David began to chuckle as they loaded the shopping into the back of the Range Rover. ‘It was worth the eighty pence to watch you squirm for a change,’ he explained at her questioning look.
‘Sorry?’ she frowned at him.
‘You looked as if you were about to explode with laughter in there a couple of times,’ he nodded in the direction of the supermarket. ‘While I played ten-pin-bowling with the other shoppers!’ He gave a rueful grin.
She smiled in spite of herself. ‘Some trolleys do seem to have a will of their own.’
‘This one certainly did,’ he pushed it into one of the appropriate lanes in the car park with obvious relief. ‘Changed your mind about the Christmas tree?’ he prompted gently as he rejoined her.
It unsettled her slightly that he didn’t arrogantly insist she had to have a tree; if he had she would have lost no time in telling him ‘no’! But, although he was the type of man who liked things done, she had also learnt that he wasn’t the type who walked all over other people’s wishes. And she could see that if she said she was still set on not having a tree then he wouldn’t press the issue. Which instantly made her feel churlish for refusing in the first place. Besides, she couldn’t run away from memories for the rest of her life.
‘Why not?’ she accepted lightly. ‘But it will have to be a small one,’ she added hastily, not willing to give in completely.
David nodded consideringly, laughter in the navy blue eyes. ‘I think it might get a little draughty in the cottage if you had a ten-foot one sticking up through the roof!’
Jade gave him a narrow-eyed glare, not deigning to answer as she walked off.
Despite her earlier comments about the impracticality of real Christmas trees, she opted for one of those rather than one of the plastic ones. There were some really lovely artificial ones on sale in the shops, but that was the trouble really, they were artificial, and, painful as the memories were, she had been used to the real pine-shedding type all her life, and couldn’t break with that tradition.
After much deliberation they settled on a really bushy tree, about four feet high, which easily fitted into the back of the Range Rover. And then, of course, they had to go back to another big store to get the decorations for it.
It was while David was extolling the virtues of a rather large metallic red ball that could be hung from the ceiling that Jade spotted the mother of one of her pupils watching them a short distance away with open curiosity.
That was all Jade needed, although perhaps it was inevitable she should be recognised by someone in town; most of the people from the surrounding area shopped in town on Saturdays, and it was probably only the fact that the bad weather had kept some of them away that had saved her from a confrontation like this earlier in the morning.
‘Mrs Shepherd,’ she made a point of greeting the other woman before smiling down at the little girl at her side. ‘Hello, Tracy. Are you busy getting things for your tree, too?’
‘Miss Mellors,’ Tracy’s mother greeted while Tracy herself shyly held up the pretty silver tinsel she had been busy choosing. ‘Awful weather, isn’t it?’ Heather Shepherd added conversationally.
Jade smiled in acknowledgement, at the same time realising that David had noticed her transfer of interest and was watching them politely. ‘Mrs Shepherd, this is our headmaster’s younger brother, David,’ she introduced distantly. ‘He’s staying with the Kendricks for the holidays,’ she supplied economically, her mouth twisting with rueful acceptance as she saw the avid interest in the other woman’s face now that she knew David’s identity. ‘He very kindly offered to bring me into town today because of the bad weather,’ she felt compelled to add.
‘Actually, it’s more a case of Penny wanting me out of the way because I was getting under her feet,’ David confided charmingly as he shook the other woman’s hand firmly.
Mrs Shepherd gave a wry smile. ‘I know the feeling; it’s so hectic this time of the year.’
‘But worth it,’ David said gently as he smiled down at Tracy, whose huge blue eyes dominated her pretty little face, and whose hair, a mass of jet-black curls, cascaded down her back.
Much like the little girl he and Sara might have had together, if only Sara had lived to give him a child…
It was so easy, with his lazily teasing nature, to forget that David had already known so much tragedy in his life. It was to his credit that he hadn’t grown bitter from the blow life had dealt him so early in his life.
‘Well, we must get on,’ the little girl’s mother excused. ‘Tracy wants to go and see Father Christmas before we go home,’ she confided indulgently.
‘But I thought you saw him yesterday?’ David teased as he went down on his haunches so that he should no longer tower over the shy little girl. Tracy held up one slender wrist, showing off the brightly coloured bracelet she had obviously received as her present from ‘Father Christmas’ the day before. ‘It’s beautiful,’ he dutifully admired the piece of jewellery she obviously cherished. ‘I know why you have to see him again.’ He smiled at her mischievously. ‘You left something off that enormous list you gave him yesterday!’
Tracy gave a coy giggle, waving shyly as her mother prepared to leave.
‘If the list gets much bigger, the attic will collapse under the weight,’ Mrs Shepherd told them in a whisper before moving off.
‘I remember.’ David straightened with a companionable grin Jade couldn’t resist sharing. ‘I envy you, you know,’ he sighed wistfully. ‘You must get a tremendous satisfaction working with children as lovely as that one all day,’ he explained at her questioning look, still watching Tracy, the little girl sending him another shy wave every now and then as she made her way to the cash-till with her mother.
‘I do love my work,’ Jade nodded. ‘But the children all have their moments!’
He turned with an understanding laugh. ‘In other words, they can be little devils when they choose. Even Tracy.’ He resumed choosing the decorations.
‘Even Tracy,’ she agreed lightly. ‘Although I have to admit, she’s usually good.’
David decided to have the large red ball after all, placing it in the basket with the other things they had already chosen. ‘I guess my Father Christmas yesterday wasn’t enough to satisfy them until the big night,’ he grimaced. ‘Although at least now I know who—and what—takes up that space at the end of your bed,’ he said self-mockingly.
‘Wellington,’ she acknowledged drily.
He nodded. ‘I plagued poor Penny for hours yesterday to tell me if there was a special man in your life.’ He frowned as a closed look came over her face. ‘Don’t look like that; Penny was the soul of discretion if there was anything to tell, told me to ask you any personal questions like that. Although she would admit there had been no one that she knew of during the few months since you’ve been here,’ he murmured thoughtfully. ‘Does that mean there’s someone in London?’
Jade had stiffened as soon as he mentioned the possibility of there being a man in her life, the easy camaraderie that had developed during the morning rapidly fading as her barriers moved firmly back into place.
David gave a pained grimace at her tight-lipped expression. ‘Penny was right, that question was obviously too personal even to ask you.’ He took the shopping basket out of her unresisting fingers. ‘I think we have enough decorations here now.’
She nodded abruptly. ‘It’s only a small cottage.’ Her voice was strained.
He went to move away, stopped, turning back with a sigh. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve upset you with my questions.’ He shook his head in regret. ‘I was really enjoying spending this day with you.’
So had she been, until that timely reminder. She had briefly forgotten the reason she chose to distance herself from people, the reason she dared not let anyone close to her, even a man like David who she knew without a doubt was good and kind. But she had remembered all too well now her reasons for remaining apart from such friendships, would have to take care she didn’t forget a
gain.
For to forget again, to allow herself the indulgence of this man’s warmth, was a danger to her, and to everything she had so painstakingly built up for herself in the last year and a half.
The tragedy in David’s past had been tremendous, but her own loss had been almost as great, although luckily no one had died. But she had lost. And she had sacrificed. At the time it had all been more than she had thought she could humanly bear.
She dared not leave herself open to that type of pain again.
She couldn’t have guessed then, as her spine stiffened with resolve, how soon the fragile world she had managed to build for herself was to be completely shattered…
CHAPTER FIVE
IT WAS difficult to remain distant and unmoved in the face of David’s boyish enthusiasm for putting up the decorations and the tree.
But she tried very hard to do just that as the homely cottage was transformed into a glittering world of Christmas fantasy, everywhere she looked a dazzling reminder of the festive season soon to come. Achingly haunting memories surfaced just at the sight of them, causing a painful lump in her throat.
‘What do you think, Wellington?’ David stepped back from the tree he had just brought inside, firmly established in a bucket of earth, the cat having sat on the hearthrug watching him in fascinated curiosity during the whole procedure of putting up the other decorations. ‘Is it straight in the bucket?’ He glanced down at the cat, Wellington staring back at him with unblinking green eyes, his head tilted questioningly to one side. ‘No, I didn’t think it was, either,’ David sighed, moving to adjust the trunk of the tree in the bucket of earth.
Jade had been standing in the kitchen doorway listening all the time this one-sided conversation had been taking place, shaking her head ruefully at David’s idiocy. ‘A little more to the right,’ she advised softly as he stared at the tree frustratedly.
He instantly turned to the cat in feigned wonderment. ‘You talked,’ he pounced. ‘My God, Wellington, you could make a fortune going around showing you’re the only talking cat ever known to mankind. Of course, we’ll have to break it to Jade gently that she’s been wrong about your sex all this time, but—’
‘Very funny,’ Jade drawled drily as she strolled fully into the room.
‘Oh, it was you all the time,’ he said with mock surprise. ‘You’ve been so quiet since we got back that I felt sure your voice must have gone.’
She ignored the gently questioning gibe, knowing that, although he would understand her feelings of desolation this time of year if she cared to explain, she wouldn’t do so. Eighteen months ago she wouldn’t have believed herself capable of such distant withdrawal from human closeness; it had just been a lesson she had learnt the hard way.
But the silence between David and herself was companionable now as they adorned the tree, David handing her the angel to put on the top as the final decoration. Jade felt a lump in her throat as David flicked the electricity switch and the gaily coloured lights trailed around the tree were illuminated.
‘Thank you,’ was all she could say huskily, but she could see by the warmth in navy blue eyes that David understood her emotion.
‘Now, how about a late lunch before driving over to see Penny and Simon?’ he suggested briskly. ‘I told them when I telephoned earlier that I hoped to spend the day with you, and Penny invited us over for tea with them and the children if we cared to go.’
Jade stiffened. ‘And you accepted for me?’
‘No,’ he gently calmed her. ‘I told her we would let her know.’
She relaxed slowly. ‘I’m sorry.’ She felt churlish for jumping to conclusions, wishing he would stop being so damned nice so that she might at least start distrusting him again. Because that mistrust had taken a serious blow today.
David stepped forward, standing just in front of her, long slender hands coming up to cradle either side of her face. ‘Whoa,’ he gentled softly as she would have jerked away. ‘I only wanted to thank you for our time together today,’ he explained huskily.
She became still, blinking up at him, her eyes deeply puzzled.
‘It’s the best time I’ve had in years,’ he told her gruffly, the warmth of his gaze caressing her. ‘I really felt as if I “belonged” here with you today. It’s the feeling I’ve missed the most.’
She knew exactly what he meant by the term—the feeling of being a couple, of sharing. It was something she too had known once, something she too had missed, even though she had tried to block it from her mind, something she too had felt briefly between them today. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous…
That danger came even closer as David lowered his head towards her, navy blue depths holding her captive before his head had lowered enough for his lips to touch and know hers.
Electrified satin. It was a contradiction in terms, but it was the only way Jade could think of to describe what it was like to be kissed by this man. The feeling washed over her so completely that she couldn’t help but be captivated by the contrasting touch. David’s lips against hers were like satin, but tiny shivers of tingling pleasure made Jade’s mouth throb, almost like tiny electric shocks.
Electrified satin…
Jade swayed dizzily towards him, clasping his forearms to stop herself from moulding her body against his. She couldn’t, she just couldn’t!
David instantly released her as he felt that slight resistance. ‘I’ll build up the fire while you go up and get your change of clothes for this evening,’ he told her huskily. ‘You haven’t forgotten Penny and Simon are throwing a party tonight?’ he prompted lightly at her lack of response, acting for all the world as if that kiss had never happened.
But Jade had forgotten everything in the midst of that kiss, even her name very briefly! What was her name?
‘Jade?’ he prompted again, his expression indulgent at her dazed reaction.
Oh, yes—Jade. Dear God, David wasn’t the one that was insane, she was. She had enjoyed his lips against hers, found pleasure in the protection they seemed to give her, had actually wanted the kiss to continue, had had to force herself to make it stop.
‘Your change of clothes,’ he reminded her lightly before turning towards the fire.
Jade continued to watch the broadness of his back for several seconds as he put coal on the fire as professionally as he had this morning, shaking herself to clear the fog from her numbed brain before quickly hurrying from the room. She sat down shakily on her bed.
Madness, utter madness. And the greatest madness of all was that she knew the cottage was going to seem very lonely now that it had known David’s presence…
* * *
None of her distress at that knowledge was obvious when she came down the stairs a short time later, having changed the denims for black tailored trousers but left on the dark green jumper. She carried the clothes she intended wearing that evening in a bag.
She coolly met David’s gaze as he turned from stroking Wellington to look at her. ‘I’ll feed him before we go, and then go and check on Cleo,’ she told him distantly.
His brows rose. ‘Another pet?’
Jade turned back at his puzzled query, a half-smile on her lips. ‘My car,’ she corrected drily.
‘Oh,’ he straightened, with a rueful grimace for the mistake he had made.
She nodded briskly. ‘I just want to run the engine for a while.’
‘It’s a good idea to charge up the battery in such severe weather,’ he nodded.
She could see that although he approved of that idea he found the idea of a car named Cleo a little on the strange side!
‘Personally,’ he continued, straight-faced, ‘I call mine George!’ He grinned.
She gave a relaxed laugh, any moments of tension that might have existed completely gone. She went into the kitchen with a rueful shake of her head.
David went to put her things in the back of the Range Rover while she opened the garage doors to turn the engine over on the car.
He came
in to lean on the open window a short time later. ‘It looks in good condition,’ he admired, smoothing a hand over the perfect paintwork.
‘She is,’ Jade corrected pointedly, revving up the engine. ‘I’ve had her six years now and she’s never let me down yet. Her previous owner—and he was the original—said she had never let him down either. She’s getting a bit old,’ she realised affectionately. ‘But I’ll keep her until she falls apart now. What’s George?’ It felt good to be on such a safe topic as their respective vehicles after what had happened earlier!
‘A Jag,’ he admitted softly. ‘Sports model.’
‘Don’t apologise for it,’ she teased his near reluctance to own up to such a powerful and expensive car. ‘I just happen to be rather attached to my Mini.’
‘A cat and a car,’ he remarked thoughtfully. ‘There must be room in there for me somewhere!’ he added with self-mockery.
The revving of the engine came to an abrupt halt as she took her foot off the accelerator to switch off the ignition, climbing out of the car to put an abrupt end to the conversation too. ‘Shall we go?’ she prompted stiltedly, her expression remote.
In truth, although she did like to check on Cleo in severe weather like this, most of the reason for her delay was a reluctance to see Penny and Simon after having spent the day with David in spite of her previous hostility towards him.
She could feel her tension mounting as they approached the house, David having accepted her earlier rebuff with good grace, music playing softly on the radio to alleviate the pointed silence.
The presence of ‘George’ parked in the driveway beside Penny’s estate car momentarily diverted her attention away from her own dilemma, a sleek, dark grey car whose lines cried out its distinctive make.
‘George,’ she admired mockingly as she stepped out on to the driveway.
David ran a hand lovingly down the sleek bonnet. ‘The one and only. I can’t claim to have had him as long as you’ve had Cleo, but I’m very attached to him.’
Once again their conversation about their ridiculously personally named cars helped to ease the tension between them. ‘A family who loves you, a beautiful car—what more could you possibly want?’ Jade teased lightly, instantly wishing she hadn’t as his expression became wistful. ‘I didn’t mean—’
The Loving Gift Page 7