by Anthology
Chapter Seventeen
Katie’s muscles felt like they had melted on the drive up to Whisper Lake. Like she was floating on a cloud. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she had been this relaxed. She and Jason were riding in companionable silence, his music was playing low in the background, and she was watching the beautiful and increasingly tree-lined scenery that was so familiar to her.
Katie used the time to reflect on how things were going this weekend, particularly with Jason. She had felt so overwhelmed when she hugged him. On the one hand, it had felt really good to be in his arms—safe and right. On the other hand, she had absolutely no idea what had possessed her to hug him in the first place, and that made her feel dangerously out of control.
She had just suddenly had this overwhelming desire to hold him—and she went with it. Which was not like her at all.
Jason had always been her friend. Nothing more. Well, until the night that all changed. Still, Katie couldn’t understand—why was she was feeling so much for him now?
The feelings she’d been having since she’d heard his voice from behind her on the driveway two days ago were not of the friendly variety. That much she could admit to.
Then, because she certainly didn’t feel ready to dwell on why she felt that way, she decided to try to move on and piece together the night before.
Like any good mystery, she started with what the parts of the puzzle she knew as fact and figured she would expand from there.
The shots. Feeling sick. Getting drinks spilled on her. Locking herself in the bathroom. Jason coming in. Jason taking off his shirt—whoa, okay, that was a new one.
Katie vaguely remembered the sensation of being carried by him. Then leaning her head against his window. Then she started to remember being mad at Jason.
Wait.
Why was she mad at him again?
Why did the girls’ faces from last night’s debauchery pop into her head when she thought about Jason?
Oh. Yeah, that’s right. The girls had done shots because they had all done various naughty things in Jason’s truck. In fact, as the night had gone on, the girls who Jason had fooled around with made it a running joke to add ‘in a black Chevy truck’ each time they took out a question that had a sexual nature to it. It had been really irritating.
But then…why didn't she feel mad again right now when she remembered the truck adventures? Wait—she seemed to remember Jason saying he hadn’t done anything with any of those girls.
Why would he deny it? Everyone knew how he was. His nickname was Romeo.
Better get to the bottom of this.
“Jas, do you remember last night when I told you why I had taken all those shots?” She saw his hands grip the steering wheel and his posture stiffen.
“Yep, Kit Kat. I wasn’t the one who was smashed,” he said tightly.
“Whatever. Anyways, did you happen to tell me that you didn’t do anything with Lisa, Elena, Kylie, or Tiffany?”
Katie watched as Jason nodded his head in the affirmative but remained silent.
Okay…
Talking out loud, Katie reasoned, “That’s so weird. Why would those girls lie about that? It’s not like they were trying to impress someone. We’re not in high school anymore. I mean, we're pushing thirty.”
She waited for Jason to reply, but there was no response from the peanut gallery.
“I mean, they had to be lying though, right? Because if they're not lying, that means that you're lying. And you don't lie.”
Nothing. Crickets.
Shaking her head, she tried to clear the fog that was in her brain. She felt like this was some kind of Sudoku puzzle of drunkenness. It would all come together if she could just find the one missing piece.
If she wasn’t mistaken, her silent travel companion held that piece.
“Fine.” She tried another angle. “So let’s say they weren’t lying. Maybe you let someone use your truck.”
Silence. He did, however, shoot her a look that told her in no uncertain terms that theory was crazy.
“Right,” Katie agreed with his unspoken criticism. “Neither you or Nick would ever let anyone else drive your trucks.”
She stared at Jason’s profile, hoping he would fill in the blanks for her, but it seemed that he was going to remain tight-lipped on this topic.
Although Jason certainly wasn’t verbally offering any new insights, he wasn’t exactly not communicating with her. His body language was screaming for her to drop it. But, she just couldn’t bring herself to let it go. Something just wasn’t adding up.
Man, she wished she hadn't drunk so much last night. It would be so much easier to figure all of this out if she didn’t still have 'mush brain' from last night's overindulgence. Facts. She just needed to stick to the facts.
“Okay, so let's begin with the basic building blocks of what we know. The girls said they had several 'experiences' in the cab or bed of a black Chevy truck parked at Pickler Field. They have no reason to lie. So let’s proceed on the assumption that they are, in fact, telling the truth.”
She waited to see if Jason would at least give her a nod of agreement, since apparently the cat had his tongue. But no. Not even the smallest gesture of encouragement.
Fine, then. She didn’t need him. She could do this all by her lonesome.
“You told me that you never did anything with those girls, either in or out of your truck, and I know you don’t lie.”
An uneasy sensation came over her as she watched Jason adjust his grip on the steering wheel. She had a feeling that if she pursued this, she would be passing a point she couldn't come back from. She would be opening up a strange new can of worms that could never be closed. Could she face whatever was at the end of her yellow brick road of hoochies?
Grandpa J’s voice sounded in her head. “Better an ugly truth than a beautiful lie.”
She couldn’t count the number of times she’d heard him say that over the years. Maybe she should just face this. Whatever this was.
Honestly, Katie knew that none of this would be bothering her so much if the girls hadn’t been giving her the strangest looks when they offered up their answers. It was such a weird vibe they were sending, and she just couldn’t shake it.
She continued building her logic, taking strength from Grandpa J’s words of wisdom.
“And you and Nick were the only two with black trucks.”
Oh no. It couldn’t be… Nick would never. A sick feeling welled up in her stomach.
Katie spoke slowly, trying not to jump to any conclusions, even though her brain was currently hopping like a bunny on the conclusion trampoline. “So if you didn’t do anything, then…wait. Are you saying that Nick did all of those things with those girls?! That it was his truck? Are you saying Nick cheated on me?”
“I’m not saying anything. I haven’t said a word during this entire investigation, Sherlock. That’s all you.” Jason said through a forced laugh.
Katie spun around at the tone in Jason’s voice. He sounded more than a little mad.
Why would he be mad?
“Jason, I’m serious. Tell me. Is that what happened. Did Nick cheat on me?” She couldn’t believe those words had actually just come out of her mouth.
She waited, but Jason didn’t reply. He just stared straight ahead.
“Jason. Answer me. Did. Nick. Cheat. On. Me?” Although she was striving to stay calm, she heard the strain coming through in her voice.
“Katie, it was a long time ago,” Jason said, his jaw tense. “Just leave it alone.”
“Seriously. You know that’s not going to happen.” She could not believe that he wasn’t answering her. Why wouldn’t he just put her out of her misery? Was this some kind of a sick joke to him? “This isn’t a joke. It’s not funny. Come on, Jason, tell me! Did he?”
“It’s not my place to say.” Jason set his jaw in that stubborn way he had, and Katie could tell that he had no plans to tell her anything. Frustration bubbled up
inside of her like lava ready to erupt from a volcano.
“What are you talking about? Of course it is. You were Nick’s best friend and my…my…” her voice trailed off as she lost some of the steam powering her locomotive of indignation.
Jason took his soulful brown eyes off the road, briefly, to meet her gaze.
“I was your what?” he asked pointedly. His voice was low, harsh—almost dangerous in its intensity.
Hello!
At the tone of Jason's words, she felt a jolt…below the belt.
Wow, she must be losing her mind. Only a crazy person would get turned on in the middle of this conversation.
Katie’s breathing was starting to get labored, and her head was spinning. Perfect, just perfect. She was about to have a panic attack.
No. There was no way she was going to let that happen. Not before she got some answers, at least. She opened her mouth to speak but Jason beat her to it.
“I was your what, Katie?” he asked again, this time without the same edge to his voice, but with a lot more melancholy.
“You were my…you are my…” Katie hesitated, doing a Google search of her mind for the right words. She didn't know how to explain, how to make it clear, everything that Jason was to her.
Growing up she’d always just thought of Jason as her best friend. He’d teased her mercilessly and never showed any interest in her. She’d honestly never thought that she had deeper feelings for him. Yes, there had been the brief kiss, her first kiss, at Chelle’s birthday party when they were eleven, but he’d treated her like she’d had the plague after that. He’d avoided her the rest of the summer.
Then, Nick had moved next door and Katie had put any confusion she’d had over her lip lock with Jas out of her mind. Katie had always compartmentalized things. Nick was her boyfriend. Jason was her friend.
The roles that Nick and Jason had played in her life had never confused her until the night of the accident. Since that night, things had not been so black and white for Katie.
At a loss of what else to say Katie opened her mouth and said, “You’re my…Jason.”
---~--
Hearing Katie describe him as ‘her Jason,’ caused emotion to well up in Jason like he’d never felt before. It was painful and constricting. Her words had reached inside his chest and squeezed it like a lemon.
She wanted to know the truth about Nick. It broke Jason’s heart to think that he was going to be the one to tell her this, but, at this point, he figured it was like ripping off a Band-Aid—quick and fast was the best way.
“Yes, Nick cheated on you,” he stated matter-of-factly. He waited for her to cry, to yell, to do…something.
But she just stared at him. He could feel her crystal blue stare locked on him like a heat seeking missile. Jason waited, knowing that this was Katie and she would need time to process.
“And you knew. The whole time,” her tone was even. It was more of a statement of fact than a question.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Katie asked in barely a whisper.
Jason raked his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. He really did not want to be having this conversation with her. After returning his hand to the wheel, his fingers opened and closed over the hard plastic.
“Because, Katie, it was complicated.” Jason knew that no way was she going to let him off with that explanation, but he really had no idea what else to say.
“How 'complicated' is it to say, ‘Hey, Katie, you know Nick has slept with half the female population of Harper’s Crossing?' Doesn't seem that complicated to me.”
Glancing over, Jason saw that those big blue eyes he loved so much had fury beneath their surface and it was all directed at him. Shit, talk about shooting the messenger. If looks could kill, Jason would have been a man down.
Screw it. He figured he might as well start at the beginning. It would be the only way she might even sort of understand.
“Remember the summer between freshman and sophomore year that you spent at your Grandma’s in Chicago?”
“Yes. Nick and I talked every day,” Katie said. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her blond head nodding, but her tone sounded borderline defensive.
“Well, one night about a week before you came home, we went to a party at David Price’s house and we drank—a lot. I left with Krissy that night, and I didn’t see who Nick left with, but the next day he came over and told me that he and Tiffany had hooked up.”
Jason paused, he figured she might need a moment to let the information sink in. She didn’t choose to take it.
“And?” Katie demanded stridently.
He knew that she wasn’t going to like what he had to say but he also knew she would want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
“And I told him he needed to break up with you. He said that he couldn’t, that he loved you. I said that if he wasn’t going to break up with you, then he, at least, needed to tell you what had happened. He wasn’t happy about it but, finally, he agreed.
“You came home that Friday, and I really did think that he was planning on telling you. But, remember his mom made that big dinner? And you were so happy to be home and happy to see his family? He couldn’t do it. He promised he would tell you the next day, but the next day turned into the next week, the next week turned into the next month. And he never told you.
“As far as I know, he didn’t cheat again until the next summer when we were all up at the lake. Remember that lifeguard, Britney? Well, he hooked up with her. He said that it wouldn’t happen again because we were leaving. I believed him. Again.
“Once our junior year was in full swing, I heard rumors about his extracurricular activities and confronted him. He admitted that he had been seeing some girls, and I told him that if he didn’t tell you, I would. He promised he would. He never did.
“I don’t know, Katie. Time kept passing and he never said anything. And I just didn’t want to burst the bubble of happiness you were living in.”
Katie was quiet. Jason wasn’t sure if she was thinking and would rather be left alone, but he didn’t want her to shut him out again.
“Katie, talk to me.”
“What do you want me to say? That I was an idiot? That I was a fool? Seriously, Jason, did everyone at school know? Was it some big joke?” she asked.
“I don’t think that many people knew. The girls didn’t want it getting around, and honestly, it was only a handful of them. And you were not an idiot. You had a boyfriend you trusted. That doesn’t make you an idiot. If anyone was an idiot, it was Nick.” Jason paused a beat and then added quietly, “To be honest, I never knew how he could even look at anyone else when he had you.”
Chapter Eighteen
Even in her heightened emotional state, Katie couldn't help but be soothed by the gorgeous greenery that surrounded Whisper Lake as well as the quaint downtown area they had to drive through in order to get to the hotel.
This place had always been where she had come to heal her soul, and maybe it could do its work again, this time. She hoped so.
As they stepped out of the truck, she breathed in the clean mountain air and let it revitalize her. She felt it refreshing her body as it refreshed her spirit, and she gave in completely to its ability to do so.
Katie thought about what she had learned on the drive. Well…continued to think would be more accurate. After the big ‘reveal,’ she had told Jason she had a headache and wanted to take a nap. She had sat with her eyes closed for the last hour of the drive, faking sleep.
She realized during that meditative interlude that, surprisingly, she wasn’t mad at Nick. At all. Maybe it was because so much time had passed—and since he was gone, it wasn’t like she could confront him about it anyway—but really, she wasn’t devastated or even upset that he had been with other girls.
But, she was mad. It was just that her anger was all directed in the very last place it should be. Pointed right at Jason. Which made no se
nse. Except for the fact that she had always trusted him, and it felt like he had betrayed that trust. She knew, logically, that he was not the one to blame, but apparently her logic had decided to stay in California because she certainly hadn’t been behaving or thinking very logically since she’d landed in Illinois.
As she and Jason walked up to the hotel lobby, Katie stopped to text Sophie to let her know that she had arrived and to ask how she was feeling. Before Katie had even put away her phone, Sophie texted back that she was feeling much better and that she would see her soon for massages and facials.
When Katie looked up from the text exchange, she saw Jason walking towards her with two card keys in his hands. “Got us all checked in,” he smiled cheerfully. “Come on. You're on the third floor. I'll carry your bags.”
A weak smile lifted on Katie’s lips. She couldn’t help it. It didn’t matter that she was hurt or mad at Jason, she had no choice but to smile when he kept thinking of her, her needs, taking care of her. Growing up, he had never been so infuriatingly gallant.
Well, apparently he had… she just hadn’t known about it at the time.
They both remained silent on the trip up the elevator. When they arrived at room 318, Jason inserted the key and held the door open for her. After Katie had walked inside, he smiled and placed her bags just inside the door.
She saw something brewing in the chocolate depths of his eyes, but she couldn’t quite place what it was. Before she figured it out, Jason pulled her into a quick hug and said, “Okay, Kit Kat, I'm gonna go and get settled in my room. Text or call if you need anything.”
Katie nodded against the solidness of Jason’s firm chest, feeling torn. As hurt as she felt right now, she had to admit that she didn't want to see him go. She wanted him to stay here with her. Hold her in his arms. When Jason’s arms were around her, the world didn’t feel so confusing. It felt right.
Still, she let him walk away without saying anything.
When the door shut, she stared at it for several minutes. Then, when Jason didn’t magically walk back in, she shook out her arms and tried to focus. Unpack. That’s what she should do. After that deed was done, she checked out the bathroom, opened up the tiny bottles of shampoo and conditioner and smelled them. She pulled aside the drapes and spent a few minutes enjoying the view of the people hustling and bustling through the courtyard below.