in the bed instead of Nick?
10 Years Ago
It was after the funeral, and Jason simply had to talk to Katie. He didn’t care what anyone said. He had to find out why Katie couldn’t even look at him or speak to him—but most importantly, he had to find out if Katie was okay.
He was in the middle of trying to formulate a plan to get around all of her 'guardians' when fate struck and the Universe plopped an opportunity right down into his lap in the form of a phone call from Aunt Wendy saying that she was stuck catching up at work.
She obviously felt guilty for having to be at work—that was clear to Jason because she was talking a mile a minute. She was explaining that important issues had been neglected for far too long due to everything that had gone on in the last few weeks and that Katie’s mom was working a swing shift, so could he please go over and stay with Katie because she didn't want to leave her alone for so long?
Jason supposed that all of the explanations must have registered somewhere in the back of his mind, but in the moment, all he heard her say was 'go stay with Katie.' Everything else after that was a buzzing blur.
Jason jumped at the opportunity. He rushed to Katie's house, heart pounding and palms sweating, havi
ng no idea what he was going to say when he got there but thrilled at the opportunity to say something, anything, to her.
When he arrived, he knocked on the door but no one answered. Jason let himself in, calling out Katie’s name. There was no response. He felt his heart begin to beat a little faster as the very beginnings of fear began to flutter in his veins. He rushed upstairs to find her, struggling not to give in to the slow panic that was building with every stair he climbed.
As Jason opened the door to Katie’s room, his eyes darted to every dark corner, straining to see. Still, he didn’t see Katie, so he called her name again. He could hear the panic in his voice and he angrily told himself to get a grip.
Jason noticed a thin bar of light bleeding out below the bathroom door that opened from the far side of Katie’s bedroom, and he took two large steps across the small space. It felt like it took him an hour to reach the door, even though, in his mind, he realized it must have been no more than an instant.
He knocked forcefully on the door to Katie’s bathroom, noticing that it was slightly ajar. As his knuckles struck the wooden surface, the door slid open slowly.
Jason took a deep breath and stepped inside. He decided that he should cover his bases in case she merely happened to be wearing headphones or some other equally mundane explanation for her silence.
“I knocked and no one answered, so I let mys…” He stopped dead in his tracks.
He couldn’t finish his sentence. He saw Katie sitting in her bathtub, her arms wrapped around knees that were drawn up to her chest, her head lying on her knees and lolling to one side.
She was, if he was not mistaken, naked.
He stopped breathing, he stopped moving, he stopped thinking. He just…stopped.
Until he began shivering. He felt the chill in the air and realized that the temperature in the house must be in the fifties, if not below. He felt air blasting out of all of the vents.
“Katie,” Jason said firmly, trying to get her attention. “Katie.” he tried again, his voice even louder and more insistent, but she didn’t move. Didn’t even open her eyes. He walked slowly to the tub and knelt down next to it. He touched the top of her head and realized that the wet strands of golden hair atop her head were ice cold.