by A L Berridge
‘I’ve a better idea,’ said Stefan. He stretched, leant back against the wall, and took out his flask. ‘Let’s forget the Château altogether.’
André didn’t even look up from the map. ‘We’re just tired, that’s all. There’ll be a way, we’ll find it.’
‘We won’t,’ said Stefan. ‘It’s time to stop messing about and call a halt.’
André stared at him, but Stefan just stared back. The boy turned quickly to Marcel, but Marcel only lowered his head. Then he looked at me.
I felt like every kind of shit, but there wasn’t any point lying. I said ‘It’s not breaking your word, André, we only promised we’d try.’
He didn’t move. He just went on looking at me.
I said desperately ‘We’ve tried, haven’t we? There’s no shame in it, we’ve tried.’
He said ‘No, we haven’t. Four of us here, four soldiers, how can we sit without so much as a scratch between us and say we tried?’
Stefan started to roll up the map. ‘I suppose you’d rather we all died first.’
‘I don’t want anyone to die,’ said the boy. ‘I just want to get the hostages out.’
I said ‘But we can’t …’
He rounded on me, and for a second it was the old André. ‘Don’t you dare tell me I can’t. I must, that’s all there is. I must.’
No one said anything. The boy climbed slowly to his feet and I felt him looking down at us. Then I heard him step off the decking and head for the door.
I scrambled up but Marcel was quicker. He laid his hand on my arm, said ‘I’ll do it,’ and went after the boy. I stood miserably listening to his footsteps and the banging of the door.
The decking creaked as Stefan stood. I heard him brush the straw off his breeches, then walk up behind me and stop. I felt his breath on the back of my neck.
I said ‘If you start gloating over him now …’
‘Oh, grow up,’ he said. He stepped past and down off the platform, looking thoughtfully at the open door. ‘There’s more to this than a nobleman giving his word, isn’t there? There’s something else driving him.’
I said bitterly ‘You’ve never understood him, never, you couldn’t begin.’
His head screwed round to me for a moment, then he looked back at the door. ‘Thanks for the enlightenment,’ he said, and walked after the others.
Anne du Pré
Extract from her diary, dated 30 May 1639
I had looked forward so much to Jeanette coming, but now everything is spoilt.
Pablo and Luiz visited during the Slug’s duty, and again Colette allowed it. She remained on the lit de repos, but Pablo sat with his arm along her headrest and whispered down at her, and she did not turn away. Luiz leant against the wall and watched them with a proprietorial smile on his face. I hate him so much it hurts.
Florian was no help, he merely yawned as if he were tired, and strolled into his bedroom so he didn’t have to see. I knew perfectly well they wanted me to leave too, but I wouldn’t. I worked on the red of the pheasant’s face, and listened as hard as I could to Pablo.
He had the effrontery to ask Colette if she would attend their party when the senior officers dined again in Dax, and simply would not accept her refusals. He was speaking very softly, but I think he said something about it all being very different. He said the wine and her beauty were enough to go to any man’s head, but this time she would be treated like a queen.
Then the Slug brought in Jeanette, so I stood at once and said ‘You will have to leave now, gentlemen, our maid is come.’
Luiz looked at me quite impertinently and said ‘Oh-ho, little Mademoiselle, that is for your sister to say. Do you wish us to leave, Mlle Colette?’
Poor Colette. She dare not tell them to leave because she is afraid the meat will stop. She said timidly ‘No.’
Pablo smiled at me and said ‘You needn’t trouble to stay, Mademoiselle, if you need time with your maid. We shan’t be offended if you go to the bedroom.’
Luiz laughed, and I sat down again at once. I would not leave my sister alone with them, I would not.
Jeanette was disconcerted, for she had never seen behaviour like this before, and seemed unsure what to do for the best. At last she said ‘I will see to your clothes then, Mademoiselle,’ and I just said ‘Yes.’
I cannot believe I was such a fool. It was not until I heard her opening the clothes press that I realized the danger and ran to the bedroom, but I was too late. She was on her knees in front of the press, the gold dress in her hands, and the face she turned to me was quite immobile with horror. She clearly understood the significance of what she had found, and indeed how could she not? The rips might be explained another way, but the stains are quite unmistakable.
‘Mademoiselle,’ she whispered to me. ‘Oh, Mademoiselle, why didn’t you tell me?’
I had to explain, for fear she would think it was me. In a way I was glad to, for she put her arms round me and gave me a hug such as I have not had in years, not since Mama died. I’m afraid I think I cried a little too. That is very weak of me, I know, but I have been so lonely.
Perhaps it was not so very dreadful. At least I know the secret is safe with Jeanette. She has promised not to tell anybody, she swore it by the Blessed Saints.
Jacques Gilbert
Jean-Marie broke every rule we’d got by bringing her to the Hermitage but I didn’t give a stuff when I heard what she’d got to say, I was just worried about the boy. He said he was all right, he just wanted to be by himself, but when I heard him galloping off on Tempête, I knew we were in for trouble. This was his own private nightmare come back, and I knew he couldn’t bear it a second time. I threw a saddle on Tonnerre and went straight after him.
He was up the tree overlooking the Château grounds, his eyes fixed on that first-floor window like he could see straight into it. He didn’t even turn when I climbed up, he waited till I was right behind him, then just glanced round briefly before going back to staring at the window. It was dark by then, and all we could see was the faint flickering light that meant candles lit inside.
He said ‘She’s in there. She’s in there going through God knows what, and I can’t get to her.’
I reached out and touched his shoulder. ‘Let’s go back and talk about it. We’re not doing any good out here.’
He shook his head. ‘If there’s trouble, I’m going in.’
‘The patroller will have you as soon as you clear the trees.’
He smiled grimly. ‘He won’t.’
‘You can’t get in.’
‘I’ll force a window.’
‘The guards will hear, you’ll be killed. Who’s going to help, her then?’
He stared at me, but then there was a loud clatter, and we saw the big window on the ground floor had been thrown open. A great gust of male laughter drifted out, and somewhere in the middle was a girl’s voice, raised in a kind of squeal.
The boy moved in the same second, hurling himself forward on the branch to leap over the wall. I grabbed his leg and pulled back hard, but he smashed his boot right at me and I had to let go and snatch his belt instead. He was struggling and kicking, there were leaves scattering everywhere, but I dragged him near enough to get hold of his arms and thrust him down the tree on our side. I jumped down after him, but he was already scrambling to his feet, and I had to grip him by the shoulders and shove him hard against the trunk; it was all I could do.
We heard the men laughing again, and then the girl’s voice sounded in another squeal, but this time very high-pitched, and ended in gurgling laughter.
I said ‘It’s not her. For Christ’s sake, André, it’s not her.’
He struggled weakly for a second, then went still and listened. The girl laughed again, and this time I knew he heard it. I stepped back and let go of him, but he didn’t move, he just stayed stuck up against that tree and staring at me.
‘All right,’ he said at last. ‘You’re bigger than me and you’ve sto
pped me. What are you going to do next time? Go all the way?’ His hand patted his sword.
‘Never,’ I said in disbelief. ‘Never, you know that.’
‘Do I?’ he said tiredly. ‘If you don’t, you won’t stop me.’
He looked so wretched I wanted just to scrape him off that tree and hug him, but he wasn’t a little boy any more and he meant every word he said. We stared at each other with two feet of space between us that was suddenly like a mile.
The girl’s laughter rang out again, nearer and shockingly loud in the night air. It sounded mocking and horrible. Then there came a single man’s laugh, low and intimate, and suddenly my brain cleared.
I said ‘André, it’s a prostitute.’
‘I know,’ he said dismissively. ‘But next time …’
I was already reaching for the first branch of the tree. I said ‘That’s the men’s mess, they’ve got a whore in there. How?’
I was swinging myself up, and he was only a second behind me. We wriggled up so fast it’s a miracle the patroller didn’t hear the rustling. Then we were back in position and looking over, and we were only just in time.
There was a girl in a light-coloured dress standing on the terrace holding her shoes, and a soldier climbing out of a window behind her. It was the little window on the corner of the north and west walls, the one Arnould said was a store-room, but it was barred, I knew it was, we’d looked at it a hundred times.
The soldier straightened up, waved cheerfully at the passing patroller, then turned back to the window and carefully screwed the bar back in place. The girl took his arm and they set off towards the trees together, swinging their shoes as they went.
Anne du Pré
Extract from her diary, dated 6 June 1639
My hand is shaking so much it is difficult to write.
Pablo and Luiz came again, doubtless hoping Jeanette’s visit would draw me away as before. I know they blame my presence for Colette’s refusal to go to their hateful party, for they continually speak in whispers, looking round in the most irritated way.
Today, however, Luiz came to speak to me. I am sure he only wished to distract me, but he really was quite unbearable. He sat on my footstool and told me stories about his father at the siege of Breda. I displayed no interest in his remarks, but he would not leave me alone, and when I went to fetch green silk from my box to do the patch by the eye, he followed and leant over my shoulder to admire the colours. I turned at last and begged him to go away and let me attend to my embroidery.
He appeared oddly disconcerted, and said sulkily ‘Why must you always be so unfriendly, Mademoiselle? Your family is nothing special, I think. There are ladies at home who would go on their knees to have me pay them this much attention.’
I said politely ‘Then the remedy is in your own hands, Señor.’
He laughed. ‘Ah, but we are stuck in this wretched dungheap, Mademoiselle, we must take such company as we can find.’
He stood smiling at me, his dark eyes gleaming, this man who connived at what was done to my sister. I said in desperation ‘You have women of your own here, I have heard them downstairs. Why must you bother my sister?’
He said ‘Really, Mademoiselle, such a question. Your sister is the daughter of a Baron, how can you speak of her in such a connection?’
‘How can you think of her in such a connection?’
He regarded me in silence for a moment, and I think he saw the need for pretence was over. He sighed, reached out to the dressing table and picked up my handkerchief. ‘It thinks itself very fine, does it not?’ he said, admiring the lace edging and embroidered crest. ‘But it is still a handkerchief, and has exactly the same purpose as my own. And when I need to blow my nose, I derive much greater pleasure from doing it on this one.’ He actually blew his nose into my handkerchief, right before my face. ‘A gentleman can develop a taste for such things, Mademoiselle. Do you understand?’
He was grinning at me, a terrible, knowing leer, and I could not bear it a moment longer, I struck out and slapped him with all my might.
Colette gave a little cry, but Pablo only threw back his head and laughed. ‘Poor de Castilla!’ he said. ‘I take it that’s another “no”?’
Luiz’s face was darkening red, and he turned on me so savagely I was forced to back away. He planted his hand against the wall and leant forward over me, pushing his face close to mine, and I couldn’t move any further away, the dressing table was hurting my back. I was aware of the door opening and people coming in, but could not take my eyes from Luiz, he was frightening me. He said ‘You don’t know who you’re dealing with, Mademoiselle,’ and I tried to turn my head away, but then a voice cried ‘Leave her alone!’ and there was Jeanette seizing hold of Luiz’s arm and trying to pull him away.
Luiz turned and struck her so hard across the face she fell against the wall. Colette was screaming, the Slug was shouting, Pablo was laughing, Florian was storming out of his bedroom, then I heard a new voice in the hubbub, there was another soldier in the room, and I saw with relief it was the Owl. Perhaps he was due to take over duty from the Slug, or perhaps he just heard the shouting, it didn’t matter, he was there, and at sight of him everything went quiet. Luiz stepped casually away from Jeanette, as if he had never touched her.
The Owl looked quite red with anger at seeing two junior officers in our apartment, and one of them assaulting our servant. He assisted Jeanette to her feet, then turned sharply on Pablo and Luiz, firing questions in rapid Spanish. It was too fast for me to follow, but I think Pablo tried to dismiss him, and the Owl stood his ground. He was only a common soldier and they were both enseignes, but he stood his ground, our good, kind Owl. I heard him say several times the words ‘Capitán d’Estrada’, and finally ‘Don Alonso’, who is chief of police, at which both Pablo and Luiz began to look like sulky children, and the Slug seemed quite terrified. Beside me Colette was muttering ‘Oh God, Anne, what have you done? Everything’s ruined, what have you done?’
The Owl finished speaking. After a moment, Luiz turned to us, but he wouldn’t look at me, he spoke only to Colette. He said ‘I’m sorry, Mademoiselle, but it seems we are no longer welcome here.’ My heart leapt with joy, and perhaps he sensed it, for he turned next to my gallant Jeanette and said contemptuously ‘And neither is this woman. If she sets foot in the Château again I’ll have her arrested.’
I protested at once that Don Miguel himself had said she could come, but he only slid his eyes round to me, and the look in them was so cold I wanted to shiver. He said ‘She is no hostage, she is an ordinary civilian who has attacked a Spanish officer, and can count herself lucky she’s not hanged.’
There was a dead silence. The Slug stepped forward and seized Jeanette by the arm, but she insisted she had clothes to return to us, things to sort out, she could not just leave. I think the Slug would have dragged her out anyway, but the Owl spoke shortly to him, and he grudgingly accompanied her to the bedroom. I tried to follow, but the Slug ordered me back. We were not even to have a chance to speak.
I could not bear to lose Jeanette. She is our only link to the outside world, and our only means of communication with André. Sometimes I feel she is my only friend. I whispered to Colette ‘I will not accept it, I will appeal to Don Miguel.’
‘And how will you explain it?’ said my sister. There was no sympathy on her face, only a kind of miserable anger. ‘For God’s sake, Anne, haven’t you done enough damage?’
I felt as if she had struck me. I looked wretchedly round the room, but the Owl was helpless and Florian only looked away. Luiz regarded me with satisfaction, and nodded his head as if pleased with what he had accomplished. He said to Pablo ‘Come on, Vasquéz, we’re finished here,’ and strolled complacently out.
Pablo looked at Colette, shrugged, and said ‘Well, goodbye, Mademoiselle.’ Colette looked up at him, her face both anxious and strangely hard. Her voice was very low, but I heard her say ‘You can always come back.’
Pablo
hesitated, then said ‘I’m sorry, but de Castilla’s right. There’s nothing for me here.’ He started after Luiz, then paused and looked back at her, and for a moment the old boyish smile flitted back on to his face. He said lightly ‘Unless, of course, you’ve changed your mind?’
They looked at each other, and I think I held my breath. Colette was very still.
‘Will you?’ said Pablo softly. The Owl was watching uneasily, uncertain what was being discussed. His French is still poor.
Colette took a deep breath and said ‘Yes.’
Pablo smiled in triumph, bowed and went out. The sound of the door closing behind him felt like the end of my whole world. Jeanette was lost to us, André was beyond reach, and what would become of my sister I knew only too well. Almost worse than anything was the terrible truth that Colette was right, it was all my own fault. I think for a moment I wanted to die.
Jeanette came out of the bedroom with the Slug close at her elbow, hustling her to the door. She paused in front of me, managed a little smile, then took out the rose from her corsage and laid it gently in my hand. It was small and tightly furled still, but it was salmon-pink and smelt of summer in the garden, and I thought it beautiful. The Slug looked at it suspiciously, as if it might be some kind of weapon, but Jeanette ignored him and spoke directly to me.
‘It’s not much, Mademoiselle,’ she said. ‘It’s only from the garden of a friend, and he’s afraid it won’t keep above a fortnight.’ Her eyes found mine and held them.
I managed to say ‘A fortnight?’
‘Not even that,’ she said. ‘If you keep it in water it might last twelve days, but my friend is certain it will be no longer.’
I felt my knees trembling beneath my dress, and could not say a word. There was no opportunity anyway, for the Slug was hurrying Jeanette out again and we could do no more than exchange one last look before the door was shut.