With that, he moved away from the girls, following Holly’s path into the darkness of the house.
If Rose and Lily were puzzled by his behavior, it lasted all of a blink of an eye before their attention was diverted to three young men who had just entered the house, being ushered forth by servants. The girls stood back in the little alcove, eyeing the young men who were given masks to wear. They huddled together, smiling and pointing, before being bold enough to emerge into the entry and conveniently running in to the trio, who were very pleased to meet the daughters of Lord Elvaston.
Rennington of Ashbourne and their sister were quickly forgotten.
PART FOUR
All That We See Or Seem….
She couldn’t do it.
She knew her father was going to be furious with her, but Holly couldn’t seem to bring herself to enter the stale, warm hall and mingle with those who had come to feast and celebrate not only her day of birth but also the coming event of Christmastide. All of those happy faces of friends and allies, the same group that would have been in attendance at her wedding with Adam. She couldn’t look at them now and listen to them convey their sympathies for the path her life had taken.
Therefore, it was best for her to leave the crowd for now and work up the courage to return. She would have to steel herself against their comments. She wished she was strong; two and a half years later, she should have been much stronger but she found that she wasn’t as hardened against it all as she would have liked. It wasn’t as if the pain was sharp on a daily basis, but it was there, lingering. That group in the great hall would just make it ache again.
So she quickly headed away from the laughter and music, into the corridor that passed through a smaller dining room and through the kitchens. This was the way she had come in earlier in the day and it was the way she would go out. There were a few cloaks hanging on pegs near the kitchen door and she snatched one as she went out into the night.
The snow was falling gently as she pulled the hood of the cloak over her head, protecting her hair from the icy flakes. It was cold and dark and peaceful out here but for the light emitting from the house and the faint laughter and noise she could hear inside. For a moment, she gazed up into the sky, seeing dark gray clouds, closing her eyes to the snow that was falling on her face. She wasn’t thinking thoughts of Adam so much as she was simply thinking thoughts of her future without him.
A future she’d never imagined. It had literally been years since she’d last seen the man who haunted her daily. Today was her birthday of twenty-one-years; she’d met Adam six years ago, right before her fifteenth year. They had known each other for a couple of months before their betrothal had been announced. He’d spent another month with her family coming to know everyone before he followed Richard to The Levant.
Odd how a man she’d really only known just a matter of months had branded her so strongly. She’d fallen in love with him quickly and he with her. Sometimes, she wondered if it was a built-up dream of Adam in her head that she clung to and not the real man that he had been. His memory had grown over the years, creating something of a surreal man in her mind. Surreal or not, he’d never left her.
He probably never would.
“It is quite cold for a stroll, my lady.”
The voice came from behind and Holly whirled around to see a big knight standing behind her. She knew he was a knight from the broadsword he had strapped to his leg, but more than that, he was a very big man, built and bred for battle. She’d seen the type before, with wide shoulders, thick arms, and big hands. She wasn’t particularly alarmed by his presence even though she probably should have been. A big man sneaking up behind her in the darkness should have been concerning, indeed.
“The feast is inside,” she said. “The main doorway is around the side of the house.”
She turned away from him to continue her walk, but he did not leave. “I have been inside,” he said, his voice soft and polite. “But I came outside when I saw you. My lady, I am not a bold or lascivious man by nature but I am compelled to speak with you. Would you be so gracious as to hear me out?”
Holly came to a stop, only turning her head to look at him. “Speak with me about what?”
“It would be much warmer if we went inside.”
“I do not want to go inside.”
“If that is your wish. I thought, mayhap, that it might be too cold for you in the snow.”
Holly turned her body towards him now, looking at him head-on. He had dark blonde hair and a square jaw. He wasn’t unhandsome in the least. In fact, he was rather comely. And he had a gentle manner about him. In spite of herself, she was curious.
“What is your name?” she asked.
He didn’t hesitate. “Sir Rennington of Ashbourne,” he replied. “I am from the ancient House of Osmaston. That is my family name. Ashbourne is where I was born.”
Holly nodded faintly. “I do not know you, however, nor have I heard of you,” she said. “How did you come by an invitation to this feast?”
Rennington had anticipated that question and was prepared with an explanation. “I was invited by your sisters,” he said. Well, it was nearly true. “I… I met them yesterday in the cathedral.”
Holly’s eyes narrowed. “Did they tell you to come and speak with me?” she asked, anger suddenly in her tone. “Because if they did, you can go back inside right now. I will not be….”
He cut her off, although it wasn’t rudely done. He simply spoke more quickly than she did. “They did not tell me to speak with you,” he said. “In fact… in fact, I do believe they were vying for my affections just now. Something about not wanting to die a spinster. I swear, I have had to run for my life for fear of being forced into something I’ve no desire to be forced in to.”
Holly stared at him for a moment before a smile tugged at her lips. Her anger faded because she could absolutely believe what he had said about her sisters. “Then I do apologize if they were overeager,” she said. “They have reached an age where they are quite taken with men. But I am sure such talk on the subject will bore you, so I will not elaborate. I am sure you will find much more companionable conversation inside.”
He shook his head. “Nay,” he said flatly. “I came for food and drink and the warmth of the season. What I have seen are women prowling the great hall like predatory beasts, all of them interested in sinking their teeth into me. For my own sake, I had to flee.”
Holly couldn’t help but grin now. “Surely you know that events such as this are for matchmaking,” she said. “Do you have a wife already, then?”
Again, he shook his head. “I do not,” he said, “nor do I want one.”
“Why not?”
“Because I lost the only woman I wanted to marry.”
Oh, it was such a fine and smooth lie. Rennington had decided early on that endearing himself to the elusive heiress, perhaps finding a common ground for them both, was the only way to suck her in. He could see how resistant she was simply by her manner. He knew he would have to go to great lengths if he wanted to keep her attention, so fine and smooth lies were on the tip of his tongue. He would say whatever he needed to in order to hold her focus and now that he’d delivered such a lie, he waited with anticipation for her reaction.
As he’d hoped, her expression changed when he mentioned a dead love. She took a step or two back in his direction.
“I am sorry to hear that,” she said, her manner more polite than it had been. “How did you lose her?”
He knew he had to be convincing. “A fever,” he said simply, trying to act like he was being brave about it. “It was very fast.”
Holly’s expression suggested sympathy. “I am sorry,” she said again. “Was it long ago?”
He nodded. “A year or two,” he said. “To be perfectly honest, I try not to think of it or discuss it.”
Holly could understand that point of view. God’s Bones, did she understand. She came towards him again, just a little closer. “I would
be interested to know if trying to forget such a memory has worked well for you,” she said. “Has it?”
He shrugged. “Well enough, I suppose,” he said. “But here we are discussing something I do not wish to discuss.”
It was both a jest and a rebuke, an odd combination. Holly smiled weakly. “I do apologize,” she said. “It is simply that I… I have interest in such things.”
“Death?”
“Forgetting about it.”
He nodded in understanding but did not press any more than that. He didn’t want to seem to be probing, especially in these fragile first few moments of their acquaintance. He had her on the right track, or so he hoped, and he intended to stay the course.
“Mayhap I will speak more of it when I’ve had too much wine,” he said, grinning. “It has been known to happen, you know. And, forgive me, my lady, but I do not even know your name.”
Holly didn’t see any harm in telling him. “I am Lady Holly,” she said. “My father is Lord Elvaston.”
Holly. It was the name of an angel as far as Rennington was concerned. He’d come this night to pursue the heiress but the fact that she was delightful to look at made him a bit giddy. Still, he kept his composure, reacting to her name by appearing to not be at all impressed by who she was.
“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Holly,” he said. “An unusual name.”
Holly gave him a half-grin. “Today, I have seen twenty-one years,” she said, looking to their surroundings, to the snow-covered shrubbery and trees. “My mother named me for the greenery that grows this time of year.”
He nodded with interest, as if he hadn’t already heard that fact. “Then I shall wish you the most joyous of days in celebration of your birth,” he said. “Have you been given marvelous gifts?”
She looked up at the house with the windows all lit up with warm light. “This feast.”
He tipped his head in the direction of the house. “But you are not inside enjoying it.”
Her smile faded. “Nay,” she said, averting her gaze. “Not yet. I… I do not do very well when I am in the midst of a great deal of people.”
“Uncomfortable?”
“Aye.”
He fought off a grin. “But there are many predatory men in there as well as the predatory women I spoke of,” he said. “Do you not have the same ambitions that your sisters do? As the lady of honor, you could have your choice of escorts.”
She shook her head. “I have no need for that,” she said flatly. “My sisters are welcome to all of the young men who have come to feast.”
“Do you already have a husband, then?”
She looked up at him, her eyes glittering in the weak light reflecting from the windows. She hesitated a moment before answering. “Nay,” he said. “Much like you, I lost my betrothed a few years ago. And I do not wish to discuss it.”
He wasn’t offended by her blunt statement. To him, it was a challenge. Perhaps he could worm more information out of her, playing the sympathetic acquaintance. If she thought they shared a common incident, it might make her more… pliable.
“Understandable,” he said. “But I am getting the sense that, perhaps, your father might wish for you to find another husband tonight.”
“Why would you say that?”
He threw a thumb in the direction of the house. “Because two entire chambers have been set aside for the bachelors in attendance,” he pointed out. “It seems that your father wants a stable for you and your sisters to choose from. Fathers can be quite forceful when they want you to do something. And quite indelicate.”
The corners of her mouth twitched. “That is true,” she said. “Do you have a father like that, also?”
“Who doesn’t?”
They shared a brief chuckle over the comment. As much as Holly didn’t want to speak with anyone at the moment, which had been her very reason for coming outside, she couldn’t quite seem to pull herself away from him. He had a brilliant smile; she liked it very much. She’d come outside to get away from the predatory men, as Rennington had called them, but now she found herself quite interested in a man who seemed to have the same opinion of this feast that she had.
The more they spoke, the more she sensed a kindred spirit in him and, to be truthful, it was lovely to have someone to talk to. Holly didn’t realize until that moment just how lonely she’d been, starved for companionship and conversation that didn’t involve her sisters and her family. Her life was one of loneliness and something was drawing her to this quiet, seemingly humble knight. She didn’t see any harm in continuing the conversation with him.
In fact, she wanted to.
“It seems we have a few things in common, Sir Rennington,” she said softly.
His gaze lingered on her. “Only people I disapprove of call me Rennington,” he said. “I would be honored for you to call me Ren.”
Holly’s smile returned. “Thank you,” she said. She hesitated a moment, turning to look at the snowy pathway behind her that led around the house to the gardens beyond. “I… I was just going for a walk. You are welcome to join me if you truly do not wish to return inside.”
It was the invitation Rennington had been hoping for. He nodded. “Indeed, my lady,” he said. “Your invitation is both a relief and an honor.” He suddenly came to a halt, looking at her fearfully. “You are not going to prey upon me, are you?”
Holly laughed, her white teeth flashing in the darkness. “I am not, I swear it,” she said. “If I do not prey upon you, then you shall not prey upon me. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
With an embarrassed smile, Holly began walking down the path, hearing Rennington’s boots behind her. It had been, literally, years since she’d last walked with a man or even had an extended conversation with one, so she was feeling a little nervous. It was a strange, giddy feeling, something she’d only known once before – whenever she had been with Adam. She tried not to be confused by the sensation or even feel guilty for it.
“Tell me of your father,” she said as they walked through the powder-like snow. “And where is Ashbourne?”
Rennington thought carefully on what he was going to say on the subject of his father and family. It was a touchy subject with him, one he didn’t much speak of, but he didn’t see any real harm in telling her the truth. It would seem this entire conversation was to be a mix of truth and lies from his own lips. He would say anything to keep her interest, and the conversation, going.
“Ashbourne is north, towards Manchester,” he said. “It is not too far from here. Have you ever traveled north to Manchester? Then you more than likely would have passed by it. My family has a castle there called Henmore. Back in the days before William arrived, my family ruled over the entire area but when the Normans came, the only way my family survived was by not fighting against them. They took most of our lands but left us with the most important parts, including the castle.”
Holly listened with interest. “And your father still lives there?”
He shook his head. “In fact, he does not,” he said. “You see, I have been in The Levant with Richard for the past few years and my father did not want me to go at all. We had horrible arguments over it, but I felt strongly that I needed to go. I am one of four sons, you see, and my eldest brother inherited the estate and the money, so I was determined to go on crusade to seek my fortune. Little did I know that everything my father told me was correct.”
Holly was looking up at him, her expression serious. “You were in the Holy Land?”
He nodded, thinking on the memories he would have liked to have forgotten. They were dredging up, whether or not he really wanted them to. “I was,” he said. “My father told me not to go, for it was only Richard’s vanity that called men to arms. He told me that it was not a great holy crusade but merely Richard’s quest for greatness. I told him he was wrong and I went, but the truth was that he was right. It took me two years to realize what a mistake I’d made but by that time, it was too la
te. I was a commander of one of Richard’s legions and the war we fought was not for God’s glory. It was for Richard’s.”
It was the truth, all of it, unfiltered as he spoke of it. They were things he’d never really said to anyone but, now, they came pouring out to her. He didn’t even know why he was suddenly being so deeply honest with her, only that he felt compelled to speak of such things. When he glanced at her and saw her somewhat distressed expression, he smiled weakly.
“Forgive me,” he said. “I should not have been so tactless. But you asked of my father and I suppose it was my way of explaining my relationship with him. When I returned from crusade earlier this year, I went home to Ashbourne to tell my father that he had been right all along and to beg his forgiveness, but I discovered that he had died last year and my brother had inherited Ashbourne. My brother was not glad to see me, accused me of killing our father by defying him and following Richard. He banished me from the only home I have ever known. So I have been traveling England, praying in every church I come across and trying to discover just what kind of man I truly am.”
Holly was listening closely. “And what kind are you?”
He grinned. “A much wiser one,” he said. “I only wish I could have told my father that.”
Holly smiled because he was. “It seems to me that any man who can admit he was wrong is a wise man, indeed,” she said. “I am sure your father would have forgiven you.”
“I hope so.”
They walked a few more feet in thoughtful silence, the snow crunching softly beneath their feet. “You said when you first introduced yourself that you had a need to speak with me,” Holly said because she had been rolling their entire conversation over in their mind. “What did you wish to speak of?”
Suddenly, the moment was upon him. The very moment he had been waiting for. Rennington had tried his hardest to endear himself to her and now he was about to strike the blow that would hopefully garner the woman’s interest completely. He’d been planning for this moment since yesterday. Quietly, he cleared his throat.
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