by A L Berridge
I fired. While I passed my gun down to Georges, I heard Margot fire, then Simon, then the next, one after the other as we’d planned it. We’d never been able to keep up such a disciplined line of fire, and the effect on the soldiers was dramatic. The one in front was always being shot, so they began to fan out, but now they were nearly in the middle of the wall, so Giles’ and Jacob’s teams could bring their pieces to bear as well. Caught from both sides, the Spaniards simply broke and ran. Perhaps it was because they had no senior officers, but the fact is they ran. There were others starting down the drive from the west gate and one or two loosed off shots at us, but Georges had passed me my second musket, and I took the first, Margot the second, our men kept firing all along the line, and they turned and ran like the others.
I’d never, never seen anything like that before. This was the enemy, and they were frightened of us. I wanted to keep firing and firing even when they were all back inside.
Anne du Pré
There were men all about us, the trees above our heads were alive with them. I think I’d expected André’s men to be something like a group of bandits, but this felt like a whole army. The gunfire seemed to crash out over and over again as if it would never stop. There were horses near us, and we took care to keep clear because the firing disturbed them, and they stamped and reared in the dark so the men could hardly hold them. We clung together and waited for the shooting to stop.
A man came limping towards us from the fields, and said ‘Don’t you worry, ladies, we’ll have you out of this in a second. We’re just waiting for the captains, then we’ll get you up.’ It was Giles, dear Giles Leroux, who used to be our gamekeeper. He beamed at us, and I saw his face was scratched and bleeding while his clothes were desperately ragged and torn, and I was afraid he must have been living hard all this long while. But he only laughed kindly and said he’d been playing a little game of hide-and-seek with the soldiers, otherwise he’d have presented a more respectable appearance.
There was a stirring near the wall, and here came our own rescuers safely out of the grounds. Men were crowding round and clapping them on the back, and there seemed a great deal of talk and laughter. Giles stood beside us to keep us safe in the press, he kept saying ‘Mind yourselves there, keep those bloody horses back!’ and the familiarity made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Then a man helped Florian on to a horse with Stefan, the large Flemish one passed Colette up to Marcel, then Giles said ‘By your leave, Mademoiselle,’ and lifted me so André could take me in his arms and rest me on the horse in front of him. I would perhaps have been more secure if I had straddled the animal, but André slid me right across its back so I was safe in the crook of his arm, then wrapped the other round to hold me firmly into his body.
‘Comfortable?’ he said. Our heads were now so close together his eyes seemed almost to blur into one.
I said ‘Yes,’ but nothing else, because I felt a little embarrassed, although I was well wrapped in his cloak and was quite decent.
He said ‘Good,’ and began to turn the horse to ride us away. As we went round, I saw the man with the blue eyes standing on the ground looking after him. There was still something haunting about his face.
We came clear of the crowd, I saw the others riding ahead of us, and beyond them lay the open fields. There was still occasional firing, but it seemed far away and nothing to do with us, because we were still in my dream. The fields simply fell away beside us as we picked up speed. My hair was working loose in the wind, but my only fear was it might blow in André’s face and distract him while he was riding. Then the sound of the hooves changed from a thump to a clatter as we galloped across the Kingsway, and our pace slowed as the horse carried us on into the darkness of the forest. It was colder in there and quieter, and the stillness of it seemed to clear my head.
I was riding through the woods in the middle of the night with André de Roland’s arm about my waist, and my head against his shoulder.
Jacques Gilbert
We got the marksmen peeled off the trees in the end, and the ground started to clear. Jean-Marie was riding with me, and he bounced with excitement all the way back. He couldn’t get over what we’d done, and the fact we hadn’t lost a single man doing it. He kept saying ‘Not a single man, Jacques, isn’t that wonderful?’ He was starting to get on my nerves. Nobody seemed to realize just how close we’d come to losing the boy, how easily he could have been killed. I knew Stefan had got him out, but if it had been me I’d never have left him in the first place, never.
I dropped Jean-Marie just south of the Hermitage, telling him casually I’d promised to see my Mother about something, then belted down to Ancre as quickly as I could. It was a bit of a nuisance really, but in another way I was looking forward to it. The news of the raid was going to be all over the Saillie tomorrow, it was like the biggest thing ever, and I was going to tell my family I’d really been part of it.
Anne du Pré
I might have been cold in the forest, but André’s arm was warm around me and I was sheltered by his body. I felt very safe.
The trees became gradually denser, and the horses needed to slow almost to a walk. I missed the exhilaration of the speed, and became much more aware of the silence between us. At last I gathered my courage to ask where we were going, but to my surprise he did not answer. I wondered if perhaps he didn’t like to be distracted by conversation while he was riding, but a moment later he turned his head round to me and said ‘Are you still all right there?’
I said yes, then added a little timidly that I was wondering where we were going.
He answered without hesitation, and I realized he simply could not have heard me the first time. He explained we would have to ride almost as far as Artois to get past the Wall, but I need not worry, we would not be going near any Spanish-occupied roads or villages. He said there was a single-track road which enabled us to cross the gorge and come out in the woods of France.
I said ‘Do you mean the gabelle road?’
He smiled. ‘Yes, Mademoiselle, I mean the gabelle road.’
He stayed looking at me, which concerned me a little, although the horse seemed to be following Stefan’s quite happily without any help from its riders. I started to say ‘Thank you,’ but noticed his eyes went at once to my lips as I spoke. That made me feel strangely self-conscious, but suddenly I remembered how Papa’s mother used to look at us when we were talking, and then of course I understood. I should have guessed it before, when André failed to hear Luiz coming up behind him, but perhaps it is only in the one ear, for there had been no other sign until now.
He said ‘Something is troubling you.’
I said quickly ‘No indeed, Monsieur, I am very happy.’
He was silent a moment. I thought he was going to say something, but when I looked back at him, he was frowning fiercely at the horse’s neck. At length he cleared his throat, and this time he did speak, but he was still looking at the horse.
He said ‘That man, the one who was holding you when I came in. Did he touch you?’ He turned to see my reply.
I knew what he meant. I remembered Luiz’s hands on my chemise and the sudden hardness of his body as he pressed against me. I said quickly ‘No. I think he would have, but you came in time.’
His face relaxed, and his arm seemed to tighten about me. I remembered the way he and Luiz had stared at each other, and the expression on André’s face as he looked at the body. Something else caught in my mind, and I remembered that strange conversation between Luiz and Carlos, when they talked about being recognized.
I said hesitantly ‘You knew him, didn’t you?’
He did not answer immediately, and I thought he had not heard, but then he said quietly ‘Had I known he was with you at the Château I think it would have driven me mad.’
The horse was slowing again, and we were approaching an opening in the forest, dominated by a rocky outcrop with sides like cliffs. There were people in the clearing and to my amazem
ent one was my dear Jeanette, waving her handkerchief and smiling so widely I thought her face would split.
‘This is where the first stage ends,’ said André. ‘You will need to change your clothes before you proceed, then our guides will take you on to Lucheux. You will have to wait there a day, I’m afraid, but on Monday there will be a coach to Paris, and you will soon be home.’
I was so startled I started to fall forward, and he had to catch me back with his arm.
I said ‘Don’t you come with us?’
He reined the horse to a stop. ‘Your brave Jeanette is to accompany you, if you will allow it, but you will be safe with our guides.’ He lowered me carefully to the ground, and dismounted himself.
I said ‘I do not doubt it.’ They were strangers and all men, but they were André’s men, and I would have trusted myself to them anywhere.
He said ‘Then don’t worry, Mademoiselle. Any of these men would give their lives to protect you. There is nothing to fear.’
I spoke quite fiercely. ‘Do you think I am afraid?’
He regarded me seriously, then took a little step towards me. ‘No.’
I turned away quickly and began to pat the horse.
After a moment he said ‘I would like to come with you. I really wish I could. But I have responsibilities here I can’t abandon. I have friends I can’t leave.’
I remembered what I’d seen as we rode away from the Château. ‘The man with the black hair and blue eyes.’
His own eyes seemed to widen. ‘Yes. That’s Jacques. How did you know?’
I couldn’t answer because I didn’t know. I began hurriedly to pet the horse again, but he came and stood beside me to stroke him too.
He said ‘I will come as soon as Dax is free. Will you speak for us in Paris, Mademoiselle? Will you tell them we have been fighting a long time and need some sign we are not forgotten?’
I said ‘I will tell everyone who will listen. For myself, I will never forget.’
I heard him catch his breath a little, but he went on stroking the horse. His little finger just brushed against mine as he did it, so I moved my hand at once, but then he gave an exclamation and reached up to where my other arm rested on the horse’s flank. My sleeve had fallen back, and he was looking at my scar.
I moved to cover it, but he caught my hand to stop me. He said ‘Do you really not know how beautiful that is?’
He cannot really think so, it is a little patch of foreign white skin and I hate it.
I heard him say ‘Anne …’
Colette called ‘Anne!’ I turned and saw a blanket rigged between two trees to make a screen, and Colette’s head sticking out of the top as she changed her clothes. Jeanette was beside her, waving me to join them.
I turned quickly to go to her, but then realized Marcel and the one called Stefan were standing by their horses, and clearly ready to leave. I could not possibly allow them to go unthanked, and poor Florian was in no condition to do anything, so it would have to be me.
I went first to Marcel, and said ‘M. Dubois, I am so glad you survived,’ which was an unbelievably stupid thing to say, because I would hardly have been glad to find he was dead, but he smiled at me so nicely I knew he understood. I reached up as I used to as a little girl and kissed him on both cheeks, and he gave me a respectful little bow.
Then I turned to the big one called Stefan, and it would have looked rude not to embrace him as well. I hesitated, and he regarded me with his eyebrow raised as if to say ‘Now kiss me, Mademoiselle, if you dare.’ Well I do dare, I won’t have that kind of challenge from anyone. So I reached up to kiss his cheek, and he suffered me with a good grace. His face was rather rough and bristly.
Then it was André, and I know I should have kissed him too, but somehow at the last minute I couldn’t do it. So I curtsied and gave him my hand, and he kissed it. His lips felt warm on my skin, but I expect my hand was cold after the ride. He said he had to thank me also for saving his life, but that was only politeness, for I know he would have killed his man without me. I said I was sure Papa would write to express his own gratitude, then returned him his cloak and went quickly to join Colette.
There was a pretty riding habit in dark green laid out ready for me, but as I was about to change I suddenly remembered this diary was still in André’s pocket, and rushed out behind the screen to find the men already mounting up to leave. André’s boot was in the stirrup, but when he saw me he stepped down and waited.
I asked for my book, because I didn’t want him to know what it was he carried. He exclaimed as he remembered it, and quickly returned it, the cover still warm from having been pressed so close against his body. He did not immediately turn again to his horse, and for the first time since he came into our apartments I thought him ill at ease. Finally he jerked his head up quite abruptly and said ‘Tell me, Mademoiselle, why you would not kiss me as you did my friends?’
I began ‘Because …’ but could not think how to finish. Perhaps my face told the story for me, for he suddenly took a step towards me, put the palm of his hand up to the side of my face to turn it towards him, and kissed me. It was a gentle and respectful kiss, a very little one, but it was on my lips. Then he stepped back and bowed, and looked at me a little nervously. He probably expected me to slap his face, and of course I should have, but I didn’t, I just stood like a complete idiot, and did nothing at all.
His expression changed. He glanced round to make sure no one was watching, then stepped up to me again, and took me in his arms as if he meant it. I don’t think it was so very wrong, because really we were no closer than we had been on the horse, but I stared very hard at his shirt all the same. Then he said ‘Anne,’ again, and it’s strange, because his arms about me felt so strong and confident, but his voice was humble, it was almost trembling. I looked up at him in wonder, and it was there again in his eyes, what I had seen the first time, and then his face was moving closer, and then he really did kiss me.
It is nothing like as difficult as I thought. You tilt your face one way, and he tilts his the other, and then it is easy. He opened his lips a little, so I had to open mine to stay with him, and then of course I found I was kissing him too. I was so ashamed I pulled right back, and he opened his eyes to look at me, and there was something almost startled in his gaze. He was breathing rather quickly, then I felt the pressure of his hand on my back to draw me to him again, but I heard Jeanette calling me from behind the screen and knew I was behaving quite dreadfully, so I turned and fled, and never once looked back. While I dressed, I heard them riding away.
I know what will happen. We will go to Paris and it will be years before I see him again, and then he will not remember, or if he does, he will not care. But I am writing this at the Poulet Noir at Lucheux, it is a day since I have seen him, and I still have butterflies in my stomach and a dreadful emptiness in my heart.
Jacques Gilbert
I didn’t risk the back meadow, I was being very careful. I stayed in the forest all the way down to the orchard, then cut across through the Home Farm. Tonnerre’s hooves seemed very loud in the dark, so I dismounted and led him round the big barns to keep him on the grass all the way to the paddock, then hid him in a little patch of trees with his muzzle on in case of a passing patrol. I was being so careful you wouldn’t believe.
I walked the last bit along the edge of the drive. I remember I was thinking about Anne. I’d not seen much of her, I’d been too worried about the boy, but there was just one moment when we were both under the flambeau and I saw her face really clearly. There was still that hair, of course, and under the flickering light it blazed like a bonfire all its own, but it was the first time I’d really seen her face. She didn’t have a big nose, she wasn’t ugly, she wasn’t even plain, she was just beautiful. If André got a good look at her in any kind of light he was going to be in real trouble.
As I passed the last bushes, they seemed to come alive and rush at me. I made to run, but my legs got tangled, something
tripped me, and I fell forward heavily, losing my hat and knocking my head on the ground as a great weight landed on my back and pressed me down into the gravel. I heaved backwards to push it off, but there were men all round me, and someone was kneeling on my back and grinding my face down into the dirt. I was dizzy from the blow on the head, and could hardly breathe from the weight on my lungs. I felt gravel in my mouth.
‘All right,’ said a voice in Spanish. ‘Turn him over.’
The man holding my right arm released the pressure and bent it back the other way, and the one on my back got up. I tried to jerk myself upwards as they turned me, but they had my arms fast and someone else was holding my legs, and I could only flop about like a fish on a hook. They got me on my back, and someone put a knee on my chest to keep me down. Someone else was unbuckling my scabbard.
‘Let’s have a look at him,’ said the first voice, and a man’s face appeared close in front of mine. I had this terrible urge to spit at him, but you can’t spit upwards when you’re lying on your back, it would have just flobbed back in my own face.
‘Is it?’ asked one of the others.
‘Description’s right,’ he said, studying my face like it was satisfactory. ‘Get him up, and we’ll find out for sure.’
They pulled me to my feet, then tied my hands together behind my back. I’d thought it was bad enough when I watched the boy’s hands being tied, but it’s worse when they do it behind your back, it puts you off balance, and you feel exposed to anything in front. I felt dazed and sick, and wanted to wipe the gravel off my face, but I couldn’t reach it, even with my shoulder.