“Honey, love is never stupid,” JJ whispers, bringing me out of my thoughts, and my head lifts, my eyes meeting her soft ones.
“I don’t love him.”
Her eyes close briefly then a small smile turns up her lips. “Don’t lie to yourself, honey, and please don’t lie to me either.”
“Wouldn’t it…” I swallow and pull my eyes from her to look out the window at the back yard. “Wouldn’t that be stupid?”
“Love is never stupid. It’s beautiful and consuming, and we don’t always have the ability to fight it when it happens.”
“I don’t want to love him. I don’t want to get hurt again,” I tell her honestly, dropping my eyes to the counter in front of me.
“I hear you. It’s never easy putting yourself out there, putting yourself in a situation that leaves you vulnerable, open for hurt or pain.”
“Exactly,” I agree, taking the shot she scoots across the counter toward me.
“But then again, if you don’t put yourself out there, don’t let your guard down, don’t open yourself up to the chance of love, then you will never have the experience of someone proving to you they are worthy of the gift you’re giving them. You won’t have a shot at happiness, not real happiness, which comes from sharing your life with someone.”
“I don’t need anyone—especially not a man—to be happy,” I grumble, and her hand reaches out, taking mine and squeezing it tight.
“Everyone needs someone. Even people who think they’re happy on their own know they were wrong the first time they have someone to come home to at the end of the night. Someone to share their sorrow with, someone to lean on when they can’t stand on their own anymore. I’m not saying another person will ever make you whole, but having someone who wants the best for you, loves you, cares about your future and your well-being, is far from a bad thing.”
Swallowing hard, I close my eyes against the pain in my chest, because I know she’s right. I just don’t know if Evan’s that person. I did know before; I knew it with every fiber of my being. Now? Now I’m not so sure.
“What did he say that got him back in?” she asks, and it takes me a moment to understand she’s asking why he was suddenly in my house after, as she put it, I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with him.
“He didn’t say anything to me. My sister’s husband heard him say he wasn’t good enough for me.” I shake my head, pulling a chunk of hair away from my face. “I… I wanted him to know that wasn’t the case, that he was always good enough, so I told him that.”
Nodding, her eyes go softer and she mutters, “Selfless.”
“What?”
“When you love someone, really love them, you will do whatever is necessary to protect that person, even if you’re protecting them from you.”
“I didn’t need him protecting me from him.”
“You think that, but my guess is he didn’t feel the same way.”
“I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it. When I ask him, he says ‘later.’ I don’t even know what the hell that means.”
“Later means just that—later. I’m sure he’s not looking forward to sharing his burden with you. I also doubt he wants to do that after he’s just gotten you back.”
“We’re having sex, JJ. I don’t think that qualifies as us getting back together.”
“Did you tell him that?” She raises her brows.
“No,” I mutter.
“Exactly.” She grins then jumps off her stool. “I gotta get home. My man is cool, but if I don’t feed him before he heads out, we got problems.” She must read my face, because her smile turns wicked when she confides, “Honey, trust me when I tell you the punishments he doles out are always a win for me.”
“Oh,” I whisper, and she tosses her head back laughing then picks up the bottle of tequila and heads for the door. I walk behind her and she stops and turns to me. “Take the chance, girl. I know you’re scared, and I know he fucked up before, but I got a good feeling about this and I’m rarely ever wrong.”
“Thanks for the talk and the drinks.” I lean in, giving her a hug but not an answer. Shaking her head, she opens the door and walks out on her heels, down the sidewalk, then across our lawns. Stopping on her front porch, she waves once and disappears from sight when she goes into her house.
Closing the door behind me, I lean back against it. I don’t feel better after that talk. If anything, I feel more conflicted. Rather than thinking about it anymore, since I had been doing nothing but that all day, I head for my bathroom and turn on the tub’s faucet. One of the reasons I bought my house was because of the bathtub. Three people could fit comfortably in it, and it has six powerful jets that turn it into an indoor hot tub.
Starting the water, I wander into my room to find my cell phone. I turn it on airplane mode, so that it won’t annoy me, and then find my headphones and start up Adele. Going back into the bathroom, I turn on my electric candles and shut off the light. I close the door then gather my hair on top of my head, strip out of my clothes, dump a ton of peach-scented bubble bath under the running water, and climb in. It doesn’t take me long to find peace and for the sound of Adele to take me away.
Blinking at the sudden bright light that fills the bathroom, it takes a second for my eyes to adjust. As soon as they do, a scream rips up the back of my throat and I scramble back in the tub, losing Adele as my ear buds fall from my ears. Sloshing water onto the floor, I stand as a man wearing a ski mask watches me from across the room.
Reaching my hand out blindly, I find a towel and cover myself, not taking the chance of pulling my eyes from him to look for something to use as a weapon. Panting, blood sings loudly though my veins as I keep my eyes on him, waiting to see what he does so I can counter his movement. He doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe or even make a noise. He just stares at me, his bright green eyes surrounded by black fabric fixed on mine.
I don’t know how long we stand there staring at each other. It could be seconds, or minutes, but without a word or a backward glance, he walks out. Hurrying from the tub, I stumble to the door, slam it closed, and click the lock in place. Searching the room for my cell phone, I see it at the bottom of the tub. I move to the vanity and pull out the drawers, dumping the contents onto the floor.
Coming up with a pair of cheap, black-handled scissors in the last drawer, I move to the door, press my ear to it, and adjust my towel. I can’t hear anything, nothing; it’s silent. It takes everything in me to open the door, my scissors my only weapon, and as soon as I do, I run through the house without stopping and head for the front door. As soon as I’m there, I swing it open and run as fast as I can across my lawn and up JJ’s porch, pounding on the door. It doesn’t take long for it to open, and as soon as it does, I fall inside.
“What the fuck?” Brew, JJ’s husband, hisses, shutting the door.
“Th—” I pant, dropping to my knees and clutching the scissors to my chest.
“June,” I hear JJ whisper, but I can’t answer. I can’t even breathe.
“Get my phone, baby,” Brew calls, and I try to catch my breath to tell them that someone was in my house, but I can’t do either. “I’m gonna get you off the floor, darlin’,” I hear muttered, before I’m pulled up and being moved and settled onto a couch.
“June, honey, you need to calm down and breathe for me,” JJ soothes as her hands wrap around my jaw and she pulls my eyes to meet hers. Nodding, I try, I really do, and then a large hand pushes down on my back, forcing my face low toward my lap. I absently hear Brew on the phone, but I can’t really make out what he’s saying, because JJ is whispering in my ear to breathe. Eventually, my breath comes back, and I lift my head and meet her gaze.
“Thank fucking God.” JJ wraps her arms around me, and I feel tears gather in my eyes as she hugs me. “What the fuck happened?”
“I… I took a… a bath. There… there was a guy… a guy,” I whimper, burying my face against her neck. Her body goes solid, and I feel a current of som
ething dangerous weave itself through the room. Lifting my head away from her neck, my gaze collides with Evan’s. His big body is statue still, his eyes enraged, his energy so dangerous I feel it seeping into my pores from across the room.
“Brother, cool it,” Brew growls, stepping between Evan and me, cutting off our connection.
“Let’s get you some clothes,” JJ says, and I nod. Clothes are good. Actually, they’re great.
“Move out of my fucking way, Brew, before I move you myself,” Evan rumbles, and then he’s in front of me, his hands holding my face gently as his eyes scan me. “Are you hurt?” he asks, moving his hands from my face, running them over me. As I shake my head, he pulls my hands from my chest and pries the scissors from me, tosses them away, and then gathers me against him. He buries his face in my neck, holding me so tight that my breath leaves on a strangled whoosh.
“Ev,” I breathe against the skin of his neck.
“Fuck, baby. Jesus…” His hold on me tightens. I feel tears sting my nose for an altogether different reason. There is no way, not right now, that I can deny my love for him, that in his arms, I feel safe.
“Let me get some clothes on her. The cops are pulling up,” JJ says softly, and Evan’s arms loosen as he leans back, looks over his shoulder at JJ, and nods once. Then his eyes come back to me. Panic starts to creep through my system at the idea of Evan leaving me, and without even thinking, my hands latch on to the front of his shirt in a death grip. His eyes drop to my hands then move up to meet mine and his face goes soft.
“I’ll be right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere. Go with JJ and get somethin’ on.”
“I’m okay. I don’t need to,” I whisper, feeling my hands start to shake.
“He can come with us, honey,” JJ says, placing her hand against my cheek and gaining my attention. Looking back at Evan, he nods at me then takes my hands from his shirt, kissing both before helping me up.
JJ’s house is a completely different layout from mine. Her living room opens up to the kitchen, and all of the bedrooms are down a hall in the back of the house—two on one side with a bathroom in-between, and one on the other. Leading me into the master bedroom with Evan at my back, I follow her into the closet.
“Take your pick, honey, then come back out front. I’m gonna make sure Brew doesn’t scare the cops away.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, and her hand comes up once more, holding my cheek, then she’s gone, leaving Evan and me in her closet.
Finding a pair of sweats on one of the shelves, I hold them out in front of me shakily. “Let me,” Evan mutters, taking them from my hands, dropping to his knees in front of me, and holding them open like a parent would for a child.
Placing my hand on his shoulder, he slips them up my legs under the towel, ties the waist tight, and then stands. I grab the biggest sweatshirt I can find—regardless of the fact that even being after eight, the night air is humid and hot—because I want to be covered. Taking the towel from around me, he holds the sweatshirt over my head, using the same parental technique, helping me put my arms through the sleeves.
Once I’m dressed, his fingers slide under my chin and he puts pressure there until my eyes meet his. He looks at me for a long time then leans in, running his nose across mine before dropping his mouth briefly and touching his lips to mine. “I’ll be with you.” Swallowing, I nod and drop my eyes to the ground. “Tell me he didn’t touch you,” he rumbles quietly, and my eyes fly up to meet his. His are pissed and anguished as they hold mine.
“He didn’t. He didn’t do anything. I… I don’t… I don’t… He just stared at me. I don’t… don’t even know what he was doing there,” I tell him, placing my hand against his chest. His heart is beating so hard that I can feel it against my palm, even as it trembles.
“Did you get a look at his face?”
“No, he had a mask on.” I swallow, closing my eyes. His green eyes are burned into my brain. “He had green eyes, unusual green eye—”
“June!” is roared, cutting me off, and I step out of the closet, feeling Evan at my back. My eyes slide to the door as my dad barrels into the room. The second he sees me, relief flashes across his face.
“Dad,” I whisper as his arms engulf me.
“June Bug,” he whispers, sounding pained as his arms squeeze me.
“I’m okay,” I assure him quietly.
“What the fuck happened?” he asks, pulling back to look at me.
“Let’s let her tell the cops. You can listen in while she does it so she doesn’t have to repeat it,” Evan says, and my dad’s eyes move from me to him and his lips press tight.
Shit.
“There a reason you’re here?” Dad asks Evan, and I feel my muscles tense.
“Yeah,” Evan mutters but doesn’t continue as he holds my dad’s gaze.
“Dad, I should—”
“You wanna tell me what that reason is?” Dad asks, ignoring me, and I look at Evan, willing him to leave it.
“Me and June are seeing each other,” he says, ignoring my look. My dad’s eyes come to me then back to Evan’s when he speaks. “We don’t have time to do this right now. June needs to speak with the cops and then she needs to rest. She’s shook up.”
My dad’s face flashes with something, but he turns, muttering over his shoulder, “Come on out. Your mom needs to see for herself that you’re okay, and you need to talk to the cops, so let’s get this done.”
He’s gone before I can say anything to him.
“Evan—”
“Not now, baby. Later. Right now, you need to tell the cops what happened.”
Clenching my teeth, I let out a breath then nod. Taking my hand, he leads me out of JJ’s room and down the hall.
“What the fuck, June Bug?” my dad asks, stepping out onto his back porch and sliding the door closed behind him.
I knew this was coming, but I was honestly trying to put it off. Which is why, as soon as we got into my parents house, I went out the back door hoping to have some time to come up with an explanation.
Earlier, Evan walked me to the living room, where three uniformed police officers greeted us along with my mom, who was more freaked than I was. I took a seat on JJ’s couch with Evan sitting close, his arm wrapped around my waist, and told the cops what happened. It didn’t take long, and not surprisingly, there is nothing they could do. My jewelry box was missing, along with my laptop, but my door wasn’t locked, and whoever came in did just that, walked right in and took my stuff.
My dad growled when he heard I didn’t lock the door or set the alarm, and Evan had much the same response, except his arm got super tight—so tight that I knew I would have five small bruises at my ribcage from his fingers. When the cops left, JJ and Brew, who had been kind enough to let us use their house, offered everyone a beer. To my surprise, my dad and mom both accepted their offer, while Evan left behind the cops, telling me he would be back and kissing me softly before he went.
I couldn’t tell you how long we were there before Evan, Jax, and Sage came inside, and when they did, I didn’t get the vibe that they were happy. That’s when Evan told my dad straight out to take me home with him, and that he would be by in the morning to pick me up to take me home then to work.
One could say I was in a state of shock. First, my dad isn’t an easy man. He’s soft for his girls, those girls being my mom, me, and my sisters, but other than that, he doesn’t hold much back. He sure as heck wouldn’t—even when I was younger—allow a guy to tell him what to do in regards to his girls. But he did with Evan, and I swore I saw his lips twitch when he did. Now, looking at my dad, I can see he’s not pissed, but annoyed, and honestly, I’m too worried about what Evan is doing to be concerned with my father’s reaction to the news that I have a boyfriend. Something I haven’t even come to terms with yet.
“Dad, please don’t.”
“Don’t?” he repeats, leaning back against the railing that runs the length of the porch.
“I alre
ady know what you’re gonna say.”
“Yeah, what’s that?” he asks, and I look at him, really unsure of what he’s gonna say.
His reaction to Evan’s declaration was seriously surprising, so I’m at a loss. I just know whatever he’s got to say isn’t going to be what I want to hear right now.
“That boy has demons,” he says quietly, and I pull my bottom lip between my teeth while wrapping my arms around my waist. I’m not surprised he knows, but at the same time, I am. “That’s a lot to take on, June Bug, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
It’s a little late for that, I think but don’t say as I stare at him.
“Do you love him?” he questions, crossing his arms over his chest. Shrugging at his question, too afraid to admit it to him or myself, I watch as his eyes close then open back up. “I’m worried about you. Like I said before, Evan is a good man, but I see in him the same thing I’ve seen in a few of my brothers from the military. A monster lives in him, honey, and I don’t know if he’s strong enough to fight that monster back.”
“I’m going to help him with his demons,” I whisper, feeling my throat close up. I know I need to do that for him. Yes, what he did to me was horrible, but I know him—or knew him—and the kind of man he is. He deserves to have some good, to understand there is nothing wrong with him. “There… there’s a lot you don’t know, Dad.”
“So tell me.”
Licking my lips, I move over to one of the loungers and take a seat, dropping my head into my hands. I feel Dad come close, his weight hits my side, and his arm wraps around my shoulders, pulling me into him. “The first time I looked into his eyes, I swear my world stopped,” I whisper, dropping my hands to my lap and locking them together. “That was about three years ago.” I look out at the back yard. “We were inseparable. Every free moment I had, we were together.” I smile, remembering our quiet times alone, just him and me, talking, laughing, cuddling. Just being us.
“What happened?”
“You’re gonna be mad,” I tell him honestly, ’cause I know he will be. No dad wants to learn their child, especially their daughter, got married and didn’t even mention they were dating anyone.
Until June (Until Her#2) Page 7